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anh_tu_the_cynical_enthusiast
Reviews
The Transporter (2002)
WARNING SPOILERS!!!!! Bring a bucket so you can throw it in it
AWWW!!!!!!! What a bad movie. I hate when I have no fair no choice in what I me and my friends watch at the cinema because they gang up on my choice anyway...... This was straight out bad. BAD actors and performances all round. Jason Statham is great in Snatch but in this movie he sucks big time. No redeeming aspects at all. Except the fight where he "THE TRANSPORTER" tips the oil and everyone slips all over the place trying to grab him. I didn't even like the action scenes they were so generic. Corey Yuen what were you thinking. I love his old stuff my personal fave is My Father Is a Hero. But he screwed up big time here. Also Luc Besson who I am fan of his work, this a dodgy movie with typical structure and plot more thin than a super-model with a eating disorder. And the chase scenes weren't even exciting. I most more thrilled by riding a coin operated pony ride. The whole movie was predictable and was so boring when the actors spoke pointless dialogue which got in the way of the barrage of fight scenes. And the romantic interest couldn't even speak English properly, when she tries to say "Or your brain goes on the f**king desk!" she could barley pronounce it. At least they just slip in the pointless sex quickly without reason. Just have the girl slip off her gear and jump the b*****d, Also the French cop sucked. His worst line in the movie was in response to the Frank saying "Well I'm ex-navy..." and he says" Well I'm ex-little boy...", Great dialogue time went into that one. And the worst part of the movie is when Frank is in jail and the cop unlocks the cell and then hints to Frank that he should escape and save the day. After "hinting" it they exchange pointless looks for about 3 mins, the French cop trying to get the message across. In final I hated this movie is was short and was an anti climax. STAY AWAY spend your money doing on something worth while.
Posutoman burûsu (1997)
POSSIBLE SPOILERS! Funny, Cynical, Exciting, Deep, Original and Touching
This movie took me for surprise I was expecting a straight comedy but I was wrong. It's a great multi-genre movie with substance. This film is about a malcontent postman named Sawaki(Shinichi Tsutsumi) who runs into a high school friend while delivering mail to his apartment. His friend Noguchi(Keisuke Horibe) a newbie yakuza who is motivated by excitement and euphoria, "does your heart race like it did when you were a child ?" he says. Which makes Sawaki reassess his life and job. When leaving the apartment he is spotted by two cops on a stake out, who then begin speculation that Sawaki is a drug runner. And the story takes off from there. I would to state how much I loved this movie and it had the best bike sequences I've seen. Also starring Ren Osugi as Joe The Hitman and Susumu Terajima as one of the cops(Anyone notice that these two are token actors for Sabu, Takeshi Kitano and Miike Takeshi). This one of the most exciting films I've seen and has a great climax. Sabu(Hiroyuki Tanaka) is a great director. Too bad this has very little release worldwide. This movie is original and funny as hell, the audience laughed the whole way. WATCH IT
Street Fighter (1994)
!!POSSIBLE SPOILERS!! I Don't Know Where To Start.... Poor Adaptation, Bad casting.., Very Crap Dialogue, !!POSSIBLE SPOILERS!!
Being a huge fan of the fighting game franchise. I expecting the simple process of bringing the game to movie screen. I was wrong, very wrong. First off the worst casting in history, Van Damme as Guile, an american. HE CAN'T EVEN SPEAK ENGLISH. The whole movie his crappy accent doesn't even come close to a spoken word of english, let alone an american accent. Ken and Ryu as characters, was a bad choice. COME ON THEIR GUN DEALERS, WHO DEAL FAKE NERF GUNS!!!! ? COME ON!!!!!!!. Why ruin two perfectly good characters and turning them into comic relief. Jeez. Not to mention the stupid and very cheezy Dialogue.. One of my favourites by Van Damme is trying give a speech about democracy..... "Meanwhile, ideals like these - freedom, and justice - they get packed up. But... we can all go home. ". And the even dodgier Dialogue Cammy: Cammy here, are you alright? Guile: Yes. I'm just half dead. Cammy: And Bison? Guile: All dead. Avoid this like the plague. It reeks of stupidity and bad writing. The fight seqences were slowly done and poorly acted out.