TheCrowing13 Reviews

'Halloween': A Cut Above the Rest (2003 TV Movie)

A great film, deserves a great documentary...

[10/10 · 5 January 2009]

Halloween is a horror classic, with a great cast, perfect villain, and one of the most recognized horror scores in history. This documentary starts from the bare beginning, giving the development of the entire project. Not one detail seems to be left out. It's not too long nor too short. It gives great incite on the film explaining all the little things us fan-boys wanna know, such as wtf is Michael Myers mask from, and tiny things like how certain scenes were set up and constructed. I can't really find anything to nit-pick about this doc. So I'll keep this short saying it's worth watching and I don't think there's a version of the film without this doc. 10/10

Zombies of Mora Tau (1957)

Thank Hollywood for Zombies

[3/10 · 5 January 2009]

Any zombie film is a blast to watch, there is just something about them that is so cool. Well the film starts out in Africa were a young girl goes off to live with her grandmother. At the same time treasure hunters are searching for a lost treasure. The zombies come in as previous treasure searchers searching for the treasure, who were cursed when they failed. So the zombies are below average but the fact that they're zombies, is the only reason it doesn't completely suck. The acting is average, and the story is above average interesting.

All the ridiculous stereotypes are included, fear of fire, walking under water, the usual. It's not a horrible film just poor, but if you love Zombies it's perfect for you. 3/10

Halloween 4: Final Cut (2001 Video)

17 Min!

[6/10 · 5 January 2009]

I know a lot of people don't like lengthy films or documentaries but when I buy a special edition of a Halloween 4 I want a little more. At least 30 min. Now a lot is explained in this documentary but it's nothing like Halloween's 25th anniversary edition final cut. A good anything can be lengthy and not put you to sleep and keep your attention. and that is the whole problem here, a film with such a huge fan base I owes their fans more then a few 17 min behind the scenes. It's quite hard to give a documentary a full 10 stars, for it ought to be flawless. None the less this isn't worth buying the special Divimax Edition of the film for. 6/10

Family Guy: A Fish Out of Water (2001) Season 3, Episode 10

A let down...

[6/10 · 5 January 2009]

This is one of "those" episodes of family guy that is on the lower end of this comedic series. There's really nothing wrong with the story of the episode, it's just the fact it's simply not funny. I was left disappointed, considering most of the previous episodes were hilarious. I hate comparing episodes or films, but standing alone this episode still isn't that funny. I've watched it a few times as well not back to back but over a long span of time and simply can't really enjoy this episode.

Peter ends up buying a boat to get a new job, but can't afford to pay back a loan for 50,000 dollars. He decides to try to kill Daggermouth, the jaws rip off of a killer fish. The whole episode builds up to the climax but lets you down. i know it's not an action show but FG has done hilarious fighting scenes between characters, which is what I was expecting. Overall 6/10

The Legend of the Wolf Woman (1976)

Naked Werewolf

[3/10 · 4 January 2009]

First thing I noticed in this movie of course, was the unnecessary amount of nudity. It's not oozing nudity or anything, but a lot that was not needed. Annik Borel plays a disturbed woman believing her families ghost stories that her ancestor who eerily resembles her was a werewolf, and believes their fate are destined to be the same. Which actually I found quite interesting. The original Wolf Man was intended to be a completely psychological movie, but Universal threw in the actual Wolf man you were never supposed to see for n extra buck or two. I find this concept of someone not really being a werewolf interesting. Unfortunately this is not the film I was searching for.

Instead we know shes not a werewolf from the beginning, so there's no thrill or twist, also they attempt to make the film seem like a this really happened scenario. They fail there too adding one or two parts of the film referring to this being reality. At first I was excited upon reading the description of the film. But I slowly realized it was a cover just so they could expose the main characters breasts as often as possible.

