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Aurora Teagarden Mysteries: A Game of Cat and Mouse (2019)
Awful
How awful? Well you actually want anyone who attempts to murder the main character to succeed.
Yes, Prime Minister (2013)
Awful, just simply awful
Rumour has it that the BBC turned this show down, probably the best decision their commissioning team has ever made. The whole thing is a mess, badly written jokes badly (over)acted.
The remake has its roots in a stage farce and it sadly shows.
GOLD made two mistakes with this show, one commissioning it in the first place then the massive error of scheduling it just ahead of far superior original, which makes this look like a relic from the 70's.
There is room for a good, new political satire, especially with The Thick Of It possibly coming to an end, but badly remaking a classic is not the way to go.
My advice, if you feel the need to watch this don't. wait until the show is over and watch the subtle acting of Eddington, Hawthorne and Fowlds, and stop the sadly late former two spinning in their graves...
Titanic (1997)
Unfair criticized, unfairly praised.
Spoilers ahead.
I am writing this after its recent performance in certain polls.
I don't think this deserves to go down as the worst film ever, especially in a poll that includes both Pearl Harbour and Battlefield Earth, (though to be honest the lack of votes may be more to do with a lack of viewers. Now be honest, how many of you have actually watched it, eh).
However, I am not convinced that it should go down as the greatest movie ever. In my humble opinion, there no movie deserves that award.
One of the accusations leveled at the director, is its use of some cliched characters and events. You know the stuff, the poor, but noble steerage, the rich but decedent 1st class. Well to be fair to James Cameron, these cliches are as much apart of the Titanic legend as the sinking itself. In actual fact it would have been near on impossible not to include them.
So on to the movie itself.
It's central narrative is provided by the character of Rose. However Cameron doesn't allow this to stop him showing over, important events and conversations. Even, in the case of conversations on the bridge, there is no way or reason for her to be present.
The movie contains three separate, but interwoven, strands.
Firstly, of course there is the story of the ship and its sinking. Secondary you have the romance between Jack and Rose. Lastly you have the savage operation.
Titanics story is handled fairly well. More could have be made of subplots, Ismay's part in the ships operations for instance. This said it contains enough to satisfy anyone with a casual interest, and to be honest the special effects go a long way to make up for this.
The second strand, the romance between Rose, a 1st class passenger, and Jack Dawson, a steerage passenger, is in my eyes the weakest part of the movie. However I fear that this was more than likely there to help the film get the green light. Ladies looks aware now, fellas, hands up if you cheered when DiCaprio's copse sank near the end?
Lastly, the strand that pulls it altogether. An 102 year old Rose's telling of the story on board the Calvish. Well I liked this idea. Although its not original, it gave the movie some focus, and allowed facts to be spoken, without it breaking up the flow of the dialogue. This also allows for some flashy but impressive editing. Namely moving from the wreck to an intact Titanic, and vice versa.
So what, you may with justification ask, is my verdict. Well to be honest, like the curates egg of legend, good in parts, but still enjoyable. Now all it needs is a proper, well thought out DVD special edition.
The Matrix Revolutions (2003)
I can't believe its not longer.
I was surprised that this film lasted two hours, it felt more like three!!!
Keanu Reeves is Neo, the new Messiah. Hence the he's dressed like a 19th century country priest, and a soundtrack that owes more to handel than John Williams.
Add to this action sequences that look like more trailers for The Matrix video game, and what do yo get?
You get one of the most disappointing movies since, well ever.
The script would have been rejected for a cheap, straight to video clunker, so how how did it get in a multi million pound wannabe epic?
It is evident that the writers ran out of steam half way through, and couldn't finish their ideas properly.
It would have been better to leave the first film with an open ending, and to challenge the viewer to add the rest.
Merlin: The Return (2000)
Not the worse movie I've seen.....
but coming close to it.
This film has possibly on of the worst, and slowest, sword fights in the history of cinema. It was that bad, it looked as though the editor had used footage of a dress rehearsal, instead of the real scene.
Add to this appalling accents, dodgy over the top acting, and cheap sets that looked like early Dr Who/ sixties Star Trek.
If you're an adult watch John Boormans "Excalibur". If you have kids watch the Sam Neil mini-series.
But avoid this at all costs.