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Reviews
The Killer in the Guest House (2020)
No so smart landlord.
Gina made so many mistakes. 1st she dated Levon. What a tool. 2nd she let a guy move into a property of hers with no shower/bathroom facilities, so Mark had free run of the house without getting any references on the guy?? Dumb. How did Mark get her pay app.?? Seems like she never even heard of one. "Oh that was fast" duh. The whistling was very annoying, but I got it. He's a psycho. Loved Levon getting his butt kicked. He deserved it, but he didn't deserve to die. Mark blowing up Levon's car in an open unpopulated area and just jogging off was pretty funny. Robert committing suicide the way they thought he did was comical. All in all Mark was pretty good crazy. And Gina was the typical ditz LMN movies make most women look to be.
A Lifeguard's Obsession (2023)
The ridiculous injury.
I watch cheesy movies all of the time. This one takes the cake. The pre-existing injury for surfer girl was comical from begging to end. A surfer who can't stay a float because of some minor past injury has to be one of the funniest things I've watched. The angry hippy surfer dude cracked me up. The acting between the three main characters was so incredibly bad that this turned into a comedy right off the bat. Everything about this movie was absolutely awful, yet again funny as hell. I actually could not stop watching. I'm glad I record these movies because the pain goes by quickly. This one though the laughter never stopped.
Trapped with My Husband (2022)
Frumpy husband. Frumpy wife.
My gosh you couldn't of put together a goofier looking couple. Why other people were so obsessed with these two very unattractive, un sexy boring duo is beyond me. A loser husband. A clueless loser wife makes this movie more of a comedy than a thriller. This whole movie was a laugher from beginning to the end. And why don't any of these expensive homes in LMN movies ever have security systems that work, or have them period? Whomever played Melissa and Kevin need different professions. They were monotone "blah, blah,blah" the whole movie. And Kevin just walking up and killing a woman in the street without even a sound?? Ugh!!
Twisted Sister (2023)
Nights I had to beg people for food, REALLY??
Whomever Lilly was begging for food went overboard when it came to giving. Mena Suvari and especially Mark Famiglietti are two of the worst actors I've ever seen. And why did Viator even get invited to her weak BD party? The LMN actor's cameo role was pointless. And let's bring my 1/2 sister right on board to a meeting with a potentially high profile customer when the 1/2 sister is clueless about the business? This movie made no sense, especially the ending. The ending was not predictable at all, but it was truly ridiculous. I'm glad I record these movies so I won't waste 2 hrs. Of my time. 50% are watchable. This one is at the lower percentile of unwatchable. UGH.
House of Deadly Lies (2023)
Frumpy wife.Useless friend
One thing that made absolutely no sense from the beginning is, this couple made zero sense. Frumpy whining wife. Drinking D. B. nasty tempered husband who works all of the time doing what? Absolute casting mess. The kid was just annoying. Paige was almost unwatchable. She brought nothing but a major downer vibe from beginning to the end. I'm glad I record these movies because it only takes me less than an hour of wasting my time. The ending was a nice surprise even though I knew pretty much the ending 30 minutes in from a couple of scenes. The husband played a pretty good thoughtless bad guy which helped. The women and the kid just ruined for me.
The Wrong Teacher (2018)
Frumpy student. Frumpy teacher.
These two were made for ea. Other. There is nothing sexy about teacher. And the same goes for the Student. A goofy looking bad acting kid. And a woman who looks like she just woke up in every seen. UGH! Wouldn't screwing ANYBODY in your classroom be a fire able offense anyways, student, or no student? This movie is only watchable if you like comedies, or bad acting. I lost a million brain cells in 2 hours without drinking, or using drugs. She plays detective (once again) and it just so happens the doofus leaves his door unlocked. She breaks an entering. Has sex with a student. Cheats on her boyfriend and somehow is the victim?? Eh boy!
Deadly Yoga Retreat (2022)
Jonathan Bennett or Chris Kattan??
My goodness. This was an awful movie I just couldn't turn away. I just kept thinking of a movie just as bad or worse. A Night at the Roxbury. Chris Kattan would've played a better serial killer. All of these women become yoga "professionals" instructed by a ridiculous character? Who blows up in 5 seconds without even digesting the seafood? To sit around and put something together like this by so many people just blows my mind. Richard Simmons playing the yoga instructor and Amy Poehler should've played the leads. Now that would've made sense. The rest was just a complete mess. And yet for some reason i again wasted my time.
Secrets in the Snow (2020)
The 2 inch snowstorm that shuts down a northern city??
