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The Beekeeper (2024)
Oddly satisfying
Not a masterpiece, but who doesn't want to murder internet scammers. Also interesting that the movie brings up the topic of campaign funds. In the US, every politician is a multi millionaire, is that representative?
Anyhow, Jason is as fun as always and works well as a "righter of wrongs". The villains are whiney pricks who feed off the vulnerable so extra gratification in their eradication.
I watched this out of the blue when it popped up on prime and it kept me sitting for the duration so that has to mean something since I'm normally very judgy and cynical. Maybe my hatred for cowardly trolls and online criminals played into this, but hey, in a world of influencers, consider me influenced.
Road House (2024)
Peter Griffin
Not that the original Road House was a great movie in any way, but this is just sad and pathetic. If the story was weak in the original, this one takes it to a new level. It has nice action bits between the cringeworthy moments where actual story is being made and it feels like it's catering for an increasingly dumber audience.
I respect Connor McGregor for what he's done with his life so far (until he turned into Trump/Tate), and he has a menacing presence. Hope we we'll see him in more movies if he gets his head out of his... (sun don't shine place).
Anyhow, I watched this in lieu of other things to do, and I kept saying ROADHOUSE in my pretend Peter Griffin voice over and over again. That alone earns it 3 stars, apart from that it's absolute garbage.
Gangs of London (2020)
One triple-cross too many
Ever watched one of those day time soap operas referred to as novellas? Well looks like the writers of GoL have migrated from there. Every episode features at least one double cross and some sort of twist where a main character shifts allegiance (once again). All we are waiting for now is the magic return of the evil brother everyone thought was dead, oh but wait that already happened. So what's left now? The pool boy is actually a millionaire which is secretly the son of his own sister and in love with his best friends wife?
And what does all this scheming amount to? Full automatic fire assaults! If it wasn't for the magically obtained drive with information on the investors (no scheming involved, Sean just happens to have it), none of the schemes have actually resulted in anything, except massive slaughters.
If you can stomach that no single character (with the possible exception of Sean Wallace) has any consistency whatsoever and completely changes from loving interior decorator moms to cop killers and from snivelling heroin addicts to super sharp conciglieres within the span of a day or two, you still have to live with the completely random script. It seems like the writers start fresh with every episode, and it feels more like level design of a video game than a tv show. I started face palming after the third major boss fight for Elliot, when he once again encounters a huge muscular foe which he for some reason always must fight hand to hand. And don't get me started on Luan's donkey braying, desperate multiple foe takedowns.
And just one more thing about the writing. After Seans not so surprising return from the dead, what is his major super secret plan to take back London? He drives around in a red car killing low level street people. Then he schemes, and voila, the compulsory fire line of bad guys with automatic weapons appear again. And of course his mother, who just found out he's alive now schemes to have him killed for some random reason.
This show has some sort of entertainment value, but an 8 it most definitely isn't.
Infinite (2021)
I expected nothing......
And that's what I got.
This one had been sitting in my watchlist for a while and last night I did the bad mistake of giving it a chance.
Feels like they tried to cram in 50 books in one movie which left absolutely no space for anything to make sense. No idea why characters did what they did and I just wanted them all to die.
You could argue that the action in itself could be a redeeming feature, but the Matrix wannabee scenes just feels lame coupled with a nauseating pious soundtrack.
And just the names of the factions...... Believers vs. Nihilists......Why not just come out and call it Christians vs. Atheists.
So to the face palm moments:
*Why didn't the bad guy just use his "suck a soul" gun on himself? No need to kill the world if he just wanted to stop reincarnating.
*Why did the bad guy have to fly his egg bomb to Glasgow, why not just detonate it instead of playing video games with his drones?
*Why didn't the Christians attack the evil bad guy's compound any time since it apparently only took one woman, one mortally wounded Mark Wahlberg on valium and a helicopter to defeat all his troops. So they could have "freed" their friends whenever they wanted.
*What's the motivation for the bad guy's stormtroopers? Did they all just want to die too or was the pay that good? I mean even if they didn't get killed by the Christians and supposedly won, the only outcome for them is to die horribly anyway. And if they all where infinite's as well and not just regular humans, they must all have been reincarnated from a long line of accountants given their ability to fight.
