nxgn_not_not Reviews

Monsters (2010)

a wish

[2/10 · 13 July 2021]

So wuz like, Wait - What?

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So like main like Trope in like Gobbley-Wood, put the ending at the beginning. & like the character introductions & interest at the end. The middle bit they just stand there with gaping carp mouth & like no concern for their personal safety or like the planet or like any any anything. This like so exemplifies that! So I'm like thinking, the whole time, like this so so so needs a remake (only we'll get it rite this time) or a part 2! With like Sally Field & like James Franco, & Jimmys got a camera which he abuses horrifically & endlessly on common stuff. Stuff that you can shoot anywhere, any time, ever. But as soon as anything unusual comes along, he just stands there - gaping. & Sally, so trusting - just give anybody yer passport - just get in the truck with all them mens. Basically get into or out of any boat or rubber wheeled vehicle that you come across. But the one scene - the key - Jimmy & Sally happen upon this woman in the middle of it all - & all these kids (with masks that have only one filter cartridge which they later use like it is going to do anything) & they axe the youngest if it feels safe. & it says "don't go out at night." & they laugh. & they like look nervously at each other. & they gape at the infant. & then the 3 y o says, "I wonder why they only come out at night?" & like, more importantly why peeps without food or water or weapons would have massive a** flashlights! & flash for the camera that can fill in for like a half mile around but have no color lenses for the flash. Gawd

I wish I could have liked it.

Dark (2017–2020)

tuff 2 git thru

[2/10 · 28 September 2020]

Even if you r familiar with sum German & sum English. That being sagt - luved almost all the actors & like performance(s). 4 shur sheeple - just do it O, & the "goofa" no known New-clear power plant dux nine habben river or sea ... aber ... what if. What if the main reason to build such a plant was not to create weapons grade plutonium 4 the Bomb - but rather 2 create cheap energy with no pollution? What then? Maybe one wood reconsider Thorium? Maybe one vood reconsider graphite? Maybe there are ways around the cooling issue? Maybe one could consider "harvesting" the radiation using a panel like solar radiation? There by avoiding the hot water horrors. Who can know! They have



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time travel 4 gawds sake maybe - just maybe - sum bodhi sum where was not stoopid & like did Nu-Cle-ation rite. gawd

wuz whey phun though

Cosmos (I) (2019)

so so so a com-med-dee

[2/10 · 4 September 2020]

4 real though.



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so in the penu-ultim-mate scene there like driving 45 min @ a hunnert klicks a min on a won lane road & there is like so so so no time left & like they get 2 where they're going & then they stop on the wong side of the parking lot so the main star can run across the lot & then run BaC was just dyin' Literally this piece is jus' loaded with these gags (or vignettes)

& yer like wait, What? but then it's like O, that's the point! the little gaga r the movie

London Fields (2018)

directors cut +

[6/10 · 21 October 2019]

Buchen Ja! Producer Nien. If U r going 2 c it. Especially after reading the book ... c the director's cut. Better yet read the book & then c the director's cut. So so so gives me hope (that the dream of) more things that were thought un-film-able will eventually be embraced across various forms of media.

Have Fun

Life of the Party (I) (2018)

Funnish

[2/10 · 14 November 2018]

So Holly's-wood luvs a spring winter romance. On both sides. So this is late spring & early fall compared to sum - the list is too long to look at - the majority of which involve a teen becoming involved with a sixty plusssss. But they play with it - so it's Ok. Rite? Maybe the real question is: Is this way whey more prevalent society than we anticipate? Should sex tourism & sex workers be demonized? Heavy issues 4 a lite farce! The room mate was a gem, but is there any body else in this that is reaching for that dream? That envelope of what is possible on the big screen. Comedy is hard. Getting spontaneous Laughter is a lot of work. So So this/K? Jus' Gaahhaa -K?

