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Slingshot (2024)
NO ALIENS BUT PLENTY OF ALIENATION
What happens when you have a handful of decent actors, a tiny idea for a short story & the funding to make a film ?
Something just like this- an infuriating bore fest that takes forever to go anywhere & where the actors have to act like they are in a dream for anything to make even the slightest bit of sense.
Of course any military concern would pick the most mentally fragile & damaged psyches to man a pioneering space mission !!! So in this they decide on sending a love sick introvert, a manic neurotic engineer & a sublimated sadist as commander.
They have no protocols for what to do if there is any damage to the ship/craft & are low on fuel, supplies & common sense. Yet the ship is large & could easily accommodate all sorts of supplies & machinery. The crew have to take some experimental drug for their space hibernation that induces hallucinations & basically messes up their minds with memory loss & paranoia, therby making them all liabilities to each other & the mission... who could devise such a cruddy idea, its almost as ludicrous as the 'real/alleged' NASA theater we keep getting spoon fed.
So , another poorly conceived & lazily thought out space bore written & directed by people unfamiliar with the genre & wonderful literature of science fiction. This story is a poor mans variation on what BARRY MALZBERG did in such style & humour with his books THE FALLING ASTRONAUTS , BEYOND APOLLO & many other short stories, where space isnt a new wild frontier to conquer, but a vast and tedious mental state of existential alienation & crippling loneliness whatever the company or spectacle on display.
I wont even mention the impossibility of it all, with the pseudo gravity conceit of a slingshot around Titan, although its a NASA stock in trade concept the idea is actually preposterous & proves the concept of Gravity is child-like or devised for infantile minds by evading electro-magnetic forces & other actual influences for a fanciful conceit that mass =a 'magnetic' physical influence ; yet everything remains in some kinetic process of impossible equilibrium ... oops I just did mention it!
The only way this film could work is if we were to discover it wasn't actually in space, but instead was a simulation devised for psychological experiments conducted as a test of mental torture & endurance upon military personnel. Instead that torture & test seems to be applied to anyone watching this tedious piece of film making indulgence.
The Union (2024)
BLAND, INSPID & Pointless.
Another rubbish story about espionage agencies, born from an infantile mind unaware of real life complexities & compromises/consolidations.
So, a fantasy pretending to be a comedy, that has nothing funny in it, except for the character playing Haile Berrys HUSBAND.
He is great, while everyone around him is at best merely competent. Yet what have they got to work with?
The most childishly inane script , a pathetic story full of holes & impossibilities would make this a nightmare role for any actors associated with it, no wonder this film is so bland; despite the competent technical components, some well choreographed fights & decent soundtrack. However Berrys 'husband' does a fantastic job with a 2 dimensional character, adding some wonderful subtle looks, mannerism & movement... I especially enjoyed how he ran towards the car.... it evoked the best of the 'fun' Blacksploitation films of the 70s.
The rest of the film, while admittedly 'well made' has little charm, a few smile inducing lines here & there but nothing laugh out loud funny. A great stunt where falling of a bike ends up in the car boot. Most of the vents you will have seen endless times already in a multitude of better films.
As it is so clearly a light comedy I will not bother critiquing the risible story that makes no scene at all, Really this level of dire writing & lack of imagination should be extinct now a days, yet is more prevalent than ever.... ie- just destroy the case/information! Why did such a database exist ! Why not dispose of the 'trader' after he tried to kill them? The list of continuity jumps & shallow thought would be endless.
One thing that stuck out was Marky Marks lack of continuous facial hair growth. How is it that a man of his age can't grow a decent layer of stubble, & instead has grubby tufts loitering in random spots on his face. The agency can pack guns & bullets , but a disposable razor is beyond their remit ?
The film (Marky Marks character) even says of itself near the start, '' None of this makes any sense!''.
Pearl (2022)
TECHNICALLY EXCELLENT FILM WITH SHALLOW STORY
Everyone involved in this film does brilliant work. From the technicians, actors, cinematography, soundtrack & direction it is all top notch & heartfelt. It is technically almost impossible to fault.
It is an incredible looking film & has wonderful performances, with Mia Goth doing an outstanding performance conveying both innocent charm & calculating malice.... and calculated charm & natural malice !
The story has great moments with many 'homages/references' to classic horror films of the past. Sadly they are not used as fully as they could be & the story itself is rather shallow & drawn out.
Basically it is the tale of a frustrated young woman, whos husband is fighting in the war, leaving her in an oppressive rural community living with her miserable bossy mother, inert wheelchair bound father & a handful of farm animals.
How the family make money is a mystery, the mother seems to feed them corn-on-the-cob for almost every meal, and leaves a gift of a tasty roast pig on her doorstep to rot for several days !
Like in most films the IMAGE of the rotting pig is exploited , yet no one seems able to SMELL it. How many horror films would fail to work if you could actually SMELL the carnage on display?
Some stuff happens to give the viewer a clue that all is not well with Pearl, but her psychopathology is really no different from most people 'trapped' in similar circumstances... I'm not sure if the reason for her mania & cruelty is ever really explained as this film becomes very boring very quickly & I lost interest by the 1hour mark. I was yawning for 30 minutes before that.
It starts of decent enough, but just ambles along with 'unlikely' scenes with 'unlikely ' dialogue & interactions.
Some of the scenes are actually painful with their improbability, such as the audition.... ''we want a blond haired girl''.... which is actually pathetic unless from in a 'dream'/nightmare. It is a total non-reason, even in the early 1900's . If Pearl had sought revenge on 'them', then the film may have been more worthwhile. Instead it becomes more mawkish, self-pitiful & tiresome.
I realise that this genuinely impressive looking film, expertly made & performed was written & made quickly, it is just such a pity that more 'excitement/fun/gore/imagination, whatever! ' wasn't applied to the script before shooting, as EVERYTHING else about the film is so well handled, and the cast & director (& team) are notably excellent at what they do... & clearly have the sensibilities to one day make a masterpiece.
I haven't yet seen the other two parts of this 'trilogy', but this film did impress me in many ways so I will be checking them out sometime soon.
