dathaler Reviews

Colma: The Musical (2006)

Deeply, DEEPLY unimportant, but still fun!

[8/10 · 1 July 2007]

OK, as a Bay Area resident (albeit a transplant) and indie film maven, I couldn't stay away from seeing this film. I'm considerably older than the characters and I didn't grow up in the Bay Area so I didn't relate to the story (or maybe it was just the mediocre acting, which was overshadowed by the excellent singing). Still, I thought this movie was a guilty pleasure, kinda like your favorite Mexican restaurant or greasy spoon--you know you shouldn't, but you're glad you did.

Part of what makes this film fun is its foray into camp. Some of the musical numbers were just too over the top. Billy's musical declaration of love for "Tara" would have been sweet were it not for the two guys in the background scaling the facades of the buildings and each other. The real topper is where Tara releases the band holding her hair back so the breeze'll catch it--except she's got short hair and it hardly works. It's hard to take this seriously, particularly when you realize that Billy and Tara first met at a party where Tara's operatic "Is someone in the bathroom?" is responded to by Billy's "I'm taking a sh!!!!!!!t." The camp factor is equally present in the songs we see during the performance of "Friend Joseph" (some sorta spin-off of "Pal Joey"?), a show in which Billy performs. It's just "quirky quirky quirky, so damn quirky, quirky quirky...."

I guess it's a bit of a cinematic love letter to the area--there's even a shot of Maribel reading a book nearly every San Franciscan will recognize. I was at a screening that was followed by a Q&A with the director and one of the cast--there's a sequel in the offing if this is well-received. For some reason, I can't wait to see it. :-)

The Torch (1950)

Yawn!!!

[1/10 · 27 November 2006]

Someone gave a DVD of this film to a coworker as a "gag" gift, and that coworker took her revenge on the rest of us by showing it on a tour bus en route from a day of wine tasting.

Perhaps it was a day of wine tasting that contributed to the group's response, but nearly everyone fell asleep during this film. Although I did watch a bit at the beginning before falling asleep myself, I did notice that the film was rife with stereotypes (politically incorrect by today's standards, but probably not for 1950) and overacting (Goddard wants to be Norma Desmond--bulging eyes and intense stares-- but the part was already taken).

Someone joked that this wasn't a "B" movie, but a "B-minus" movie. Like most of my coworkers, I give it an "F."

The Mostly Unfabulous Social Life of Ethan Green (2005)

A most unfabulous film

[2/10 · 2 July 2006]

Someone listed a bit of trivia on this site that this film was shot in less than 2 weeks--and it's not hard to believe. Movie makers should have left well enough alone than to try to turn an intermittently read 4-panel comic strip into a full-length film with a plot. This is like a series of sketches from "The Three Stooges" strung together--and it makes "The Three Stooges" look like Shakespearean actors.

As if the gay community hasn't had its fill of these kinds of films complete with the usual gamut of clichéd characters (the confused one, the gay Republican, the eternally horny twink, and of course, transvestites), here's another.

There's some loose plot about trying to sabotage the sale of a house, a cheesy commitment ceremony gone awry, requisite numerous sexual encounters most of which aren't even remotely romantic or titillating, and of course, the predictable "boy gets back together with his ex" ending.

Perhaps I'm older than the intended audience for this film, but I viewed it with a handful of 20-something gay men, and they weren't very amused by it either. The only reason I'm not giving it the lowest rating is because of "The Hat Sisters". Clichéd or not, they were the highlight of the film--and that may or may not be a compliment.

Adam & Steve (2005)

In a word..."eh"

[5/10 · 14 May 2006]

***spoilers ahead*** Frankly, I don't see what the big deal is about this movie. It's a gay romantic comedy grounded in a moment of toilet humor (literally)--how touching. It's also supplemented by cheap gags and slapstick that are so over-the-top you can't help but laugh (both sets of parents, the barrage of beer bottles, the C&W dance-off, etc.) so it wasn't a total waste of money. Still, I didn't walk outta the theater wanting to fall in love--or eagerly anticipating the DVD release. All in all, I found it an overrated somewhat forgettable film--worth a matinée price or DVD rental on a rainy Sunday afternoon, but not exactly a date movie.

