aleistad-1 Reviews

The Innocents (2021)

Not watchable - animal cruelty

[1/10 · 13 October 2023]

I only watched the first part of this movie, which is more than enough for my review.

It started OK. The child actors were not bad, and a foreboding sense was built. Knowing the location was an extra eerie factor for me.

Then I had to stop watching. The director decided that explicit animal cruelty of the worst and most cynic kind was going to be part of the film. It was stomach churning. To me this is not something that belongs in any movie - be smarter and come up with something else. Thus I think this is in order for those who care:

WARNING : Extreme explicit animal torture and killing. Do not watch if you don't like such things.

6 Underground (2019)

The worst possible use of $150M

[1/10 · 23 December 2019]

I can't think of a worse way to use $150,000,000. Hyped up and with a decent IMDB score, one would perhaps expect some entertainment value, but instead it's just a jumble of special FX and "jokes" falling flat on their faces. The special FX, which is where all the money most likely went, aren't even compelling - the scenes it seeks to create aren't interesting.

It must be the most extreme example of a no attention span or mental effort required -movie so far (possibly... I try to avoid most of those), and no mental investment leaves no mental reward. Watching it was a blank, flat and meaningless "experience". Perhaps a postliterate society's idea of a fun movie?

It gets 1 star for having colours and sound, even though those were kind of annoying.

Burn (III) (2019)

An off beat thriller done right.

[8/10 · 15 September 2019]

This movie had me on the edge of my seat. Like another reviewer observed, it's a test of your morality in a slightly disturbing way. Much better at appealing to your emotions than 90% of the Hollywood dross. Good writing, good execution and good performances all around and especially by the main protagonist.

I find the current low rating rather strange. If you like real movies with real characters, real emotions and a plot that will hold your attention, just watch it.

Deadwood: The Movie (2019 TV Movie)

Dead and wooden

[2/10 · 7 June 2019]

I've not watched the TV series, so I approached this as a stand alone western movie.

The whole thing feels a bit dead and wooden(!). There isn't a lot happening, and there's dialogue and character relations that's not very compelling. It appears that you have to be very into the TV series to get anything out of it, which may explain the high score here on IMDB - a score that the movie itself has no right to. The actors might possibly have done well had they had interesting material to work with. However, the left overs from a TV series appears hollow and without much meaning.

As for what the movie is about, apart from the mentioned relations that are impossible to care about if you aren't a follower of the series, there is the rich and arrogant criminal senator who wants a piece of land to erect telephone poles on, against the common folk of the town. This is, if anything, the main story arc, but we get no great insight in it, and most importantly, no kind of resolution of that. In the end the movie just fizzles out, not going anywhere.

The Battery (2012)

Boring, and not because it's slow...

[2/10 · 25 May 2019]

I like slow movies, I like post apocalyptic movies, I like quirky movies, I like a lot of different movies...

But this was just plain boring. Nothing happened. The protracted "final" was just that - overly long and dull. The characters were irritatingly stupid (the downfall of too many movies), and not at all interesting.

The music was too loud, too often and too boring. The camera work and visuals were boring. I think this must be a hipster's idea of a zombie flick. I was fooled buy the ratings and reviews - It turned out to be a big boring waste of time.

The Simple-Minded Murderer (1982)

As relevant as ever

[9/10 · 15 September 2018]

As others have remarked, this may be the best movie to come out of Sweden. It both enrages and soothes, as it follows the oppression and uprising of the main character.

While it covers the tribulations and triumphs of the main characters perfectly, it's about so much more. It has a big heart and reminds you that overcomplicating things can lead us astray, whereas the purity of simplicity is sometimes what we should strive for, and it's a lesson in the corrupt nature of power.

The production may seem plain at first, but you'll soon realize that it's pitch perfect. Unfortunately I didn't see this movie before now - I, like every man, could have done well with the additional ballast that this piece of art provides.

Warning Shot (2018)

One of those rare movies...

[6/10 · 14 September 2018]

This is one of those rare movies these days where you really care about the characters, at least if you have any kind of empathy. At times it was painful to watch, but for a good reason. I might add that parts of it has some of the qualities of a stage play in its style, unlike the more flash-bang Hollywood stuff, so if you're adverse to that it might not be for you.

It was also quite 'economical' in its unfolding. That is to say, not one line or movement was wasted. Everything had meaning, and there was no unnecessary filler of any kind. The acting was good by all involved, and I can't fault the directing or photography either - in short this was good movie making.

The IMDB category reads "Drama, Thriller" - I'd add "Fable" to that. I hope it will not be overlooked in the steady stream of shallower, but more popular movies. Watch it if you want nerve and meaning. Skip it if you want action and one liners.

