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telboy1999
Reviews
Masters of the Air (2024)
Saccharine drivel
I wanted to like this so much. I wanted it to be the aerial equivalent Band of Brothers...gritty, uncompromising, real, shocking.
But what did we get instead? A cliche-ridden pile of Hollywood schmaltz.
The acting is terrible. The CGI is terrible. The "plot" is dull and full of stereotypes. I found myself shaking my head at the sheer bloody lameness of the whole thing. You'd think that it would have been difficult to suck all the drama and fear and tension out of a depiction of a daylight bombing raid but the makers of this drivel seem to have managed it.
This is so disappointing. It could have been so good, but no. One to avoid.
Saltburn (2023)
Derivative drivel
There isn't a single original or fresh idea in this entire movie and frankly I'm struggling to think of how to fill the rest of this review without repeating that point, but IMDb requires it so I'll give it a go. The "fish out of water", "working class kid at Oxbridge" trope has been done to death in so many movies and TV shows in the past, and this pile of derivative unoriginal garbage adds nothing new... except for the blatant attempts to shock the viewer, which (because they're so blatant) do no such thing.
Ignore the hype. You're missing nothing if you avoid this farrago of warmed-up leftovers.
Capitani (2019)
Utter drivel
One of the worst "crime" dramas we've ever been unfortunate enough to see. Laughable acting and a so-called "plot" that was concocted by a committee of 12 year olds on crack and had more holes than a golf course. Avoid.
Lupin (2021)
Utter drivel
I've no idea who is writing the positive reviews for this rubbish. They must have been watching a different one to what I was subjected to. This was complete nonsense, with plot holes coming thick and fast. Avoid. This is so very bad.
First Man (2018)
Dul dull dull dull dulll
I have absolutely no idea how someone, anyone, can make a movie about quite possibly the most incredible moment in human history and make it so DULL! Honestly this movie is a complete yawn-fest. I had hoped to be moved and thrilled and left in awe...instead I was left feeling "Is that it?". This movie sucked all the soul out of an incredible story. Don't bother watching this. It's dreadful. Watch Apollo 13 instead.
Rogue One (2016)
An unworthy cash-in
I write as a dyed-in-the-wool Star Wars fan. I hated this movie.
The actual story is tissue-paper thin and could have been done much better. There is an awful lot of padding - some scenes are as painfully long as an in-game cut-scene that you can't get out of. To make up for lack of story, lots of CGI has been thrown into the mix to try to create a "wow" factor. It doesn't. All it does is emphasise how weak the story actually is. For me, an adult fan (I'm 50), it was pretty poor but my 6 and 13 year old nephews seemed to enjoy it. Most of the adults seemed to think it was "OK".
This is not a worthy addition to the canon, unlike The Force Awakens, which was.
Arrival (2016)
Drivel
This is possibly the most boring, nonsensical movie I've ever seen. Absolutely nothing happens for the first 30 minutes. Then something happens, but the build-up is so portentous and slow that by the time it happened, I didn't care. And the thing that happened wasn't very exciting or interesting anyway. Nor was the rest of the movie.
Arrival is boring, tedious, self-important, lacking any logic or character development...just give it a miss, seriously. Go and watch 2001: A Space Odyssey instead.
Apparently my review doesn't contain enough lines. OK.
I say again, Arrival is boring, tedious, self-important, lacking any logic or character development...just give it a miss, seriously. Go and watch 2001: A Space Odyssey instead.