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Reviews
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (2023)
Guys, if you don't support this, DC wins. Think about it.
I just left an almost empty theater. Where were all of you? I get it, you didn't like Love and Thunder (I did) and you witnessed She-Hulk twerking and all the other crap on Disney (I only watched Loki and WandaVision!) so you're tired. But what is the alternative I ask? DC have not released one good universe movie. Not one. Man of Steel doesn't count, that was a Superman movie by its own right and Joker is not part of the cinematic universe. Don't get me started on Wonder Woman. Character and acting - fantastic, movie as a whole - poor. I love Batman as much as the next man but I'm not watching Flash because DC don't deserve it after all the crap they have put out, all the years of betrayal. Adding in Keaton is a cheap shot, I'm not falling for that.
GOTH3 is very good. I want to ask you all to remember how you felt when Iron Man came out, or Captain America - look, these aren't even highlights for me, but based on a few tattered comics from my childhood I went along for the ride, watched most of these offerings and was awarded with Thor 1, GOTG1 and Infinity War. So yes, Marvel have made some unbelievable trash, including The Marvels (I'm calling it) but this movie is something else and I think you all should give Marvel another chance.
For those of you who have lost faith after the giant starfish movie, I think Gunn just needed to get a few 'bad' movies out of his system. This movie is so good I'm not even going to compare it with anything else - it stands as a more than solid piece of entertainment and once again I'm glad to be in the age of Marvel.
Killing Gunther (2017)
4.8? WTH man?, this was great!
Ok - the marketing guys messed up. They should not have promoted Arnie in the promotional material and perhaps should have gotten a heavier hitter as the lead. I myself was put off after finding out that Arnie only had 11 minutes run time.
But guys - this is a good movie. Well I enjoyed it significantly better than Avatar Way of Water which I would give a 7 so its an 8 from me.
The sad truth is that this film doesn't even need Arnie (who was my favorite actor for a while) but in a few ways (esp with the marketing) hinges on it. The film is a blast. Its quite funny - its believable in its own world, the documentary style is very effective and the characters are 'LIKABLE'.
In reality this film is more like a 7.5 which puts it on the same level as Ant Man Quantumania but holy hell - 4.8? Are you kidding me right now?
If you are a true Arnie fan or like films like Shoot Em Up you wont be bothered that Arnie is only at the end. Its a good film and I really hope they get to do a sequel.
Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (2022)
"Now", the year starts.
Ok, so its better than every Disney movie ever made with the exception of The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast,Lion King, Alladin and Dumbo. Its better than Afro Samurai. If I wasn't such a Sonic fanatic, it would possibly be better than both of them. I guess I have to thank Avatar 2 because I needed something to wash the 7/10 taste out of my mouth and boy oh boy did this film @*!#@ deliver. Imagine a film that captures the feeling of the best parts of FF7 (the original) when you played it for the very first time. Imagine film that treats you like a person instead of a complete idiot like most films do. Imagine a film that respects your childhood, similarly I guess to Shrek, but with no cheating this time. I'm blown away completely. Its a 10/10 from me. This is probably Antonio Banderas, best role since Desperado. Thank you DreamWorks - 2023 officially has a great film.
Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (2022)
In my top 10 of all time.
This movie is incredible. I'll just get this out of the way and say that I recognize that its not a 'perfect' movie in the traditional sense. But it is perfect to me. It makes the first film almost average by comparison its so good.
My top ten used to be The Terminator, Vanilla Sky, Aliens, Willow, Ace Ventura 2, Beauty and the Beast, Wicker Park, Unforgiven, Eternal Sunshine and Very Bad Things, sorry VBT but Sonic 2 is now my all time seventh best movie.
Jim Carrey is just excellent - in the first movie it felt like he was imitating himself a little - which I was fine with. In this one he is full on 90's Carrey with some very good material to work with. Despite him eating up quite a few scenes however he does not steal the limelight from our main hero who is very well fleshed out and a delight to journey with.
Even the catering to the general audience was done brilliantly - something I usually roll my eyes over - but here it was done so well that I actually found myself a little lost in the sub-characters situations and stories.
Sonic 2 was my all time favorite game until FF7 rudely kicked its butt to the curb, but I am die hard Sonic and Sega. There were times when the movie threatened to prolong a concept or joke but unbelievably the cuts and pacing are so perfect that nothing overstays its welcome. I'm sorry, I know its not Godfather, but this movie is beyond awesome.
