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evermanofgod
Reviews
The Acolyte (2024)
Stop hate watching. Let it sink.
Look, it's pretty. No one doubts the graphics are pretty. The script is garbage, but you knew it was going to be garbage. So let's just agree that we know the kind of content Disney is going to put out and just stop watching. When they don't have any viewers except they're very small community that likes this content, they'll stop making it and start caring about the quality again. But seriously though y'all, we have to stop giving in to them over and over. If you know it's going to be bad, don't watch it. If you know you're not going to enjoy it, don't watch it. Or wait until you find it in a random $5 movie bin when they are just trying to get rid of it. If you're tired of the content they keep trying to shove down our throats, quit giving them your view hours. Let them feel it.
Scott Pilgrim Takes Off (2023)
Script sounds like fanfiction
I'll try to keep this brief without spoilers. It does not live up to the old movie. The major plot twist and change in the story doesn't happen until the very end of the first episode. When it does, the characters don't seem very fazed by it compared to the emotion you would expect them to feel. As cool as it is that they brought the original actors back for the voiceovers, they oftentimes overanimate character reactions compared to line delivery. But the biggest problem that I have is a cliche storyline trope introduced at the end of episode 6 and the beginning of episode 7.
Let me be very clear! Episode 4 was beautiful. If the whole series was like episode 4, I don't think I would have so many complaints.
I don't know, I just had a hard time finding it very valuable beyond being another female self-love lesson.
Ted Lasso (2020)
Would be a 10 if it was only one season
I don't like shows very much, so I really mean it when I say season 1 was a 10. Excellent character development, wasn't preachy, made me care about soccer for the first time in my life, characters were unique without feeling like cliche tropes. And who doesn't love Nate?! My only complaint is Keely and Jamie were kind of gross. Other than that, stellar. I'll be watching season 1 again.
Then season 2. Good Lord season 2. I don't care about Rebecca's sexual flings, Beard's weird drug trip episode ruined the quiet mystery that made his character interesting, typical environmentalism trope, typical anti-racism trope, very little focus on the sport, and a ridiculous nonsensical poorly written breakup at the end of the season. And everybody hates Nate. Therapist lady was good, Ted is fine as always, and Dani Rojas is perfect.
I wish I could say season 3 fixed all of the problems and I felt like it was going to the first two episodes, but man. Don't get me wrong, massive improvements from season 2, but even if you deleted season 2 and just had seasons 1 and 3, I'd still be disappointed in 3. We pushed the gay and lesbian relationships hard this season, still spent very little time playing ball, In the last three episodes were very lackluster. I really wanted to love season 3 the way I did season 1, but it's just like every other good Hollywood production that starts with a solid story and then gets preachy. Just tell a good story and let us figure the rest out.
The Chosen: Spirit (2021)
My youth students were either angry or laughing
I've been doing this series with my students where we watch an episode one week and the next week we talk about the Bible passages that inspired the episode. Usually we find it pretty accurate and the students love the show. Until this episode. This so far has been the least biblically accurate, the cheesiest script, just a baby bit heretical, and the most poorly acted episode in the series so far. Which is really sad, because the show has been excellent so far. The chosen has so far not shied away from dark or intense scenes, so the demon possession sequence could have been a little more creative, more intense. But the main issue I have is the vast amount of biblical inacuracies. I'm hoping the rest of the show is better than this episode and it was just a one-time fluke, but I will not be one of those people who praises a show or movie just because it's Christian. Be better, guys.
Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)
Just admit it. You came for the boobs.
Gary oldman is by far my favorite actor and I love every role I've seen him in. Except this one. With all of the Dracula and vampire content out there, there's really only three that have stood the test of time : The original book which began the whole saga, the 1929 movie which deviated from the book but brought this suspenseful character to the screen, and then this. This movie which is hailed as being a paramount of writing and directing, so long as you haven't read the book. The only good writing in this story is the source material, and all of the sexual exploits are not original to the story. The closest we get from Bram stoker's book is a vague illusion to Lucy's history and the teasing nature of the female vampires. Beyond that there's not really anything unique or spectacular about the film. Well except that every female character shows her boobs and sleeps with someone.
Carrie (1976)
Maybe the book is scary
I have long heard that this movie is one of the scariest movies ever made and that it is a directorial masterpiece that set the stage for modern horror. Absolutely none of that is true.
Part of what marks 1970s horror movies is terrible acting. Specifically Priscilla pointer does probably one of the worst performances I've seen in a horror movie. Quite a few of the characters feel like they are a spoof of 1970s horror movie acting.
The writing is not necessarily solid either. The concept is there, don't get me wrong. It's just that the script itself is not very compelling.
But of course the biggest thing I hear about the film is the directing and how it changed the way movies were filmed. You maybe could make an argument for the spinning platform during prom, but none of the rest of the film is unique, even during or before it's time.
