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jaredprophet
Reviews
Spoonful of Sugar (2022)
People making the WORST decisions.
This is impressive.
It's The Hand That Rocks The Cradle, but way more weird and creepy.
I wasn't ready for this. This is going to sit with me for a while.
The Chapstick at the end was an interesting detail.
I watched this on AMC+/Shudder. It has a listed release date of March 2, 2023, but it dropped early. On the 21st or before. Probably after the Winter Film Awards International Film Festival in New York on Sunday the 19th.
I have dug Kat Foster in a bunch of TV shows, 'Til Death (2006-2008), Your Family Or Mine (2015) and more.
This is one of at least 9 Mommy Horror movie's we're getting this year. Also Baby Ruby, Birth/Rebirth, Blood, House/Wife, Huesera: The Bone Woman, M3GAN, There's Something Wrong With the Children and They Wait in the Dark. There's probably more I've forgotten. I think the moral of the stories is, don't have kids.
Velma: The Sins of the Fathers and Some of the Mothers (2023)
Now we are cooking with gas!
With only 2 weeks/4 episodes to go, the series isn't stopping for anything. We learn sooooooooo very much in this episode.
Daphne gets the answers she was looking for. They were not what she expected, but like in most TV shows, Daphne learns that the ones who have been with her all along we always the ones who loved her most.
Shaggy has so much to process and work through. He's finding his way into being his own man.
Fred gets some growth. A little. And a new girlfriend...?
Velma finds a coping mechanism, and so much more...
We learn the meaning of "Scoobi" from the early trailers? The "What is Scoobi". That mystery gets more or less solved.
And then the mid-credits scene has a really BIG moment. It's fairly par-for-the-course for this series, but at the same time, it hints that a thing probably is about to happen that has NEVER happened in a Scooby-Doo series before. It's WILD.
Another great episode of a really great series.
Velma: Marching Band Sleepover (2023)
NOT THE PIZZAS!!!
The swirling mysteries as the center of this show are really kicking it up a notch this week.
It feels like band stuff is a nod to the "Band Camp" stuff in American Pie. But for a show that gets endless HATE (supposedly) for Sex stuff, this badn stuff REALLY goes a different hilarious way. Every scene with the band geeks is so funny and unexpected.
We also get a lot of new revelations surrounding the various mysteries. Everyone is learning so many new things.
And we getting loving easter eggs to other Hanna Barbera things. This show really hasn't done too much of that before, but we get some BIG call outs in this and the following episode.
Another great episode of a really great show.
Velma: Velma Makes a List (2023)
Shaggy Says No.
This episode really begins to open up the mystery.
Velma learns things about the disappearance of her mom.
Daphne learns things about her birth parents.
Shaggy learns so many things about his dad, and the powers of a good sweater.
Fred, surprisingly learns about feminism. Which is hilarious.
There's also a beauty contest, which becomes a different beauty contest, which becomes a different kind of beauty lessons, which again becomes an entirely different thing. A few more times. To return to the previous status quo.
Also Shaggy says NO to a thing near the end, showing everyone that the original characters are in there, and that the whole cast will find their way to the versions we've known for decades, more or less, by the end.
Another great episode of a great show.
Velma: Velma Kai (2023)
Now Fight!
This episode explores the dynamic between Daphne and Velma. So much !!!!! After the previous episode.
So they have to fight. But first, they have to make their way through all of the challengers to get to be the final two.
You'd think that Velma would get quickly eliminated but she's more than expected.
We also get tons of awesome Sam Richardson as Norville/Shaggy in this episode.
The Fred stuff is sooooo very weird, but also a lot of fun.
This series really gets better and better with each episode. Teasing out a little more information about the murder mystery at the core. And the mystery of the disappearance of Velma's mom.
I really love this show.
Velma: The Candy (Wo)man (2023)
Leading up to a kiss!
This episode takes some wild swings with the drug dealing and what not, but these early hints at the mystery at the core of this series are tantalizing.
And the monstrous hallucinations that Velma has are incredible. They are so gripping and terrifying.
From the way episode 2 ends, you can tell that the series is going to unfold in incredible ways. Much like Willow.
Willow was a goofy movie, and the series starts out a bit goofy because none of the characters have ever been challenged, but by the end they've been through some things and have gained skills and grown as characters.