Annik Borel is either a decent actor playing a great psychotic role, or a really bad actor playing a psychotic role. Since the character Danniele has no brains and is just a nut who runs around insane and snarling and snapping like a wolf, it takes little skill to play. She has moments were her performance breaks through for a creepy moment but is quickly ruined by the poor camera work and light. The idea is great, but hideously executed throughout the film. 3/10

Warriors of the Wasteland (1983)

Warriors of the Mad Max rip off...

[3/10 · 4 January 2009]

At first glance this film looks like a direct rip-off to "Mad Max", well it is but it has potential. It's a straight up action film not meant to be thought about, just accept the unacceptable. There is no depth at all with the story I feel very lost in how this new post-apocalyptic world came to be.

Like any other action flick one guy or a small group off them attempt to take out an army of foes after a huge tie/losing street before the climax,just like this movie. The weapons and gadgets of the film are interesting and creative a bit ridiculous but it's whatever. I just wish they spent more time explaining the characters background and what the details of this new Earth after a nuclear holocaust. Again I will say nothing is given we don't even know when it happened. All we know is now and here. None of the laser guns or bulbed cars or exploding arrows are looked at in detail.

The real treat of the film though is the action most of the scenes look phony, but are oh-so-entertaining to watch. From faces being burned of, to people being run over, to exploding heads, and decapitation the movie keeps it's variety trying to keep each explosion or shot fired interesting and new. Of course this is failed by over use of the exploding arrows.

I'm a musician so music in film is very very important to me. I read about the score for this film being new and interesting, but it's anything but. The electronica and drum beats are repeated so often I thought the DVD was skipping. But if your just looking for an action flick, and willing to put aside story, acting, and other key elements, I suggest this to anyone. 4/10

30 Days of Night (2007)

I didn't know Vampires screeched like a pterodactyl...

[6/10 · 4 January 2009]

30 Days of Night was originally a graphic novel(big comic book) written by Steve Niles and Illistrated by Ben Templesmith. The novel is a masterpiece, so much for the film. I look at all movies as movies, making this one no exception. I'm not comparing it to it's literary counterpart one bit.

The story takes place in Alaska were a series of bizarre crimes are being committed during the last day of daylight. There is a small sub-plot between the two main characters Eben the sheriff of Barrow Alaska, and Stella Olsen of the fire department. A break up has just occurred or something, but it doesn't really affect the story too much. Well vampires start arriving and the citizens of Barrow must survive 30 days in the dark while blood sucking vampires roam outside. The plot is interesting as the characters hide to survive, being stuck with a crazy old man, and other issues such as enough food and water.

Josh Harnett gives a ridiculous performance and I did not enjoy at all compared to his other movies. The ending is interesting and touching in a sort of way. The vampires are the real treat though. 30 Days of Night makes the vampire scary again with excellent performances and a just plain creepy look to them, they leave a shocking effect. The film has quite a lot of depth for a horror - action film. The back-story for the creepies is vaguely displayed but it's enough to interest. If you pay attention to any made-up language in a film, there is always depth. In this "Vampire Tongue", God is said as "gah" and lots of tick sounds are in there accent. A great film eh, but a good Vampire movie, yes!6/10

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)

Such a let down...

[5/10 · 4 January 2009]

I was so impressed with the "Halloween" series before this movie. (Excluding three) They had kept up being great horror films unlike it's peers. The first thing that gets me from the beginning is why the hell would someone keep Michael's body in their cabin for an entire year, until next Halloween. He should have awakened right when he was found and Halloween 5 should have stuck to the style of Halloween 2 tieing in to a direct sequel to the film. Not waiting a year sitting in someones cabin. The characters that made #4 great are killed off, Rachel is one, but the character that takes her place is a little too real. Tina is the new guardian figure of Jamie, and is just as real feeling as Rachel, but to an annoying point. This is made sure you understand what kind of person she is by the moment she is introduced. Danielle Harris's performance in the previous film was surprisingly good. Being a child actress, I don't blame her for her ridiculous performance in #5. I blame whoever was telling her what to do. Half the film her role is silent, which will be explained why later. She still has her moments in the film. Now the film isn't all bad, like 4's rooftop chase scene 5 has the laundry pit scene. It's the same formula as the rooftop chase scene and has the same edge of your seat effect. This chapter of the "Halloween" franchise, really brings in the supernatural element to Michael. Has he has a psychic relationship with his niece Jamie,(hence the end of #4) and since he appears to be mute, Jamie is too. I suppose this film could be watch by mainstream audiences but I only recommend for fans of the genre of are looking to get into it. 5/10

First Person Shooter Sequence (2006 Video)

A Tribute to the classic game.

