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The Poughkeepsie Tapes (2007)
A surprisingly good little film
I was quite impressed with this film and definitely think it's worth a watch.
It is low budget and in some instances the acting isn't stellar and occasionally some of the really dark sequences make it a bit too dark to see what is going on - normally this works fine as it makes your imagination do a lot of the work, but in one or two cases I really would have liked it a little brighter just so I could follow what was happening (mainly involving the killer moving and I didn't fully catch exactly what he was doing.) This is however a fairly minor gripe and I enjoyed the film and found it pretty engrossing.
As many people have noted, the standout parts of the film involve the gradual breakdown and degradation of the Cheryl Dempsey character and the Master/Slave relationship that develops between herself and the killer. It was a surprisingly effective story and I don't think the film would be anywhere near as good without it.
For the most part I like that the vast majority of the killers motives and so on go completely unexplained (though it does lead me on to one of my gripes later on). One of the FBI profilers offers some conjecture as to what might have driven the killer to do these ghastly murders but that is about it. The film also does a pretty good job of making you dislike the killer (some of the stuff he does is pretty awful and sadistic) and wanting background that is never provided - in most cases this works well as it makes the viewer feel the same level of exasperation as the authorities.
That said....
there were a few things that didn't work for me -almost all of them mechanical/technical details.
1.) There is too much emphasis on how awesomely great the killer is. By this I mean things like not a single finger print being found at the house, etc didn't work for me. I began to wonder at one point if they were building toward a superhuman/supernatural angle and it did spoil some of my suspension of disbelief.
2.) Partially tying in with the above point - the whole James Foley storyline. i seriously think this entire thing could be cut form the film and it would make the film a lot better. For starters, it only serves to make the killers skills laughably good rather than intimidating (the whole taking his sperm donations from a fertility clinic......I guess it's not impossible but I found the level of planning/resources and time involved in the frame job so ludicrously unlikely that I think the film suffers for it).
Secondly, given that the killer actually approaches Cheryl Dempsey's mother and she becomes aware that he is the killer before he leaves just makes the whole Foley angle even more ridiculous. If Mrs Dempsey has met the killer then unless he was masked/heavily disguised (which would be rather odd at a crime scene) then she must have known enough to know that Foley was not the killer (I don't think she comments on the Foley angle at all in the film). I certainly think she would know enough to help narrow down some of the profiling issues the authorities have been having, unless the killer actually looks like Foley, but even then, that's a pretty good lead. No, for me the Foley angle weakens the film considerably.
3.) While I realise that a lot of stuff goes unexplained in this (and as I mentioned above this is mostly actually a positive thing) I think at least some hint of a reason as to why the killer chooses Cheryl to be his "Slave" rather than a victim would have been good.
Beyond that though it is a good film and I would recommend watching it.
WrestleMania IX (1993)
Godawful mess but things get better
I watched this back earlier today. I believe the last time I watched it was 1994. Time has not been kind.
First and foremost while the outdoor setting and Roman Colosseum theme are quite cool but it's all papering over the cracks-the venue is rather small, which it has to be as the attendance was under 17,000. Also, the booking was terrible. Granted, WWF was struggling somewhat at the time, but given the high status the 'mania should have, some of the participants are shocking. The commentary really saves it and makes each match far more enjoyable than it actually is. Coming to this fresh for the first time in over a decade I was astounded by how bad things must have been for the WWF. Crush vs Doink the clown. Read that back and savour it. Not to belittle either performer (as they were good enough performers in their time) but they were on the mid card of Wrestlemania! The whole sordid mess is capped by Hogan's massive ego stroke. Bret Hart dropped the belt to Yokozuna in a not too shabby match, and Hogan, with his backstage politicking, won't leave it at that. Oh no. That's not good enough for Bollea, who comes out and defeats Yoko in 30 seconds and bags another title reign which he clearly felt he needed to have for the, oooh perhaps 5 minutes, maybe 10 before leaving WWF. Frankly, it pisses on the effort and reputation of Bret and Yoko and really didn't need to happen.
More positive things in evidence were a genuinely solid 20 minute opening match (no, really, 20 mins! For an opener!) between Shawn Michaels and Tatanka, and the Steiners had a pretty good match. Also as mentioned, Jim Ross (debuting for the WWF) Heenan and the Macho Man on commentary is a laugh riot.
