Change Your Image
Balatoff
Reviews
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)
Only watch it where you can turn down the volume
Obviously, the Oscar is not really a sign of quality, as many movies, directors, actors and the such didn't receive the prize although they deserved it. But when I saw that a title won no less than 7 Oscars, with psychedelic multiverse sci-fi played by Asian actors and actresses nonetheless, I felt this is going to be a unique experience. As a matter of fact it was, but not in the way I imagined.
When you create a movie, you ought to have something in you that you want to give to the audience. It is not necessarily entertainment or thoughts, it could be pain, horror or uncomfortable questions as well. I don't mind if watching a movie turns out to be a harrowing experience, nor do I mind a sluggish, boring plot, and I can symphatize with the artistic added value of a fragmented vision. What I can not tolerate, however, when an incredibly cheap, shallow and platitudinous message is wrapped in multiple layers of indigestible, self-serving disarray and called art of a deep message. And that's exactly what EEAO delivers.
The scenes were masterfully crafted - in a bad sense. It could have been a challenging job to find worse solutions. My favourites were the hints on other movies such as Ratatouille and Matrix. Except that the former was entertaining and the latter had some actual meaning, both unlike the EEAO.
The sound deserves its own appraisal - again, in a bad sense. Normally it was just annoying. The shouting and screaming of the actors and actresses, the sound of the incessant explosions, impacts, collisions, shattering, blowing and deafening sound effects made almost the entire movie utterly nerve-racking. Over and over again, it felt good to turn down the volume. It wouldn't be a problem, if it served some artistic purpose - but it didn't. And self-serving pain is a fetish I do not exercise.
A word on the supposed "Asian culture" is necessary, because it is the integral part of the movie. There is no single "Asian culture". Asia is the largest and most populous continent on Earth, with many diverse cultures, some of which are incredibly deep, rich, old and flourishing even today. Thank God, they are nothing like in EEAO. The life of the immigrant Chinese (it is questionable how good a choice it was to blend Cantonese and Mandarin), is not living in full of stereotypes. When I saw the first instant transformation into a martial arts superman, I grabbed my pillow and covered my face in vicarious embarrassment. I wouldn't be surprised if an average Chinese immigrant would either see his or her artistic representation in a Western art or in a Chinese art, but not in this exercise of futility.
The only good part of the movie (when it was actually watchable) was the dialogue between the two stones in front of a nice landscape. This is why it gets +1 point instead of the 1 it would otherwise deserve. The whole concept and art would be so much more of a success, if the conversation of two stones were played with a nice landscape and with only the sound of a light breeze.
As a summary, I think this movie is a total disaster; it doesn't have any deep meaning, its art is terrible, its sound is insufferable, the acting is abysmal and it works with stereotypes which are.
And this movie got 7 Oscars; more than LOTR 1 and 2 combined.
I'll let that sink in.
The Witcher: Family (2021)
I like to have fun here, but I simply want to go home to another dimenson
This episode is really a cherry on the cake; a fitting end for a season behind it. First of all, it wraps up pretty much all the hidden motivations behind the season's stories. Sadly, these hidden motivations are non-canonical inventions, and therefore they are just as low in quality as they deny immersion to those who are acquainted with the titular universe. Second, it gives a perfect hindsight on what has happened during season two. And by that, I mean mixed feelings.
We begin with Yennefer yelling at Geralt on the ride. They are arriving to Kaer Morhen, the hidden fortress that became a casual meeting spot for adventuring dwarves, random mages and even more random harlots. It doesn't need further explanation that the distance between Kaer Morhen and Cintra is... big. In any decent fantasy universe, we have eagles. Or dragons. Something! We have magic here, but the only thing we know is that the pair is incapable of opening portals.
For this show, time and space don't exist anymore. Pun intended.
The next thing we see is a demon-possessed Ciri, who has visions in her mind and a dagger in her hand. She starts to slit throats of sleeping witchers, who, by now are obviously a degenerate bunch of brutes with alcohol problems and antisocial behaviour. There is no other logical explanation why they could be sneaked upon and slaughtered in this fashion. Note that Geralt deems this castle ruin as "safe" for Ciri. Apparently, the witchers can't even look after themselves.
The next thing Geralt does is the obvious. He is a golem by now, programmed to do two things. Rule number one: Save Ciri, hug Yennefer. Rule number two: the names can be changed, if it does not conflict with rule number one. Rule number three: save yourself from extradimensional monsters. If it does not conflict with either rule number one or rule number two.
So first, he tries to save Ciri without the means. Basically his plan is to talk the demon out of Ciri - with kind words. He keeps Yennefer by his side, so he could hug her. He also has his sword, in case of something went wrong.
Things go wrong. The demon decides to fully shatter the otherwise dead medallion-tree through Ciri's screaming ability. However, the work Ciri started on the tree and the monolith hidden inside (?!) it in episode 5, will now be complete. The monolith shatters, a portal to another dimension opens. What will happen now? The demon starts to slay witchers, who die like flies in the background. It's good we don't even know their names.
In the meantime, Geralt suffers a brain block. He can't digest the only reasonable solution (ie to kill Ciri). Yennefer comes to his aid. She gives a gem to Jaskier, that doesn't do anything. And she brews a potion that she will not use. However, when she sees Geralt's mental breakdown, she decides to absorb the demon herself, so Geralt could save Ciri (rule number one), and then, in order to hug her, he has to free her from the demon. So they go to the other dimension, where the demon departs. She only wanted to go home to another dimension.
Questions like "Why didn't she do that while in control of Ciri?" and "Why did she travel to Kaer Morhen in the first place?" or "If she wanted to go home but before that kill those who imprisoned her, then why did she leave Geralt alive?" are all pointless. The logic behind this show has slipped away so seamlessly as two scarves of the finest silk slide on each other.
Of course, after five minutes, no one feels to reflect on the recent events. Most of the irreplaceable witchers have died. No question whatsoever is asked, no deep feelings are expressed, just sad faces and a short remark that we are not a happy family.
By the end of the show, the viewers became the witchers. It's better if we don't ask questions, don't search for logic. We are injured, sad and somewhat stoic of what lies ahead. Expect our ranks to be depleted as well.
PS: Dear screenwriters, who think you can do better than actual writers, and who think you can deviate from an excellent source material and invent your own stories under the umbrella of an epic brand, I'd like to quote your own words and beg you to decide which type you really want to be.
"If you were to return, you'd need to plead your case. Apologize as well. For believing you could have any impact there at all. There are those who are obsessed with finding power and those who know their place."