Oh...and what a HUGE waste of Parker Posey's talent. For her, this film may very well be what "The Brown Bunny" was for Chloe Sevigny--a career death knell.

A Place to Call Home (1987 TV Movie)

You GO Linda Lavin!!!!

[6/10 · 14 May 2005]

Points for plucky Linda Lavin, especially at the end when she gives her eunuch of a husband the heave ho--she should have thrown HIM into the rushing water and gone back to the sheep station with her kids!!! How ironic that he wanted to move there because he thought the kids were going' soft, yet he didn't have the *Beep* to divorce his wife before he forced her to move to the other side of the globe. What a catch he was, eh? Meanwhile, ya gotta admire Lavin's character in this role, though I found her acting a bit understated--like she was holding back. And the kids, though equally plucky (and the little ones were cute) had their annoying moments. Still, it was a good "fish out of water" story.

From Justin to Kelly (2003)

Like a bad train wreck....

[23 March 2005]

...you can't help but watch.

Virtually nothing about this film is likable--not the plot, not the characters, not the acting, not the music, not the dancing...

OK, so they're nice to look at, but they should be seen (except for Kelly in a bikini...shudder) and not heard, apart from their singing.

Makes ya wonder if anyone associated with this movie will ever get work again unless they remove it from their resume. Fans of American Idol should feel insulted that the producers thought they could win you over with this drivel ("Hey...let's turn Justin and Kelly into Frankie and Annette!")

Along Came Polly (2004)

More mediocrity from Ben Stiller

[2/10 · 10 January 2005]

Ben Stiller must aspire to be Albert Brooks. Like Brooks, Stiller recycles the same character every few years, just so we don't forget he's still alive, and comes up with yet another mediocre film. "Along Came Polly" is in keeping with this formula.

In the first 45 minutes, there are no less than three scenes/jokes/references to toilets or references to not being able to use a toilet. I don't find that original or humorous. If you stumble upon this film, reach for the remote and watch something else...ANYTHING else!!!

The only reason I'm not giving it the lowest rating is because of Alec Baldwin and Hank Azaria (drool)!!!

Now and Then (1995)

Now for an opinion from someone with a "Y" chromosome

[3/10 · 30 December 2004]

Sorry, but as a male of the species, I just don't get what the big deal is about this film!!! The plot struck me as a female version of "Stand By Me", set in a different part of the country with the added battle of the sexes.

Best thing about this movie, apart from the casting, is the soundtrack. THAT'S the only reason I've sat through it twice now. Apparently, O'Donnell, Moore, Griffiths, and Wilson (who BTW, hasn't acted in anything else, similar to the child actress who played her character's younger self) had nothing better to do one day and decided to make this movie, which for them, probably took all of a day given their two scenes together.

The Bourne Identity (2002)

A feeble attempt...

[17 July 2004]

I was reluctant to see this movie having seem the miniseries and wondering how they could possibly condense it further into a two hour film. I finally got around to watching this movie and wasn't impressed.

The action was OK--enough to hold your attention, but Matt Damon and Franka Potente are poor substitutes for Richard Chamberlain and Jacklyn Smith. Damon and Potente either ham it up or display no emotion at all...these are two people who are best seen, but not heard.

And what's the deal with Julia Stiles? What the heck was her role in all this? I never understood that--guess they just needed a young blonde for demographics.

Girl with a Pearl Earring (2003)

Mixed Reaction

[9 February 2004]

Mild spoilers ahead...

Saw this film this past weekend and neither liked it nor hated it. A handful of people in the theater with me walked out about halfway through and I was tempted to do same, but didn't. I thought it a rather interesting premise--maid-turned-muse--and I learned a bit about art. Plus I thought Holland and a Dutch artist less orthodox than France or Italy.

But I gotta say, I found the "story" rather slow and many of the characters, mostly female, rather despicable--the insecure, jealous wife; the meddling mother-in-law; the mischievous, instigating daughter; and the lecherous patron.

Oh, and why does everyone in Holland speak with an English accent?

Camp (2003)

JEEZ people.....

