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The Menu (2022)
Yes chef!!!
Ralph Fiennes. Ralph Fiennes, Ralph Fiennes, Ralph Fiennes, Ralph Fiennes. Why do I keep saying his name? Because. He's amazing. He's creepy. He slays every role he plays. In the menu I believe that he's a completely obsessed, completely unhinged perfectionist. And I also believe Nicolas Hoult's portrayal of a sanctimonious twit who's completely out of touch. If you don't enjoy satire and scathing societal commentary then this outrageous masterpiece isn't for you. If you aren't willing to suspend your disbelief you won't enjoy this one. But I, as a misanthropic person with some nihilistic tendencies,thought the ending was fantastic. I honestly thought the whole film was amazing and lately I don't find many films all that great. TI can't say enough about the ending. The acting is great. The atmosphere is great, but the ending. OMG. Have fun.
Eli Roth Presents: The Legion of Exorcists (2023)
WTF ELI!!!
Oh, yuck! Yuck, yuck, yuck. Yuck! Generally speaking I love Eli Roth and think his shows are good entertainment when I'm bored. But this is just...so, so disappointing. Not even because of the ridiculous acting or costumes. But more because of the profound ignorance. This just smacks of typical ignorant religious bigotry. Talking about generational curses because a kid's mom's family had ties to voodoo or santeria. That was bad enough in and of itself, but then you're going to say the sage is bad and that crystals were an issue? Do better, Eli, do better!!! Oh! I almost forgot the episode where the one guy kissed Jesus's foot and could still taste the dried dirt and blood on his left foot. GMAFB with this nonsense.
Dances with Wolves (1990)
Dances With Cringe
I hate when other reviewers say they don't get the bad reviews or that either they're wrong or the other film viewer was wrong. You liked the film, others didn't. I personally can't imagine where the positive reviews are coming from. Probably all the white apologists who gobbled this up. I'm not a die hard fan of mobster movies by any means, but I can't help but feel like the only reason this beat goodfellas was the portrayal of costner as a white savior and everyone else as a stereotype. The whole story is cringy and ridiculous. I've seen it a few times and can honestly say I have no idea why this is so critically acclaimed. It's trite, pretentious crap.
The Descent (2005)
Smegma
I understand that horror movies require suspension of disbelief. This one just required a little bit too much and I hated the movie. The most brutal part of it is not very far into the film and was brutal for the sake of being brutal. Just like the suspension of disbelief, sometimes characters need to do stupid things to
move the story along. One of the characters was so stupid that I was rooting for her to get killed in the depths of the previously unexplored cave she brought her "friends" into with out telling them. Exploring caves could go wrong on the best of days, so let's go exploring a cave no one's ever been in when I decided to leave the guide book behind. That's brilliant. I will say it has the maddening claustrophobic vibe going for it, but Juno is just so stupid that I can't get over it.
Olhar Indiscreto (2023)
Derp!
First of all, yes there was a warning. What did you think a film called Lady Voyeur was about?? It was definitely salacious, steamy, and sexy. But that's about it. It's ultimately ruined by a convoluted plot and characters who do stupid things. Do not stay up until 6am watching this like I did. Unless, of course, you want to watch a bunch of irredeemable characters betray each other imbetween raunchy sexcapades. Or choosing to do stupid things that I hope no person would ever really do if they were to find themselves in the situations taking place in Lady Voyeur. Also the time hops were very annoying.
Smile (2022)
Here We Go Again
Ok... this is one of those films where you either love it or hate it. This was one of those movies where I disagreed with other reviews to the point where I had to write my own. 1) I am a horror junkie. So, dear fellow reviewer, speak for yourself. Fellow horror fans should watch this one and see how they feel. 2) As someone else claimed, I am not a paid reviewer. 3) And, 3 was perhaps the worst. I HATE TIKTOK. The word itself is enough to make me cringe. Now that I got that out of the way... I need to say that I felt Smile was very jarring. Not necessarily because of the plot itself, but because of how it was shot. It left me feeling disoriented and very uneasy. As for someone that mentioned smiling at death, I believe that was commentary on how we're expected to grin and bare it, even when we're dying inside/suffering. I think Smile also did well painting a dire picture of being desperate for connection and understanding and being met with revulsion and isolation instead. I'd say smile was a scathing criticism on society and mental health. And even if you take nothing from any of it, I would hope you'd admit that it was a bit intense in some places. Because the nephew's birthday scene was particularly bad and that will stay with me. But perhaps what was even worse was the fact that you figure out that one sibling is suffering so intensely and the other one just goes on living in complete naivety droning on about pilates and when it becomes clear just how bad things have gotten the sister doubles down and continues on like nothing ever happened. I'm glad I chanced this one.
Teeth (2007)
Biting humor
Wow... Is all I can say reading some of these reviews. Especially the one talking about the Saw franchise. You're not offended by the torture porn that is the Saw franchise but Teeth was too much for you. That's just a little bit absurd to me honestly. Also... Dawn has teeth in her parts that only sever her partner's appendage when they've taken advantage of her. I don't at all think that the film was intended to make all men look bad or imply all men are scum. And some of these reviews are just so bizarre. You see a film called teeth and look into the synopsis... What did you expect? The same pretentious tripe that's taking over the genre today? If you really went into this with high expectations I don't know what to tell you. I didn't take it too seriously and found it disturbing and entertaining at the same time. I found the religiosity and preaching gross but also Dawn's brother. Dawn's brother was effective as a disturbed individual harboring feelings ge shouldn't have been harboring.
August: Osage County (2013)
Speechless
I'm not quite sure why people keep saying there's no plot. This story is not for the faint of heart. No one is going to hold your hand or sing cumbaya. This is a demented story of hurt, lies, betrayal, affairs, and incest. And it comes to a head when spoiler alert the patriarch of the family dies either by suicide or accident, leaving behind his sharp tongued, acidic, druggy, cancer patient wife. Now, perhaps I could understand if someone said there was no point to this film, but there is a plot. A cold, calloused, biting, unforgiving plot. And perhaps the intent was to examine the nuclear family and the idea that all is not always what it seems.