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Reviews
Near Dark (1987)
Better Than THE LOST BOYS, Coming From Someone Who Loves The Lost Boys
The film is very hard to find right now due to the fact that the company that owns its streaming rights is gatekeeping. Finally figured out a way to watch and was well worth it. Every performance is really well-done and it takes a unique Western approach to the vampire genre. I thought I had seen all the good 80s vampire movies, and thankfully I got to save the best for last.
Gas Pump Girls (1979)
The Plot of this Movie Is Literally Insane
The film largely lacked any 'so bad, it's good' moments; other than a startling musical number that had me rolling and was never mentioned again. Essentially, main girl's creepy Uncle fakes a heart attack and is about to lose his failing gas station. Main girl responds by getting her and her hot friends to run the gas station to get her Uncle out of foreclosure. Soon, their boyfriends and a gang of greasers start helping as well while competing with the evil corporate gas station across the street.
At one point, the group of kids have to pretend to be Arabic Oil Tycoons, cops, a harem, and one serious guy with a brief case in order to infiltrate big gas corporation.
WHUT.
Drive In Massacre (1976)
The Darkest Movie Ever Made... Literally
I will never retrieve the hour or so I wasted of my life watching this movie. Additionally, there was no lighting at all so most of the cinematography (being largely set at night) was near impossible to see. The film is drawn out and grating, but not in a fun, spanky way. However, there are slight glimpses of 'so bad, it's good' in a scene where both lead cops decide dressing as a young couple will help them blend in to the drive-in crowd.
Mortuary (1982)
A Great Movie to Riff On and Unhinged Bill Paxton Performance Seals the Deal
My friend and I originally saw this movie while looking at old Bill Paxton movies and this did not disappoint. It's the kind of bad that prompts a great interactive viewing. The glaring shortcomings of the acting, plot, and production quality are deeply entertaining and even if it's bad, it's so fun to make fun of. My friend and I found ourselves quoting even the worst parts of the movie and ugly laughing. "CHHHHRIIIIIIIISTTTTTTIIIEEEEEEE!"