[3 September 2003]

...all you naysayers need to just LIGHTEN UP!!!!! The movie's a whimsical look at teens at a musical theater camp--why does it need to be politically or socially correct?

I see a lot of indie and foreign films and while most of them are excellent, they also deal with weighty, even gruesome issues (anyone see "The Deep End", "Dirty Pretty Things" or "Irreversible"?) Why can't this movie just be fun? Check Webster's for the definition of that last word--most of you don't seem familiar with it!!!!

Crush (I) (2001)

What bollocks!!!!!

[30 December 2002]

This movie was two hours of my life I'll never get back--not to mention the pay-per-view fee.

Anne Chancellor plays a bitter, morose triple divorcee who seizes every opportunity to pop others' relationship bubbles. Imelda Staunton plays a wishy-washy milquetoast with a sixth sense for picking losers ("I wanna put my d*ck in your p*ssy right now"--smoooooooth!!!), very much out of character for her law enforcement profession. Andie MacDowell chastises her young stud for a drug-dealing conviction, then somehow forgets to use birth control herself.

If nothing else, this film vindicates men as the inconsiderate oafish boors.

The Crime of Padre Amaro (2002)

Una pelicula scandalosa? No lo pienso!!!!

[30 November 2002]

I read that this was a controversial film that ended up breaking box office records, despite attempts to prevent it from even entering theaters around Mexico. I think it COULD have been a controversial film had the plot revolved solely around the affair the young priest has with the teenage girl. But instead of stopping there, the scandalous elements go so far as to render the film almost satirical (tragic ending notwithstanding), a la "The Opposite of Sex" or "Dogma."

You've got Father Benito who's sleeping with the local restaurant owner and is laundering money from the local drug lord to build a hospital; Father Amaro, who enters into an affair with the woman's daughter and gets her pregnant; Father Natalio who consorts with guerrillas; and a young reporter fired from his job for exposing it all.

Don't forget about Dionisia, the old crone who accepts the host only to spit out and feed it to her cats later; and Getsemani, a disabled young woman who "accidentally" places Father Amaro's hand on her breast.

Before you go thinking that this is just one "gringo's" opinion, be informed that I was one of the few gringos in the audience, surrounded by Latinos who either live here, or who crossed into the border for the evening to see this film (I was living in San Diego at the time, 15 miles from the Tijuana border). Instead of staring at the screen, mouths agape clasping at their chests, they were on the floor laughing when Dionisia began singing "Bendito, bendito...."

I respect the right of any filmmaker to conceive a film that challenges people's sensibilities and breaks them out of their comfort zone, whatever the topic. I think that this film was designed to do that, but probably went "one step beyond."

Bowling for Columbine (2002)

BRAVO to Michael Moore

[26 October 2002]

It seems only fitting having been born in "gun country" that Michael Moore cinematically takes aim at his own home state of Michigan and hits them right between the eyes.

He takes cinematic potshots at others too--the brother of one of the Oklahoma city bombers, the US government whose history of intervention and assistance to other countries usually comes in the form of guns to oust an unsavory leader or help maintain the existence of an U.S.-imposed leader, even Dick Clark whose Michigan-based business employed a single mother on "workfare" whose 6-year-old son shot and killed another six-year-old girl in his Michigan classroom--with a gun from his uncle's house where the boy stayed because he and his mother were being evicted for nonpayment of rent.

I personally may never watch "The 10 Commandments" again after seeing Charlton Heston come across as a gun-toting ("From my cold dead hands!"), insensitive (hosting NRA rallies in Littleton and Flint days after shootings in both) quasi-bigot ("Well, [maybe the reason we're so gun-crazy is because] we're more mixed here ethnically.") Mr. Heston should sell his estate in Beverly Hills and move to Michigan to be with militia buddies.

The Château (2001)

Mediocre at best

[2 September 2002]

Had its moments, but by and large, I was disappointed. Paul Rudd makes an idiot out of himself, prattling on and on and ON AND ON, not only in broken French, but also in English. I can't help feeling just a little embarrassed for him. I also can't help feeling that he should somehow apologize for making Americans look like bumbling idiots and for doing anything but helping to improve American-French relations (whatever state they happen to be in).