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ajrepairman
Reviews
Star Trek: The Next Generation: All Good Things... (1994)
Old rambling man gets confused for two hours
A problem that causes itself, but is really caused by the problem causing the problem which needs to get solved by reversing the problem- but that's actually the problem. But only one crazy old man sees the problem for what it is, while talking to a god who blames the crazy old man and not himself. Has to be the most convoluted bucket of mediocrity praised as greatness I have ever seen in Star Trek history.
It's a giant tribute episode to the whole series, with a "what if in the future", combined with past set recycling and a bunch of obvious "final episode screen shots" of dramatic events that do yet don't happen. Trope city.
Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies (2012)
Mr. President, I watched 12 whole minutes.
I enjoy film. I really do. There are some movies that are not really film. But this- this is film. Sadly, I don't have the attention span for something that's not really mentally engaging, but if I did, I'd have watched more of it.
I really enjoyed those 12 minutes of film. I think the reason I turned it off was because while I'm sure there's a great plot hook, like Abraham Lincoln inventing lasers to fight zombie bears or something, I'll watch it later when I have someone to watch it with.
Upsides: Zombies, really bad Abraham Lincoln impression, Utopian depiction of functional government
Downsides: I didn't finish the movie.
Dracula Untold (2014)
Dracula was cool.
I liked this film. Unfortunately, it seemed to be a "let's copy the visual effects, feel, and war-drum-beat of 300 to the storyline of Dracula". I really enjoyed it on the big screen, however. Totally worth it as a theater film.
Morbius (2022)
It's disruptive even as background noise
I tried to watch it. It has the standards you would see of a professionally done film, so I had to give it the benefit of the doubt for as long as possible. But... there were problems.
First problem. The mutation made Jared Leto even uglier. This made it hard for me to watch the screen continuously.
Second problem. The story was extremely predictable. There was this huge focus on charactever development for the first part of the movie (the part I was able to watch). And there was no emotional connection, partially due to the sound effect work, and partially due to being, well, uninteresting.
Third problem. I tried to play with my phone for the rest of the film after becoming bored and kinda grossed out. But the video and sound editing were seemingly disruptive by design. I wasn't completely sure anymore, but the scenes seemed to cut into each other with the audio bleeding over from the next scene before the camera cuts.
Fourth problem. The audio itself was absolutely gnarly. I didn't want to hear it. I'd rather listen to a dog eat pig vomit.
As a result of these problems, I ended up not even listening to the rest of the film, preferring to play with my phone. I think I made it to minute 29.
Galaxy Games (2022)
Was this a high school project?
It seems like this film consists of a slew of high school drama students, forced to complete a film in some up-scale California neighborhood 3A high school to get out of having to take gym, while hiring 1-2 professional digital artists for a few days.
My favorite is the plot. Why explain the plot if it's not going to make any logical sense what they say or do? These are the best and brightest, but they don't have a real contingency plan in case of an emergency? There's no referee going into the field first? They send kids into dangerous places?
What in the Hunger Games knock-off artistry is this? This HAS to be a drama class release. I hope the teacher gave them all a C. Having a special effects team does not a good movie make.
I couldn't finish it. It was...not a story.