[6/10 · 3 January 2009]

We all know making films is hard work, but did we really anticipate it being like this. This short documentary describes the painstaking process of bringing the 5 min first person shooter sequence to life. (Best part in the movie) Explaining the computer graphics of how this sequence is put together with the different style of cuts and variation in action effects to keep our attention. It is incredibly informative, but being to short. Truly the documentary is only 6 min long because the first person shooter sequence is 5 min out of the whole thing. So it leaves you wanting much much more. Underestimating the effort put in to film this one sequence, it helps bring the difficult process of film making to a new audience and/or generation.

Atomic Rulers (1965 TV Movie)

Go Starman! Go! Go! Go!

[2/10 · 3 January 2009]

Honestly I enjoyed this movie. It was great fun to watch, but I still have the common sense that it's a piece of crap. This original Japanese superhero made exclusively for this film, is the most ridiculous idea ever. The movie takes place in 1964 japan with an alien race attempting to rule the planet earth. A nearby alien race, notices the nuclear yes nuclear threat from the other alien species. So they send their mightiest warrior of peace... Starman! to save the human race. They hand him some device that permits him to fly and understand human languages and stuff like that. The name is lame, so are his powers and special effects of the movie, but that's what makes it so great. Still the acting is terrible and the dubbing does'nt help. I received the film in a 50 movie pack so I really had no other way to watch the film. I doubt it would have been much better. There are a lot of fighting sequences all poorly done. The film has an anti-nuclear feel which keeps it from feeling really out-dated. The film's hero reminds me of Gamera just without the saber teeth, fire breath, hunger for fire, and rocket propulsion flight out of his shell. I guess it's the whole fact that he's a friend of all children. Which I guess makes it more of a kids film now-a-days but it was placed in a film pack with a label that says, For Mature Audiences. If your looking for a movie to laugh at this one is preferably your best bet. 2/10

The Curse of the Komodo (2004)

Curse of the B-Movie!

[2/10 · 3 January 2009]

My lord, who made this film. I don't understand if people want to make a low budget T.V. monster movie, why don't they show more monsters. There isn't enough in this film. They all focus on the humans acts to escape, which no one cares about. I'm not surprised that bout 3/4th's of this cast has most likely appeared in a porno. The only interesting thing I thought was amazing, were the random zombies that are thrown in as a side effect to the komodo's saliva. Lame? or super-amazing? hey there zombies can't get much cooler then that. The story is simple. People want to solve world hunger, government gets interested and gives them a komodo(s). They get big and eat people. Well a group of criminals are thrown in for a sub-plot that lasts around 30 sec. None of the actors are interesting and I often confuse this movie with "Komodo vs. Cobra", which is literally th exact same story but with cobras thrown in too. Special effects are average for a T.V. movie but I still feel they should be much better for the year the film was made. I swear this film was a porno but all the sex was removed and they kept one nude scene in then added more pointless dialog. 2/10

Pumpkinhead (1988)

Here comes Pumpkinhead!