1st off. Why do these two women want too be so much a part of this family? The sister/daughter is just not likable for her own reasons. Her boyfriend is just a tool. The mother is just as annoying as can be with all of her ridiculous birthday babble. How many times did Ted apologize to Christina for talking down to her?? This famous Teds Tavern where Christina "had to trudge through all of that snow just down the street" closes down? There wasn't 3 inches of snow in that parking lot. The father was the only believable one. Creepy and kept to himself in the creepier basement. And Aubrey Reynolds just can't act. She should've got her money back from Brigham Young. Just ugh!
Hall Pass Nightmare (2022)
Frumpy Woman
How Andrea Bowen was casted for this role makes absolutely no sense. She has too be the most frumpy looking actress in any LMN movie. To try and make us believe some "rock star" Dante is obsessed with her is laughable. And I wouldn't want to buy any medical equipment from her totally clueless dopey husband. And what was the shower scene with her washing all the filth off of herself after a couple of kisses she had with the acoustic rock star? That was pathetic. The whole movie went from bad to worse. The complete clueless, goofball husband was just over the top. He also went from bad to worse. 2 stars for comedic value.
Sins in the Family (2023)
Rose,Rose,Rose,Rose,Rose
Holy crap I think the name Rose was said more than in the most overrated movie ever. TITANIC. And that's almost impossible to do. An almost 30 something playing a teenager is comical. ROSE looks absolutely nothing like her birth "mother". Haley looked more like Maxs mother than his wife. The casting for this mess made absolutely no sense. What a miscasting nightmare. Eating ice cream out of the same carton with a person you just met and playing mommy and daughter was just another fumble during this hot mess. And if ROSE was suppose to be this future molecular biologist, you're not going to become one without cracking at least one book. ROSE was anything but an up and coming biologist of any kind. I gave it a 2 because of its comedic value. Ugh....
Kept Woman (2015)
Just too funny.
The guy who lives his life in the late 50's-60's. Funny. Dresses 50's-60's like funny. House so out of place it's ridiculous. Funny. Driving an early 60's Corvair? Pretty cool. Nothing strange about anything there? So many things that make this movie somewhat watchable. Jess asking the neighbor why he has two bags of groceries. Funny. Jess just takes off?? Funny. Husband after two months of her "taking off" puts the house of for sale. Funny. The neighbor played a pretty good creep that's for sure. The husband was a total tool. Let's hang out with creepy neighbor guy and watch a game drinking beers? If I were his wife, I really would've ran away well before I bought a house with the guy. Entertaining somewhat. The goofiness saved it for me.
Deceitful Dating (2021)
Ending pretty good. Farther just awful
3 attractive/semi attractive women one married to him the other two totally into him made absolutely zero sense. Derek Hamiltons acting skills aren't even there. He looks and acts like a bumbling father who has this "I'm the rooster in the hen house" attitude. Alice seems helpless. Chelsea is a teenager who you'd like to punch. I didn't mind her. Being bad is sometimes a good thing. She was an ok character. The father is the major issue. What a tool. Old man sweaters. Old man walk. Just a total bore. Should've of killed him off with a heart attack and kept his wife alive to make a womens love triangle. That would've saved this mess.
Falling for a Killer (2023)
Your gonna need a bigger boat.
C'mon. A crazy rich old man's hunting boat is 10 feet. Three men cram into it (probably 600 lbs lbs) with loaded riles was comical. Aubrey Reynolds is as always just plain bad. Pushed his wife down an elevator shaft was also comical. The crazy old dad is over the top annoying. I'm sure Tom (Tommy) didn't change that much to the point of being unrecognizable when was a teenager Earl. It would've been better if Tom got rid of that whole and moved onto another one. Crazy Tom made it bearable for me to watch. I record all LMN movies so it only takes me about an hour of my time. This one was comical and pretty entertaining.
My Husband's Killer Girlfriend (2021)
My brain hurts.
Crappy wig. Crappy plot. Just crappy all around. How do you just give your kid to somebody you never met and go out of town???? Then you don't tell her farther also?? Then Leah all of a sudden becomes super woman?? Caring mother. Strong willed parent. Adam a tool of a father getting with a woman who was way too hot for this goofball actor. Lane Edwards is just an awful actor period. The girl who played his daughter acted tougher than he did. And she was awful. What's up with LMN law enforcement?? They're weak. Clueless. And utterly just dumb. Give me a break. Stealing his coins.........really? Talk about a paper (coin) trail. Adam just needed to be smacked up side his head more than once. Should've made his brain hurt more than mine for watching this movie.
A Deadly Deed (2021)
WHOA!!