I could not have asked for more and if the team are reading this, I just want to say Congratulations and well done. You did it.
Cobra Kai (2018)
Season 1, then quit.
No, no, no. Watch Season 1 and then run. Season 1 is so good that sometimes I think its better than Breaking Bad Season 1. Season 2 starts off ok and a few episodes it there is a dramatic shift - it feels like all the original writers have suddenly been axed. I know that I am in the minority and I appreciate that kids may be able to identify with the themes of bullying presented across the seasons - to be quite honest I cant think of another film or series that covers it in as much 'depth'. But the writing is horrible and the situations are contrived.
2 and 3 are either atrocious or too childish to enjoy. 4 I am halfway through, I had to pause and reactivate my account just to put up this review. They keep throwing little bags of nostalgia at me so I cant stop watching but Season 4, though miles ahead of Season 2 and 3 in quality is still pretty bad - I liken it to Milla Jovovich movies (I am actually a big fan of hers, not a hater) before she did the 5th Element. Its that bad.
You really need to love Karate Kid to get through this. You have to adore it to ****, pardon my French. To give you an idea of my tastes, my top five movies are The Terminator, Vanilla Sky, Aliens, The Count Of Monte Cristo (1975), and Very Bad Things
The four stars are mostly for Season One. Not so bad as to be heartbreaking, but bad enough for me to be embarrassed to be wasting my time watching it.
Death at a Funeral (2010)
Its not that baaaad!
Look, I've seen some pretty bad excuses for films. I've witnessed a lot of cinematic "black movie" tragedies, like "Soul Plane" and others I don't even bother trying to remember. I feel as if people are not being fair with this film.
Yes, it is quite poor, in relation to comedies like "A Fish Called Wanda" and the like, but that does not mean that it will fail to entertain you. I believe that this film is best watched tired with low expectations and I almost guarantee that you will find a few laughs and not get bored with events.
The acting is quite poor, but succeeds because it is sometimes laughably poor and the actors take their characters in a daft script seriously. The story succeeds because it makes absolutely no sense and has the audacity to keep heaping it on without apology. And the set and filming are great, more than functional.
So, not really a film I could seriously recommend to anyone, but if you do come across it, give it a try, I doubt you'll find it a waste of your time.
The Taking of Pelham 123 (2009)
Was this by Tony Scott, or Michael Bay?
I can't believe how bad this film is. It is so truly remarkable. The film is so bad it is almost as bad as a Michael Bay movie. Yes it is that terrible. This film is disguised as a seat of your pants blockbuster thriller. There are quite a few reasons why the film fails to pull this off.
First of all, the acting is unbearable. This is by far the worst acting I have seen by Travolta in his career. He comes off as very forced and lacking in any genuine emotion. He also fails to give any depth to his character and as such, does not come off as a serious threat to the audience. Second is Denzel, who actually does a great deal better, but puts in just enough of himself to allow us to keep watching. Thus Denzel's performance compared to his other films is quite wooden.
Secondly, the plot is horrible. I know this is a remake, and I haven't seen the original, but these days it is possible to jazz up a boring plot with whichever mechanics are applicable, be it a colourful script or the subtle use of storytelling gimmicks and effects. Because the story is mundane and the script is cheesy and unsatisfying, I did not care about anyone in the film. I did not want the good guys to win. I did not want the bad guys to win, I just wanted the film with two of my favorite actors of all time to just end as quickly as possible, so that I could remove it from my film collection.
Thirdly the music. To its credit, the music is not bad, but when combined with the low standard of the film, it comes across as a lie, trying to make us believe that the film is as 'epic' as the score would lead us to believe. If they had played down on the soundtrack and used dramatic sound effects/music at specific turning points in the movie, it would not have saved it, but would at least bring it up to an average level so that the participants could save some face.
I tried watching this film at least three times, and each time, it put me to sleep. Now I have finally watched it and I am utterly dismayed at this below par effort. 42% And I shudder to think of how bad it would have been if they had not included such prestigious actors.
From Paris with Love (2010)
And this is what passes for entertainment these days.....
