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Reviews
Flood (2007)
Oh come off it...
Reading some of the reviews unjustly maligning this film...I have to ask you armchair critics: what were you expecting? "Flood" is a DISASTER MOVIE, for Pete's sake, we're not talking high art here. As far as disaster flicks go -I'm a big fan- this one pretty much covered all the bases: clichés (once again, the scientists say "I told you so!" ala "The Day After Tomorrow" and "Earthquake"; estranged relationships that the disaster naturally redeem), terrible over-dramatic dialogue, wooden characters, classic nick-of-time/deux ex machina action, but the effects were impressive. The book it is based on aside, I could definitely see elements of both 9/11 and post-Katrina New Orleans here. Sure, the authorities in "Flood" avoid some of the obvious solutions, but that would sort of defeat the purpose of the film, no? Granted, I wouldn't quite put "Flood" up there with classics in the genre such as "The Towering Inferno" or the original "Poseidon Adventure" (the remake...now THAT was a terrible movie!), but it's a damn sight better than such laughably bad (and tedious) disaster movies such as "The Swarm" and "When Time Ran Out...". Check those ones out, folks, and I'll guarantee you'd have a new appreciation for "Flood".
What can I say? "Flood" was good escapist fun. If you're looking for "Lawrence Of Arabia" type quality, watch "Lawrence Of Arabia". And, for what it's worth, I had to force myself to finish watching that puppy...cinematography aside, I thought it was drier than stale melba toast, but I digress...
The Simpsons Movie (2007)
I've seen better episodes...
Okay. I consider myself a die-hard Simpsons junkie, ever since I got cheesed off that they interrupted an episode (the one where Mr Burns hits Bart with his car, as I recall) with the news that the first Persian Gulf war had started. I'm also apparently one of the few people who doesn't think that the show sucks now, though I do agree it's not as consistent since about season 8 or so. Really, there are only maybe a dozen episodes or so that I truly detest. Unfortunately, if "The Simpsons Movie" was an episode of the TV show, it would probably make #13 on my list. The plot -evil EPA puts Springfield under a dome because of the toxicity of its lake- was just ridiculous. Homer and Marge having marital difficulties...sorry, that's been done just about to death. Ah, yes, Homer. In "TSM" Homer is at his quintessential moronic worst pretty much for the duration (his antics of adopting a pig -against the family's wishes- and dumping the piggy poop in the lake causing the pollution and aforementioned EPA reaction)to the point where you just want to shoot him...and I love Homer; can forgive him almost anything! But in the movie his stunts are just annoying, and that is my biggest complaint. Sure, there's a good amount of typical Simpsons political tweaking (such as Lisa's "An Irritating Truth" seminar, an obvious parody of Al Gore) but been as the whole premise of the plot is so over the top I found myself merely smirking rather than LMAO, which is my usual response to the subversive humour found on the show. I understand the producers brought together the best of the show's writers to write the movie- could have fooled me. And, considering that they probably had a big enough budget I noticed more then a few lapses in the animation, especially in the scenes where the whole town of Springfield has formed (yet another) lynch mob to go after Homer: for a few brief seconds you can tell that it is CGI 3D rather than normal animation. I found myself going "Tsk, tsk" at this shabby production. All told, I was very disappointed. Granted, I was not expecting "Last Exit To Springfield" caliber greatness with the Simpsons movie (I think we all knew better than that) but I was expecting it to be better than it was, and ultimately I'd be tempted to put the final product in the ballpark of "The Principal And The Pauper", which even the show's writers and voice actors consider one of the worst episodes. In the end, I'd say "The Simpsons Movie" is worth seeing once, but I can only hope that they do better with the inevitable "Simpsons Movie II".
The Swarm (1978)
I don't know...I've seen a lot worse...
"Disaster" movies, along with gangster flicks, have always been my favourite movie genres. Having said that, I admit it was with a bit of apprehension that I threw "The Swarm" into the DVD player. The film has received such a bad rap over the years that I wasn't quite sure what to expect (so bad/cheesy it's funny was what I was prepared for.) Well...to my surprise -and, I admit, pleasure- I quite liked it. Sure, you have to suspend your disbelief a hell of a lot, and the two and a half hour length seems a bit tedious at times (as it will with most long movies), but I've seen movies that were a lot worse. Too many, in fact, to list here, and I'm not a really picky film-goer. As part of the disaster genre (and, yes, "The Swarm" ultimately struck as being more of a homage to old 50's sci-fi), sure, it's no "Poseidon Adventure" or "Towering Inferno", but I'd say it's in the same ballpark. As for the film itself, you have to admit that the cast is pretty impressive (I mean, Henry Fonda as the self-sacrificing immunologist?) even if Michael Caine does gnaw on the scenery a bit too much at times (as most great actors seem prone to do more often than most). Mind you, at least he's rewarded by being one of the few characters (I believe there's only two) who make it all the way to the end of the thing. Sure, some of the dialogue is a little ridiculous ("The bees have always been our friends...") and overly melodramatic but that's par for the course in these types of films. Of course, I could have done without the elderly love triangle subplot (don't think I'm alone there) and I thought the whole train wreck bit was overly gratuitous, as was the nuclear powerplant exploding and wiping out some 36000 people. And, wouldn't it have been simpler just to drop a bomb on Houston instead of using flamethrowers? But, really, I don't think that using sonic vibrations to lure the bees to their fiery doom was any more of a deux ex machina than blowing the water towers at the end of "The Towering Inferno" was. Honestly, as far as the people who endlessly criticize this movie go, what were you expecting? "Citizen Kane Part II"? Sorry, it's a disaster movie, folks, and, thinking about it now, no less outlandish or ridiculous than, say, "The Day After Tomorrow". Matter of fact, I liked "The Swarm" more...