Overlord (2018)

So Real

[2/10 · 12 November 2018]

Look. There's a lot of ink being spilt about No Black Para-troopers. & segregation. & how the 101st was lily white. K? So I'm like, Wait ... I seen it rite there on the big screen. French Women with tasteful makeup. Nazi Zombies. Evil scientists. Totally real. I seen it. You wanna have your opinions about the moon landing - or Sasquatch - or Aliens walking amungus - fine. K? Whatever, K? [I'm kinda down with that last one.] Andy Whoo - what can I say, this movie has got it all. WWII Nazi. Evil Castle. Flame throwers. Zombies! Everything that makes for greatness on celluloid. Can't give it 3 thumbs 'cause there were a few bumps that took me out of the movie & left me sitting in the dark. Most importantly the Nazi Zombies are supposed to be at the bottom of a lake! Every body knows that. You know that, I know that, & the American people know that. Massive opportunity for a Part II. Or, Wait, Radioactive Nazi Zombies at the bottom of a lake. Lurking in the aqua filter the French juice came out of. It's a natural.

A Quiet Place (2018)

effects Yes

[2/10 · 9 April 2018]

If you can just look & not think, then this is the movie 4 U. Visually, oui! Those of us plagued by though & character arch, & where is this going, & human behavior ; Non. K? jus' non. The Monster, Ja. The Monster all day. (spoilers) thems jus' wanna little peace n tranquility. Had a bruder lot like that. Or is it Brotchen? Andy-whoo, whee can all relate to the Beast, so that's huge. For sure. (spoilers) But then we come to this little thing calt "plot." Is there any one any where that didn't see that coming? What is the first thing the humans think about when the touch some thing: "How can I turn this into a weapon to subjugate the masses?" So there's the daddy with Thor's hammer cudgeling the viewing public on every white board & every newspaper. & no bodhi on the eastern seaboard came up with that? Yer killin' me. O, & doors? Hello? Winter? Sound deadening? Gawd! Alls I could think from 10 min in was Unterirdischen Haus. Dig a hole put a couple of good thick doors on it. Mary Mary Mary.

On the plus side the remake / Part II will be sweet. Yer governmentals lab what grew & released this is onna large swath of peeps what disagree gonna be a site! So so stoked 4 that. This, not so mush.

The Bay (II) (2012)

dreamy with spoilers

[3/10 · 9 April 2018]

So, I'm like, this is so so real. (spoilers) Except 4 they missed the boat on the part about Siphonostomatoida infesting "farmed" fish. So so so needs a remake ... (spoilers) With, like farmed fish & farmed chickens being in like co-hoots. O, & yer Blooger kanna keep her tongue in her moufs. K? I'm beggin' ya. Way more peeps getting half eatin' & beggin' 4 death too! Things that worked: Jumping in the drink. Researchers bickering. Peeps getting half eaten. The Government in the states sitting on they hands. What I had some issues with: The Mayor. The moaning Howling screaming in the distance could have been great. No lawless looters vigilante kill 'em all types coming out to kick up they heels.

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Ending Happy (2007) Season 7, Episode 21

bad day for a boxer

[8/10 · 27 April 2007]

This was probably one of the best in a long time. I like the miniature killer, but this was way more fun ... if one can say death can be fun. The Devil from Constantine makes a great Pimp. Don't know who the old Poet or the main Pleasure provider were but they did great. The voice over in the snake scene was very well done. I was touched personally by just a few moments of screen time, Wish I could remember who the actress was. Had a hard time with the "madam," she did well with what she had, winking & all that, but I just didn't know quite what to make of her. When I see it again I am sure I will get a lot more out of her work, but the first time through it was tough. She was in probably the best scene in the movie, when they were sampling her DNA, the thing with the cigarette, Magnificent.

Over all I gotta say the boxer had a bad day.

