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Zachowaj spokój (2022)
Absolutely the worst foreign language netflix show yet
And that is saying something. There have been some shockers but this lame attempt to depict Poles overstriving to come across as amerikans really takes the prize.
Anyone who has spent any time in Poland will see how lame this show is.
Even worse than the materialism of the characters, the characters try to behave as stupidly as they imagine amerikans to think.
Parents who are far too old to have forgotten their society don't talk to their children they spy upon them, the result of this screwed up mishmash manages to avoid any sense of reality. Whoever did the make-up needs to learn not to accentuate every pock mark on actor's faces.
Lame sad & stupid.
The Electric Man (2022)
Typical vanity production
Yep here we go again someone with too many dollars and not enough sense has made a movie, unfortunately they didn't have enough for a capable scriptwriter, competent director or actors capable of expressing anything other than a shout to indicate anger.
Even Eric 'where's my paycheck' Roberts also succumbs to that failing.
Why oh why do these dingbats do this instead of parking their egos and investing in the huge range of whatchamacallit, talent, currently littering the planet who are able to write, direct or act in a great movie if only they had the dollars to realise their goal.
Don't believe the spruikers who have posted reviews outta either care for their friends who made this turkey or the dollars whatever rich fool who funded it paid them.
This movie fails on every aspect of film-making. In fact its a damn shame the DP remembered to remove the lens cap.
Proximity (2020)
An appalling conceit
The god botherers have had a damn good go at wrecking rock, country music which has often been subjected to monotheistic drivel was tolerable once the superstitious tried & failed to force others around to their point of view, but trying to exploit scifi, a medium which has always encouraged free thinking, to toe the xtian line in the way "Proximity" has, is truly beyond the pale.
The anthropomorphic conceit of claiming an alien species would travel thousands of light years in search of a 'god' which eschewed their form in favour of a race of less technologically developed, less intelligent & much less capable earthling species is laughable. IE If humans are made in the imge of their god why does the god have a chest designed to hold a pair of lungs? God is omnipotent surely he/she doesn't need to process oxygen.
The movie is clunkily, poorly produced but just tolerable until the writer decides to ditch the fine history of rational thinking - the hallmark of SciFi ,in favour of superstition.
This movie is far more akin to a poorly rendered swords & sorcery movie than a SciFi flick.
You have been warned.
Wellington Paranormal (2018)
Dry, Droll & FAF
This domestic comedy Wellington Paranormal, unlike some of the more traveled kiwi comedies makes no attempt to mainstream the humour for foreigners who simply can't get it - humourously or on their TV screens as it has been made for domestic consumption through local network TV.
That kind of makes me wonder about where all the foreign critiques which don't get the show - why would they they are too busy being exceptional or whatever they do, are watching Wellington Paranormal?
This is FAF but there's no explaining coppers who don't get off on waving guns in poor people's faces to viewers from somewhere that seems to be about all their police do.
The addition of Maaka Pohatu as the dedicated, all too humane tangata whenua Sergeant Maaka balances the humour realistically in a manner that makes trying to explain this show to non-Aotearoans a fruitless endeavour.
Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017)
Worst yet
I have just returned from watching this overly long nonsense and am surprised at the rating it has been given thus far. I suppose the stars wars desperates are the most likely to respond early in the movies season and many of them click 10 as soon as the yellow test spools.
There have been some ordinary uneccessarily convoluted Star Wars flicks over the years but this one is a whole new order of tedium, none of the characters came across in a way that inspired me to care two figs about what they did or whether they lived or died. Even worse I cannot thing of a single scene where the eventual outcome wasn't patently obvious from the get go.
I won't induge the spoiler queens by being more specific if you watch this mess you will understand..
As for the soundtrack that trumpet riff that accompanies everything Star Wars has gotten really old. Props to John Williams for building a career around one riff n all but doncha think you owe it to the rest of us; who after all have funded your luxurious life, to give us a break from more of the same old same old? If I never hear another trumpet sound I will be happy, I used to love brass too,
The wannabe jedis will love this of course but for the rest of humanity what is it about 2017 which made Hollywood decide that cranking out so many badly plotted turkeys overflowing with nonsensical & hackneyed dialog would all that was necessary to keep us all entertained?
Big mistake as the receipts for this disaster year reveals.
Good Time (2017)
Great but. . . .
But I confess to quitting this movie just shy of the halfway point because I found it too depressing & disturbing to watch. Maybe I made a bad call and am wrong about the likelihood that the battlers will lose in most ways possible (except perhaps their affection and trust for each other) but because this movie was well made & realistically scripted I became drawn into the story, so I decided that the odds were not great that I was likely to see anything 'uplifting'.
Another day, a different mood maybe
There is a reason successful heist movies are box office catnip and it isn't that we're all closet thieves. I reckon it is because in most versions of this trope the story's predication is unrealistic, the audience views a tale set in an alternate reality where normal decent people can win. Win at the expense of the greedies who normally defeat us.
So since "Good Time" as a heist movie handicapped by reality, appeared unlikely to do more than heighten an already well developed sense of injustice, I quit as I'm not an adherent of the "just face reality" as a carrot for revolution.
The Panic in Needle Park (1971)
Panic returns yet again
I remember watching this movie shortly after release. It was screening in a Sunday night double feature with another druggie movie the title of which is lost in the mists of time "Reefer Madness" maybe. The theatre which was jam-packed with gazillions of 1970's ne'er do wells was had an atmosphere more redolent of a rock festival than a movie screening. I remember the scene well simply because Panic demonstrated two 'qualities' that Hollywood took to heart. Firstly that this movie which was one of the first films exclusively devoted to contemporaneous drug culture made a lot of money and a new genre was born. The second was that "Panic" featured a lot of tropes about the evil and general inhumanity of heroin addicts that are still Hollywood standard issue despite the fact they are clichés. Few movie or TV makers question those tropes even though they are wrong. e.g. A junkie will sell his mother to cop a blast and all junkies are snitches with no sense of honour who never tell the truth.
If anyone reads this review there is about a 99% chance what is written here will not penetrate their indoctrination.