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Reviews
Monster High (2022)
Fantastic movie
As someone who enjoyed the Disney Descendants movies, I can say this has a similar appeal. There are considerable complaints that this is not like the original franchise. I am quite pleased by that as I was never a fan of the original Monster High.
The first song in the film is quite the ear worm, and it comes after setting up a touching story between the lead and their father. Other characters are introduced during this fun song and dance number and I couldn't help but smile and relate to one character in particular.
The film has a lower budget and it shows in exterior shots of the school, however, I found this rather charming. I remember the height of direct to dvd sequels that used a very similar, low-grade cgi. Given that this is meant to be a film for a younger audience, I wasn't bothered by the lower cgi quality.
Love interests were not a huge focus in this film. I appreciated that. There is certainly a bit of a love triangle, but it isn't the main focus, but rather a sub plot that helps lead to the finale.
Costumes were fun, though because this is based on a fashion doll line, I wonder if they are trying to make the dolls more accessible in their fashion for audiences. I can support that as not everyone can afford a faux fur shoulder shrug or glittering 7 inch heels.
The plot was pulled through the entire movie well for the age range this was intended for and the conflicts the characters experienced with each other or the environment weren't earth shattering by any means. They also seemed to move passed the conflicts with relative ease, but again...consider the intended audience.
For a competitive film to the very successful Disney Descendants franchise, I think Nickelodeon is doing quite well with this entry, if only the gatekeeping fans would give it time to breathe and allow new fans to join in on the fun.
The Craft: Legacy (2020)
Evolution of a topic
If you actually understand witchcraft you'd appreciate this movie. As we had the 90s goth aesthetic for the 1996 film, we have the 2020 aesthetic that is today's youth. This film adds a bit more flair than the dark ideals of women against women of the 90s. Here, women ideals are celebrated and brought to the forefront of the craft. Certainly this movie has a bit more magical glitz and glimmer, but it is the counter to the dark and drab of the 90s version. This film is very deserving of the name The Craft as it shows yet another facet to a very broad belief. Enjoy this as the entertainment it is.
Quarantine L.A. (2013)
I'd rather drive a Phillip's head into my skull
This "film" is nothing more than a script of "what not to do while acting". I love Quarantine 1 and 2. I love the Rec films, but this Quarantine LA film is enough for you to wish a zombie infection happened and the actors of this film went first. I'd say the actors were flat, but I am curious if they even had a pulse...or a comprehension of how people even talk. The acting was garbage. The lighting was stupid (you have a light in front of the actor hanging from the ceiling, but close up shots you shine light from the side only? The director is licking-windows special). The film is the prolapsed rectum of the whole series. Gross. Unwatchable. Garbage.
Home (2015)
My favorite animated movie.
I saw previews for this movie and just kept moving. I never saw it in theaters. Something kept drawing me to the title when it was released in home media. I couldn't figure out why, but something made me want to watch the movie. In a moment of disposable income and inhibition, I bought the film and watched it at home. I was a sobbing mess by the end of the film as Rihanna's As Real As You And Me flowed from the TV speakers. I watch this movie about once a week, trying not to cry as the movie begins. Something about this movie hits an emotional spot for me. I do not know why, but I love the movie.
With some animated films, I feel the plot is weak or I feel that it is a marketing ploy to sell toys. Not in this case. I felt that this was a well planned story. And the music melts me. I just bought the soundtrack this evening. I haven't paid for music since the days of Napster and BearShare.
Give the movie a chance. Your box of tissues need to be held once in a while. :)
Ender's Game (2013)
Complete trash!
Honestly, I couldn't even be bothered with this film after 15 minutes. I am a science fiction fan. I even enjoy (as stupid as it may be) the Resident Evil franchise. But this film had me falling asleep. I have been having issues with being able to fall asleep for WEEKS, but I may have found the cure! This film takes you on a journey of boredom and self-hate (because you spent any sort of money to see it). Do I know the ending? Nope, never got that far. Now, granted, I watched two other movies tonight. I saw American Hustle and Saving Mr. Banks....then I saw Ender's Game. Honestly, I should have stopped at the first two...they were great. There was absolutely nothing memorable about Ender's game. Thankfully, the author of the book is a douche bag, homophobic that instigated a boycott of the film AND the film sucked on levels that even HOOVER envies, so there shall not be a sequel that is thrust upon the unintelligent public. Don't bother even illegally downloading this film. It is a waste for even existing.
Devil's Playground (2010)
Did I just step in dog sh*t? Oh...nope...Just finished watching Devil's Playground. Thought I smelled crap!
This may or may not contain spoilers, but who cares...This movie was just bad so I wouldn't be spoiling anything cause the movie is already like curdled milk.
At no point did I find the acting by ANY of the actors to be even remotely believable. They have random monologues for the sake of........'monologuing', it would seem. And, Danny Dyer, as cute as he is, seemed stiff as a board (not in a good way) throughout the whole film. It was almost as if he was forgetting his blocking. Fairbrass was, at very most, excruciatingly stereotypical. The writer tried to give him a back story...by repeating the same scene over and over for you to only find out why his character felt so bad about killing people. I think I was supposed to feel.....something...but I am not sure what and the most I felt was confused and annoyed.
The undead are bland. Half of them run like Olympic Track Stars while others run like Special Olympic Walmart Greeters. I think the director should have made a clear point as to how the undead should move, that way all of the :::cough::: actors were on the same page.