My biggest issue is definitely that it's not scary (except for maybe the very last scene in the final minute and a half). Even though I hate Halloween, I get why some people are scared by it. I don't see what's scary about this movie. There's not jump scares, you feel too much compassion for Carrie, the main scene of the movie is a little too goofy to be scary, and the concept is not in and of itself scary. I just don't get it.
For a comparison of movies I thought actually were scary, I present: The exorcist, Ju On the grudge, Ringu The Thing 1982, As Above So Below, The babadook, The shining, Night of the living Dead, and scream.
Honogurai mizu no soko kara (2002)
An excellent ghost story, just not terrifying.
One of the markers of a great ghost story is the equal possibilities of the haunting being real and of the haunting being entirely in the mind of the one being haunted. This film does a pretty good job of making you believe the haunting is real while it's possible this mother and daughter might be imagining the things they are seeing due to their traumatic histories. I would not count this as a spoiler because, as I said, it's the marker of a great ghost story to not be sure whether or not one is being followed. If there is a downside to this movie, it would be that it's not a movie that haunts you in your sleep and it can be a little predictable to people familiar with j horror. It's an excellent drama, the child actor is actually very good, the script is well written, It doesn't rely on jump scares, the concept is solid, and the movie leaves off at a very satisfying point.
The Lion King 1½ (2004)
You remembered wrong. Sorry.
You guys remember how these guys were the best characters of the original movie and how even with all of the other Disney sequels this one seemed stand head and shoulders above the rest? Yeah we were a bunch of dumb kids.
Sadly it's not nearly as funny or clever as we thought when we were younger, which is true of most movies we see when we are kids. Still though, the legend of this movie seems to outlive the actual film itself.
To give some context, my wife wanted to rewatch piglet's big movie to relive some childhood memories. She turned it off and said she wanted to watch something better, and both of our minds went to this movie. Then we turned it off. Definitely very shallow characters which is sad because the source material is so rich.
Avengers: Endgame (2019)
I waited 4 years before watching. Wasn't long enough.
I went into this movie knowing that I tend to be overly critical about movies and especially superhero movies. However, I promise a friend I would watch it, so fulfilled my promise. I will start with a few positives to make the marvel goons happy. I would definitely say it's not a bad movie. The script is okay, there's nothing super disjointed about it, most of it makes sense, and Tony Stark is still Tony Stark. Even some of the action sequences were fairly good and fresh.
Now let's talk about the reasons that bring marvel fans to the point of writing death threats. This film was a ton of buildup for a very disappointing end. The biggest disappointment I have is with iron Man's death. Doctor strange and the rest of the film gave it a very large buildup for the moment when Tony dies so I was expecting to cry since over the years he's become my favorite character. Sadly iron Man 3 is more emotional than Tony's death. We spent too much time worried about Hawkeyes stupid family and almost no time killing off the character that started this cinematic universe. My next big problem is the issue I have with every superhero team. In every team you have a Thor who is ridiculously powerful and then you have Hawkeye who should have been dead in the first movie he appeared in. Whenever these weak characters are introduced, they have to dumb down the strong characters or find a way to make the week characters central to the story. It ends up with forcing the audience to like an otherwise unimportant character. Sloppy writing is always the result of forcing the audience to like a character. Additionally, Captain marvel seriously could have instantaneously concluded the movie. No joke, she literally destroys a spaceship In less than 3 seconds, but she gets pimp slapped by Thanos once and is on the ground? Sloppy writing, unrealistic, dumbing down strong characters. The character assassination of Thor is almost criminal. Compare the writing of Thor as a character in his first movie to his character here. You can show a broken character without completely destroying them. And of course the issue I have with 95% of all final battles in any movie is the cheesy grand finale. When you introduce this many characters the audience is supposed to care about and then try to give every one of them a shining moment of glory, you end up with a lot of disjointed, unrelated, unrealistic, and just plain silly action sequences, you open yourself up to one of the cheesiest battle sequences in movie history. There's a way to do it right, like in all three of the Lord of the rings movies, this one just misses. Can honestly say it I wish I didn't watch it, but a promise is a promise.
Shin seiki Evangelion Gekijô-ban: Air/Magokoro wo, kimi ni (1997)
How to get away with murdering a solid concept
Now don't get me wrong I have multiple issues with the ending of the original series and I honestly think this is a better closing to the story. I'll even throw in one positive thing at the end. That being said, I wish the show ended around episode 20, even if abruptly. The problem with the end of the show and this movie is they are far too abstract to make any storytelling sense. Apparently this is an appeal for a lot of hardcore evangelion fans. The problem is there's not enough information to really make sense of the lore and backstory. You will find article after article and wikipage after wiki page of fans trying to make sense of the limited information.
