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jasgraham@talk21.com
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Secret Invasion (2023)
Spy thriller, i think not
Wow was this dull, ageing Nick Fury hobbling around trying to be intimidating and failing. He really doesnt do anything and the Skrulls complaints of them doing all the work is justified.
Much like Samuel Jackson in real life this NIck Fury is only jknown for past deeds and is all talk. He is a good supporting character but swaggering round trying to act all menacing when he couldnt chase a toddler is not very convincing. Olivia Colemans chracter is the only saving greace in this series and ismore believable than Sam Jackson. Lets not get started on the welsh and irish skrulls in Russia either.
This was a major comic event and is reduced to a sub par watered down travesty that adds nothing to the MCU. The super skrulls werent even good, by that time in series i was just wanting it finish.
Nick should have stayed in his Space Station and hopefully now he will,
Last Light (2022)
Did they read the book?
If you're a fan of the book like myself dont watch this and if you've watched this and liked it you won't enjoy the book. Other than the the title names and premise of the loss of oil nothing in this series is in the book and seeing as the 2nd book in series is very much post apocalyptic you can guess the ending in the series is very different.
The book was a a thrilling tale of survival as society collapses and all the countries shut down. As the main character and a few soldiers try to get back to the uk from Iraq and the wife and mother tries to get back 0toher children while law and order has broken down. The book is tense fast paced and brutal. There is a back story of a conspiracy and a hit man but its just amonor thread.
The serieson the other hand is a poor mans Tom Clancy eco/ espionage plot, which is very by the numbers and bland and all the world is great and we all love one another even when there is no working infrastructure. Utter drivel. Should have been called something else and not associated with the source material.
The Northman (2022)
Should have been better.
Another case of style over substance and the need for a hoolywood style film of well trodden territory. After the influx of viking tv series and movies, this just seems an over budget tv episode. The amount of film and tv that is filmed in Iceland the cinematography is not even anything new. I really enjoyed Eggers other films but this felt clunky and strained, the fighting was boring and the story done to death. Big budgets dont make the better interpretation.
The mythological areas were good but not enough to carry this very stale movie. I was very hopeful for this but it seemed aimed at people who have never seen a viking or a sword and sandals film.
New.
Crawl or Die (2014)
Watch and die....of boredom
You know that bit in James Cameron's Aliens where the Marines are being chased through the air vents by the aliens. That's this movie but painfully dragged over and hour and a half, so better just watching that scene from aliens and sapre you this twaddle. The lead character is a punk rock hair salon model and the rest of the "elite" team are whoever was in the local heavy metal bar on the day of shooting. There is no character intro or even development so its just random folk muttering unintelligible dialogue about the package in the dark. If you're claustrophobic this might be tense or scary but anybody else it 90 mins of a hair salon model crawling through industrial piping and small spaces breathing heavy and shining her torch. The director/producer must have said that he would make her a star as she seems to be down to her underwear pretty quick for no reason and thinks heavy breathing is the acting style for being under stress . I appreciate low budget films but this is a joke the alien monster rip-off is unapologetic and seems to defies the laws of physics in its size and ability to navigate small spaces. Tagged as the most claustrophobic movie ever it obviously hasn't seen Descent or the lower budget Adrenalin: Fear the Rush (1996) which is very similar and far better even now. Why people are given money to make these mockeries gets me they are no early sam raimi thats for sure. Avoid unless you like hair salon models in tunnels
This Is the End (2013)
Average, expected more
Was looking forward to this but apart from a few funny moments it came across as a Aaron Seltzer, Jason Friedberg Movie. Just your average infantile high school, college humour, was expecting something a bit more sophisticated from this mob but alas no. Can see why most of the cast died early this was lucky on their part. Yet another group that think that if they appear in movies together then success is ensured, well this is evidence that it doesn't. The special effects where not bad too, which I feel where wasted in this movie. I know it was a parody of sorts but I felt towards the end there didn't seem to be any differential in reality and fiction with the characters and I ended up disliking them more. Only for lovers of puerile, toilet humour.
The Expendables 2 (2012)
Top class except 1 spanner in the works
Loved & hugely enjoyed this ,a good old fashioned action movie. My only complaint get rid of Arnie he was the only week link in the whole movie hes not funny and seem to want to be terry crews who was far more entertaining, everybody else seemed good except for his cigar smoking smug visage ruining it with that undecipherable one liners. no Arnie for expendables 3. good old chuck was amusing playing himself up and the inclusion of Dolph's character was welcome and another good play up. Simon west done a good job of recreating the 80's action flick and the pace was such that even my dad didn't drift off which is no mean feat. So all in all i will watch again and mute the Arnie scenes