Watchmen: Chapter I (2024)
EXCELLENT & FAIRLY FAITHFUL ADAPATATION OF THE COMICS
This is an excellent adaptation of the original comics & quite different from the various cuts of the film.
The reviews saying this is boring must be by very boring & bored viewers, because the basic story is intact & as exciting and enthralling as ever.
Various changes have been made , otherwise the length of this film would be several hours long as the older 'animated comic' version proved.
I've seen all the various versions so far & this is a more faithful variation on the original comics (which I read as they were being released & before collected into graphic novel format) .
I love ALL the versions, except the 'theatrical cut' of Snyder's film- I love the Directors cut even tho some serious liberties were made with the story later in the film.
I really enjoyed the several hour animated comic version , tho even that missed several moments from the comics, it was 97% there.
This version begins with a superb recreation of the actual comics pages (altered in Snyder's film versions) , tho starts changing the original flow of the comics by issue 2 (the funeral) , however it does it in an imaginative & creative way that doesn't spoil the overall story. Some of the intercutting works brilliantly & some not so, but it still works & manages to move the story on in a concise manner without disrespecting the source material.
The artwork/animation is fabulous, combining the superb original style with a more sleek & sometimes airbrushed glow, very like Dave Gibbons promotional art for the Graphic Novel Collection. I'm surprised others have criticised it, it really is well designed, devised & implemented. For several scenes I totally forgot I was viewing an animation & thought I was watching a well made CgI moment.
So why not 10/10 then you may wonder?
Well, the soundtrack, which is also excellent can be a bit too high in the mix & obscure some great lines of dialogue... and that is about it with my quibbles !
AND ONE BIG ISSUE- at the end of the credits after the film-
a PREVIEW of Part2 is shown that in should really be avoided & never included, as it spoils some key moments later in the story.
Some may whinge that Laurie looks slightly different to the comic, but that is a minor issue. Others may complain that Ozymandias role is more explicit, but I imagine everyone watching this version is already familiar with the source material or Synders film.
Some may wonder what is the BEST version of Watchmen & that depends on the viewer..... but for me the COMICS were the best version (obviously!) .
The animated comic is the closest 'filmatic' version, while the Synder DIRECTORS CUT (with the Black Freighter parts included) is very well done but not as faithful to the source material as this version,.... ALL of them are are superb 'thoughtful entertainment ' that puts most modern writing to shame.
All the various versions are so different that they are all worth seeing if you love the original comics.
Note - I did not mention the HBO sequel series because I thought it was painfully bad & an insult to the original series (the comics).
Lonesome Dove (1989)
Certainly one of the most OVER-RATED TV Westerns ever
Like many people (it seems) I read the high praising reviews here and sought out this 8 hour series expecting something wonderful.
It is a series of rapidly diminishing returns.
Even if the viewer is in love with Duval, Lee-Jones, Glover etc the story is is risibly boring, annoying and simply silly rubbish- that the whole thing becomes torture.
Especially so if you love the classic Western, Spaghettis or just films & series that dont insult the viewer with preposterous events involving lame & horrible characters.... Characters typically being boring, mumbling , smirking, being self destructive, narcistic, pathetic....
Angelic Houston pays one of her worst roles ever & does a irksome OTT performance, Tommy L. J. is just a dull introverted lump...what a depressing mess.... and when you get to the end, the story really rubs salt in the wounds! This is not exiting, heartwarming or uplifting in any way.
I watched it a few months ago & tried to erase it from my memory but just read some of the more realist review here & the insipid horror of it started coming back.
I remember the first hour is decent enough-ish, but soon you realise that Duvall's character is an infantile stubborn prat, murdering thief, and mercenary scum. What a hero for the New World. He is the most fully realised character , yet is still barely 2- dimensional. The whole series is a compilation of BORING CLICHES and misery. The entire series reeks of ENNUI.
All the technical aspects are decent enough, its what they are in the service of that is the big problem.
I wont waste any more of my time or yours moaning on about a film that moans on for 71/2 hours,
I entirely concur with almost ALL the 4 to 1 star reviews here, they give a fair assessment, & go deeper into why this series is such a stinker.
For the me everything wrong with this series could have possibly been more tolerable (& forgivable ) if the STORY was any good, but is really is awful. Poorly conceived, mundanely executed & tediously realised. It is not entertainment, nor educational..
It really does seem a far more interesting mystery why so many people love it so much.
If this gets 10/10 then what rating would the genuine classic films/series get from the same reviewers..90 or 100 out of 10 ?... maybe the high reviews are useful to then evade all the other films the reviewer rates so highly.... Of course the same can be applied to my LOW SCORE for those that love this film.
Demon Seed (1977)
UNDER RATED GEM for thinking folk & film fans
This films ratings are marred by some low rating from people who miss the point , or who aren't 'really ' into films much, or maybe didnt bother to watch the film properly - ie they were on the phone etc at the same time.
The story is simple enough, and it plays out like a THEATRE PRODUCTION properly translated to film. The atmosphere & nuances are the gripping elements, coupled with excellent performance, score & technical involvement. The Direction is a cut above most filmmakers, and all Cammells works is well worth watching & thinking about.
The story is fascinating and beautifully handled. This is not a sci fi extravaganza or space opera for children and maybe that is why some viewers didnt enjoy or appreciate this film. The 'action'is all in the dialogue and shifting relationships between 'characters', what is latent & what is manifest.
This is a brilliant psychological thriller, with pertinent questions regarding the 'synthetic' & 'authentic', what is consciousness & what are its NEEDs , Fears & Desires?
Older viewers will get a lot out of this contemplative, yet never boring or slow film. Younger viewers may not recognise the depth within it, or even want to ?
I rate this an good & easy 8/10 but due to low ratings & lack of appriciation I consider it a 9/10 for THESE TIMES or from a SciFi/Speculative fiction perspective.,
The Fall Guy (2024)
A NEW FORM OF TORTURE
Does anyone really like this film....really....honestly?