And I can tell from the end of this episode, it's the very same for Velma.
This show is incredible and this is a great episode.
Velma: Velma (2023)
This delivered on what Mindy Kaling Promised
Velma is an outsider nerd and Daphne is a popular girl, just like we saw in the Daphne & Velma movie and in the Daphne & Velma books from Scholastic.
Anyone melting down about this HBO Max Velma show, really hasn't seen the crime committed against Mystery Incorporated on the Venture Bros show. Which was also a Warner Bros show. They were murderous drug dealers who came to a violent end.
There's punk band named Me First And The Gimme Gimmes who made a name for themselves by doing punk covers of 70s soft rock hits. The same way Type O Negative gained popularity by covering Summer Breeze.
Velma is like that. Different, but very familiar all at the same time.
Lady Hyde (2022)
Low budget movie leans into Weird/Art/Nude
I watched LADY HYDE on Tubi, free w/ ads.
The opening of this is pretty slow and looks like it was shot on Super 8 w/o audio. Which might be to match some vintage home movies stock footage.
Little of the dialog matches the lips. A lot of the framing feels off, and people are uncomfortably close to walls.
It's really easy to write this off as a bad, low budget film, but there's a lot of interesting choices. Which has been my mantra, if you can't make it good, make it weird.
Also helping make this more interesting is actress Liz Clare getting naked. A lot. She plays the titular Lady Hyde, Jane Graham. She seduces the people she hold responsible for her husband's death, before murdering them.
The one Tweet currently about the film comes from the director/writer/editor/male lead, Jason Rudy, "My latest film, Lady Hyde is now on Tubi for everyone to watch for free!
I filmed it using the Franco list and is a modern update on She Killed in Ecstasy."
In addition to writing, directing, editing and staring as the male lead, which includes sex scenes, Jason Rudy apparently did the "artwork" hanging on the walls, in some of the scenes.
This is only 78 minutes and interesting enough.
The Devil's Agent (1962)
I think Peter Cushing is the passed out drunk
The Devil's Agent (1962) is often listed as one of the 24 film is in which both Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing both appear. The Curse of Frankenstein, The Horror of Dracula, Horror Express and more...
But there appears to be an open question as to if Peter Cushing is actually in this movie. According to blog posts I've read, press reports of the time had Peter Cushing having been signed to the production.
One of the factors of this being an open question is that this movie is not easy to get a hold of. Sinister Cinema did release this on DVD-R, and the movie did get an official DVD release in Germany. I'm unsure if these are still available. The movie is not on any streaming service or VOD platform in the US. It does appear to currently be on the Internet Archive, but how long it lasts there is uncertain.
Having seen it on Archive, I would posit that the drunk passed out at the table in the bar with a woman who gives him looks before leaving, could very possibly be Peter Cushing.
The hair line of the drunk very much looks like the hair line of Peter Cushing.
Why Peter Cushing isn't in the movie more is a mystery that we may never know the answer to. Apparently when asked about the movie many years later, the super busy actor had no memory of the production. There is likely no one still alive who could possibly know the answer.
The Munsters (2022)
Brightly Colored Fun!!!
After seeing the trailer for the first time, I was not impressed. But with each subsequent viewing of the trailer, I got more and more excited about the movie.
This is brightly colored, it's silly, and it's giant piles of fun.
If you think we need a Batman movie that's darker and grittier than what we've already gotten, this isn't going to work for you. If you loved Zack Snyder's Justice League and harass people online about it, this movie is not for you.
Sheri Moon Zombie, Daniel Roebuck, Jeff Daniel Phillips, Sylvester McCoy, Richard Brake, and Jorge Garcia all do a great job.
The Count Orlak stuff is hilarious.
I also loved the shout out to all 3 Creature from the Black Lagoon movies. There's other shout-outs to other beloved Universal IP, that would have existed in the era of the original show.
There's a bunch of things that set up stuff in the original series, as this is a prequel.
This movie picks a lane, and drives hard in it. If you're enjoying the movie by the time Herman shows up, you should enjoy the entire movie.
I found this to be giant piles of fun. I really hope we get another one.
A Haunting in Ravenwood (2021)
Another solid Calvin Morie McCarthy film.