Aside from being insanely confusing and convoluted, it goes a step beyond the original series in oversexualizing middle schoolers. Let's be quite clear on this, these are middle schoolers, being shown naked, nipples included. We should really stop tolerating this kind of child sexualization.
But again back to other issues, a whole half of this movie takes place in shinji's head. If you want a character development story focused on the mental redemption of the main characters, watch Your Lie April or Anohana. Evangelion changes near the end of the series from a storytelling mecha series to an overly introspective philosophical mesh. I like philosophy, but I like storytelling more.
But I did promise one positive. Asuka's story really shines in the first half of this movie. In her case, her introspective moments don't detract from the main story and take up significantly less time. Ranting done,
The Last of Us: When We Are in Need (2023)
Best of the game. Best of the show
I only have one complaint about the episode and it's a very minor one I'll drop at the end, but other than that I wish nothing to change about this episode. First, Winter in the game, then the show.
The Winter segment of the game is possibly the most well written and designed gaming content ever made. A few years ago I bought and read a bunch of screenwriting books to learn all the elements of a well written movie/book. This segment checked all of those boxes. The well developed villians, crisis of belief, good pacing, and all the other bells and whistles.
This. Episode. Kept. ALL of it.
Everything the game got right was kept and the additions enhanced the base story. The issue I've had with the previous episodes is most of the changes try to force you to care about temporary characters that didn't exist in the game or were completely inconsequential. Here, the additional dialogue and characters were still focused on one point: the darkest moment in Ellie's life to this point. Kathleen's character was pointless because she could hace been removed and little would change. The girl in the settlement was the one to break the facade of a post apocalyptic utopia.
I hope the creators look at the success this episode alone is pulling and keep that model. Still pleasantly surprised with the results so far.
The Last of Us: Kin (2023)
Redemption after a lull
Finally! After trudging through episode 3's incredibly non-canonical and unnecessary detour from the main story and after freaking Kathleen finally dies, we reach an episode with zero major flaws. It's pretty obvious for game players that they are already setting up The transition from the first to the second game and I think they're doing it quite nicely. Casting was very good for this episode, writing and acting were on point, and way to go Bella Ramsey for your spot-on performance in the Joel Ellie confrontation. The episode would have suffered greatly if that scene was butchered and she nailed that scene.
The only thing that I would have done was add a little bit more action at the end of the episode, but that seems to be a constant theme for every episode except for episode 5. I honestly think this is my favorite episode of the show so far and I'm excited to see if episode 7 picks up with the DLC content. Nice work HBO.
Psych: Dual Spires (2010)
.....stop rating 10 because you liked Twin Peaks
The appeal of Psych is the same as South Park: every episode is a parody and no one is safe. Well, except for Twin Peaks. There are very few jokes, the over the top serious moments were only mocked on a few occasions, the Psych characters are tamed to the feel of Twin Peaks, the action sequences are minimal compared to the average Psych episode, the Psychic bit is minimal, the writing is clunky, and what's up with that intro remix? It wasn't funny or fitting to the theme.
I get Twin Peaks is good and stealing from it's material means the episode is going to be alright at worst, but this was the least "psychy" of Psych episodes.
The Last of Us: Endure and Survive (2023)
Near perfect EXCEPT FOR FREAKING KATHLEEN!
Let's begin with the positives. Although Sam could speak in the game, I found this change quite interesting. It doesn't negatively affect any part of the story and making him younger actually worked in in the characters favor. I also think that the casting of Sam and Henry was spot on. And as I've said in my previous episode reviews, all story directly related to Joel and Ellie is near flawless and makes hardcore gamers very happy with the show.
NOW, Let's talk about Kathleen. After having an extra episode, I understand why we include the storyline of Kansas City. It's not really necessary to the story of the Last of Us, but it still works and doesn't detract from the main focus. Kathleen however is a ridiculous character that should have been completely removed. I don't know why we have to keep adding in characters who are supposed to be the big bada** baddies who make you quake in your boots because obviously no one in Hollywood is good at making those characters anymore. And I'll be honest, I don't really care at this point who gets upset about it, the crappy characters are almost always the bad b**** woman villains. I get you're trying to make these intimidating female characters to show that women are just as tough as men, but when women pull off this tough girl routine it just makes them look like Karens. For further reference, Captain Phasma from Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Kathleen is a major Karen. She (the character, not necessarily the actress) was very uncomping and unconvincing, her origin story is so cliche, her death was dumb, she didn't add anything to the story, and the show had no need for a revolution leader in Kansas City, especially not a Karen.
They have done a brilliant job keeping the Joel and Ellie storyline to the game and making it compelling enough that even the biggest Last of Us fans are happy, but these stupid changes in the story that have no effect on the main plot and aren't well put together are just a waste of an excellent show. Please please please for season 2, don't make dumb changes because you want to be more politically correct.