In summary: Lacklustre card
Absolutely disgusting finish
Flat and rather small crowd
And an absolute shocker of a match with 'taker and Giant Gonzalez -granted, Taker was hardly a top performer back then in terms of work rate and consistency but still, this match stunk to high heaven. Proof that Vince's obsession with big guys could actively hurt his promotion.
Just a general bad "feel" to the whole thing. It just didn't feel at any point during watching it that it had that big-event mania magic.
Overall the worst thing you can say about WM 9 is that you could skip it and not really miss anything. Even the other poor manias generally had at least one or two matches that were worth catching. This had Great commentary and Shawn Michaels in his midcarder days showing glimpses of the performer he would become and that's just not a good enough reason to bother with this. The only real good points are that this was the lowest point in the history of 'Manias and things would pick up. If you are having a marathon few weeks of watching all the manias sequentially, take heart, you are just 8 away from X-7!
On the other hand I could well see this achieving 7 stars if viewed with alcohol and friends!
The Slaughterhouse Massacre (2005)
Appallingly bad.
I would like to begin by saying that the above score is fully taking into account the low budget and host of other things that obviously can impact on the quality of a film. I am not bashing on it for being low budget (I enjoy far too many low budget films for that to be the case) I am bashing it for being awful. Things begin rather badly - Wafer thin characterisation is clearly going to be what damages this film far more than its budget. It would have been one thing if the people making this had decided to make a cheap, dumb slasher flick-lack of budget and effects being made up for by inventive killings. You don't even get that. I don't know if the cut aways before each murder are due to lack of budget or because it was felt that the effect would be heightened but in any case its poor. Arguably the best things about this film are the beginning - which stops just about short of a soft-core porn scene- and the final survivor running around in her pants at the end. Now, the fact that I am typing this and you are reading this means we both have access to the Internet and therefore enough porn to satisfy even the most jaded pervert. As such, a pair of reasonably attractive girls wearing very little just isn't enough to save the feeblest slasher action in living memory. I can only assume that the makers of this POS knew how awful the film was as the first and last sequences seem to involve jiggling bosoms rather than the full on horror masterpiece the blurb on the box was promising.
In a world where films such as Kevin Smiths Clerks can be made for a good $20 k less than this, cries of "but its so low budget" must surely fall on deaf ears.
Golden Ninja Warrior (1986)
I am astounded
Well. Where can one begin? This film is not a film in the conventional sense. By estimate anywhere up to 1/3 or a half of this film is made up of stock footage and sequences from other films. Okay so it was a cheap 1980's crappy action flick but even so! Ed Wood may have gotten away with that sort of thing, but I call shenanigans! The result is a "movie" (in as much as, yes, the pictures on the screen move, but you'll wish they wouldn't!) that seems to be the result of the director/editors throwing random sections of fight scene footage at the screen in much the same way a simian slings it's faeces at its cage wall. The good thing is it is just as amusing to watch as that! It is totally devoid of plot, lacks even vestigal artistic merit, and due to the confusing and totally random nature of how it skips from scene to scene I daresay there are some people out there who think it contains some sort of message or is doing something subtle and Lynch-ian. It isn't. It's a garbled, confusing mess that barely qualifies as a film. This doesn't stop it being utterly hilarious and perfect for watching with a few drinks and mates to rip it to pieces.
The above score is the rating for it as a film. It gets 2 stars because a) it didn't let me put in half marks and b) Nothing is as bad as "The Killing Edge". If you want a rating based on sheer (if unintentional) hilarity then go and tack another 3 stars on the end!
The Killing Edge (1984)
The worst thing I have ever seen.
This is a truly terrible film, that frankly doesn't need to exist. The basic premise was reasonably interesting, being set in Britain and about a normal guy, after some sort of nuclear war. Unfortuneatly the entire thing devolves into a putrid mess of cliché, and a teddy bear that acts everyone else in this pile of drek off the screen. Teds performance is a tour de force compared to all the human actors. I don't want my money back, so much as I would rather pay more money to ensure no one involved in this project ever worked in film again. Quite frankly, insulting. If I had my way, Every copy of this film would be melted down and the plastic used to do something useful, though the aura of fail surrounding the film would doubtless taint whatever product was made with it, possibly compelling all within a hundred feet to use stilted dialogue and be utterly unconvincing-I was very aware I was watching a film at all times, and an awful film at that. I can only hope my words can express even a fraction of the horror that is watching this. Though you may get a giggle out of Ted.