Grindhouse (2007)

Half is fun

[4/10 · 12 April 2007]

I liked the Rodriguez portion. It was a fun romp. If I could rate it separately I'd give it a 6. Zombies, guns, people you actually care about, plot. Quentin on the other hand had a major bump in the road. I've seen my share of trash, Russ Meyer, Uwe Boll, Ed wood, but this. This was as close to walking out of the theater as I've been in twenty years. Stay away. As for the IMDb system … as of 4-11-7 this is rated an 8.6. Hello? I gotta say IMDb should take a long look at everybody who voted and see if they have more than 3 votes over the last year to their credit. I can't in good conscious give the Quinton portion a 2. If I could vote separately this would be my first one star movie. Dull, awkward, slow, ugly, dreck. Rosario needs to get a new agent & think about where she wants to be in 5 years. First "Clerks two" and now this? There is taking risks, and then there is stoopid. "Monsters Ball" was taking a risk, but the potential was there to make an incredible movie. Halle tried to step up, & should be given major slack for it. This has got me wondering what Rosario has done. If it wasn't for "Sin City" & "The Rundown" I'd totally write her off after this. Over all I'm going to give it a 4 but that is in the hope that audiences everywhere will walk as soon as the second half starts.

The Rocketeer (1991)

waste

[6/10 · 1 January 2007]

How can something with so much going for it be so totally devoid of fun? That's what keeps me up at night.

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Nazi's - Hollywood – Flying Machines – sets to die for - Timmy & Jenny have done such outstanding werk else where. & Disney has built up the reputation of making things fun. How could it all fall so flat? I'm going to have to go with the little jarring things that take you right out of the fantasy. The Mafia guy – the little girl in the restaurant scene – the way the blimp explodes – the metal of the Backpack – distance traveled by flying objects V. cars in about the same amount of time … Painful to watch. Then again maybe I need a nap.

Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)

super fem

[3/10 · 13 September 2004]

Fun with evil corporations. Kick ass females, Mind control, tons of skin. It's all there, everything I like. And yet … I am left wanting. Maybe it's Leloo, maybe it's me, but I never got the connection with the movie that drew me in deep. Fun and action, yes. Monsters and super beings, sure. Truly evil corporations and doctors, I can buy all that. But at some point I hope to be so drawn into the experience of the movie that I forget my self in the theater and live in the world where all these things are possible. Maybe I have too high of expectations, but I don't think so.

Things I liked: women and guns - impossible speed - the coming apocalypse done right - bad doggies - CGI tongues - Alice is back in the lab 4 upgrades and is way more powerful.

Things I had difficulty with: The dead in their graves awaken, if the premise is a virus, how does it get to them - dad gets shot and then becomes a zombie and goes after the evil corporate guy, where was the infection - the Nemisis beast was not that scary or much of a power to fear.

All That Jazz (1979)

I'm a sucker 4 musicals

[8/10 · 13 September 2004]

Generous with his c*ck, massively talented, chemical abusing, work-a-holic … Truly a New Yorker's New Yorker. When I think of Broadway, I think of BFosse. I'm sure other people were more influential, but this movie really lets us into his life and his scene. Very moving.

Things I liked: dancers bodies in motion - Mornings of recovery and preparation - Insecurity @ the highest level - The process of slow change and creativity - filming the surgery.

Things I had difficulty with: The ex-wife has all the power over him and the producers and directors none - he admits He said love but never felt love - His personal vision of death in white got old after a while.

Bite the Bullet (1975)

guns and sand

[7/10 · 13 September 2004]

Coburn is good, but Hackman is really one of the best. It's movies like this that really let you know what people can do. Well done from beginning to end. Makes me want to see more of the world from horse back.

Things I liked: Life was hard and they let you know it - Hookers and chemicals were everywhere - every one of the major characters was given screen time to develop into real people - beautiful animals.

Things I had difficulty with: Your horse dies in the desert, you should die in the desert, at least make the young buck walk out - the jail break scene was forced - does the Mexican live or die

Hero (2002)

Done 2 death

[5/10 · 30 August 2004]

Fabu Visuals. Lumbering pace … as befits a massive tale. Loved the dreams and stories and sand all getting `confudded' with each other.

Things I liked: Use of color - Broken Sword - Are they living or are they dead - wind and leaves and petals and water fight scenes rilly raise the bar - Pain and loneliness of a ruler - ten paces scene.