Enter the Wild (2018)

Utter tripe

[1/10 · 16 August 2018]

Not horror in any way form or shape (that's OK in itself, but wrong classification nonetheless). Not good plot (I'd go as far as saying not a plot at all). Not good acting. Not good cinematography. Not likeable characters. Not realistic. Not any ending. And no, not clever, not deep, nothing to reflect on, not avant garde - no nothing.

What it is: Shallow, pointless, unrealistic, badly acted, badly written, badly photographed, unfinished (it's as if they suddenly ran out of film and money), annoying and with whiny, unbelievably stupid characters.

How on earth this has an almost 6 rating remains a mystery. Something is wrong here... I had to submit this review in an attempt to contribute towards some balance in the rating.

Wild at Heart (1990)

Late to the party

[2/10 · 27 March 2018]

Perhaps I'd react differently if I saw this movie in the 90s, but I doubt it. Like me now, even back then this was late to the party, so to speak. Sort of from the times before movies reached a certain quality - as if it's attraction enough that it IS a movie.

I like quirky movies, I like dark movies, I like layered movies, even the odd "artsy" movie. This was none of that, in spite of being touted by many to be so. I found it tedious, unfunny and shallow. It could've had some B-movie'ish charm if just about everything in it was of a less pretentious "let's be quirky cool" - but, alas it wasn't.

I'm trying to think of some positives, but I'm coming up empty. It's not even a "style over substance" candidate, as both aspects are equally dreary. Unless you're a Lynch-fan-for-the-sake-of it, you might as well skip it.

I'll give it two stars since it was shot in colours and has sound.

Lucy (I) (2014)

A proper action-sci-fi romp

[7/10 · 17 November 2017]

Better mention straight away that I'm a hardened sci-fi buff and often critical of films in the genre.

As opposed to some of the sci-fi block busters the latter years, this one makes no pretense to, uhm, be pretentious. Neither is it filled with the now popular faux soulful "scientists" that more often than not come off as soppy morons. This is a wild ride for the senses of wonder. Like some fun loving reviewers note, it's not at all trying to be scientifically correct - it's heavy on the fiction and demands of the viewer that you let go, sit back and enjoy the ride.

I'll quote fellow reviewer thuffman-219-557602 who said it in simple and clear terms:

"Bad-*** car chase, science-fiction, sex appeal my goodness, Morgan 'the man' Freeman, Chow Yun-Fat worthy shootout, visuals that will blow your-effing-mind, and it didn't even take 2 sequels and a prequel to do it."

I reckon it's natural that this is by the creator of Leon - don't actually expect another Leon though, this is Luc Besson doing something different. Neither should you expect deep character development or carefully pondering concepts in this express train of a movie.

In summary, the action is good and unrelenting, the sci is perhaps more fantasy than science, but still entertaining if you let it be, and the fi ranges from gritty to moments of almost Olaf Stapledon wondrous.

Cruel Summer (2016)

I made the mistake of watching this.

[2/10 · 26 March 2017]

Like another reviewer said, I suspect the producer's intention was a cash in on gratuitous violence, rather than exploring the story and making a commentary. I do not mind tragic movies, but this was not done right in my opinion. Inasmuch as it's based on a true story, this movie must be very hurtful for the relatives of the protagonist.

Distasteful cinema and a missed opportunity. It just left me angered at the filmmakers as much as the evil characters depicted. The latter were too simplistically portrayed. None of the actors were actually bad though.

Suing the Devil (2011)

Christian propaganda

[1/10 · 31 January 2015]

The premise of a trial with the Devil sounded like it could be a witty affair. And with Malcolm McDowell as the devil and all, it would surely not be too bad.

How wrong! What I saw was so shockingly bad, that it's almost impossible to relate to would-be viewers. It was a dreary performance by all involved. McDowell's potential was thwarted by a cast that acted so badly that the mind boggles and a plot and dialogue that might as well have been written by naive 12 year old heavily indoctrinated kids.

There was noting witty here, nothing smart, nothing interesting. This movie is an insult to the viewer's intelligence. It holds one mystery though: How on earth did Malcolm McDowell accept that role? It hurts to have to give the movie a score of 1 in order to write this when a 0 would have been right.

Update: There has now been a rallying of evangelicals to boost the score of this movie. Be warned that way too high score is based on a false premise - this is not a movie even for normal decent Christians.

Orions belte (1985)

A hidden gem among thrillers!

[9/10 · 20 April 2012]

I just watched this movie again for the first time since when it was made, 28 years ago. It's a pretty powerful movie experience in it's genre. In fact, it's one of the best movies I've watched in a long time - a lucky rediscovery.

A compelling story about a ragged freight boat crew, who get tangled up in something sinister. Its cold war era story is properly gritty and believable, there's nothing artificial or glorified about it. It's exciting, and it also has a quite sad side.

The acting is good. The locations are beautiful. The music is unsettling at times. If you're a movie lover and have missed this one, it's time to sit down and discover a hidden gem.

(This review is for the Norwegian version - I've not seen the English version)