Change Your Image
abonrad
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Beaster Day: Here Comes Peter Cottonhell (2014)
A movie you can have fun with
Look, Listen. Look here look listen.
Is the movie good? No, obviously it's not. Is the acting good? No, not a chance. Are the special effects great? You know they aren't.
But hear me out... it's a great watch. It's cheesy, it's dumb, it's so on the nose it might as well be a nose. There's a cheap hilarious giant rabbit running around and a ton of chicks they paid $50 to take their tops off and flail around and at least pretend that they are experiencing an emotion that might resemble something akin to the idea of the concept of fear.
The movie is a cut above the typical TUBI snoozefest because it's not taking itself too seriously. There's not 75 minutes of people standing around in dull sets talking and discussing things only to finally have a monster appear for 15 seconds. There's no endless shots of people walking through the woods accomplishing nothing.
It's just rapid fire cheese followed by kills followed by cheese followed by kills, bad comedy throughout. You won't be bored. The sort of terrible movie you seek out, not the terrible movies you put on for 10m and then turn off. Enjoy it for what it is.
Judas Ghost (2013)
A good twist on a a tale as old as time
So it's movie night, and the Tubi list is up. You know what's about to happen. You click on a a catchy poster and a wild name, and oh my god it's 30m later and everyone's about to fall asleep. You feel lied too and betrayed because yet again you've been tricked into watching some 0 budget trek through the woods behind the director's house while nothing happens and people just wander around talking at each other for what feels like an eternity.
Well let me flip the script on you. Here's a movie with a terrible name, a poster that screams "no dawg, this is some exorcist knock off that will be turned off before the monster even shows up." In actuality, it's a fairly clever and enjoyable twist on a spooooooky ghost story about a team of a professional ghost hunters out to do their job.
This isn't grave encounter's though, it's not some hacks behind a camera hyping up as whole lot of nothing. (too be clear, I like grave encounters I am speaking in universe) These are real ghost hunters, literally hunting real ghosts and the absurdity dials up to 11 as they start casting magic spells to repel the haunting, a character at one point says "I drank 3 pints of holy water before even coming here my piss is holy."
So lets get down to brass tacks:
It's good use of a minimal budget leaving the entire movie to be filmed in basically a single set. They don't try to do more than what they know they can do.
The enjoyability is dialed up thanks to some hammy acting that feels completely in place given the teams job working for the mysterious "institute."
It's not what I or anyone I watched it with expected, and though it's a normal movie night 5 it's a Tubi trash night 8 and so that's what it's getting here. Totally worth it.
The Snow Queen (2013)
Prepare to sleep
If people milling about in a snowy forest for ages is your idea of the a good time then watch this bad boy. Otherwise just turn it off after 20m or so for your fill of snow covered woods.
Not much else to say, the voice-overs are a bad facsimile for acting. The woods are a bad substitute for a set, and whatever the plot was couldn't really be close to resembling a story.
There's not much more to say but there's a minimum character requirement so here's some movies you can watch instead if you want fantasy:
Anything from the Mythica movies.
Dudes and Dragons on TUBI.
Classics like Conan, you know it.
Tales of Halloween (2015)
A very good anthology
Every time an anthology pops up as the weeks movie, I start to get a bit worried. They are very very hit or miss, both the entire anthology and the individual shorts they contain.
For every Helarious (excellent) and there's a ABCs of Death (very inconsistent). So where does this fall? Thankfully on the high end.
I don't think there's a single short I disliked. At most I had wished that a few of them were a bit longer so that they had time to establish their ideas or use their effects more.. erm.. effectively. Don't get me wrong, if the biggest complaint I can have of your anthology is "man I wish some of these shorts were longer" that's a really good place to be in.
These are the ones that spot the middle of the pack. The war between the rockers and the haunted mansion decoration. The lady walking home, the witch that eats kids, the kids attacking the group of friends. All of these needed a bit more time and attention to get the audience on board or for the good vfs to shine.
The winners of the bunch obviously include the alien vs chainsaw massacre, the killer pumpkin, the kid that gets kidnaped, and the devil teaching a kid how to properly prank his neighborhood. These are absolutely worth the watch, and I found little fault with them.
All in all, a good anthology and I'd like to see more from those involved in the production of the shorts. Lord knows we need more clever and creative people making horror movies if the dredges of TUBI are anything to go by.
Elves (2018)
Boring, Disjointed, zero effort garage.
So a week ago we watched the prequel, The Elf, and were mildly impressed. There were real attempts to be creative, and the doll in a spooky doll movie actually, get this, moved around on camera and stuff. (Take that, nearly every Anabelle knock off). The main weaknesses were the acting and the plot, the latter of which was just awful.