If so, tastes (& requirements) have diminished, and a new low bar has been set. This film offers nothing in the way of 'conventional' entertainment and is just a clothes horse for talentless writer(s) to indulge in narcissistic nihilism.
Is it really a love story for people unable to love anyone but themselves?
Why does the R. Gosling character love the Emily Blunt Character , she is possibly one of the most repulsive smarmy & shallow poseurs given a lead role in any story ever. Why should the audience care?
I love action films, and was expecting a lot of brilliant stunts, irrespective if the story was any good or not.
Sadly the story isn't just bad it is REPULSIVLEY BAD and the characters aren't just poorly conceived & written , they are REPULSIVEL as well . This film was a painful experience to endure.
The stunts are good, but they are are all sort of 'throw away' moments, instead this is foremost an irksome, cloying LOVE STORY between horrible & shallow people who have no 'genuine' friends' , and a lot of emotional psychological ISSUES !
''Hey.... they work in the film biz, and everyone is like that don't 'cha know! '' Well, even so, they would certainly have a more tangible social life than anyone here seems to have, and probably not have the same OCD disposition these poor creatures of fantasy have been crippled with.
I note a lot of 1 star reviews here (almost all I agree with) couldn't watch past 45 minutes. I lasted 30 minutes. The rest I fast forwarded and stopped here & there, nothing made me want to waste any more time on this.... like several others I had also just watched the non-event CIVIL WAR with similar misgivings.
The two stars I gave here are for the stunts and excellent 'lighting' work.
Whoever did the lighting did an incredible job, as it is a work of art compared to many 'dim & grubby, chroma tinted' efforts of modern times. Unfortunatley , who and what they were lighting wasn't worth most peoples attention.
This film & Civil War were so bad that I didn't even feel inspired to write reviews at first, it just felt like even more time spent on this big distraction & time waste machine called the Media, and Hollywood in particular. Some films are bad and INSPIRING in that their failings are worth considering and discussing. This film just made me want to forget about it as soon as possible.
There seems to be a massive crisis in talent at the moment, with almost no notable writers making films, and Directors stuck in a rut of mediocracy, formulaic cliches & desperately lacking ideas.
It is obvious that film makers now-a-days don't have anything to say. They are typically born & raised in the industry and have little outside perspective, passion or experience to share... just 'fashions' and the latest virtue signalling issues conveyed as crass propaganda.
If relatively new to films, younger than myself etc, then that may be un-noticeable at first, but anyone who's watched many films over many years will certainly have noticed the rapid decline in the medium since around the turn of this century.
There are still plenty of great works of older fiction that could be plundered for ideas- yet when they are the arrogant modern writers usually transmogrify them, until they are unrecognisable; or just more of the same tiresome fodder and check-list-tick boxing for modern 'issues'.
Civil War (2024)
Ridiculously stupid and boring
There was nothing worthwhile or 'realistic' in this film.
I thought Alex Garland had talent and 'The Beach' is one of my favourite films when it came out,& Ex Machina was thought provoking , if a bit predictable.
This film is silly from the beginning with a girl who looks like she is 12 years old, shooting photos in the middle of a fight & getting hit in the head with a truncheon. A few minutes later shes up and about without a scratch, doing the cliched fan girl spiel to Dunsts character- a terminally miserable , withdrawn photographic 'pro'...ahem... there is nothing professional about any her, or her team, they are ludicrously inept.
Bizarre things like Dunst going into a street fight with a massive zoom lens on her camera, you would typically only use for photographing birds from half a mile away with, or craters on the Moon.
Another example is hat when they drive 180 miles without spare cans of fuel in the middle of a civil war. They get in the way of gun fights. They act like privileged/entitled 'impartial observers) then dive in like vultures among any carnage. Yet all around them are stunning photo opportunities that they rarely bother taking an image of - the bit where Dunst encourages the girl to take one of a crashed helicopter in a supermarket car-park is just exasperatingly inane.
The only bearable character is the older journalist who manages to get shot in the back while driving in a car that has passengers in the backseat that remain unscathed.
It just drones on being miserable or stupid in its depictions, such as in the middle of a very lethal gunfight Dunst & Co photograph soldiers reloading , using a flash. How long would they get away doing so in real life?
This raises interesting issues about what pass as 'real/genuine' war images for the media- how much is staged ?
Dune: Part Two (2024)
Better than part one
The story and characters are generally more involving in this part, tho with 3 hours to use it doesn't feel like two films worth of content.
Again the film has a great look,design and atmosphere, although it seems a bit lazy when dealing with the Harkonens. Resorting to using black and white/ Nazi newsreel evocations.
The story is the best thing about this still, a wonderful overview of almost ubiquitous political conspiracies that influence our own history and times.
Compared to David Lynch's version this is still lacking in many areas (& his version wasn't 'perfect' yet close, just rushed near the end). And even Walken cant match the brilliant performance of the Emperor in the 80's version of this, not that he gets much chance to do so.
The mother is again quite unconvincingly portrayed, and rushes like 'DragonGirl in GameOf Thrones' into megalomaniacal unhingement.
The worst acting/character is Pauls girlfriend, and as I cant remember the book (read over 35 years ago!) her sulky actions seem ludicrous and self cantered- shes with a man who has the charisma to liberate her oppressed people , and just pouts and mopes about like a moody teenager. The problem is probably due to bad casting, looking too young, immature and depressed for the role ?
Pauls dreams of the future here are poorly handled, and the fight scenes are also not as authentic as they could have been, more concerned with grimacing and poses than content.
Anyways, while part one was visually impressive it was laboured and disappointing (if the other versions hadn't been seen) this manages to be a fairly decent, entertaining and mildly insightful film that I found mostly enjoyable from start to finish.
Hopefully the box-office returns incite a PART THREE , and on, I would love to see GOD EMPEROR OF DUNE visualised, as it hasnt been done yet, and is an incredible tale...
Out of Darkness (2022)
FROM NOTHING TO NOTHING
3 writers with no talent make a boring, tedious ,pointless film.
They misrepresent tribal customs, nomadic lifestyle (who are suddenly mariners navigating the seas!) , cultural interaction and social hierarchies.