Things I had difficulty with: If the big guy is that good with a sword why does he keep so many bad warriors around - Where exactly are these people getting their training - If the big guy is all that paranoid nobody with an arrow or dart weapon would have been allowed anywhere near him, personal guard or not - not enough is made of the purity and speed of these 4 floating individuals.

The Pillow Book (1995)

Full Noodle Frontity

[8/10 · 30 August 2004]

Confused, powerful, sensual, Glorious, Painful, and rewarding. So much is there that one needs several goes to touch even the skin. So many themes are wrapped into an already full trunk that beauty and majesty simply spill out on the street.

Some things I liked: Skin, Skin, and more skin - A taste of the orient - Write your own Pillow book - The Maid - Fire - framing, flowing, interconnection so much.

Some things I had difficulty with: Suicide as an alternative - The origin of our maidens wealth - Why Chapter 13, indeed all these men, are so willing to do what is necessary.

Taking Lives (2004)

Pap with a Pop

[3/10 · 25 August 2004]

I love this kind of movie, and I luv A. Jolie. But this did not come together somehow. Probably the plot, most likely the lack of chemistry with E. Hawke. He's got a h*ll of a role, but he doesn't get it there.

Things I liked: The interrogation room where she drops the Garrot and he calls her on it - He shows up and they get crazy @ her place - sawing away in the elevator - Mom is major major creepy - somehow they get the feel of Canada on film - rocking back and forth on the side of the road to get in the groove of what the perp thinking - smacking around the preggers lets us all know how whacko he is.

Things I had trouble with: You just know it had to be Ethan Hawke all along - Scissors in the belly, why would he do that if he was lured in by the thought of twins - Kiefer is dead but can still hold up a gun like that … and how could Ethan haul around a body that fast - if the cops are guarding the art dealer, why do they think the killer would still want to trade places with him, like they are not going to know.

The Bourne Supremacy (2004)

give it a go

[6/10 · 27 July 2004]

Well put together, well paced - deep without being numbing / jarring. Well worth a look. Yet, there is something missing that separates this from movies like The Jackal, or Dr No. It just might be the substitution of Stylistic jerky camera for raw grittiness of action. Not that I mind the bounce, I liked The Blair Witch Bounce. Some people say it detracts & makes them nauseous. I say if done right it can add a lot. In this instance something more was needed to give the feeling that something was really happening B4 our eyes.

Things I liked: The limp didn't just go away in the next scene - The `all growed up' Russian daughter doesn't have to say a lot, very minimal, very good - rolled up magazine & eventuality of death - True love floating away under water.

Things I had difficulty with: Not enough is made of the blood - rather mild Russian club scene - Treadstone millionaire didn't even try to run.

Old School (2003)

What, did I miss something?

[3/10 · 27 July 2004]

Personally I don't see what all the fuss is about. It was good, I laughed. Ten minutes later I was on to something else. I do not expect every movie to be life changing, but with this cast and this budget, I would expect way way move. Years later there still are scenes from Zoolander that are just phenomenal. I don't think there is one thing here that will stay with me.

Things I liked: Blue - Lawyer scenes - Juliette may have found her niche - The Tank - The volleyball girl.

Things I had difficulty with: The Dean - The student body president - The supposed love interest just fell flat - Vince needed just a little something to put him over the top.

I, Robot (2004)

No no, Sonny. No no.

[6/10 · 20 July 2004]

Playing around with ethics is always a tough sell. It seemed a little heavy handed, but that could be me. The thing that really got me *+*+*+ `spoilers ahead'+*+*+* is the big box in the sky taking control of so many [fingers if you will] and then they zap it and all the individuals are instantly just fine. Seems to me the analogy of updating software would make each independently evil and there would be no instant fix. Once they think they know better, there is no going back. Short of erasure. But that would be a different movie. Even if the pie in the sky could take control the individuals they ultimately would be deeply effected … sort of a robo-post-traumatic-stress-syndrome.

Things I liked: Becoming a slave to our possessions / creations theme - Buff Will, really cut - Street scenes - Robot special effects.

