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Speak No Evil (2022)
See what happens when you don't listen to your wife?
I was very excited to watch this movie. I saw a lot of reviews online, many people in the horror community hyping it up, and I found the summary interesting enough, so I figured, why not? Let's give it a shot.
For a psychological horror movie, I expected more. I can't tell if it was the acting or the script, but the entire thing fell flat on its face for me. There was tension, but not enough. Most of the dialogue delivery was monotonous and I couldn't get into the dynamics because of it.
The main character, Bjork (my keyboard won't let me do the correct letter and it's too late at night for me to go hunting for it), is just an example of Men That Need To Listen To Their Wives. None of this would've happened if he listened to Louise!
The sets weren't bad, there were pretty shots of nature.
Abel and Agnes deserved better.
XX (2017)
Falls incredibly flat on its face
I really, really wanted to like this. It features Melanie Linskey, after all! I love everything she's in! And I was excited to see an anthology of horror tales told by women. After all, no one knows the horrors of life more than women.
But this was just... not it.
Each segment was meh, in my honest opinion. Just. Meh. I think they all had the potential to be great, but it didn't seem like they had the right direction. Perhaps if they had had better cinematography, a better score. Or if they had been the kind of stories that reward the viewer for paying attention by setting up clues that lead up to some grand reveal...
Instead, it all felt unseasoned. Very disappointed.
The Batman (2022)
Finally, a Bruce Wayne I can enjoy
Seriously, guys. I was never much of a fan of the Batman movies for the main reason that, oftentimes, they paint Bruce Wayne as some badass vigilante who beats up bad people for no reason. And, at least to me, that's not who he is. Sure, he is badass. Yes, he beats up criminals. But he's the World's Greatest Detective!!! Give him a silly little case to solve, please.
This movie conveyed what I believe to be Batman's, and consequently Bruce's, true essence. A little freak who never goes out, brilliant but lacks the ability to communicate pretty much anything, with a drive to protect his city because of what it cost him.
I was also excited not to see the Joker in the movie! And then we got to the end and I was ready to throw my whole laptop out the window. STOP WITH THE JOKER. GIVE ME POISON IVY OR KILLER CROC OR THE CONDIMENT MAN OR HARLEY. ENOUGH OF THE JOKER.
I also loved that Bruce was able to somehow communicate with Alfred. He spent the entire movie acting like Alfred wasn't his dad, if not by blood then by lore.
And speaking of family, could we get some Batfam in here for the sequel? Please? Have the Flying Graysons become the Falling Graysons!! I wanna see lil' 12-year-old Dick becoming Robin and forcing Bruce into becoming a responsible adult.
In my head, the sequel will be set ten years into the future and everyone will be home :) and we'll get lil' Duke, as a treat, although DC doesn't care about timelines so why should I?
Furthermore, the action felt really good in this. I am not a fan of action movies because I often get bored during action sequels, but this movie focused much more on the mystery aspect of things so it was more interesting for me to watch. And the riddles were fun!!
The RIddler himself was great, too. Just another little freak wearing a mask in Gotham.
And Gordon!! He was the MVP in this movie for me, honestly.
The Clearing (2023)
Interesting premise
I am only two episodes in, since that is all that is available so far, but I like it. I find some aspects a bit predictable, but it doesn't take away from the entertainment. The idea of children being kidnapped and brainwashed, not to mention the abuse they endure at the hands of their "caretakers", is quite horrifying. Sarah in particular portrays that horror better than anyone.
I like the alternating timelines. I think it's cool to see what happened in the past and how the events impact them in the present. (Abigail keeping her name as opposed to Freya is very interesting to me). Can't wait to see what happens next!
Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities: Pickman's Model (2022)
am i the only one who is seeing the homoerotic subtext
Come on now. I am not the only one who is seeing this, right? The teasing at the beginning, the playful nickname, how pickman returning after years is like an ex that wants to get back together... I think it's fairly interesting to look at it as if this is, somehow, an allegory for Thurber's sexuality, how he tries to hide it or deny it, etc etc
but aside from that, it's a pretty good episode, in my opinion. We have to give kudos to the artists who painted the pieces we see throughout the episode, and it has very atmospheric, creepy vibes to it. The ending was worth the watch, too, which is more than i can say for a fair lot of the other episodes that just made me go "huh?"