The film starts and the group are starving, they are next to the sea , yet no-one knows that fish, crabs, birds, rabbits, sea weed, insects or berries to eat !!!
They are from a nomadic tribe, yet can not built any shelter or tents. They camp out in the open and complain of incessant wind !
The wind may include the decomposing stench of the script?
The viewer will learn nothing of ancient people, survival in the wilderness, sea faring, contraceptive techniques or fashioning clothing from animal skins.
The only thing you will learn from this is to avoid all future films by the director and two other writers.
Also, you may learn something about the disposition and sensibilities for bored posh folk who have the connections and funding to waste time making un-imaginative shallow films?
Knowing the basics about anthropology, Ethnology, sociology and some psychology would normally be a prequisist for this type of story.
Instead the crew watched some old prehistoric films by Hammer and Fulci, etc and made a sort of- EASTENDERS ON THE MOORS episode set 50,000 years ago.
There wss nothing about this film I can recommend, and that includes the bland cinematography with dingy or inspid lighting throughout; the heavy handed soundtrack; or the drama school poshkids theatrical acting..
The Shamen: Omega Amigo (1989)
A GREAT CROSSOVER TUNE
The Shamen began as a psychedelic jangly guitar band very 60's inspired and with great production.
They became even more experimental and became more rhythmic with heavy drum beats, a unique sound at the times.
The original drummer and bass player left, leaving Will Sin & Colin Angus (the only original member).
Then they got deeply into the acid house sounds that were massive in the USA club scene at the time, this was recorded during the transition into the later chart bound sounds & dance orientated tunes. Its a beautiful, mellow but very danceable track.
The b-side is more like their older tunes with heavy drums- its a mutated version of Purple Haze.
The A-side was recorded primarily by Colin (at Orinoco studio) , while the B-side was recorded mostly by Will & me (Drums & no credit! ), with Brian Pugsley engineering (quickly & cheaply on 8track).
Will & myself did the scouting for the colourful tunnels used in the video , they were on Clapham Common. Chris did most of the editing for the video & I was drafted in to help on that as well.
Colin & Will are rarely seen in this, however when they are Will is wearing a white T-shirt with a design I painted on it. He liked it when I made it and asked to buy it off me... so this video has a lot of memories & connections for me.
Land of Bad (2024)
INANE FODDER FOR THE UNDISCERNING
This film is an utter stinker of cliches, has easily some of the worst dialogue ever written & spoken for a big budget film and nothing about it is at all believable. The acting is all melodramatic 'dialled in' predictability. The direction is a series of scenes we've all seen a hundred times before- ripped off every notable action film of the last 50 years , including the work of John Woo with constant gun -fetish moments.
The worst thing is the wretched story. It's an embarrassment to humanity that such callous psychopaths can be presented as hero's, hilariously homo-erotically obsessed with being 'macho' ,while bleating on about how much they love their families.
The story is a joke of adolescent fantasies regarding the MIIC- none of these people would ever be employed in a 'real' army- only some theatre brigade of over camp poseurs... like Dad's Army?
John Goodman's character ...no , wait it's actually Russel Crowe,.. is a neurotic, foul mouthed insubordinate that is so creepy & repulsive I'm amazed anyone thought his OTT performance was in any way impressive- its just stinky cheese... and he brags hes got 4 ex wife's & 8 children as he merrily blows up 'bad guys' with a missile firing drone.
The bad guys are of course cartoon terrorists, while the USA have of course never committed ANY such acts , nor transgressions EVER in their activities...snoooze.... when the 'bad guys' fight back the US troops act as if its UNFAIR and berate them with a new slew of school yard insults.
Almost everything about this film is unwatchable & unlistenable, apart from some creative cinematography, which sometimes is ruined by amateur editing, and a few 'decent' fights.
I fast-forwarded the last 45 minutes with subtitles on as it became excruciatingly bad . It didn't improve, & at the end I was hoping a meteor would impact their location and wipe all these miserable & unlikeable characters out of any potential fictional sequel.
I actually love so many 'cheesy, b-movie' action films that it's sad to see such a dependable genre now financially 'upgraded' into these bigger budget action films that have none of the CHARM or CREATIVITY of their predecessors.
These films don't need to be realistic or have poetic dialogue , but they do need to to create a compelling world, have characters you can empathise with, and achieve some level of entertainment. This film is not entertaining , it merely wastes time & fills the viewers heads with cruddy 'anally obsessed dialogue, from anally obsessed sadists.
The Beekeeper (2024)
actually a dark comedy , or seriously inept scriptwriter ?
Firstly - this is quite enjoyable - an almost typical , cliched action film with brutal fighting and predictable story... except for a couple of things worth mentioning.
The story is so utterly preposterous & contrived it comes across as a po-faced comedy. The main female protagonist (FBI Macy Gray look-a-like) is so terrible she can't help but incite laughter or mirth at her actions.
She also pulls some hilarious pouts during the film, while her motivations appear increasingly deranged- why is she making so much effort to tackle the man who got revenge for her & her mother - why does she do nothing about the parasites who stole from her mother when Stratham's character has opened all the doors for her to do so? It is farcical- yet still entertaining if the viewer is in the right frame of mind-
If you take this sort of comic book fare seriously you will find it unbearable- such as when Stratham is at the 'party' & shows himself- why did he do all of what follows ,when he could have archived his goal far more simply & effectively just by shaving his beard off or wearing a wig & dark glasses - because the writers thought the scenario would be 'cool'.
THIS FILM IS A BLACK COMEDY , intentionally or otherwise.
There are so many more silly instances that could be mentioned but they will probably be more entertaining experiencing them watching the film, instead of me just listing them here.
I noticed some reviews mentioning that this film explores serious issues of conspiracy- it doesn't - it ignores the vast network of family interests, bonds & consolidations that allow any 'individual' to become a prominent public figure, or even successful business enterprise.... It is a COMIC BOOK ACTION FILM and doesn't pretend to be anything more. As such it is quite entertaining.
Usually I would mention all sort of technical matters, but there is no need to with this- it's decent, everyone does their job adequately.