*What's with the lame "superpower"? He waves his hand a bit and suddenly he gets......balance?????
*Was Mark Wahlberg's masterplan to get shot in the back of the head? Seems well thought through.
*There's literally hundred of firearms lying around on the ground in the end battle, but the female lead, when wounded, chooses to engage in hand to hand combat.
There's so much more, but sc**w it, just don't waste your time.
The Walking Dead (2010)
TWD is dead
I would encourage anyone to watch and enjoy seasons 1-6, they are brilliant. I would also highly recommend anyone to buy and read the graphic novel. If they would have kept up the pace of the storyline we might have had an epic 10/10 masterpiece with a total of 8 or 9 seasons. But alas, the usual greed came in and made this show unwatchable. Being a hardcore fan of the graphic novel, I will give season 11 a chance, but if it's anything like season 10 (not to mention the dreadful seasons 7&8) and the horrible filler episodes (I don't want backstories, I can puzzle together an idea of the motivations of certain characters by small clues on my own), I will sadly stop watching and try to remember the brilliant beginning.
Overall I cannot in good conscience give TWD up until now more than a 5. If season 11 surprises me, I will revise.
The Walking Dead: Diverged (2021)
Stop this show.
I'm so disappointed, that I really dont have words for it. The last three episodes have have been absolute crap. I'm watching one more since I love the series, but if that one is as pointless as this, I'm done!
The Walking Dead: Splinter (2021)
I couldn't finish the last two episodes.
Wtf are the writers doing. Ep19 & 20 just drones on. I have all TWD albums and I love them, but this just have to stop. They're killing the show. Why why why do we have to watch 45 minutes of nothing?
The Walking Dead: Here's Negan (2021)
Pure boring
Wow, all the 10 clickers are out in force. The purpose of Negan is that you don't know the origin. Same as the Governor. That's what gave the comic it's originality.
I'll give season 11 one chance, and if it's just stupid rom com drama like season 10. I'm seriously done. And I'm a hardcore fan who has all the albums.
The Walking Dead: One More (2021)
Pointless filler.
Just meaningless filler. Nothing that adds to the story. Just boring.
Love and Monsters (2020)
Are teens this stupid?
I managed to suffer 15 minutes of this garbage. It's just nonsense, and boring.
To compare this to "Zombieland" is like comparing "The Godfather" to "Waterworld".
Netflix is again going for the pre-teen squad. If you're above 12, just skip this sh$t.
The Magnificent Seven (2016)
If you love churches
This was just painful, and a waste of such a talented cast. We had to endure that church for 25% of the movie. It means nothing to me, they could have burned and finished the movie in an outhouse as far as I'm concerned. The thing that got me laugh though was the all powerful "gatling" which obviously could destroy a whole village. I mean come on, if the bad guys had brought a couple of cannons......... With a "gatling" from that time and from that distance,,,,,,, keep your head down and you'll be fine. It's not a WMD. A Spencer rifle would have taken out the "gatling" operator easily.
The Irregulars (2021)
Another Netflix teeny show.
Is it horrible? No. Does teens seriously actually like this? I have no idea. I can still rewatch an episode of Buffy and smile but this is just too stupid.
Monster Hunter (2020)
Onga Bonga
What did cave man Ron Perlman do to deserve this, Onga Bonga.
I went in to this with an open mind but no. Just a sorry excuse to squeeze money out of a sequel. Just a ridiculous movie.
The Walking Dead: Find Me (2021)
A pointless filler episode.
Let's get back to the storyline and let's finish off this show before it gets more painfully pathetic.
Who cares about this cringeworthy episode? Are we watching a stupid rom com?
As an admirer of the comic I held this show as a solid 10 until the garbage people. Since then it's been downhill. Now I rate it as a low 7. So slow and boring.
Hoops (2020)
For 9-12 year olds with parents who can't read.
I love the fact that basically all the 10 clickers' only argument is that we should ignore all bad reviews.