Apparently, when evacuating London during a massive catastrophe, only 1 street has backed up traffic....for a block...with a lane blocked off for road construction, though nothing was actually being done. After you get beyond that grueling traffic jam that was at a stand still for that one block, it is smooth sailing out of London. No worries, folks, the undead won't get you, but by bumping your car into the vehicle ahead of you, you're going to DESTROY your vehicle. Cars aren't made like they used to be made.
Props change faster than I can switch underwear, boyfriends, or the snooze length on my alarm clock...which is quite impressive. Hammers turn into guns that turn back into hammers...which, I suppose, isn't so far fetched assuming Bumble Bee and Optimus have lent you a few of their team...though, changing into a Hammer is fairly lame.
Whatever they used to film this movie with, they should have spent the time kicking around their camcorder like a soccer ball. It would have been used more effectively that way. It would appear, during post-production, the crew got together, got drunk, passed out, woke up, realized they'd done nothing to assist the film in it's stylizing or ambiance, but were too hung-over to care at that point. I was highly aware of several set-lights being used during night scenes. I didn't know that a fishing shed in the middle of the woods would be so well lit at night from so many angles.
Regardless of all of this, I spent most of my time watching the background for people who were not actually part of the film but just happened to be caught by the camera. Check out the office buildings, the couple behind the news reporter, traffic heading into London, traffic IN London, and any more.
I am not saying you shouldn't watch this movie. By all means, watch it if you want to watch it. I recommend this to those with insomnia. Works like a charm!
Shark Night 3D (2011)
Even fast-forwarding wasn't enough!
I tried to give this movie a chance even after hearing SEVERAL bad reviews for it. I figured it might be humorous like Piranha 3D (Didn't much like that one either...but at least I didn't fast-forward). This movie takes itself far too seriously. There is absolutely no character development. The stereotypes and cheep "scares" are so bland that you cringe just sitting through them. Even the shark attacks were droll. You actually don't really see the shark attack...you just see the water slosh and then red coloring comes to the top (sometimes). Yes, there is even a kill in the movie where you don't see any blood...just splashing and frothing water. =/ On top of that, the dialogue is tiresome. I found myself checking Facebook, IMDb, E-mail, and whatever else I could find online during the "heart felt" monologues that our leads decide to indulge us in. You know who will survive immediately after the film starts. The only African American in the film doesn't actually die first, but he does wield a spear. And the only Latin American character is the first to get it...frothing in bloodless water...LMAO. So cheers. Save your time. Don't even torrent this movie.
Heroes (2006)
Something to get addicted to!
There are a lot of television shows that hit the air waves every year. Most fall flat within their first season, but Heroes seems to have stepped above the failing ideas and has won it's place as one of the best shows to come out in years.
The first season opens with average people realizing that they have far from average abilities. The second season shows us the history of such an evolution in humanity as well as the evolutions these characters are still going through.
I rate this 8 out of ten for a few reasons. The main one being that some of the episodes can seem a bit sluggish. There is a lot of information to this show and sometimes it seems that the writers thought we needed a break from everything they were throwing at us. Well, I can say truthfully...Bring It On!!!! The second season was a bit confusing as well, especially towards the middle of the shortened season. Those things are mild though. We can't all want and like the same things.
The good points are...The filming of this is amazing! The locations are mesmerizing. And they never skip on quality when it comes to stunts and action. You get very attached to these characters because they make you look at them as real people with real lives for the most part. The story is captivating with something to hold you to the end every time.
If you find that you dislike the show, I don't recommend Lost or 24 (though you are more than able to like those shows as opposed to Heroes...don't get me wrong). But to be honest, if you find that Heroes isn't grabbing you like it has with millions of other viewers, Two and a Half Men, One Tree Hill, and Prison Break will be playing in the same time slots on other stations. ENJOY!
Bring It On: In It to Win It (2007)
Bring It On: In It To Win It (Major Spoilers)
I must say, first of all, that Bring It On: All Or Nothing is my favorite thus far (Hayden Panettiere is exquisite), but this movie was in close second.
The fourth installment of Bring It On was intended to go back to it's old roots with character development and storyline. The movie has many references to West Side Story (As was the intention). With two rival teams, the Sharks and the Jets, you can expect a lot of bitterness. Of course, what would a Bring It On movie be without rival teams, right? Well, here is the thing:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SPOILERS BELOW~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The two rival teams show up at Cheer Camp at Universal Studios. The West Coast Sharks and the East Coast Jets are put in the same group, of the two major groups that exist at the cheer camp, under a very insane cheer coach. Jets have won the competition three years in a row with the Sharks coming in second every time. Well the sharks are determined to win this year. Then one of the leads unwittingly falls for a guy for the opposing team. Anarchy ensues. Huzzah! The two teams, after much fun drama, decide to have a "cheer rumble - no touching" and we go on our West Side Story idea. Members of both teams are injured and are told they need to go home. Well, the Sharks and Jets struggle with the idea of forming one team to have enough members to compete, and from here on, you are going to have to watch the movie!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~END SPOILERS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The acting is great for a STV (straight to video) movie, the stunts are amazing, and the storyline is amazingly well constructed. If you hated the second and third bring it on, or even just the second (yes, it was disappointing, but for some reason i still love it), give this fourth one a try. You may or may not like it, but with reviews like this, how could you not at least rent it, eh? Ciao