The fight scenes are brutal and reasonably well staged, but rather ridiculous as well, none of Strathams adversaries can aim a gun,and he has no serious challenges for most of the film. Despite that fact, if you can enjoy the utter unbelievability of the story the action can be even more entertaining than a more 'realistic' portrayal of such encounters.
6.5 out of 10 - for the shear preposterousness of the story & entertainingly awful acting of FBI Girl.
Mob Land (2023)
Horrible, painful, ugly & tedious.
There were some good review for this , that like a fool I thought had some validity!
Its a grubby miserable film , where the grubby miserable protagonist says an expletive every other word.
The story is just stupid & horrible - a twist on the same old story of unwitting accomplice who finds himself in deep water - this time with a mob hitman. Nothing is believable - all the actions are some comic book fantasy about how the 'mob' would work.
The colour palette of this film is atrocious- everything is muted & bleak., the cinematography is terrible , the camera never stops shaking - as the the cameraperson had some spasmodic twitching or st Vitus dance.
The acting is decent & sometimes good- for what the actors can do with it, I feel sorry for them- they all seemed talented - including a stoic John Travolta who has some gravitas here as a local lawman.
For about an hour after watching this film a feeling or grubbiness lingered that was hard to dispel.
I doubt I will ever watch another film by the director /writer - if I can help it.
What do these types of film-makers have to say to the public & their audience- what are they trying to convey with these horrible, cliched and depressing tales?
Nothing- it is pure nihilistic ennui.
The Big Country (1958)
Modern film makers could learn a lot from this film
What a joy it is to watch a film with no unrealistic, unbelievable , characters & events.
There are none of the 'film convolutions' that infest & ruin almost all modern films... no cardboard characters, no contrived story twists that jar, and no shaky cam juddering to induce a headache.
The soundtrack is superb, complimentary & never overtly intrusive.
The dialogue is excellent- up there with the witty & insightful exchanges in film noir's.
Gregory Peck is easily one of the best ever leading men, I'm surprised he is so rarely mentioned these days. In this he is easy-going but grounded by a noble integrity. He is genuinely heroic, with a morality & sensibilities alien to the modern age action heroes. And that morality is explored wonderfully with subtle mannerisms & a head on heart to heart later in the tale.
All the other actors fit their parts superbly.
His soon-to-be wife is slightly petulant, dramatic & neurotic- but that was a very common trait among many women folk in the past and a regular aspect of many films- here it is utterly believable & intrinsic to how events unravel.
The story is excellent. Peck finds himself between a long standing feud between his soon-to-be father in-law; an arrogant & wealthy retired 'General' who acts 'like god', who hates a 'ruff at the edges' poorer family full of rascals; both have to share water on a third parties land for their cattle.
It's a classic & archetypical tales told superbly, with stunning landscapes & flesh & blood people.
Despite the long run-time the film never drags, there are no dull moments or groan out loud indulgences, yet there are plenty of memorable & amusing moments worth revisiting.
There is plenty that could be said about this film , but should really explored within a more scholarly essay rather than a brief 'over-view' here. The political, family & social elements in this film have great resonance, and are still the foundations of the U. S. today.
If you have never watched this film before I highly recommend that you do, it's not a simple good vs evil fantasy, it's about the diversity of human personalities and how landscape can dictate & navigate their feelings, motivations & actions. Notably via potent personalities (such as the General & the other families patriarch ) as catalysts for radical changes, for better & for worse.
Navajo Joe (1966)
Brilliant Directing- lousy story
This film has many admirers, and it certainly deserves it for the superb cinematography, creative & stylish direction, rousing soundtrack by Morricone , and excellent performances by most of the cast, though the dubbing distracts from that a bit.. in fact the English dub (which is my usual preference for KungFu & Spaghettis) is shoddy and jarring with a terrible sound-mix.
Reynolds acting is quite wooden but that doesnt really matter, what does matter is the story.
The 'idea' isn't bad, but the execution is really awful.
The great overview here by Danimal-7 hits most of the problems, though the biggest hash is the 'back-turning' moment, which actually ruins the film & any heart warming resolution, which would have actually suited this tale.
The writers included well known director Fernando Di Leo,who is also an uncredited collaborator writing the classics Fistful of Dollars, A few dollars more, Django,both excellent Ringo films, Massacre Time & several other great westerns.. He was joined by b-movie hack Piero Regnoli the writer of Hills Run Red from the same year as this, and the talented Ugo Pirro, a writer of dozens of worthwhile Italian films. Here they seem lost in creating spectacles, rather than substance or logic.
Now that Corbucci is being re-appraised as one of the best genre film-makers of the time it's become a regular sight to see this film praised, and the initial criticism of it laughed at as being 'wrong'. Well, it is actually an example of terrible storytelling, redeemed by excellent talent. It does maintain the viewers interest , and moves at a decent pace, just induces several groans of disbelief.
Still, it's well worth viewing with this in mind.
However, if you want treasure seek out Django, Professional Gun , Campaneros, Great Silence. Hellbenders and even Minnesota Clay which set the stage for more hard hitting westerns , while not being a fully fledged 'classic' Euro-western.
Leave the World Behind (2023)
LOST ... while lonely & unlikeable
This film is utterly pretentious- it seemed to be trying to evoke a David Lynch, Wes Anderson sensibility married with LOST the TV series, or dare I say a touch of Stalker by Andrei Tarkovsky... yet has none of the beauty, ingenuity or depth of those directors.
The characters are all stereotypical & un-likeable in varying degrees.
Julia Roberts is a sour & bitter bossy & boring manic depressive who works in advertising - yet has none of the spark, fire & psychological skills needed for that profession. EthanHawke as her husband is hen pecked & cowardly. Their children are miserable & boring.
They are joined by an utterly untrustworthy father & daughter who own the house they are renting for a vacation. The daughter is upper middle class- or lower upper (from what I could gleam from their house & her dads 'profession' ) yet, looks like a ghetto girl who uses her body as a toilet wall, covered in graffiti/tattoos. She flirts with Ethans character then tells her father Ethan would try and have sex-with her- if he could.... what warped world does she inhabit- her father would be well aware of male dynamics & little Lolita daughters- hilarious, yet incredibly naff
things like this just make the film even more of a surreal dream without any depth or substance (unlike a genuine surreal dream !)
