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Gold Digger Killer (2021)
Weird Casting Age-Wise.
As others have pointed out, the casting of actors is insane based upon their real life ages.
I wonder why the actress playing the part of "Becky", the male lead's daughter...looks at least the same age as him? It's utterly bizarre!
Julie Benz does a good job of playing such a scheming monster...totally different from her "sweet as sugar pie" role in the excellent drama "Dexter". She plays the part like a pantomime protagonist. In real life, no-one would ever get away with such sneaky, show-off behaviour but once you remember it's one of these "Lifetime" type movies, you know you're not going to see nuanced performances.
Christmas in Scotland (2023)
Chilly Teuchter Rubbish.
Scottish person here. Unfortunately this nonsense is just a load of hokey drivel. The storyline is the usual - woman meets guy from a posh family then changes the (long ignored) local Christmas celebrations into something 'new and exciting'....except they're not. Unfortunately the two lead actors aren't particularly charismatic. I doubt anyone cared whether they fell in love, or not.
You can't just film a few old fashioned locations and pretend they're interesting. I suppose the Americans who made this guff think it's quaint. It's not. It's just boring. There's no warmth or excitement. All very predictable.
Monkey Culture (2021)
Don't Romanticise Teenage Thug Culture!
There is nothing romantic or 'cheeky' about their tale. They terrorised many parts of west Edinburgh...especially Gorgie.
They vandalised property, stole bikes, broke into people's homes and were notorious shoplifters. Police detested them because they were under 16 and there was nothing they could do about their reign of terror. Guess what? Somehow these parts of the story somehow got lost on the cutting room floor.
Years later, you could often see one of them staggering around the main part of Gorgie high as a kite on whatever junk they were smoking or had snorted.
Filmed on a (likely stolen) camcorder.
Don't waste your valuable time viewing this drivel!
A Castle for Christmas (2021)
Chilly Xmas Baloney
Fake Scottish accents.
Real Scottish accents reciting ridiculous uber-Scots words that appear to be hyper-tartanised for the American audience.
Fake snow.
Smarmy little bunch of pally (friendly) locals who appear to have taken over all the seating in the cozy wee (small) pub for their knitting club. They're seemingly so 'at home' there that one of them sits in an armchair with her dirty boots permanently curled up under her. In real life, the staff in any decent pub would have told her to get her filthy feet off the furniture.
Only good thing about this silly movie was the adorable dog named Hamish. He was the best actor in this trash. A real up and coming star.
BTW...I live 2 miles from the Dalmeny 'castle' location. Believe me, the little hokey village (filmed in Culross) is not remotely similar to the way it's portrayed in this movie.
Dear Americans....if you plan on visiting the real locations, I'm afraid you'll be extremely disappointed. Disneyland is 100% more authentic.
Dachau - Death Camp (2021)
Irritating Mispronunciation Throughout
How is it possible for the American voiceover artist, employed by a presumably 'professional' production company, to continually mispronounce the name of such an infamous concentration camp, without anyone attempting to correct the error before the documentary was released?
Beyond irritating. Ruins the viewing experience.
If they can't even get that part of this horrific story correct, should we just assume there are other factual errors elsewhere?
Mend It for Money: Episode #1.1 (2021)
Spoiled by the Narration
This is definitely my kind of show - BUT - the whole ambiance is spoiled by the overpoweringly loud and snarky narrator's voice which surely must irritate anyone who's seriously interested in watching the natural progress of each project.
Why do the producers feel the jarring intrusion of someone desperately shoe-horning puns, jokes and their own personality into the formula is necessary? The best narration is the type where you're barely aware that you're being fed information by a voice that's calm and relaxing.
I give it 10 stars for the concept but 0 stars for the hideous narrator's voice - therefore an average of 5 stars.
Christmas with a Prince (2018)
Disappointing FAIRYtale.
As these movies are usually aimed at the female audience, surely the lead 'hunk' needs to be someone who doesn't have an online profile full of semi-naked muscle-man pictures aimed purely at a 100% male audience.
If it's supposed to be a love story, the male/female romance has to be believable.
The story was the usual one. Prince meets lowly (but talented and cute woman) and eventually whisks her off to be the princess in some make-believe Eastern European country.
This example was pretty awful.
Christmas Inheritance (2017)
Poor Choice of 'Hunk' With a Heart.
Don't get me wrong. In many ways this movie ticks all the boxes when it comes to formulaic cheesiness.
Is there an attractive, secretly wealthy boy/ or girl who's working undercover (to learn about themselves and/or learn how to take over the family's company or kingdom as part of an inheritance and/or experience the real world)? Yes!
Does the action take place in a small, wholesome, cosy little town and/or palace in some East European-ovia country? Yes!
Is the object of their attraction a pretty or handsome-yet-ordinary person with a heart of gold? Yes!
Is one of them due to get married to/in a relationship with, someone they don't really love? Yes!
