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mrplaid2001
Reviews
Silent Hill (2006)
The best movie-to-game adaptation ever
Silent Hill is easily the best video game adaptation ever made. Sadly, that isn't saying too much. Director Christophe Gans absolutely nails all of the cryptic mythology of the video game series, and from the art direction it's obvious that Akira Yamaoka, the creative genius behind the video game series, had a heavy hand in the movie's creation. It also fits nicely into the time line of the game series as a prequel to the first game. The movie irrefutably falters in the one area I had hoped it wouldn't, however. Silent Hill just isn't scary. It seems as though the writers and the director were so preoccupied with getting the twisted, byzantine back story right that no one ever stopped to ask, "This is a horror film, right? Shouldn't we at least try to make it a little scary?" It actually reminds me a little of why I disliked the first Silent Hill game so much. There's potential for a good story there, but it gets lost among the copious bizarro, metaphysical, go-nowhere exposition. That's why most fans of the series agree that the second game has the best story. Silent Hill 2 is a much more personal tale as it pays little attention to the series' confusing mythology. Gans actually said in an interview (in EGM, I think) that he thinks the material from the second game would have made for a better movie than the first one. I agree. So here's hoping for a sequel.
Team America: World Police (2004)
Easily the funniest movie I've seen all year...
And possibly the funniest movie I've ever seen. It's a real shame this movie hasn't done better for itself, because it's got things for both sides of the political fence. The first half of the film is a cartoon view of the world of terrorism as the ultra right-wing sees it. The second part skewers the the left's extremist activist heroes. All the while, Team America skillfully lampoons big-budget Bruckheimer flicks. The musical numbers are hilarious, the puppetry never stops being funny, and the 'message' is something I'll never forget. Don't let ideology stop you from seeing this movie. In fact, neither presidential candidate is mentioned throughout the entirety of the film. If you like filthy, hilarious movies, see Team America. There's only one downside to this movie: With all that Trey Parker and Matt Stone have endured (and complained about) making this movie and its sub-par box office showing, it's highly unlikely we'll ever see a sequel.
9/10
Katakuri-ke no kôfuku (2001)
100% stupid
I just caught this on the Sundance channel, and I'll be damned if it isn't one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. Don't let anybody try to label this movie as a message about family values or a spoof of Japanese music videos, because the movie is just 100% stupid and it's all the more amazing for it. You won't regret sitting through the slow parts, because you'll be busting your gut every five minutes with many smaller gut busts in-between. 10/10.
Tekken (1998)
If you've ever wondered how bad anime could get...
Few people in anime's massive fanbase seem to be willing to accept the fact that most anime is pretty awful. Most anime has terrible pacing, incredibly awkward dialogue, cliched plots and characters, and poor animation in the case of most non-feature anime. Tekken has all of these faults and more to the point where it's so bad you shouldn't miss it. Most notably, for a movie based on a fighting game, there doesn't seem to be very much fighting. Most of what little combat there is is of the Dragonball variety, which involves people standing about ten feet apart and speaking in run-on sentences about their hastily put-together back stories. When the characters aren't 'fighting' they're yammering on about the hilariously lame plot which involves some kind of devil and an island and the end of the world or something. I was too busy laughing through most of it to catch any of major story points. Speaking of laughing, one of the major action sequences involves the characters fighting freaking INVISIBLE DINOSAURS. I'm not kidding. They also managed to work the stupid boxing kangaroo into the story. I caught this movie on cable with the terrible English dub, which gives it another point on the Hilariously Bad scale. There's just so much wrong with this movie that it's great. If you consider yourself an anime fan, do yourself a favor and watch this so you know where the bottom of the barrel is.
Cowboy Bebop: Tengoku no tobira (2001)
Sure to at least please fans of anime or good movies in general.
I'll start off by saying that I'm a huge fan of Cowboy Bebop. No other anime has characters that are as real and deep, yet fantastic and archetypical as this series. Every episode in the series manages to be visually stunning and/or humorous and uplifting while at the ame time being beautiful and poetic all in a twenty-minute timeframe. So its hard not to judge Coboy Bebop: Knockin' On Heaven's Door under the same light or along the same lines as the series. That said, the movie is very cool and very enjoyable, and from the fansub that I watched, I know I'll be snagging this as soon as (or if ever) it is released on DVD.
After the initial five minute attention grabber and wonderfully cheesey rotoscoped-looking opening credits, Spike and the gang set off on the trail of a bearded bioterrorist worth 300,000,000 woolongs who plans to do some bad stuff to whatever planet it is they're on (I think its Mars, but I'm pretty sure they never actually say in the movie). Along the way, we get action, not-so-much action, Maracans, we get to hear some more awesome Yoko Kanno music, Spike reaffirms his position as the most badass character ever in animation, and we almost get to see Faye's boobies. The action scenes are superb, especially two in particular. Spike's first fight with the woefully underdeveloped Electra is easily some of the best martial arts animation ever. Also, the monorail scene is probably one of the coolest and definitely the goriest thing ever seen in Cowboy Bebop.
The movie does, however, slow down at parts, especially when the focus is lifted from the main characters. A lot of times I just felt like I was waiting for the movie to pick itself up and get going again, something that never happens in the show, but, then again, this film is nearly two hours long (awesome for an anime). One reason the film seems so slow in comparison to the series is that there are a lot more establishing shots and the like. It makes you wonder whether Shinichiro Watanabe was trying to be theatrical or just padding the film. Its almost as though they got too good at pacing their own show, which, I suppose is a testament to the original series. Every storyline moved so fluidly and was paced so well that the movie seems sluggish in comparison.
The movie's supporting characters aren't all that great, either. Electra is pretty bland, as is the antagonist, Vincent. That's kind of disappointing, since the Bebop crew was able to give so much personality to other lesser characters who had a lot less screen time in the original series (like Indian dude and the card-playing old guys, who both, thankfully, show up in the movie and play pretty cool roles in some scenes). Most of the other supporting cast is just fodder for Vincent to off to make him seem less likable. One thing that's sure to annoy a lot of people is Vincent's pseudo-religious rants and vague creepy-talk. The way that he talks and the way that others talk about him is a bit indicative of Shinji Ikari and Evangelion, but really not as good or interesting. If you look hard enough, you might be able to find some meaning in the symbolism they're trying to impose, but most of the time it will just come off as BS. At least he looks cool, and in the end, that's all that really matters in a villain.
Electra, on the other hand, is just your average sterotypical good-lookin' hard-ass female cop-type person that shares a mysterious past with Vincent that really isn't all that mysterious or interesting. But the film is really about Spike and the gang, and none of the principal cast go neglected. Each character has some pretty cool/funny scenes, even Ein and Ed (who I'm sure annoys the hell out of some people). The sad thing is that there's none of the ass-slapping hilariousness of "Mushroom Samba," nor is there any of the frenetic and fast-paced shooting action of "Pierot Le Fou." But we do get to see Spike use his 'leet jeet kun do fighting skillz to kick a fair share of ass. In terms of pacing and character development, the movie comes off as an extended version of "Jupiter Jazz" parts one and two, probably my least favorite episodes, sans any cool character revelations. I guess you can't really expect to learn anything new about the characters since the series tied itself up so nicely.
In the end, though, "Knockin' On Heaven's Door" is freaking awesome. It may sound like I've been ragging on it, but that's just because the series is so awesome its hard for anything to hold a candle to it. So does the movie do the series justice? Absolutely, if you're a fan, definitely check it out, but you'd probably have to be a fan to really enjoy it. If the movie were a regular thirty-minute episode, it would be pretty forgettable. Even still, chances are that that's ten times better than most other anime out there.