No-one in this film has any 'friends'. Which is a type of irony considering what transpires .
The no-friends/insular world trope is a standard film-making conceit- creating an insular & dream-like existence that can contrive around any real-life undermining of the 'ridiculous fiction' being told here.
This film has a lot in common with the TV series LOST- mainly the fact that the film-makers seem to have no idea about the ending- and in this case don't even bother with writing one.
Anyways, the director & co manage to keep the viewer interested in these bland, yet teasingly enigmatic characters (ie poorly written & shallow) for over an hour with a 'world undergoing some kind of Armageddon' scenario, then the film ends.
It has no revelation, narrative satisfaction, potent resonance or other redeeming feature after the credits roll. I imagine almost everyone watching this feels in some way CHEATED. Those who don't feel cheated may be behaving in far too tolerant a manner over something that most of us would consider an insult to the viewers intelligence, and certainly their time.
In the Land of Saints & Sinners (2023)
no saints left, just typical stereotypical misery
This just succeeds as a mediocre but decent, bleak-comic book/melodramatic revenge tale.
There's not much depth. It's full of contrived movie moments, never considers the scope of the religious & political situation in Ireland at the time (mid 1970's); and instead has some entertaining encounters in the countryside imparting 'old wisdom ' , and some daft interchanges between ' hit men'.
The direction & cinemaphotography are rather bleak and the film is played straight with some witty asides. Overall it is actually rather morose (in a typically desolate Irish countryside way). Unless you can learn to enjoy the intense performance of the main 'villain' this film would be really annoying.
The contrivances began at the start with an IRA bombing of a pub which kills some passers by.
Kerry Condon, playing the role of the uber-bossy, psycho-b*tch ( no sane person would deny this description- she is so Over hte Top it is hilariously 'bad') leader Doireann McCann in a small IRA team, sees a young mother and her children fumbling about over some dropped BOOKS by the pub door just before the explosion, and she moves towards them and starts shouting at them to move, we are meant to think she actually has compassion & empathy, despite being capable of blowing up a city pub, full of working-class locals... & their dogs.
During the gangs escape the driver of the car deliberately smashes into a local village (county?) sign smashing it to pieces and scaring the paintwork of the drivers door.
The paintwork is never repaired & they drive around in it all the time while trying to 'keep a low profile' in the same area as the sign damage!
The policeman mate of Neeson notices the paint colour on the signs shredded remains then does FA about it despite saying he will.
Later, psycho-b*tch boss ('PBB' from now on!) visits a single mum and her young daughter who were housing PBB's lousy, molester brother. PBB, as is her habit, says an expletive almost every other word in the exchange , while the young daughter watches, then she strangles the mother forcing her to the floor- and this is towards a family that are helping her out...! The mother is no better, also swearing for the sake of it,in front of a young child (rarely seen back in the 70's) and confronting a woman she knows could tear her apart!
In a strange way PBB is the best thing about this film. Her performance & dialogue are so utterly deranged that it adds an unexpected level of (unintentional) humour in an otherwise rather mediocre & predictable piece of action fodder. She can't stop being triggered and dangerously indiscreet; screaming at her cowering male colleagues at a local rugby (?) game in front of the entire village- just after all of their pictures have appeared in the newspapers ! She has no decorum, manners, sense of consequence and screeches throughout the film like a banshee with Coprolalia. Its all played straight & hyper-intense, even bolstered by foreboding music.... at least she's memorable.
Some may say she ruins the film, it is an insulting portrayal of the IRA and their 'cause/agenda' and takes away a certain dramatic tension, /they are all issues worth considering if you like, however this is really an revenge-action fantasy (as 99% of action films seem to be), the events are unbelievable and could never transpire in the way they do. Any real-life similarities are there purely as part of the plot contrivances and justification for the landscape/location.
For me, her OTT character & performance are the only reason I'd re watch this.
There's plenty of other eye rolling moments.
A female neighbor & friend of Neesons sees PBB smashing up Neesons car with a baseball bat . She comes out of her cottage with arms folded and a scowl. PBB confronts the neighbor with another explosion of foul mouthed insults, threats, & a look of utter contempt. The neighbor is quite old and gives PBB more scornful looks and armed with nothing more than a righteous attitude calls PBB a b*tch (she missed out the psychopathic bit) .... ....PBB punches her, knocking her out.
Neeson watches all of this while hidden with his hit-man colleague (who is played with a variable accent by Jack Gleeson from GameOfThrones, who also gets some amusing side-quips but they are too often lost due to poor sound recording & sometimes weak delivery),
The biggest eye roll is possibly the Policeman/Guarda mate of Neesons, who is suspicious but clueless. I wont give away any spoilers, but the ending with the BAG is possibly one of the daftest moments in the entire film,,, well, actually, the lack of people crowding the bar in a full pub is probably the most unbelievable element of this film for those of us who grew up at the time in similar place- maybe the film makers have never had a drink in an actual pub, & imagine they are like wine bars instead ?
Some literary pretentions are woven into the film, to say more would ruin the filmmakers 'joke' at the end.
So (for me) it is actually a marginally better Neeson film of this ilk, while certainly no master piece (or even very good really) , it is one of the few I'd re-watch, preferably with friends to laugh along with the hysteria of the cartoon PBB with Coprolalia.
Killers of the Flower Moon (2023)
misery, masonic manipulations & mundanity
Another bloated, tedious slog of a film that skimps over the important conspiracy occuring and instead dwells on the sight of slw death by poisoning.
I doubt the book is much better, as the story is utterly unbelievable in so many ways.
No- one lives such insular lives in these types of communities, Molly (DeCaprios wife) would have realised what was happening to her & her numerous relatives certainly would. Her entire family have been killed and she just allows the coniving doctors & co to slowly kill her off as well , while no-one steps in to stop it or question if the insulin is doing any good ... unbelievable.