This type of film is exactly the reason I created my own top 250 on Flixter. Of course its not IMDb's fault for the deceptively high ratings of certain movies, but rather the individuals who rate them. Granted, this film compared to other films of late (apart from Inception and Toy Story 3) is pretty good, but when you compare it with classics such as Luc Bessons own "Leon", films like "The Good The Bad and The Ugly" and "Godfather", one cannot really give this film more than a 3.5.
To me, I felt that the dialogue was cheesy, awkward at times and a bit annoying. Travolta's character was overbearing - he would have been much cooler if he just shut up for ten seconds - and the other dude was so clueless it was extremely tiring to watch his character.
The plot is not too bad. I feel as if it was wasted, this move could have at least reached a 6.5 in my books.
This movie is very poor. I feel like I have wasted time, even though I type these words whilst recovering from a bad cold. Travlota really needs to sit up. He is falling off in a very bad way.
A Fish Called Wanda (1988)
A classic!
This is one of the movies I wasn't allowed to watch as a kid. I've always been sceptical of this movie, thinking that those that gave it such high praise were just reflecting from nostalgia. I just watched it, and I can safely say that it is a classic comedy. Watching this movie makes you wonder why you put up with the lame excuses for comedies that are routinely shoved into our faces.
I'm starting to think that movies that do not set out to prove a point or project some societal dilemma into the minds of the viewer are the best type of movies. Because they are pure entertainment and are free in their expression.
There are very few movies that I have found funnier than this one, and most of those few are just funny because they are plain stupid. This is a perfect example of how to make a comedy.
It is amazing how the director not only allows us to identify with each character (and there are many!) but "tricks" us into empathising with and cheering on the lead characters, who are all morally bankrupt. As such, it is escapism at its finest.
I'll have to watch this again, but it may just take first place over my currently favourite comedy, "Trading Places."
What Love Is (2007)
Bad movies should stay bad and stop pretending to be good.
I feel with the experience and knowledge I have acquired about good movies that it is my responsibility to steer people away from disgraceful attempts at entertainment. I have watched a number of bad movies, but none have profoundly irritated me as much as What Love Is.
First off, the dialogue. It is totally unrealistic. The director wishes to portray these characters as being very smart and witty, but instead it transpires as a poor stage performance on fast forward disguised as a film. And its not that they are too fast to keep up with. They are fast like the blur of a trashy sports car at top speed before it crashes into a restaurant and kills everyone inside. It's a bloody mess.
Next off, the characters. They are unlikeable. I don't like them. You won't either. They are very stereotypical, and the fact that they are so consciously aware of their persona does not add to their charm, but just makes the whole performance tiresome. They say and portray nothing interesting and in the rare instances that they do say something, it is totally devoid of normal human portrayal and response that it does not even register, unless you keep pausing the film to think about the truth between the banalities. I can't believe Matthew Lillard, I was very satisfied with his performance in Wicker Park, could not believe it was the same person.
Every one of these guys is overacting. I expect this from Cuba Gooden Jr, because he can't act, but not from the rest. They all act like Ace Ventura without the humour. I hate these guys guts so bad that if a nuclear bomb had gone off in the middle of the room after the first thirty minutes, I would have requested that this film get an Oscar. What angers me the most is that the film pretends to be so smart, but the "point" that is trying to be expressed has been done a million times before and a million times better, often with powerful subtlety that keeps the stuff in you head. It tries to be revealing, but just ends up looking dumb.
There is a scene with a bunch of women, which tries to be as "smart" as the guy scene, but is unbelievably worse.
I had become slightly worried over the years that I was becoming so desensitised by foul language in the media that it perhaps had no effect on me any more. But this film proved that theory wrong. There is too much swearing in this movie. I find it unjustified and offensive.
This film is also racist. I'd like to think unconsciously so, with the good guy being black to try and balance the equation. I don't get how the result can be this blatant in modern cinematography, however.
I have to give this film a one. There is no other choice. If it wasn't trying so hard and insulting my intelligence, I would gladly give it a four. If the film actually made me smile more than once, I wouldn't have to subtract a point for boredom. If it wasn't so racist, I wouldn't have had to subtract an additional point. This is the worst film I have seen, and I can't even laugh at how bad it is.
Did You Hear About the Morgans? (2009)
The very definition of Average.
There is only one reason I decided to watch this movie. Hugh Grant. I knew that this movie would be a total waste of my time. Does it deserve its IMDb rating? No, that's just some unjustified hate right there. But this is by far the worst Hugh Grant movie I've ever seen.
