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Reviews
Barbie (2023)
Flabbergasting
When I went to watch this movie, I went to watch it as the amazing combo, Barbinheimer (Barbie and Oppenheimer). I tried my best to avoid spoilers for both of these movies, and let me just say, going into this movie blind made this a phenomenal experience. The way Stereotypical Barbie changes is a pleasant surprise. And the way this movie deals with problems in modern society upfront and, while admittedly toned down a bit, they're all still there. The plot of this movie makes it a fantastic watch, and I was delighted by not only how the jokes were seamlessly thrown in, but the jokes themselves. This movie wasn't only just Kenough. This was so much more than being just Kenough for the children and adults in the audience. The movie's so self-aware, but it isn't the usual type, this is a type of self-awareness that can lead you to view the world differently. The problems Barbie struggles with aren't unreasonable, they're relatable at heart and spread a good message. This movie is wonderful and I highly recommend it.
Oppenheimer (2023)
Sensational
This movie is simply, amazing. The way everything is shot, is just, immaculate. Sure, some scenes with their nudity don't make much sense, but with how the camera moves during the explosions is stunning. While, admittedly, during the explosions I was trying to silently eat some candy, the way the sound imitates something like a sonic boom with all the vibrations is astonishing of how realistic this is. When seeing this movie's premise, you'd think maybe it just end with the explosions and it's done, but it goes for another hour after that. You really get to see everything, and feel bad for Oppenheimer at the end. While, yes, I did watch Barbie right before this (having quite the mood change) I was still amazed at how good this movie was. Great watch as long as you don't mind the 3 or so minutes of nudity spread across the film and you want to just go "Wow" while being on the literal edge of your seat.
Meet Your Meat (2002)
Graphic And Sad
I just watched this. I did not expect anything light-hearted at all, but I did not expect this. This will not convert me to veganism, or being a vegetarian, but it will make my cry. This is one of the few movies, let alone media that has made me cry. Watching this, knowing these animals are in pain, having the narrator describe that they are sentient might as well make this a horror movie. This is not a horror movie for being terrifying because there's a murderer after the protagonist, this is horrifying for knowing this is real. The graphic imagery will almost guaranteed make anyone petrified. My hand was over my mouth the whole time I watched the "cows" and "pigs" section, these sections are horrific when analyzing how these animals are treated and how they die. Please, if you want to be vegan or a vegetarian, don't watch this. This will literally leave you trembling with fear of knowing that what you are for breakfast was once an alive animal who experienced this, despite how outdated these practices may be right now for being a 2 decade old movie, the scene of the pigs crying and getting mutilated will scar me for the rest of my life.
Finding Jesus (2020)
They never find Jesus
Look, I'm not a critic. And also, I just watched this ok Discord with my friends. But, like, really WowNow? These voices are just something else. I feel BAD for the voice actors, I hope they got paid well, because of boy, is this movie a treat. First of all, I don't like the main characters. Bubbles or whatever their name is and Joy. This movie is so bad and forgettable, I can't even remember the MAIN CHARACTERS names. I remember Professor Shark, I remember Mr. Sushi. (Which by the way, having raw fish with fish eggs on it, talking to alive fish is pretty wierd) With his over-done stereotypical Japanese accent is kind of annoying. Also, while I did watch this on YouTube at, like, 0.02 frames per second, the story is also just bed. I can't even mark this for having spoilers because I can't remember the story. All I remember is the plot twist being a joke of how the fish, has the memory of a fish. (Haha "very" funny). I can't remember that much, all I can remember is that this was a slog to get through and I don't recommend anyone to watch this. I know I'm trying to end it here, but the movie just also abruptly stopped at an hour and 8 minutes, almost as if this movie (if I can even call it one) wasn't completed.
The Legend of Sarila (2013)
Decent, but boring
This is Canada's first movie. Does that make this a good movie? No. This is not a "good" movie. Does that make this a bad movie? No. If you want the definition of an okay animated movie this is it. The plot is boring and the Shamen's motivation is questionable. The convoluted story for why the Shamen wants to murder the guy in blue who speaks to the animals is because his (the guy in blue) father was on a hunting mission with the father and didn't protect the Shamen's sons from getting killed. Because the blue guy's father did this the Shamen wants to kill the blue guy for being the next Shamen. The animation looks like a Blue Sky animation from 2004 and there are no trees until an hour through the movie. The characters are also quite bland. But! This is the Mona Lisa compared to some other movies. This is not a "so bad it's good" movie, this is the type of movie a 70 year old would buy for their grandchild. This may be nostalgic for some, but looking at this movie with face value all you can see is a boring movie that doesn't have any action until about 47 minutes in and an unusual amount of blood in what could be considered a "Children's Movie". Even as an adaptation of folktales of Inuits from the 1910s, I still don't think it's a good movie. 5/10, it's the epitomy of mediocrity.
Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010)
Quite hilarious, but boring
In this movie you follow a heartless protagonist with unnecessary scenes. Half the movie is just bird sounds, and the opening is the same stock music for 5 minutes. I understand they had a low budget only being $10,000, but the video quality is the quality I would expect from a 2006 camcorder. The death scenes are not scary or sad at all, and the most emotion I got out of this movie was laughing when a bird just randomly falls on the protagonist's car. I'm not critic, but frankly this is a bad movie. In case you want to watch this for the bad bird CG-I, I wouldn't recommend that either. The first 30 minutes of this movie is an absolute slump to go through. No birds until about 45 minutes in, and you'll waste about 4% of your day watching this. Overall, 1/10. If you want to watch a bad movie and make fun of it, I would recommend this only if you are prepared to make fun of constant reuse of ArrowHead Water, and real companies being used and shown in this movie. For example, the girl wearing the website shirt, and the fairgrounds they go to a little less then halfway through. 1.2/10, I would recommend Russian Disney Pixar rip-offs more then this.