Half the film consists of her morbid facade withering away before us.
The most interesting element of this film (&its catalyst) is how the local Masonic Lodge is connected to the vile deeds occurring- it is touched upon but not in a realistic manner, and the web-work of connections is never properly explored or defined. Te fact that the Indians had their own Lodges & the symbolism is often compatible is never touched on let alone explored.
The events could never have transpired without that network of abuse in influential positions. So, this may be considered a white-wash in more ways than one.
DeCaprio looks uncannily like Brad Dourf in this , with his furry eyebrows & willful chin jutting out... mixed with a bit of Klause Kinski later on. How he can so easily murder folk & yet be presented as a sympathetic protagonist is rather rancid & disingenuous by the film makers- he seems to have almost no morality until near the end of the film.
The direction is ok- the usual from Scorcese these days- some nice touches, but also incredibly predictable and unimaginative... the moment when the old mothers spirit leaves her body has no mystical element to it at all- a bit of dry ice would have improved it immensely
The musical score is possibly the best thing about this film.
Otherwise there is no reason to endure its torturous contents & laborious run-time..
The Creator (2023)
Impressive visuals, shallow, childish story.
There are so many problems with the imagination that devised this story it would take years to properly quantify!
It's all so cliched, yet redundant- fantasies built of false assumptions and naive conceits about cybernetics and 'artificial intelligence' capabilities & construction.
Instead of any valid concerns about ubiquitous technocracy & mechanisation we just get the same old fictional tropes.
Massive hypocrites are never addressed or confronted- what really constitutes a machine & how can it be differentiated from a living being- how does consciousness influence all of this - can mimicry/acting constitute genuine awareness & 'personality' ?
Here the USA are (at war with) anti-simulants/cyborgs, yet they totally rely on cybernetic systems, simulations and AI technology.
.... the Ghost in the Machine is never seriously considered...
this is just more time wasting fodder for addicts of 'spectacles' without substance, and there's nothing wrong with that (well, nothing unusual with it!) - however the story is so bad, manipulative and tediously boring that I don't even recommend it as a 'decent' waste of time.
Why would cyborgs wish to be like humans when they are fundamentally so different from them? The idea is a daft human conceit though endlessly hyped by the media ,and scientists desperate to get funding The reason is primarily propelled for types of slavery- ie manual hard work, sex, processing problem solving/ communication interfaces or other types of interfaces for entertainment. The optimum shape of the most capable cyborgs/robots would be more like an octopus or spider, with the legs of a kangaroo & wings like bees & beatles.
The irony in real life is that technologically reliant people are becoming like damaged machines with limited functions , while the best efforts at making robots like people results in a soulless mimicry of damaged people.
Here the fanciful but stereotypical designs have robots built in humanoid form, with a face slapped on them, but no covering for the rest of the skull (an image directly taken from a panther sci-fi collection from the 1970s (edited, or by Barry Malzberg if I remember correctly). Why bother ? Its all style & no practical function except maybe to induce false empathy & acting facades to fool gullible humans ?
The director certainly has a lot of potential and visual skill (in fields other than writing good stories), I hope he finds a better story to expend his energy & talent on next time, and hopefully spare his audience such a turgid tale as this one is- it adds nothing to anything that has gone before.
AI, SCANNERS, TERMINATOR(s), BLADE RUNNER, WHO? 2001, DEMON SEED, CHANGES children's TV series) Dr. Who & STAR TREK ENTERPRISE & VOYAGER all dealt far better with humanities encroachment & enchantment by technology, and the question of what constitutes conscious life - this film is a poor addition to the great ideas speculative (sci-fi) fiction has produced about this important topic.
There are plenty of great science fiction tales written in the 1950's to 1980's that haven't been plundered yet, maybe it would be worth these modern directors time to read some of them i?
The Killer (2023)
Utter fantasy & a waste of time for everyone
There have been many decent & even great films about assassins/hitmen. Some may be more valid than others- even if not valid they may still be entertaining.
This film is neither valid nor entertaining, it is boring and stupid.
The hitman is inept, narcistic & has verbal diarrhea.
He mopes about throughout the film being cruel, miserable & boring. He quotes Alister Crowley but forgets his name !
This is a portrait of a hitman painted by an infantile mind, with no concept of what would really be involved, and what type of person would do this type of rancid work.
Why would any woman be attracted to the 'hitman' - obviously they wouldn't unless they were paid to be his companion. The sexual hang ups these sad types invariably have is never explored, the main character is unappealing enough so maybe that is a mild benefit.
If this is what passes for entertainment these days then the film industry no-longer knows how to entertain.
I suggest if you want to see a film about assassins watch FULLTIME KILLER with Andy Lau instead, or THE KILLER by John Woo, or Point Blank, The Assassination Bureau, the KILLERS, or even Steven Chows Bodyguard from Beijing etc instead of wasting time on this crud.
Yu mao san xi jin mao shu (1982)
Certainly NOT 'One of Liu Chia-liang's classics'
Liu Chia Liang (Lau Kar-Leung) was one of the greatest ever fight chorographers for film in the entire world, working for over 20 incredible years at Shaw Brothers Studios as an action director ( & acting from 1953).
Most of his early work was for Chang Cheh, usually in collaboration with Tang Chia (Tong Kai) , in 1976 he began directing his own films at Shaws (co-directing (1973)
Breakout from Oppression earlier).
He directs with great style, features suburb fight action & training scenes and often has a more uplifting perspective than Chang Cheh's opera of bloodshed. His Shaw Brothers films were massive hits in Asia & many became 'cult classic' in Europe/UK & the USA, well known to fans of the genre,
Cat vs Rat was always a more obscure title (until the Celestial releases from 2003). I had a shoddy VHS of it with unreadable subtitles and never rated it much when I first watched it. After watching a new HD version recently I can now verify that it is a really terrible film.... & possibly one of the directors worst.
It's full of LAME comedy, tired old tricks we've all grown bored with performed with cringeworthy melodrama and pantomime gurning for the audience. Even younger children will be bored with its slapstick & goofing about, it just isn't interesting & the characters are all naff cartoon cliches.