[7/10 · 3 January 2009]

It's disappointing that this film was given a limited release. It's truly a horror masterpiece. Mr. Lance gives another outstanding performance as pumpkinheads human bound victim. Besides being a monster flick, the movie has a much much deeper level of understanding. A man's son is killed accidentally by a group of city tourists. He conjures up the horror known only as pumpkinhead and seeks revenge. Pumpy kills of the teens one by one but each one killed his summoner feels his victims pain. But when he is harmed Pumpkinhead feels it and is harmed by it. The creepy set designs are amazing. Such as the witches cabin and Pumpkinhead's resting place. His gravesite displays that many more people before him have looked for Pumpy, and the ground around him is all dug up and his grave is elevated bout 6 feet of the ground like a shirne. One scene which really impacted me was when the little boy who had passed away was lying in the car seat next to his dad. When he stops his car the boy rises up and simply asks, "What are you doing dad?" Which really hit me. Lance's character soon realizes his mistake and slowly unravels the secret to kill the dreaded Pumpkinhead! With a very well written script, and amazing anamtronic work by Stan Winston studios, it's a shame Stan Winston's Directoral debut is so poorly received. With his passing away I believe though that more and more people are realizing this classic monster bash! 7/10

Beast of the Yellow Night (1971)

The infamous inner-struggle with an alter ego...

[3/10 · 3 January 2009]

"The Beast of the Yellow Night" is nothing more then your average shape-shifter film. Barrowing ideas from classic werewolf style movies, A man is staring death in the face, but has an opportunity to live once again. He has a visit from Satan himself, and makes a deal to sell him his soul for life. Now the Devil's slave he must find new followers for his new master. Unfortunately this is done by transforming into a hairy green beast. (who reminds me of the aliens in Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla) As he returns to his normal life he begins the well known inner struggle with his alter form. But unlike most films that do this there is very little struggle, he sort of goes into this depression where he just wants to die, and doesn't care about his life. Such as when he awakens from a transformation and simply walks around town with a blood stained shirt. I found this idea interesting as I've never noticed this element so vividly put in a film like this. The acting is of course poor, but what really upsets is the transformation. There's only one, at the very end of the movie, which is done in such an outdated fashion, that was done better in the 40s. Lighting problems occurred often and it was difficult to see characters faces, this helped with the beast's imagery, but fails when applying it to normal characters. The representation of Satan though in my opinion is decently done. He doesn't necessarily have a solid state he stays in the whole film. He alters from a man, to a sort of brown mist form. The mist forms around animals and such in some scenes, applying Satan is every where, and him no necessarily be the snake or lion we think him to be. With absolutely no sub-plots or anything close and holes in the story, the film is really affected. 3/10

The Alpha Incident (1978)

I really related.

[2/10 · 3 January 2009]

When I say I really related to this film, I mean by I felt how the characters did about 50 min in, bored. I was utterly pulling my brains out, just like the one, ONE gore scene in the whole film. Watching it reminded me of "George A. Romero's Night of the Living Dead" upon reaming other people's responses to the film I see it is a common noticeable. Unlike most films depicting a group of people stuck in a room together there is no developing plot. There is little action/twists in the story. None of the characters appealed to me since they all seemed to have the intelligence of 10 year olds. The Story is simple a man decides to take a look at some crates he has no business looking into but does so, getting his dumb ass infected. Once the owner of the boxes finds out he quarantines himself and 4 other people possibly infected. Although he is the only guard the other members have many chances to escape, it's so not realistic it can't even work in this style of film. I was only entertained for a couple scenes in the film, one in particular is the death scene of a character from the virus. At first it's disappointing but then escalates to a great gore scene. Still this doesn't make up for all the other errors in the film. 2/10

Dungeons & Dragons (2000)

D&D - Damn Disaster

[2/10 · 3 January 2009]

I realize I'm not the only one who thought this movie was atrocious. and I'm not even a D&D fan. I was hoping to watch a fantasy film with an epic story and lovable characters, what I got was any thing but. Jerremy Irons gives a ridiculous performance. I never believed this guy won an Oscar after seeing the movie. What was really upsetting me the most is the horrible props. everything just looks like a 12 year old built it in his basement. The films not really epic at all, to be based off a game about monsters, there's very few. 2 species of dragons, a harpy of some kind (resembling the one from Sinbad) and a sort of terd looking thing with eyeballs. Out of all the tings to pick in the D&D universe. There is one thing decent about his film though, and its Marlon Wayans acting. Even in the most terrible of movies, he seems to add some humor to the film. Besides his part the acting and wrighting is crap. Even the so called "Epic" battle scene between the two dragons at the end isn't satisfying, you see very little of what is going on and the fighting scenes even disappoint too. I was hoping the thieves maze would offer some decent entertainment but again the film fails. No D&D or anyone as a matter of fact I can picture enjoying this movie other then someone with the mind of a 5 year old. 2/10

Call of Duty 2 (2005 Video Game)

Just another WW2 Shooter... I think not!

