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7th Heaven: Time to Leave the Nest (1998)
Most absurd, but best episode
This episode does well to demonstrate how mad the writers are. Simon repeatedly lays claim to the lost "homeless" girl Sarah as his personal property and Simon's father doesn't correct his use of that language. Sarah and the father both appear in Homeless Face, a weird 90s take on how homeless people would presumably look. Eric, as is a common theme in this show, uses his rank of minister like he's the county sheriff, and waltzs into the homeless father's trailer like he owns the place. Even the cop relinquishes control of the situation to him and they co-commit B&E as if the fourth amendment doesn't exist.
Two notes on the trailer B&E scene: first, Eric exclaims to Matt "see, this is the importance of a college education." Second, the trailer belonging to the homeless father sits on its own private and secluded lot and appears to be reasonably well appointed and spacious if not a little untidy. Would the writers have guessed that not 25 years after airing, the quality of life enjoyed by this homeless man would be considerated unnatainable to the majority of those with college degrees? In a ridiculous twist, the entire Camden family breaks into the trailer a second time to clean it and fill with weird food like Sunny D and cucumbers. Somehow this cures the father of his alcoholism and rebuilds his relationship with his mom.
Sex Factor out of control in this episode. Lucy keeps repeating "I'm petite and sexual", Mary plays into it, and the mom describes their conception. The Mom actually says (to am eleven year old) "when sex is good, it's really good", going on to describe the date when Eric brought her a Hershey's bar and then bedded her. Fortunately she didn't describe Mary's conception, alluding to the story being too raunchy to speak of.
7th Heaven: My Kinda Guy (1998)
Guy is the only normal person in this episode
The episode opens with, as usual, the dad radically changing the household dynamic by bringing in a complete stranger and also without consulting his wife. Guy turns out to be pretty normal though, perhaps the most sensible person ever introduced on the show so far. The Camden family violates his privacy and talks trash about him from a distance of less than 20 ft with open doors in between. I am surprised he lasted 3 days living with these maniacs. On the other hand, guy did groom the girls, and then the girls apologized to him for leading him on. That was pretty weird and on point for this show.
Sex Factor 7 out of 10: some serious softcore vibes when Eric and the mom meet on the internet for some cybering. The conversation was gross. At one point he refers to wet clothes sticking on her body and "the full Monty" and there are children watching all this in the chat room. The internet was pretty sick though. It was pre-asked jeeves, which was cool to see.
Ruthie was her sociopathic self and a terror, rooted through Guys stuff, showed no remorse, then manipulated her brother into smoking.
7th Heaven: Family Secrets (1996)
Pretty unremarkable
The scene in which the Reverend is using the phone in the hospital and the nurse offers to take his shoes to have them stretched across the street, was demented and ridiculous. At best the gesture was strange at worst the gesture veered into Dahmer territory. The number of times that the word library was said in this episode was unhinged. On a positive note the salad bowl presented on the dinner table shined through the trash and put a smile on my face.
The sex factor on this episode was fairly reasonable, however still a large fixation on teenage pregnancy, as well as some sordid conversation between the parents in the kitchen underneath a phallic shaped jello mold. Not up to the usual par.
No notable sociopathic tendencies demonstrated by Ruthie at this point... Yet.