However, many films after 1978 in HK are marred with inappropriate or unnecessary 'comedy' like this one (while some are still actually hilarious & inventive) and the action scenes can often compensate & transcend such irritations.... tho not in this case...
The fight choreography is over-stated , laborious, and often daft. Many of the moves are predictable. It all so staged & stagey it lacks any real dynamics.
Shaw Brothers films are most often lavish affairs, & this is another very colourful film with outlandish costumes- to the point of garishness.
Despite the strong cast & talents involved this film really is a stinker.
If the comedy bits of Legendary Weapons & My Young Auntie could be 'grating' then this takes that to another level of annoyance. Unlike those two films this one doesn't have the action necessary to compensate for it- it's basically an indulgent waste of time and paycheck project for the director and his pals.
E hu cun (1974)
Under-rated gem with excellent action.
The story is a re-tread of well worn fare among Shaw Brothers product popular from 1967 (ish) to about 1971 when Bruce Lee's popularity changed the style & fashion of these films away from weapons towards more fist & feet Martial arts.
The story is easy to follow, has a good pace & is intriguing without breaking any new ground.
What is exceptional about this is the action , with fast, intricate
& inventive interactions . This is achieved by being slightly under cranked when filming, which became the norm from the early 1980s's... yet this was filmed in 1971 !!! Strangely, it was held back from release for about 3 years.
This is one of Yuan Has best fight showcases (though not his best Acting showcase!)
Other directors helped pioneer this exciting technique , such as Joseph kuos films of the time, and by the early 80's Directors such as Tony lau Jun Guk were pushing it to (& beyond ) its limits. Jackie Chan & Sammo Hung are the best known directors who regularly use this technique. Sammo appears a few times in this, and may be the villain who gets a sword in the head during the Inn Fight ? Jackie Chan also makes a brief appearance as an extra, though you have to look hard to spot him.
This film was very likely where many of the future Golden Harvest stars first met or discussed their forthcoming exodus, as well as certainly during the later ShawBros films of Lo Wei.
The direction is excellent, full of zooms, fades, and top-notch editing. The Direction & Choreography team is one of the best - all the other films by these talent folk are worth checking out-
For me one- of the greatest unsung craftsmen of this genre is Simon Chui Yee-Ngau, a man responsible for the action in many brilliant films, often in collaboration with Chui Chung-Hok.
Tsui Siu-Ming (of Gang Master, Buddhists fist, Holy Robe, Bury Me High etc) is Simon CYN skillful younger brother.
Tien Feng has a brief appearance & is excellent as always as a skilled villain, this time dressed in the red & white 'santa' clothing of the Tartars.
1971 was a golden year for Shaw Brothers & Martial Arts/Action films from Asia. There are at least a dozen film for Shaws that year that all serious fans of the genre should check out , if they haven't already.
This film is certainly one of them, and if it is considered 'average' for the time that average is at a very high standard !
....& Granny Ba is great.....
Xiao shi yi lang (1978)
The heights of Swordplay/WuXia entertainment
If you haven't seen this thoroughly entertaining film before don't read the reviews here- just watch the film. Unless there is something wrong with you , you will probably love it, it's pure edge of the seat entertainment.
This (in many ways typical of his style at the time) Chor yuen film is an incredibly creative, action packed, funny & bizarre masterpiece of 'Chinese Mythological fantasy'.
The set designs are beautiful as always with his films- elaborate & otherworldly. The direction is involved,involving and often sublime. Its incredible to consider that this was nearly Chor Yuens 100th film in the first 20 years of his career !
The story is a rocker, a non stop adventure or betrayals, confrontations & conniving; with desire, love, jealousy & megalomania all part of the ingredients. The less you know about it before hand the better, it's easy to follow without being at simplistic. Some of these tales can be a bit too convoluted & confounding, and this manages to evade those pitfalls.
The acting her is a pure joy to watch, everyone is on top form, the interactions between TiLung & 'Lady Feng' (Lilly Li) being particularly memorable & amusing. The cheeky ,yet evil Candy Wen Xue-Er also excels.
This is easily one of Chor Yuens (& the genres) best films, with plentiful and excellent action by his usual collaborator (& LuiChiaLiangs old sidekick) Tang Chia -who Choreographed about 200 films between 1962 to 1984).
It's more lighter hearted than some of these tales, yet still quite brutal,and while less entangled in the typical WuXia convolutions it is also incredibly inventive.
I would however recommend watching other Chor Yuen films before this one if you are not familiar with the WuXia genre or his other films- its worth leading up to it and more fully appreciating how it uses & plays with genre conventions & expectations.
He made many gems before this film, many also starring Ti Lung including 'The Magic Blade' & its excellent sequel 'Pursuit' of Vengeance, 'The Sentimental Swordsman', the unmissable 'Clans of Intrigue'. & superb 'Jade Tiger' & 'Death Duel' (tho Ti Lung isn't the star of the later) .
After Swordsman & Enchantress they also made the underrated 'The Emperor and His Brother' & 'Roving Swordsman', The brilliant sequel to Sentimental Swordsman- 'Return Of..' and a handful of other less successful ventures.
Kozure Ôkami: Sono chîsaki te ni (1993)
One of 'samurai cinemas' greatest disappointments
The 6 Lone Wolf & Cub films are all utterly brilliant, as is the TV series of 3 seasons.
The composite Shogun Assassin film is incredible if you've not seen the Japanese releases (& should be seen 1st if you are unfamiliar with the films).
The Manga series is one of the greatest comics ever written & drawn.
Then there is is this disrespectful & dull 'updating' . Updating must mean downgrading & devolution- it retains virtually none of the charm, ingenuity & dynamics of any of its predecessors.
There's some good acting & bits of music, but the complete character change of the main protagonist destroys any affinity this film claims to have with its inspirational source material.
Of course all of us who love the other versions will still want to see this version , however bad it is. While other more interesting & successful films by Kazuo Koike deserve attention ,such as Bohachi Bushido: The Villain .Demon Spies ,and the much later The Princess Blade.