DerekFilms Reviews

Sugar (II) (2022)

So bad...it's good!

[4/10 · 9 July 2023]

This film is a complete turkey but entertaining enough to make it a must watch.

• the plot. This is "inspired by true events" but unfortunately the entire film is based on made up details of implausible situations and characters with enough plot holes to shake a stick at. I can't believe that somebody can claim to be a professional and write this script.

• the filming locations. If you are a cruise fan then this film is not for you. Even though most of the action is based on a cruise ship - the majority of the film was not filmed on a ship! All of the scenes in the cruise suite where actually filmed in a hotel room. The bars were filmed in bars at sea.

• The lack of attention to detail is staggering. This is an around the world 3 month cruise that costed probably $50k but every single guest on board is in their 20s! Not one elderly person is on board. The nightclub also has bottle service with sparklers. Firstly, there is no bottle service on a ship and secondly flames are not allowed on ships at sea!

To top it all off - one of the stars of the movie is the Director's daughter, talk about nepotism. Although to be fair - she is actually pretty good in this movie, if that's possible.

So there you have it - it's so bad that it's good.

Universal Soldier: The Return (1999)

Quite good film!

[7/10 · 22 April 2004]

I was expecting an absolute turkey like Police Academy 7 considering the rating BUT it actually was one of my favourite van damme films.

The first 20 minutes of the film are a bit slow but then it is non-stop action.

The characters are good and the plot is good. OK there are some holes but this is a van damme film!

If you liked the first film then you will like this one although it is not as good but that does not mean that it is not worth watching. Worth watching if you like van damme films.

I give this one 7/10.

The Man Who Wasn't There (2001)

Only for those who hate life

[4/10 · 8 October 2003]

If you are a boring, middle aged person wondering about why life has treated you so bad and are about as interesting as a box of cereal then this is the film for you.

If you like a film which is entertaining then avoid this one like the plague.

Art lovers avoid this one too. There seems to be this whole discussion about how great the film is because it is in black and white, so what? Watch any classic film and it is in black and white. However, this is not a classic. No wonder it flopped big time at the box office. Thank god there won't be a sequel...

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

Waste of my life

[8/10 · 21 June 2003]

This film is slow. There is a better way to listen to classical music then watch a film for 2 hours. There is no plot. This film is only for those art types who pretend that they really see the "deep" meaning and the "amazing" technical blah blah blah...it is like the emperors new clothes. I am not afraid to admit that i hated this film. It is slow and pointless! The emperor is naked! There you go, say it. Don't be scared...

PS I love all other Kubrick films

Swept Away (2002)

Funny but the ending! poor!

[6/10 · 15 June 2003]

This film is actually quite funny, the plot is good and the acting is ok. If you like desert island films then this one is for you but the ending...

the ending....woah!

(spoilers) How cheesy. How cheesy. How unbelivable. It is simply so silly. I cannot believe they did not make an alternate ending because they tried to make it "shocking" and "touching" but in the end you simply don't care and feel cheated. Guy Ritchie has no creditability anymore. In fact I respect Madonna more now. After all, this was quite a good performance by her.

Cop Land (1997)

"Stallone's finest performance" -- says who his agent?

[5/10 · 15 June 2003]

"Stallones finest performance" says his agent...his publicist and his dry cleaner but please it is hardly oscar winning.

This film is hugely disapointing. The plot is very cheesy and very badly potrayed. It is unclear who is who and why people are doing certain things.

The first 20 minutes where very good until you realise the film is going nowhere and that the film has a style of simply being unclear, not from intelligence but from being badly done.

(spoilers) The whole premise of the second half of the film is that the cops want to kill "superboy" but this does not even make sense. The major has already dropped the case so why bother?

This film had potential but once you realise there is no substance you feel cheated. This may be recent Hollywood's attempt at an "intellectual" thriller type film but anybody with some intelligence will not accept the plot or storyline. The concept is good but that is as far as it goes.

5/10

Escape from the Planet of the Apes (1971)

Crocodile Dundee but with apes!

[9/10 · 8 March 2003]

(spoilers only for first 10 mins)

The concept is basically Crocodile Dundee but with the apes from the first films coming to Earth and seeing how humans react to seeing talking apes!

It is entertaining but not as good as the first two amazing films. However, it is still very good and if you enjoyed the first two then you'll love this film. If those two amazingly groundbreaking films did not convert you then this one definitely won't.

9/10 so still very good but not as good as the first two which are 10/10.

By an Apes Fan

Beneath the Planet of the Apes (1970)

The sequel was shocking and worthy of the franchise

[9/10 · 1 March 2003]

(no spoilers)

The sequel was just as shocking at the first. I sat down to watch it WITHOUT seeing any trailers or even finding out what it was about. I must say i was very pleasantly surprised by the film.

The film built upon the first film and contains the sexy Nova. If you do watch it and have not seen it before then stop reading the reviews just watch it!

I think many people sit down and examine the plot in every detail too much. How can anybody possibly know what is possible in 2000 years if the humans blew eachother up and the apes took over?

The plot is good. Fans will like it.