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dowanhill
Reviews
Road House (2024)
Don't waste your time
Formulaic, overheated rubbish in which two Muscle Marys and assorted low lives kick the crap out of each other over a land dispute. I haven't seen the original - nor do I intend to - but I hope it was better than this. For reasons unknown, Jake Gyllenhaal - whom I rate highly - seems to have decided that, for the time being, he will concentrate on entertaining 12-15 years olds. Because, be advised, this is not a film for grown-ups. And Conor McGregor can forget it. Concentrate on what you're good at. The silver screen is not for you. You have all the charisma of a burst couch. No, I would avoid this one. And, Jake, you urgently need help on script selection. Please do something about it. You're much better than this.
Napoleon (2023)
A missed opportunity
I approached this latest offering from the estimable Mr Scott hoping that a director of his stature would offer some new insights into the character of this fascinating man - whose story is the stuff of legend. Alas, I learned absolutely nothing. The film is a shoddy piece of work. It fails on so many counts. Its treatment of the subject matter is trite and superficial. It is littered with historical inaccuracies which add nothing of value and which are therefore inexcusable. And the casting is dire. Joaquin Phoenix manages to reduce one of the great men of history to a bumbling fool who spends most of his time obsessing about his wife. We get no sense of the qualities that made this man the greatest military strategist of his time. A man who put the fear of God into the crowned heads of Europe and who changed the face of the continent for ever. None of that comes through. No - this is another missed opportunity. I suspect we will never get a film that does justice to Napoleon. The subject matter is possibly too complex. But this shoddy effort? Best forgotten as soon as possible.
Les trois mousquetaires: D'Artagnan (2023)
A bit of a let down
A disappointing movie. Like some others here, I was looking forward to a film which finally does justice to the source material - one of the greatest swashbuckling tales of all time. This, alas, doesn't. There are some very good things. The feel is very authentic. Some of the set pieces eg. The Buckingham ball, the marriage of the King's brother, are stunning. Some of France's best acting talent is on display although I think Cassel and Duris are miscast. They don't do it for me. Matters aren't helped by some of the worst subtitles I've ever seen. Really bad. In summary, worth a watch but nowhere near as exciting as it should have been. It seems we have another part to come. Perhaps they'll hit their stride in that one.
The Northman (2022)
Nordic Pap
Boring Viking mumbo jumbo masquerading as entertainment. Chock full of ridiculous plot lines and cringe-making lines. I'm sure you can find better ways of wasting your time.
La migliore offerta (2013)
Nothing to recommend it
A silly film. The plot is simply not credible and it never really gets off first base because of that. And the dialogue is terribly stilted. People simply don't talk like that. What Rush was doing in it I'll never know. Must have needed the money, I suppose.
Ambulance (2022)
Beyond Bad
Oh dear! Words fail me. The whole cast (and there's some proven talent here) must be having nightmares about allowing themselves to get involved in this joke of a movie. The producer/director shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a film set for the rest of his natural life.