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EthernalMoment
-1 If face on the poster (this gives hilariously precise estimation, and for a reason)
-1...+2 Image, camera production
0...+3 Music, ambient
-2...+3 Plot, logic
-2...+3 Genre specifics (comedy - humour quality, history - document accuracy, etc. Also, here supposed value of movie from next 50 years point of view)
=1: instant if TV series (quantity vs quality)
Ratings
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Reviews
Outcast (1999)
Too unfinished to be worth checking.
It could be quite interesting and worth playing 8/10 adventure that has the historic place and recognition and not perfectly trivial essence, but at the current buggy and unpolished state it should not be remembered or played.
The list of ~must be fixed~ problems is:
- bugs, including breaking bug on items disappearing during talk skip
- alt tab crash
- ingame save dates not shown
- object detector NOT reacting on re-spawnable items,
- map scale kept, not resetting on every location
- visible NPC names after first discover instead of tons of spawned dummies
- quest log properly fixed, no leftovers entries everywhere
Without all the fixes, it's only 3/10 unfourtanetly.
In Space with Markiplier (2022)
The plot feels AI-generated
It's hard to review this as a solid work because it's actually more a set of sketches which have too limited connection to each other and too chaotic nature to call it a story.
If to take an average Sci-Fi plot, feed each paragraph into ML with requests like:
"rewrite this with surprising event",
"rewrite this as Noir",
"rewrite this as horror",
and then manually add a portion of humour,
I think the result will be the plot of "In Space...".
Now if to look on each sketch, they usually have:
- professional quality image and renders
- nice humour
- some classic Sci-Fi vibes (that is soft fantasy Sci-Fi type)
- acting sometimes annoying YT style, sometimes they fit well
The choices between sketches affect very little - the story goes randomly on it's own.
It's clear there were many work and hours put into creating and some parts are fun, yet loosely connected story and an illusion of choices.devalues overall.
Top Gun: Maverick (2022)
Movie has nothing to do with the jet fighters
Here is one of the first lines of the film (not a spoiler):
"Well, sir, normally this would be a cakewalk for the F-35's stealth, but the GPS-jamming negates that."
I assume anyone 15+ who reads this will be puzzled who placed random words in Tom Cruise movie lines and why plot was not checked by aviation enthusiasts (needless to mention military experts)?
Don't worry, you won't be puzzled too long for random dialog lines. Because random story events will be higher concern.
Much better to consider this a comics, except also necessary to tell actors such an important detail during filming so they portray less usual characters.
It works well as an emotional fairy tail about people and military duty, but have zero respect and no passion for aviation and reality.
Peaky Blinders (2013)
Consistently hilariously lame plot
Well, my rule that if they have face as main part of poster, than it will be lame and not worthy, worked again.
Many times this reminds Godfather, but don't be fooled - only picture has level of Godfather. Everything else is incomparably worse.
- Picture, camera work, scene producing is genius. Historic reconstruction of many places they made is absolutely the strongest part of the series. It is 10/10
For example, when they show an Italian newspaper, it is actually not like cheap translation, it is actually Italian text with smart in-screen subtitle approach.
- Music work is seriously impressive, though not genius. Noticeably repetitive. They've got a number of stylish tracks, like "Anna Calvi - Wish". Not a spoiler. 8/10
- Plot and logic and realism is the worst part of this. It's so consistently fails, that you just want characters to die faster, to stop their suffering.
In fact, PB slogan should not be "don't f* with Picky Blinders", but "don't worry, our characters never die, because our series are never supposed to end". 2/10
- Overall, this is an obvious attempt to do British Godfather, which failed due to lack of depth behind episodes and behind cool acting.
Don't waste your time, and if you in a mood for something similar - watch Godfather.
The 7th Guest (1993)
Incredibly awful
Years ago it may've been some sort of new tech demo version, but as a story or a puzzle or a world, value of this game with years dropped to negative.
Cannot find a single good aspect:
1) Puzzles:
Of ~25 puzzles 24 are templated, easy and do not require brain. In a puzzle game.
Instead of creating something tricky and fresh, they just put chess pieces in a bunch of them and called it a day.
And as a bonus you will get 2 time wasters i.e. Puzzles which are unsolvable by design without triggers. Sole purpose of them is not to allow too fluent progress. (Cans puzzle require book hint which you can get only if you wander around and randomly hit book 3 times which is hours and hours (because there is no evidence that book content changes with new attempts), and castle picture puzzle - maybe not a big hinder, but just annoying to discover that you simply intended to retry it multiple times).
And even more annoying wasters like piano or maze which are not even puzzles.
Only single puzzle in all game is actually tricky, but still does not worth mention because it's not unique and better to play it separately (infection game).
2) Story:
It's not creepy, but just clearly not healthy (reminds here and there hallucinations which people with damaged neurons get). Also, is not well put together - just random pieces thrown in you, mostly repulsive and unfinished.