The Lawrence brothers look so much alike that the storyline is pretty much a joke. The one thing that saved this movie for me was Joey. He was the perfect A-hole. A complete tool. He still says his lines like, well Joey from his Blossom days. It sort of made me laugh more than I should've considering on what a Richard he was. It also was sort of like watching a movie with Emilio Esteves and Martin Sheen not being related anyway. Really weird. Matthew Lawrence is a pretty good actor in his own right I have to admit. Samantha Cope not so much. Again, Joey (WHOA) played a really good bad guy. Jennifer Taylor was so badly casted on Two and a half Men that I can't get over her less than good acting skills. WHOA!!
Wrongfully Accused (2019)
How??How??How??
HOW does a women become "besties" with the so called "hardcore" prison women in a day, or two? And HIW is she in a maximum security prison without a trial? HOW does she even get to leave Hawaii with the "so called" evidence they had on her? HOW does she get arrested in LA and not extradited to Hawaii? HOW did these two children even get casted? Bringing the two children to the prison made absolutely no sense. This whole movie is a major mess. If all of the prisoners she becomes besties with are so street smart, then why are they all serving major time? Thank goodness for DVR. I only wasted about an hour of my time I can't get back.
Spinning Out of Control (2023)
Desk monkeys??
This movie makes absolutely zero sense. Leah and Tom........ really?? Natalie just walks into a home wearing dish washing gloves and beats the hell out of Tom with a weight tool?? The parole officer scene is comical. Leah asking a beaten Tom "are you all right"?, "are you ok"? Just bad acting period. This is such a bad movie. Just awful. I can't believe this went on too be a full movie after the 1st 10 minutes. I can post a cop outside that door right now... really? Watching LMN movies is one thing, but putting this garbage out there is completely different. And who puts a knife next to their self for protection? And where in the hell do you just pick up a bottle of chloroform.?? The phone conversation with Tom in the hospital was simply pathetic. Tom....really?? Ugh.
Smart Home Killer (2023)
Just ridiculous
Adult male hanging out at a high school to pick up a 17 year old?? Single woman dependent to her homes voice security? Why do all LMN parents put the pressures of being the best student ever on their kids?? The mother is clueless to the point of embarrassing. Instead of worrying about her kid being perfect she should get her own act together. Such a lame movie premise. The electronics genius is so ridiculously creepy from the get go. This whole movie makes absolutely zero sense. Massive house for a mother and daughter. Voice activated to the point of invasive. The whole school girl fighting and being hated by "everybody" is a total joke.
A Killer Upstairs (2005)
Where are the actors?
Just watched this movie fir the 1st time. How in the heck does Tracy Nelson still get "acting" gigs till this day?? Is she grandmothered in?? Boxleitner is just collecting a paycheck. Jacot seemed lost acting period. The movie alibi was ridiculous. The kid was never fingerprinted, so how did they get a comparison on the vase?? Poorly written. Poorly acted. And how do the detectives just sit the kid down in his home and interrogate him? Then, mom at school talks about his situation to him (which is also ridiculous) and he says "I can't talk after school because I have detention". Really?? I gave it a 2 because I wasted time watching it.
Murder Unresolved (2016)
Frowny Faces
Two actresses I just don't get. Nicholle Tom. And Chantelle Peloso (Stacey Castor Story) in LMN movies. The two have the same facial expression that never changes that can be interpreted in many ways. Frowny,pouty, angry, sad, angerly confused. I know I'm missing a few more. I literally fast forward when they're on screen. There definitely is not anything appealing about either of their acting skills. I didn't kill my sister is another LMN movie that makes law enforcement look totally clueless. Crime should've been solved in two/three days. And to think the soon too be ex-husband was even close to being attracted to the dead wife's sister was the most unbelievable part of this movie.
A Sister's Grudge (2021)
Father instead of mother
Patrick Finerty could not of been more annoying. He does better in hearing device commercials. The plot was pretty shaky. The movie was watchable. But the father.....ehhhh boy. He should've been the one starring at an on coming car for way too long. Jonathan Stoddard plays a better villain. He was just so dry, robotic etc.. How do people just let other people waltz into their lives and claim they're blood relatives with no scientific proof? And then being so naive to just treat them like family you already. And you have another senior couple living in a 10,000 square ft. Home by themselves. That one never makes sense too me.
Gaslit (2019)
School,doctors,phone records. Duh
Is this a moon landing like conspiracy? Are the police so incompetent that they don't check out the obvious? The whole movie makes zero sense. It's not like a new born dying (seen that before) at birth and taken from the mother. I'm glad I recorded it so I could see it in an hour or so. The mom runs around like a lunatic while doing absolutely nothing. How about letting the woman you let your daughter go with come into your home and also still communicate with? No finger prints of the TEENAGE girl in the their home,car? An urn with cigarette ashes? Watching Corin Nemic taking his glasses off and on through a whole movie was more entertaining. Ughh.