This show is not edgy or intelligent, it's just boring and holds nothing to shows like Rick & Morty or Archer. I guess this is aimed at (or written by) pre pubescent teens with very low comprehension of language, who can't grasp sarcasm or the finer points of humor. If you crave gratification in profanity you can watch this or go hang out in some playground.
Is it the worst show ever? No! But why even make this? Spend the money on a third season of Happy instead.
Family Guy: Are You There God? It's Me, Peter (2018)
There is no god!
And there's no need for a good show like this to flirt with the subject. It only emboldens the imaginary friends lovers. A really crappy episode.
True Blood (2008)
There is no hymen!
I watched this show up until the moment the writers decided that it was a great idea to go back to the stone ages. The "virgin" vampire girl apparently has to suffer through eternity because she's going to regrow her hymen????? F$cking idiots, wake up, it's not the 1400's anymore. There is no hymen, never was and if you believe there is such a thing you are indoctrinated beyond belief. This ignorance ruined the show for me. F&ck the writers for not being educated at a reasonable level. As far as I'm concerned they should emigrate to Afghanistan and join the Taliban. At least they would be warm in their pants in their joint disrespect for women and the ignorance that supports these views.
Dunkirk (2017)
A movie about two cowards?
This is incredibly disrespectful to the men and women who aided the evacuation of Dunkirk.
We watch two identical looking boys trying to skip ahead of their comrades in arms by pretending to be stretcher bearers, hiding and lying etc.
I gave up on this piece of sh't after 32:48 just after one of the cowards who faked his way on the ship was running around looking for the fastest way out.
I served, and would gladly have thrown the main characters in to the screw (propeller). What a lousy script for Dunkirk.
Kingsman: The Golden Circle (2017)
The Swedish king is an idiot and this is not T2
I didn't mind this movie. It's great simple fun if you're in the mood for it. It does irk me a bit that they tried to milk out a sequel from a movie which success so heavily relied on an origin story. Eggsy now having dinner with the super smart Swedish king who interrogates on topics from world politics, economics, literature and art (fact check: the Swedish king is an uneducated spoiled idiot) is not just the same as when Eggsy had to deal with his heritage in the first movie.
Watch it by all means, but don't expect too much.
Fate: The Winx Saga (2021)
Just another teeny show
I never heard about "Winx" before this came up on Netflix. It was however so boring and predictable that I gave up 10 minutes in.
Swedish Dicks (2016)
Aimed at 6 year olds and 10 clickers?
I like the actor (Stormare), not so much the stand up comedian (Glans).
I love the fact that the 10 clickers as always just complains and states that everyone who doesn't love this is stupid, ignorant etc. etc. I guess most of you work with the show or in some capacity which would allow your company a possibility to squeeze out a little bit more money from this garbage.
But I seriously wonder who this show was intended for? 6 year olds with mixed Swedish and US language experience and mixed referential frameworks?
This show is just unnecessary and the fact that it was produced proves that the world is so dumb that I want to move to a different planet.
Kung fu (2004)
Meh
Pathetic slapstick jokes, predictable, juvenile and a lot of the usual Chinese homophobia combined with stereotypes and ballet style action.
If you think that is funny, watch this or maybe some "Benny Hill".
I managed about 30+ minutes before I decided to do something meaningful instead.
I watch and like a lot of Chinese productions, but this is just too childish.
Idiocracy (2006)
Are you laughing now?
Read the reviews which rates this movie between 1-3......
That alone combined with the fact that FoXXX produced this and subsequently tried to kill it...... Well, enough said.
Pacific Rim Uprising (2018)
A Rim Job
Managed 25 minutes before the teenage script sucked the oxygen out of the room.
I thoroughly enjoyed Pacific Rim, but this is just crap. All the characters are annoying and unbelievable so if you haven't seen the original movie go do that instead.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013)
Infantile
Come on, I mean, even the 10 clickers gives this piece of **^* credit for NOT having canned laughter.
If that's the standard we should hold shows at........Well.....
This is the same pathetic sexual innuendo and boring high school bull s*it that made "Friends" and "Scrubs" popular.
If you crave this dravel; please endorse the producers.