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georgiawriter
Reviews
Lu Xing Sha (2020)
Deep Blue Sea Wannabe
Oh my word! Where do I even begin? The acting is ridiculously amateur and over the top-simply laughable. The special effects are cartoonish and obviously fake. This movie is supposed to be suspenseful and scary but the movie is so bad that it makes you laugh all the way through. The plot is the same as the movie Deep Blue Sea where an underwater lab is using shark genes to cure human disease, but then the shark goes crazy and bursts through the glass into the underwater lab. When you finally see the shark inside the underwater lab, it's about 20 times smaller than earlier in the movie! What??? And the shark's size continues to fluctuate throughout the movie (and he roars-sharks don't roar). There is NO continuity with regard to the shark.
From there everyone in the lab is trapped and they are eaten one by one by the plastic-looking shark as they try to find a way to the surface. Sound familiar? Deep Blue Sea. The only difference? This cartoon shark can walk (wobble) on land. This is the stupidest movie I've seen in a very long time. Please don't waste your time.
The Haunting of Lanquetot (2024)
Waste of time
This movie is a complete waste of time. From the horrible script to the amateur acting, it was all I could do to sit through the first 30 minutes. The acting is beyond terrible with performances worse than those in a high school play, which I might add would probably be better than the amateur class of actors in this piece of garbage. Because of the over-the-top fake performances by the so-called actors, I had to call it quits after 30 minutes because I couldn't stand listening to it any longer. I was pulling my hair out. How does a movie like this even get made? This movie has no redeeming qualities. The special effects were obviously done on a computer and don't look real at all. This movie is so bad that it's laughable. It's a film that tries to be serious, but all you can do is laugh because it's so bad. This is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Do not waste your time unless you want to riff it in the spirit of Mystery Science Theater 3000.
The Full Moon Fathers (2022)
Amateur in every aspect
This film has absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Usually with low budget efforts like this there is at least one actor with experience, but this film manages to find an entire cast of the worst actors possible. The audio is horrendous. I had to keep adjusting my volume up and down because of the inconsistencies in the sound editing. You can barely hear anything that the actors are saying so you have to turn your volume up to 100. However, if there is an explosion or music then the sound is the loudest thing on the planet and it jolts you out of your chair. The CGI special effects, especially the blood splatter after someone is shot, is laughable. There is no way that blood atomizes into the air the size of a dinner plate when someone is fully clothed and shot in the chest. There are many times in this movie where the director is trying to be serious, but it winds up just laughable because the dialogue, the sound, and the special effects are so poor. Don't waste your time on this sorry excuse for a movie.
Catskill Park (2018)
Amateur Garbage
I think high school drama class students could have delivered a more convincing portrayal of the main characters in this movie. The acting is forced, almost comedic in parts where the film is supposed to be serious and suspenseful. The constant arguing between the two male friends early in the movie is annoying and it made me want to turn it off after about 15 minutes. Although painful to watch, I kept at it and finally some action took place around the 30 minute mark. However, the film goes downhill from there and this found footage novelty isn't worth your time. The effects are lame and the camera angle of the characters running through the forest in the dark is unrealistic; the lens is too far away from the actor for him to be holding it with his hands. It's obvious a third party non-cast member was holding the camera in front of him. Skip this piece of garbage and save your time.
Invited (2024)
Horrible piece of garbage
I couldn't help myself. I raced to write a review about this piece of garbage. The acting is horrible. I think high school drama students could've done a better job than this group of so-called actors. Family members are attending a wedding ceremony of their daughter via a zoom call. All the family members are in the United States but the wedding is taking place in Russia. Things go horribly wrong during the wedding ceremony and the reaction of the family members is so over the top it's laughable. The storyline is laughable. How in the world do movies this bad actually get made? I wanted to turn it off after the first 10 to 15 minutes but I stuck it out throughout the whole thing just to prove my point at what a piece of garbage this movie is. Do not waste your time. This is worse than a junior high school film project. If I could rate it as a zero, I would.
Loon Lake (2022)
Don't waste your time
Don't waste your time on this equivalent of a high school film project. The sound editing is horrible (echoing sound during the conversation with the convenience store clerk at the beginning of the movie), lousy overall editing especially the supposed car crash that had missing film frames, amateur acting, and amateur special effects. Even while the car is supposedly moving down the road you can tell the outside scenery is obviously fake and the car isn't really moving. And the writing... oh my word; the script is also amateurish. For example, the wife tells her husband in the car that there is no scientific evidence that smoking is bad for a pregnant woman so she will abstain when he offers her a lit joint. Really? But why then, knowing she is pregnant, is she drinking wine 15 minutes later in the movie? And then the couple is having a romantic moment slow dancing to music in the living room and the husband tells his wife she smells "ripe" and needs a shower. What man in their right mind hoping to get "lucky" that night would have the nerve to say that to his wife? That's just one example of how ridiculous the dialogue is. And don't get me started on all the mold on the shower tile and soap scum in the tub during the shower scene. That was a disgustingly filthy bathroom the wife was showering in. Too bad I'm not allowed to rate this movie zero or less. I think high schoolers could have done a much better job than this sorry excuse for a movie.
Those Who Call (2023)
Difficult to watch; annoying characters
I quickly grew tired of the bickering between the sisters. The Sandra character grated on my nerves like a spoiled brat and I wanted to slap her right off the TV screen every time she opened her mouth. If you're afraid of what might be out to get you in the forest then keep your voice down for crying out loud. She was so LOUD and all she did was gripe and blame, gripe and whine. I couldn't get through this movie to the end because Sandra was the most annoying character I have ever seen in a movie. I had to turn it off while they were still wandering around in the woods. The acting was amateurish and the storyline wasn't believable. Who in their right mind funds a movie like this?