3) Ambient/sounds: loud, specifically annoying noises all the game which cannot be skipped.
4) Interface: everything is slow, mouse control is unresponsive.
5) Visuals: a lot of unpleasant distortions, completely chaotic - and it's visible that not by intention, but because they called it a day on regular basis instead of making improvements.
This is modern point of view, i.e. For people who like to try discover old games randomly and who are not restricted by nostalgic memories; A lot of other games actually are good wine, like Sierra/Monkey Island quests - they still easily 8+/10.
While this specific game better be completely removed from new public attention and touched only by tech historians.
Rick and Morty (2013)
Badly overrated
30-60% of this show are digestion jokes.
All sorts of them, types, variations, special episodes for pooping and so on.
Probably whole Rick and Morty script was written either in toilet, either under alcohol.
On top of that writers are much less professional and qualified than in Futurama - series to which R&M compared most.
So it's as simple as. Rick and Morty 3/10 and Futurama 10/10.
Ford v Ferrari (2019)
Not reccomended for dedicated racing fans.
Basically, this is 80% drama, 20% racing film.
About 80% drama -
one actor, as always, deserves a honourable mention - Matt Daemon is annoying and slightly misses the character.
About 20% racing -
accuracy is too arcade at some points. For example, contains classic recycle bin scene when two drivers are going side-by-side and then one of them is pressing the throttle "even more".
Sure, such scene more realistic for le-man than for other racing series, but still too exaggerated.
Image and camera work are not bad, nor top level. No special OST.
What appears to be indeed interesting - that film is based on an incredible real story.
Overall, it's not a movie that you want to watch twice, much lower quality/art than TT3D or Rush.
Gabriel Knight: Sins of the Fathers (1993)
Review and some useful hints
Only 6/10 due to 3 puzzles in game which sole purpose was to slowdown progress.
Also, too much inventory junk which in modern era already is non conventional. Really wish that was fixed - than it's probably 8/10 or even higher.
Back then that was valid approach, but today just not enjoyable.
Specifically, without spoilers:
- yes, you actually need to use German to solve one of puzzles, even when it's obvious that it's requirement excessive
- there is nasty pixel hunt in one event, a new object will appear on the table
- once you will need to read chapter intro text to solve puzzle (seems no other hints available in the game)
- during one of time attack events you need to use specifically "gears" action while it's obvious that it belongs also to "grab" action in other parts of game
- during very last game stages important item is used like short-range, but then suddenly it's long-range under time attack events
General approach: in about half of cases you can figure out solution by simply restarting the day and paying attention; don't forget to save before the day end.
Discworld (1995)
Stable candidate for the best game ever created
Astonishing ambient, puzzles and humour are on the edge of imagination (and sometimes are over the edge). Each location is fresh and hilarious and surprising art with soul.
Unfortunately, some puzzles are too random and almost unsolvable. Without walkthrough, they will require wasted days.
And yet, it may be worth to try to have a coop play with friends, but without checking spoilers and easy solutions at all.
May be about 3 actions during the game are too hard to figure out in any way - the choice is 2-3 wasted days on each of them or checking UHS.
As in the title, I'd nominate Discword, possibly whole series 1-2-3 (Noir) for the best game ever created. Somewhere near Portal and Planescape (and may be some other).
Diaries of a Spaceport Janitor (2016)
Absolutely horrible
Regret every second of trying this.
Not only this is bad, but also contains breaking stop-bugs. Basically the reason why Imdb completely annihilates metacritic at the moment.
The Martian (2015)
Ode to Matt Damon
This film could be so much better if only Matt Damon tried harder. Tried harder to avoid the role.
Other than that, decent story which raises a lot of complex natural and scientific subjects. Far from perfect, contains flaws, which are still interesting to guess during watch.
Koyaanisqatsi (1982)
Yes, however
Other reviews got quite truncated idea of what is going on in the film.
First of all, 90% of the film now has only historic value and are close to boring.
For the other 10%, you will see in them only what you capable of. This also means a bit unusual criteria - that film worth to be watched only by people who already have some "enlightenment".
Simple test: can you recall (very approximately, twice lower or twice higher is ok) age of Earth and age of multicellular life?
If you can't - no point watching. There is no necessary background (related to whole set of natural knowledge, from biology to astronomy and even philosophy of science.)
If you can - these 10% of film will be one of the most memorable experiences cinema ever can give.
Contact (1997)
Interesting classic movie
Most noticeable part is film introduction and it is made so well that definitely worth the "Sci-" part of Sci-Fi.
This is extremely rare, less than hundred films in history have right to be called "Sci-", all other are fantasy or cartoon (like Star Wars).
However, nothing is perfect and (same as Interstellar, but even more) on second half the genre of the film changes to fantasy melodrama.
Same as Interstellar, some characters act terrible, like they play themselves, not actual professionals or smart people they intended to be by plot.
Overall and without spoilers - worth watching, but not "must".