Things I had difficulty with: Product placement - When the gang of robots attacked his car he got out of it way too easy - The computer did not notice that sonny had not died - Robot power source.

Spider-Man 2 (2004)

`You have to get on the train b4 you can get off '

[4/10 · 8 July 2004]

If you ever needed proof that special effects can make a bad movie good … here it is. As with the first one, the CGI Spiderman makes the actor look good. I can definitely recommend it, if you like this kind of movie to start with.

Some things I liked: Mary Jane's life - Super Hero's in elevators - swooping - Doc Ock was great - J.K. Simmons has got timing to burn - Nerds in Gotham never get a break - Kirsten Dunst in chains.

Some things I had difficulty with: 4 arms each with a AI brain and they throw things one @ a time - trying to stop a train by putting his leg down - shrugging his way out of barbed wire wrap - How you gonna tie somebody up with that big of a chain.

The Recruit (2003)

Ferrell eyes

[3/10 · 4 July 2004]

Several gaping plot holes and errors in `spy-craft' do not destroy this romp. Colin could give Brad Pitt a run for his money, not that they all don't earn way way way too much already. That being said, we need more actors of his caliber.

Things I liked: Colin Ferrell is a natural brooder - Pacino does it all - the farm was fun

Things I had trouble with: Could she be more obvious with the coffee - Electro-shock in the test - Take my pulse and know the truth after I've been in a car wreck - People that are around guns can feel the difference between live rounds and blanks (some can even feel the difference in weight when you hand them the gun)

Lost Highway (1997)

"He's really way out there, isn't he."

[8/10 · 1 July 2004]

Starts slow, gets better, if you are into that kind of thing. As with so much of David Lynches work one is often left with a feeling of, `what was that?' Case in point is Berretta Satan or an Alien Shape changer or just a figment of everybody's imagination? And the movie within a movie, how could they make something so beautiful look so plain? And room 26, what was that? Time travel? Video making the unreal real? What? That being said, Alls I can say rilly is WoW! Never have I wanted a DVD more. The VHS tape I was lucky enough to get a hold of was cheesey and worn. If your mind is not yet frozen by years of TeeVee get this movie.

O yeah.

Things I liked: Skin - Barretta - The most uptight driver ever put on film - Shape shifting - Belief systems about awareness - reality of the late 20th century car lifestyle.

Things I had difficulty with: Platform shoes - Pullman making everyone else look so good - The cops @ the final murder scene yanked me right out of the experience.

Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation (2004 Video)

Zombie abortion

[4/10 · 26 June 2004]

That I gave this movie any stars @ all is a testimonial to my love of the genre. That being said the special effects were pretty good. The problem was the plot and the acting. The first movie was cheesy in a good way. This one drowns in a sea of cheese. And not good cheese either, probably cheese food or, cheese type product.

Some things I liked: Spider effects - undead effects - Microwave spider action - tons of action.

Some things I had difficulty with: The one guy is a trained solider and he's got midget bugs all over him and he's got his hands on the glass while they crawl in him mouth - Sarge' had got some kind of larvae inside her but she is still able to do what she likes when all the others are or seem to be under total control of the spiders - Richard hatch look a like doesn't get back inside the castle as soon as he can - They open the castle door and only one spider comes in - I could go on and on.

Bad Santa (2003)

Billy bob performs 4 our amusement

[4/10 · 26 June 2004]

Yeah it has got some laughs. Yeah it tries real hard to pull @ our heart strings. It has some incredible child actors, and I hate the vast majority of child actors. Maybe I'm being too rough on it, but I just can't give it a hearty recommendation. I guess I was just in the wrong mood when I saw it. It came real close to being an all time classic too.

Some things I liked: John Ritter talking to Bernie Mac - Santa likes big bottoms - Brett Kelly is very expressive - Lauren Graham has a thing about Santa suits - Cloris Leachman maybe alive but she maybe dead.

Some things I had difficulty with: How could any of the people around Santa identify or feel anything for him - Lauren Graham comes back for more - Santa goes through way too much money way too fast and nobody notices.