Is there a late-in-the-day 'misunderstanding' between the romantic leads - which has to be resolved before they finally realize they're meant for each other? Yup.
All's well and good in this movie, except for one thing. I'm sure the male lead is a lovely person in real life but he's mis-cast. For these type of movies to work, BOTH leads need to be attractive. Even attractive and quirky is okay.
The girl is beautiful and adorable. Too bad the male lead in "Christmas Inheritance" ain't no HUNK. He's just downright goofy looking.......and not in a unconventional, fanciable way.
For that reason alone, sadly it's a FAIL from me!
Judge Rinder (2014)
Fake Judge Thinks He's Such a Wit.
This insufferable bore thinks his ability to shoe-horn non-funny jokes and fart gags into his pretend court is amusing.
Sadly, ITV need an easily-made 60 minutes of trash to fill a vacancy in their afternoon telly. Rinder appears to have been the only applicant. He got the job and we're now stuck with him. Each of his numerous fart joke have been used at least 20 times per season.
He appears to have already decided what the outcome of each 'case' will be before the players even enter the fake court. He must lie in bed each night dreaming up weak jokes to interject into the course of each case. You can see the look of panic on his face when folk don't answer questions like he expected and opportunities to squeeze in his planned 'wit' are missed.
Roll up, roll up. If you've got a vaguely funny name, you're a transvestite, toothless, overweight, skinny, tattooed, educationally subnormal etc......Judge Rinder wants to attempt to make fun of you!!!!
Oranges and Sunshine (2010)
An Opportunity To Tell a Fascinating Story - Sadly Lost!
Had read the book and a lot of history surrounding the subject matter but the movie was one BIG disappointment. Emily Watson (who I previously liked) seems like she was half asleep and walked through her performance like a corpse. She always has a kind of smirky look around her eyes and that doesn't help when you're supposed to be acting out a character who's sympathetic and crusading. Many scenes seemed contrived and lacked honest emotion. You never felt remotely sympathetic to the characters' stories as they were so under-developed.
Always been a big fan of Ken Loach - Kes and Ladybird, Ladybird are up there with some of the best film-making in British history. Ken's son Len, the director, has used the same writer Rona Munro to adapt the story as a screenplay. What went wrong this time? Viewers will have been puzzled as to which country the action was happening in as the location switched from Oz to England in the blink of the eye. The only clue given was the slight increase in sunlight or an obviously non-British beach-side location. Overall the film stock used must have been ancient. All scenes were murky and dark - even when it was apparently sunny in Oz.
Amongst scenes which particularly stood out was the half-hearted 'love scene' between the Margaret Humphreys (Watson) character and her husband. It was plonked into the film like a gatecrasher at a wedding - a gap-filler with no relevance to the story.
Another scene saw Humphreys attending what appeared to be some sort of Sunday-school picnic type of event (presumably a gathering of people who had been sent over to Oz as children by the British government/social work department). Humphreys stood on a small stage in a field and made a short speech, addressing an audience of attendees who appeared to be largely ignoring her - asking anyone who had a story to tell or questions regarding their childhood 'kidnapping' to contact her. She sat down in said field and was ignored until one man approached her and started to tell his tale. This appeared to be a catalyst for a large crowd to suddenly take it upon themselves to walk over like a bunch of zombies and join the discussion. It was like a scene out of a horror movie.
Another turgid scene saw Humphreys driving around Oz(?) streets for no apparent reason with one of the grown-up victims and suddenly joining in singing along to Cat Steven's on the car radio singing "Wild World".
Love scene - check!
Singing scene - check!
When in England, the director seemed to have no clue how to convey a 1980s feel other than to stick old-style metal dustbins in front of homes or use the same half dozen 80's vintage cars parked strategically whenever they were forced to film outside. Bizarrely, the one scene where a grown-up Oz emigrant is re-united with a parent, they choose to film it on a suburban street full of homes with brand new white uPVC doors which would have been rare if not non-existent at that period in time.
Towards the end, one of the now-grown child refugees drove Humphreys into the wilderness where the 'brothers' lived in a large mansion-like building miles from civilization. Apparently this is where much of the sexual and physical abuse took place when the victims were children. There was never any real analysis of the 'brothers' story. The mansion was obviously their religious HQ. A stupid scene where Humphreys and a former victim strolled into the mansion and sat like wallies whilst the dreaded 'brothers' sat eating and ignoring them (speaking not one word) was comical in its complete and utter lack of drama. It seemed that the director was more immersed in setting up camera angles to film the vast dining hall where they all sat, than actually telling us a story. Words fail me! Honestly, there were so many holes in the story - it was like a sieve of vague facts. If you hadn't read the book or followed the historical fact through news sources, you wouldn't have had a clue what the hell was going on.
The real Margaret Humphreys must be SO disappointed. I'm sure she's a great person but this film made her look cold and morose.
Can't understand the largely positive reviews given by the media.
Len Roach needs to take some big lessons from his father's film history. Now that's a guy who deserves praise!