The Last of Us: Please Hold to My Hand (2023)
Just stick to Joel and Ellie
If the storyline just follow Joel and Ellie the whole episode, it would have been 10 stars. Honestly so far I would not have anything negative to say about the show if we just stuck with the main story. The same issue I had with episode 3 is true here, NOBODY'S STORY IS AS GOOD AS JOEL AND ELLIE'S. That's why the game was so good, because it didn't get distracted.
Kathleen is a fine character I guess and sure it's interesting to see what's going on in Kansas City, but the episode didn't give us any reason to fall in love with them and not enough reason to hate them. They just seem like filler. Perhaps this will change in episode 5 but at the moment Joel and Ellie's story would not change at all if these characters and storylines were removed.
Chernobyl (2019)
A mostly historical show with strong anti-nuclear inaccuracies
First to start with the quality, perfect 10. It is one of the most well-directed and produced pieces of work I've ever seen and it's something the creators should be proud of. However, I do have some faults.
While a good chunk of the events around the actual explosion are very accurate, there are many instances where something vague is interpreted in the most anti-nuclear perspective the truth allows for. The show implies that a huge number of people died on the day of the explosion, but historically only two did and 80% of radiation sickness victims recovered. One of the main characters is also quite fictionalized as she is not a historical figure but a combination of all of the lesser known scientists and interns working on this case. The show also takes the perspective of the mother that her baby died by absorbing the radiation which helped her survive. Looking back on the actual documents this is not true. The baby did die 4 hours after birth because of lung and heart issues, but not because it's saved the mother from radiation poisoning. It is also implied that everyone on the bridge in episode 1 ended up dying which has been widely debunked over the years.
Don't get me wrong it is incredibly well done and I'm glad I watched it, but these are only a few of the many historical inaccuracies pointing in the direction of anti-nuclear energy. Basically it's a supremely well done propaganda film.
The Last of Us: Long, Long Time (2023)
Well written, but a little disappointed.
It's really not a bad episode and it doesn't necessarily detract from the story, but I do have some issues:
I didn't mind elaborating on Bill and Frank's story, but I don't think it needed a full episode. They are not important enough to the main story for a whole episode.
The double suicide is a pretty big divergent from the OG. Sometimes I don't mind it but I did in this case.
Ellie and Joel are still spectacular. Their father-daughter relationship improves and gets more rich with each episode. While the series is still very good, I'm hoping this is my lowest rated episode for the series.
The Last of Us: Infected (2023)
Another spectacular episode.
The way to make a successful adaptation is to only make changes to the source material that still keep the spirit of the original. Wear this episode leaves off has different villains than in the game, but it works. And as predicted in my review for episode 1, the casting for Ellie has grown on me. It's definitely still different than the game but they have done an excellent job keeping the main story and the feeling of the game the same. Keep this up HBO and you might have a top 10 series on your hands.
And I need to make up some required characters so bada boom.
The pacing of this show is excellent. It has just the right amount of action, slow in-betweens, and comedy. Unlike most modern Marvel movies that have too much comedy and too much action which makes the movie feel disjointed, this series knows not to overdo the comedy and not to go overboard with over the top action sequences.
How I Met Your Mother: Last Forever: Part Two (2014)
The last 2 episodes should have been 7/
If I read this on paper before it was produced, I would have absolutely loved it and said it was the ending that the story deserved. The problem as it usually is is with pacing. The show moves from droning out every single unimportant detail as much as absolutely possible to blasting through multiple major events that could have taken up a full two seasons worth in two episodes. That's what feels so wrong with it. If we had time to watch Tracy and Ted develop and then had time to watch Robin and Barney drift apart and then had time to see Marshall in his job and then had time to simmer in Barney's life-changing, and then had plenty of time to feel the pain of Tracy's death. Of course then we would see Robin gradually getting more involved again which would make the last scene feel natural rather than rushed. Great concept that keeps the spirit of the show, but should have added a few episodes to fix the issue.
The Last of Us: When You're Lost in the Darkness (2023)
A great start with 2 minor critiques
Overall, this was amazing. I've been a Last of Us fans for years and was concerned about how HBO would handle this behemoth of a story. I am pleased to say they stayed true to the source material and even improved a few parts (game still superior but loved it). I was honestly surprised how good Pascal's version of Joel holds up. Very excited to watch the rest of the series.
However, I have 2 issues. There are a few casting choices that could have been better. This Ellie is okay and will probably grow on me as the series progresses, but my initial feeling was that there might be a better choice. Might change my mind as the show goes on.
Not happy with Tess. Even though I hated her in the game, her character had substance. This Tess feels kinda empty. I'm hoping the next episode fixes this.
I also think the closing of the episode needed a little more punch to it. It needed the power the scene of Sarah at the neighbors house had but felt a little 2 dimensional.
Still wonderful, well put together and will probably be the show of 2023. This is how you recreate material while staying true to the original spirit.