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Reviews
Halo (2022)
And all the stars are for S2
It feels like they wanted the Halo brand without the limitations of the pre-existing Halo canon. Season 1 is completely skippable and was honestly tough to get through. Too much focus on the man in the suit, not the events around him. A lot of poorly written attempts at angst and shiny special effects to cover up the blatant deficiencies.
Season 2 is somewhat more on brand so far and is closer to what I expect fans of the Halo games were hoping for. It's not incredible yet, more just okay.
If you've never played the games or didn't play the campaign modes you might like this. If you did you'll probably find it lacking.
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds (2022)
Just meh.
I've enjoyed many Star Trek series, but this one feels like the Star Trek made for people who didn't really like Star Trek. I guess if that's you, you might really like this series.
The writing feels lazy and the seasons being so short means there is not enough character development time for a cast of this size. They keep awkwardly jamming in character backstory and setting up illogical "emotional" moments to the point that this feels more like Star Trek: AO3 than anything that should be canon. I couldn't even bring myself to really care about any of the main characters, which is new for me in a Star Trek offering. It's shiny and new, but that's about all it is.
Honestly disappointing.
Star Trek: Picard (2020)
Love Letter to TNG Fans
I can't give this series 10/10 because season 2 existed.
The first season was interesting with some nostalgic tie ins. Not absolutely incredible, but very good. 8/10
The second season was hot garbage that felt like people who hadn't liked (or even watched) TNG had hijacked it to make poorly veiled political commentary. 2/10 and both points are for John de Lancie giving a great performance for the few minutes he's in it.
The third season was magic. Everything I hoped the show would be. The season was exciting, interesting, and a clear love letter to the fans. Perfection. A fantastic last voyage for the crew of the USS Enterprise D. 10/10.
Malignant (2021)
Get drunk first
The movie isn't a 1 because of the humor. Several characters are pretty funny, but a lot of the movie looks like it's framed as being serious. I'm not positive which way they were trying to go.
It was something watching what looked for half the movie like the lead singer from Slipknot killing people.
This is best characterized as satire, imo, but I'm not sure the movie was meant to be that. Many of the "twists" were easy to see and the acting was sub par from actors I've seen do much better. The characters were pretty ridiculous and the story is abysmal.
If you're looking for something to get drunk with friends and laugh at, this is it. If you're looking for a horror film, this is not.
Saints Row (2022)
Tame Nonsense
I loved the original Saints Row series, so I was thrilled to see that this series was being redone. I was excited for ridiculous mini games and it's particular brand of crude humor. This has literally none of that.
This game is what happens when you hand over a game series that is beloved because it's raucous and ridiculous to a bunch of people who are scared to offend people. All of the humor is gone, replaced with a bunch of boring side-kicks who complain unfunnily about capitalism and paying off student loans.
It plays okay, but there's NOTHING in it that makes you want to keep playing.
I don't know what this is, but it is not a Saints Row game. It's trash made with a bunch of bad Gen Z stereotypes with the hope that the pride flags slapped around the town will make people ignore the fact that there is no substance to the game. Save your money, in my opinion this is best experienced when it's a monthly free game. It's certainly not worth much more than that.
Motherland: Fort Salem: Say the Words (2020)
I wasn't sold. Yet.
As fun as some of this episode is, it's not really representative of the rest of the show. The characters are still being felt out, and the story is too fast paced because they're trying to hook you. The opening was epic, and the promise of the music and cinematography drew me in. I'm very glad I kept watching, in my opinion the show gets much much better.
The Cabin in the Woods (2011)
THIS IS A DEADPAN SATIRE
The marketing for this movie really looked more like a horror film, so a lot of people were disappointed by it. Personally the humor was spot on for me.
Murder on the Orient Express (2017)
They tried
Clearly they tried to bring more action and flash to the world of Poirot, but lost ALL of the emotional punch of this story by doing so.
If you're looking for a mindless flashy movie with a twist, this is for you. If you're looking for a cerebral murder mystery with devastating morality decisions, watch the Murder on the Orient Express episode of Agatha Christie's Poirot instead.
Deadpool (2016)
Ultimately a Love Story
If you're a big comic Deadpool fan or find teenage boy humor really funny, you'll probably love the film.
Definitely don't think I was the target audience for this one because the humor that is supposed to be part of the draw here was not hitting. I found Deadpool the character desperately unfunny, which I'm not surprised about because everything I've seen of the comic character was much the same.
The fight scenes were pretty good, but the CGI was poorly blended. The story arc was kind of a parody of the traditional superhero story, just with the added bonus of a quest to fix his face. Overall, not really worth it in my opinion to sit through the non-stop quips.
Motherland: Fort Salem (2020)
Addictive Fun
Honestly, I was very skeptical when I heard the premise: Military Witches is a very specific niche. After watching the first few episodes, though, I was hooked. Amazing music, cinematography and organic chemistry between the cast makes the flaws easy to overlook. The refreshingly original concept stands out amongst the multitude of other rehashed shows.
It should be noted, however, if you're the kind of viewer who won't watch something unless it has explicit sex and violence, this is not the show for you. Likewise if you can't empathize with female lead characters, as there are no real male leads.
My complaint is the rushed nature of the storyline; 10 episode seasons means a lot had to be hustled through in a short period of time. Had there been a few more episodes per season I think it would have helped with the flow.