I'm not going to waste your precious time by going into the intricacies of the plot and explaining exactly why this movie should not have been made. It simply has nothing going for it. No funny scenes (although one scene did make me smile slightly), absolutely no chemistry and a boring and predictable story. What is the point of starting something when you know how its going to end? I get more angry with average flicks than I do with crap movies, because at least you can vent anger with crap and give it the verbal pummelling it deserves. This film is just another leaf in the wind, barely noticeable and I have wasted almost 2 hours of my life forcing my eyes to witness this mediocre attempt at cinematography.
Yes it has Hugh Grant (And Sarah Jessica Parker for fans of that series that I can't even remember). But trust me when I say, don't do it.
Iron Man 2 (2010)
Burn, Hollywood, burn.
This film actually deserves a seven, but I subtracted an additional two points to cater for my disappointment. This film, in contrast to most other good superhero movies I've seen (such as Watchmen, Dark Knight, Unbreakable) is almost a disaster, saved by good acting and distracting action sequences.
Now, I'm not a fan of the comics or the character in any incarnation whatsoever, but I was pleasantly surprised by the last outing. It broke some rules, had pretty decent character development, was funny in places and had a worthy showdown. I admire Iron Man 2 for picking up exactly where the last film left us, but....
The first issue I have is with the characters. We all know that our main man likes to talk and quip and all that, but in this film, he talks too much, and doesn't have that much to say either. The co-stars inject a presence into the movie - in a bad way. In an effort to stay out of the shadows they have all become larger than life. There is no subtlety in this film at all. The worst culprit of this is the rich bad guy (not going to bother remembering his name) who is constantly plastered on our screen with no meaningful buildup and no real purpose.
I did like the lightning striking meanie. Though I thought he was a bit "too" human. I say this because he blunders at certain points and then switches to a mastermind in others. I don't like that.
The soundtrack is acceptable, the acting is very good and action sequences and CGI are well put together, I suppose. But everything else, the script, character development, humour, chemistry, etc is not very impressive at all.
Not a film I would want to have in my collection and I feel so disappointed that I am contemplating removing the first Iron Man from my collection as I know now that it is not a film that can be give added value by its sequels.
2012 (2009)
Ignore The Critics
I can appreciate a good deep movie as well as anyone. I also appreciate character development and subtle, intricate plot lines with exploding ramifications. I do not pretend, however, that this is what I want every single time I watch a movie. This movie does not pretend either.
I get the feeling that everyone is throwing tomatoes at this because, in the light of the global crisis we are all experiencing, people expected depth and perhaps to shed a tear. I was expecting something as bad, if not worse than "Transformers 2". But after the first 10 minutes, the film told me what I was going to get, pure unadulterated non stop action, and nothing else.
So, as an action movie, it is one of the best I've seen, and is better as an action movie than "Men In Tights" is as a spoof. It is a very real example of how to utilise current technological and theatrical advances without showing off, as in "Transformers 2" or "Bad Boys 2".
This film can be described as a continuous cliffhanger spectacle with a sprinkle of characters for seasoning. And anyone with skills of perception should be able to switch their mindset in the first ten or fifteen minutes.
A true Blockbuster.
Inglourious Basterds (2009)
Best film ever.
I don't throw those words around lightly. Prior to watching..., witnessing this movie, my all time favourite was "The Terminator", followed by "Pulp Fiction" and then "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly".
All I wanted was a film that surpassed "Resevoir Dogs" so I could walk away happy. But after each 20 minutes or so, my top 5 started to cake and crumble even more. I hate that my favourite film is now from 2009. I cry for "The Terminator" as it is a glorious piece of cinematography. But if you are rating based on "bang for buck", "script and delivery", "casting" and "awards to the viewer", I can't think of anything else out there that comes close.
I do realise what I'm saying, "Heat", "Vallina Sky", "Leon", and the film I dare not mention, lest I get taken to the mattresses. It is hard to get to grips with, but fact is fact.
This is Brad Pitt's best performance since "Snatch". Christopher Waltz is a better bad guy than Heath Ledger. And the sub-characters all feel like they deserve to be in the front row as well.
I have no gripes whatsoever with this movie and Tarantino is now my all time favourite director, and I place him where he belongs proudly, right on top of Luc Besson.
96%