Change Your Image
dtracey-61543
Reviews
A History of Violence (2005)
A history of violent (coitus on staircases)
I still remain confused about what some people find good or even entertaining about this film. Admittedly the trailer remains awesome and Viggo Mortensen does the physical aspects of his role well, but he really disappoints as a normal small town diner owner. You know, the quintessential all American cafe owner who wears plaid shirts, offers help to all in the town and gets his wife to dress up in her old cheerleader gear on a Friday night for fun times.
The Intellectual leading man of the 90s Ed Haris, adds new and subtle nuances to his repertoire, including wearing sunglasses indoors at a shopping mall, creepily supervising Tom/Joeys kid on one of those Postman Pat type car things that they used to have in Curleys and never worked.
The violent sex on the stairs look particularly poor in hindsight and in the post MeToo world the levels of uncomfortableness are off the Richter scale.
All in all, this film has a somewhat off-putting feel, that I can't quite put my finger on. Like the InShops. I mean, what is it all about exactly?
Bring back Leisure World.
Batman Begins (2005)
I hate to do this, because I once loved it so much!
I took in all three of the Dark Knight Trilogy movies with a group of friends, during that time in your life when you really don't appreciate how great things are!
All three films were untouchable as far as a twenty something Movie fanatic could see.
However as the years have gone by, all I have thought about at nights when you can't sleep is the following;.
Bruce Wayne is actually a complete zero of a human!
Goes to Princeton and wastes a place by never going back , steals condensed milk off of shelves since he was a toddler, joins a gang of Chinese bandits, burns down property in the mountains, comes back from the dead (coincidentally not paying income tax), burns down his dad's mansion, destroys a complete monorail system, commits insider trading by buying stock in Wayne Enterprises through various corporations and charitable foundations,
Kidnaps twenty hot Russian ballet dancers and takes them outside of police jurisdiction,
Travels to a foreign nation and commits espionage by kidnapping a foreign national,
Spies on everyone in his own home town by creating a phone hacking system,
Commits arson by burning his own symbol on public property, fakes his own death, detonates a nuclear device in the sea causing the deaths of needless marine life and contaminating the inlets of the busy seaports of Gotham City,
Commits further fraud in his will by leaving out pearls and leaves a now unemployed cop no remuneration for his help nor any of his spelunking gear , just some ropes and a map and the pressure of saying "your Batman now, beat that you little trout sniffer"
But to be fair to the caped crusader, the villains also don't cover themselves in glory, like Ra'as Al Ghul
"You were my greatest student....."
Apart from the fact that
"Your compassion is a weakness your enemies will not share"
"The training is nothing"
"Like your father you lack the courage to do what's necessary"
"You are just an ordinary man in a cape"
"You never learned to mind your surroundings"
*" You burnt my house down and left me for dead"*
Yes... greatest student.... If only I could go to Nightclub where I can pay for my food with poker chips!!!
Titanic (1997)
I think we've all missed the point.
As a young man who went to the Curleys Kennedy Centre cinema, smuggling in a green vitazade from newsbeat in my jacket, under the promise and pretense of "you get to see a woman" this movie has remained steadfast in my memory banks since.
After more than two decades the CGI, cinematography and dare I say it, the dialogue stand up. And as a native Belfastian, the accent used by Mr Andrews is quite accurate! This movie is always going to go down (no pun intended) as one the most popular and well made motion pictures.
Having said that, something has come to my mind recently, that may mess with your minds.
I think we have genuinely missed out on something. The fact that like this renowned diamond hunter guy has spent millions and millions and years and years searching for this precious diamond.
And the whole film (really) is her giving him a day by day diary entry of what happened on the titanicm....for three hours....
Surely, he would've went "ok love, ....yeah....awk that's sad....aye the unsinkable Molly Brown...oh your ma tying your corset too tight ....awk that's terrible ...*where's the diamond ffs* "
And she dies at the end ...(we think) and she dreams about like random violin players and like everyone she passed by on a boat of three thousand people....and dreams about her "true love"
Ignore your actual husband! Dream about some holiday romance from 80 years earlier.
Anyway, I feel terrible to ruin a classic. So I'll finish off with a quote that I've been dealing with all week
"Aye sir, Seven Nil"
Darby O'Gill and the Little People (1959)
Makes me proud to be a proud man whose proud to be a proud Irishman.
Since I first watched this film in my formative years it has remained one of my favorites and I will whip any man in the parish who tells me this isn't one of the best Disney films ever.
Although it gets some negative publicity here on the emerald isle, I believe this picture was ahead of it's time, with its special effects, and fabulous and accurate depictions of 21st century Strabane.
We all know that leprachauns don't exist, but it's hard not to be beguiled by King Brian and his merry folk, playing the fiddle and going off on a hunt on 3 inches horses.
Ive always been particularly impressed by the behaviour exemplified by King Brian and Derby in their potin drinking scene, laughing and joking about funny incidents from the past;, like big dees ma running herself over with her own car.
A must watch on St Patrick's day. Mon a hoops!
Casshern (2004)
It's been 17 years and I still don't get it.
We've all been there. Where we end up watching a film at someone else's request or on their recommendation. Sometimes, these films are a pleasant surprise like Alex Ferguson popping up in your back garden, sometimes they're dull and boring like heads up poker at the Gormley household.
However, my experience of watching this film can only be described with the following statement: It's been 17 years and I'm still unsure what this film is and in my case, I'm certain the recommendeur of said film wasn't even sure either. Ask his dad!
There's action, lights and I'm sure there were cameras involved, but there was no plot or storyline that I could discern. It evoques a David Lynch Twin Peaks type dream sequence of vest wearing bass players staring into mirrors and a fatality from Mortal Kombat.
If you are a fan of the original anime, stop lying.
Cyborg Cop (1993)
Fully worth the four pound spent!
Before anyone jumps to any conclusions, this movie genuinely needs to be seen to be believed! This film blends the pre 2016 cinematic penchant for macho action movie heroes and beautiful blondes with the dystopian prophecies of The Fent.
A simple story of a brother, lost like a Copland DVD, being turned into a cyborg by a cocaine kingpin/mad scientist, tracked down to a "stable as a 3 legged milk school" Latin American jungle by his DEA agent brother.
Full of action, suspense, plot twists, sunglasses, witty remarks and more man points than putting up a flatpacked shelf. Never have I laughed more.
The Wonderful World of Disney: Home Alone 4: Taking Back the House (2002)
Honestly, why was this made?
I haven't even watched it. I've just spent the last hour reading everyone else's comments and the Wikipedia plot summary.
Anywho, it just seems like another lazy straight to DVD sequel, but if your off sick near the festive season you might as well give it a go. It's no Hallmark Christmas movie where the girl goes back to her hometown and falls in love with her previous love, who owns the small scented candle store.
I expect any viewer will be offended if you loved the original or entertained and like myself will watch anything Christmassy. A cold soft drink in Bittles bar would not go amiss!