[8/10 · 3 January 2009]

All I can say is wow! WW2 games were really starting to get old at this point. Do you really wanna storm Normandy Beach on D-Day once again? Hell Yeah! The graphics are incredible the lighting effects make for an amazing experience, but it is still a FPS, (First Person Shooter) like any it becomes somewhat repetitive wishing levels were over much before they are. The game makes up for this in it's difficulty the notorious veteran mode had me stumped on the game for almost 2 and 1/2 months. Not that you'll want to replay the game anytime after you beat it for the first time. It needs a good 6th month break before picking it up again. The partial reason this game seems so great is that it takes a well know genre and steps it up a few notches. It is an improvement for its' predecessor and the genre in general. 8/10

The Werewolf (1956)

Poor Werewolf...

[4/10 · 3 January 2009]

I purchased this movie expecting it to be half-ass considering I bought it in the Sam Katzman's producers pack. I was surprised to find an interesting film in which a sympathetic character is cursed well...(I don't want to spoil the movie at all) I was enjoying the film until about 50 or 60 min into it, at that point I wanted the story to move along the film spends a lot of time wandering in the hunt to find this abomination. Which you never really see much of, this is the kind of monster movie were the creature needs to be seen early in a spectacular way. This does not happen here, you don't even witness a transformation occurring, the real let down. I was still surprised how much i felt pity on the main character and wanted him to become cure. The film still didn't do it for me though when I start looking at the clock during a movie, it's not getting anything above 5 stars. 4/10

Quake II (1997 Video Game)

Old and Out Dated...

[6/10 · 3 January 2009]

It's a sad thing that classic games such as these get outdated. Unlike some movies video games rely 100 percent on technology, therefore the older they are the worse they seem to get. For the time the game is wonderful almost perfect but now it feels undated. Elements that are key now-a-days have a story for one, and variety for two. The game just has you running around opening doors and shooting everything that moves. It's still a lot of fun but I could only handle it in tiny doses. I suppose I am being unfair but it's all true. For the time I'm sure this game was the cream of the crop, but by todays standards it does not meet in my book. I would still recommend this game to anyone though it's quite the shoot em' up fest, every gamer loves. 6/10

Evil Dead: A Fistful of Boomstick (2003 Video Game)

Where's my Boomstick?

[5/10 · 3 January 2009]

First off if you haven't seen any of the "Evil Dead" films, it is an almost must before playing. I feel as if I am being harsh giving this game only 5 stars. Perhaps it's the fact the game is 4 or 5 years old. The game is short to start with and each level has pretty much the same layout with exceptions for a few. It wields a repetitive feel after about an hour of playing straight. Each level has you chasing objectives around a map, backtracking and making you feel as if you've done the objective a few times before. The humor is a little dry, but still clever at times allowing for a chuckle here and there. Accompanied by great voice acting by Bruce Campbell. The story is an average Evil Dead story should be nothing really that special. There's a total of three bosses in the game that are incredibly easy to defeat. The creppies in the game are cool but there isn't much of a variety. They range from deadites (Zombies in the Evil Dead Universe) and bigger bulkier troll like guys. Each with different sets of attacks and costumes for the deadites. The weapons and combat system is choppy but works nicely with the gameplay style. From shovels to gattling guns, Ash is armed to the bone with an arsenal large enough to stop a deadite army in it's tracks. I still feel the game lacks a few key elements, but don't get me wrong the game is pretty fun but I would only suggest it to fans of the series, like myself or survival horror fans. 5/10