So imagine our utter disappointment when we pulled this up hoping for some improvements and discovered what an absolute waste of time it was. Random nonsense happens to an array of equally dull characters who's actors and actresses can barely muster the effort emote. Audio issue abound as some folks mics can seem to be actively trying to avoid being in the movie by cutting out at a whim or simple being inaudible over the soundtrack.
The cover makes you think that wacky elf doll be back with his homeys to mess some folks up but don't be fooled. Most of the "horror" comes from snapchat filters being applied poorly to some faces along with a random masked killer, some crazy lady, and an ugly burnt doll unrelated to the original. How are they connected? Will the characters of these separate threads collide? Who cares when the threadbare plot can't be arsed to try and make sense. This time people get possessed. Why? No one knows? What is with the naughty list game, we didn't need this to have an elf kill people in the first movie? Your guess is as good as mine.
Nearly the entire runtime of the movie was spent wishing it would end or my power would go out.
The Wishing Forest (2018)
This movie is for somebody. That somebody is a strange fellow.
I'm giving this a middle of the road 5/10 cause this is a hard one to review. So lets break this down:
What's commendable?
The movie is different, that's for sure. Browsing Tubi for nonsense to watch usually ends up with a predictable low budging experience that has you yawning or chuckling. Bad effects, awful costumes, the loosest definition of acting, a distinct lack of trying. Well the first thing that is noticeable is that these people did try. There's effort here. It's a horror fantasy, with some nasty cannibals running around being cannibals. The characters interact in a strange way and their dialog is often a bit off, giving everything a real dreamlike feel even when the post processing doesn't kick in (but when it does hooooooooo boy). This does tie in with the themes of the movie, oddly enough.
So what doesn't work? Well, it's pretty boring, not much actually happens in the movie, and some of the scenes along with the costumes give this movie more of a fetish-film feel than anything else. Specifically when the antagonist is rubbing her tits with blood for a length of time that feels longer than it probably is. Don't watch this with people you don't know well or they are gonna think you're into some wild stuff. Maybe you are into wild stuff? I don't judge, but your friends might. In addition, the unicorn horn that appears to be some kind of plunger bounces hilariously when the horse it's attached to moves around. It's very funny.
All in all, a strange experience, but a welcome change of pace from the usual nonsense you find on free streaming services. So give it a whirl if you want something different especially if you like bloody half naked shamans.
Mandy the Doll (2018)
Another bad Anabelle ripoff with little going for it.
If you like nothing happening for a long time, if you like two short movies suddenly being in the main movie but also being bad, and if you like one actor inexplicably being unable to be heard for a good chunk of time boy do I have the movie for you.
I'm giving it a couple bonus stars for the funny part where they drop a camera off a balcony and then a lady lays down in the grass and we're supposed to think she fell off the balcony. It's a very funny scene.
Other than that, though, it's not funny, it's not scary, and it's not good by any stretch of the imagination. Give this one a hard pass .
Pumpkins (2018)
I hope you like off camera action.
This is not a good movie. They blew the entire budget on buying good reviews on small websites and also on hiring that one famous chick to be in the bar.
Be cause of this sad reality, a large portion of the movie is boring people walking around the woods boringly, and then getting attacked or killed off camera so they didn't have to pay for special effects. Supposedly there were killer pumpkins being controlled by the uninteresting antagonist, but you won't see a single one of these bad boys do anything other than sit there and be a pumpkin.
It finally ramps up near the end, I guess, but then subsequently and rather suddenly (and rather thankfully) the movie turns itself off for you, preventing you from suffering any further.
I am giving it an extra star, boosting it to 2 stars, because at one point I laughed at the guy and his tent.
The Moleman of Belmont Avenue (2011)
This is what every Tubi junker wants to be.
Here's a real gem of a movie. Comedy horror done by the experts, with actual jokes being told and skits being performed. A great and catchy theme song, a well done monster costume and some shining acting tops off what makes it so special.
The premise of two slackers running a slum apartment allow a cast of colorful characters to inhabit the building and share screen time as the titular moleman snatches up their pets. The goofy premise allowed plenty of room for the main characters to find themselves in awkward but hilarious situations trying to appease their tenants, save the animals, and stop the threat.
This movie is what happens when comedians are allowed to be funny in a film without to much money and staff getting in the way. It's what ever awful hot comedy on Tubi wants to be.. but can't.
Clownado (2019)
If I could give it negative stars I would.
Listening to the cast speaking literally hurts you. The acting is worse than anything you'll ever watch.
If I were given three wishes by some genie I'd use all three to wish this movie into the cornfield.
There is nothing redeeming about this. It isn't fun in a b movie mst3k way. It isn't over the top in a Tokyo gore police way. It's just pure suffering for any audience member who is tricked into watching it by the title and the poster. None of the main cast should be allowed to act again and the cameos should be ashamed of themselves.
If there were a film police everyone involved would be arrested.