I watched A Haunting In Ravenwood on Tubi. Free w/ ads.
This is the third film from Portland director Calvin Morie McCarthy. He does a lot with these small budgets and his work gets better and better. And these three movies are distinctly different from one another.
This movie is about a newlywed woman who has moved into a haunted house with her new husband, and spends a lot of time alone in the spooky house, wondering if she is being haunted or going mad.
This is well done and features some brief nudity.
This really works. Chynna Rae Shurts and Calvin Morie McCarthy are both worth paying attention to in the future.
Der Fluch der schwarzen Schwestern (1973)
A Coven of Vampire Lesbians Dance Naked
I watched Vampire Ecstasy on Tubi. Free w/ ads.
An heir and her best friend have to stay in a castle for a year in order for her to inherit the castle.
A coven of vampire lesbians dance naked in the basement while chanting, to make the two girls super horny, as part of a plan to resurrect a vampire baroness.
WOW this is a lot. This isn't just naked women like The Shiver of Vampires. These women are touching each other and themselves, and nearly constantly.
The story is fine.
This is a German movie, but is in English. If it's dubbed, they did an incredible job of matching lips.
This is wild and I had a great time watching it.
Le frisson des vampires (1971)
French Sapphic Naked Vampire Film
I watched this on Tubi. Free w/ ads.
I went to Tubi to watch a third 7th Street Productions film, but found a 1971 Vampire film I haven't heard of before.
This is director/writer Jean Rollin's third film/third vampire film.
This is in French w/ English subtitles.
This starts with some nonsensical dude vampires staking themselves in front of a couple of young looking girls, probably vampires. Then there's some boring traveling stuff with a pair of newlyweds.
At the 20 minute mark thinks start getting naked, and therefore way more interesting.
The story is about some vampires turning the bride into a vampire slowly over the course of the movie, and dude having issues with that.
It's okay. The ample nudity covers a lot of sins in the story.
Mutant Vampires from the Planet Neptune (2021)
Low Budget Good Time
I watched Mutant Vampires From The Planet Neptune on Tubi, free w/ ads.
This is another cheap horror film from Calvin Morie McCarthy. Higher production values than Jesus, I Was Evil.
5 friends go out to party in a cabin in the woods, and party they do. But a Mutant Vampire alien has other ideas.
The core cast does a great job. You can really feel the bonding.
I really like the mask/costume of the Mutant Vampire. It's so cool.
There's also a really great drone tracking shot that works really well. And I liked the Mutant Vision thing.
Several of the cast did get topless in this.
This was a good time.
Jesus I Was Evil (2018)
This very low budget movie is decent enough.
I watched this on FreeVee, free w/ ads. (Prime Video)
I'm FB friends with the director Calvin Morie McCarthy and have competed against him in some 72 Hour Film contests around town, here in Portland, and probably met him briefly at the events. I also recognize a few cast members from around town.
The story is two door-to-door Christian Girls who are on a killing spree of heathens.
The sounds is a little uneven.
Both Melissa Crosland and Airisa Durand were believable.
There is a decent amount of blood in this. Could be bloodier. One of the "other" members of the cast does get topless.
This very low budget movie is decent enough.
A League of Their Own (2022)
This is Fantastic!!!
The original movie was mildly feminist in the girls can do things kind of way. It's a very 90s movie. I saw it. I more or less enjoyed it. It was nearly as enjoyable as Another Stake Out and The Flintstones. I haven't really felt the need to watch it again.
Hearing that there was a new version in the offing was interesting. Sure I was going to check it out, but my expectations were low. It's about baseball.
THIS SHOW IS AMAZING!!!!
It's not just baseball. These women have all sorts of struggle going on that they're trying to overcome.
I really don't know what's going to happen in the last 2 episodes.
I really hope we get a season 2.
I'm a straight, white, cis dude who really prefers movies/shows with monsters, robots or superheroes and I absolutely LOVE this show.
Ms. Marvel: Generation Why (2022)
A GREAT START TO A GREAT SHOW
This was sucj a great introduction to such an interesting character/hero.
I LOVE the visual style of the show.
Iman Vellani is a joy to behold on the show.
I can't wait to see her team up with other heroes.