burgerman93 Reviews

Mother of the Bride (2024)

Another crappy "will they won't they?" resort movie

[4/10 · 14 May 2024]

I highly recommend that people watch Forgetting Sarah Marshall instead of this. That's a movie with unforgettable heart and drama.

Netflix often has these influencer-type romantic comedy movies where people travel to exotic destinations and pointless conflict ensues. There were a few laughs to be sure, but most of them came from cringeworthy slapstick moments. It's great to see Brooke Shields again, but she looked so worn out and out of her depth here.

What was truly hilarious is how Miranda Cosgrove (Emma) and Sean Teale (RJ) had no chemistry together. And in a movie about their Thailand wedding, we don't really get to see their relationship. The movie focuses on how Emma's widowed mother Lana (played by Brooke Shields) and RJ's divorced father Will (played by Benjamin Bratt) awkwardly see each other again after 30-some odd years. They dated in college and had a falling out, which adds some manufactured tension to this plot. I didn't sense any chemistry between them either, but Bratt's performance was noteworthy.

A bunch of side characters are shoved onto the screen, some of them add to the humor and others are just stick figures. Tasneem Roc as Camala was awkwardly pretentious. Chad Michael Murray, who played the dimwitted doctor Lucas was a deer in the headlights. If it's any consolation, I did like Rachael Harris as Janice- she easily could have played the main character and given this movie some pep.

So with its beach scenes and overdone music and dancing sequences, I didn't see anything that captured my attention. It was a cliche story full of misunderstandings and resentment between characters, and repetitive jokes that did not make a landing.

A Teacher (2020)

There was not a clear story here

[6/10 · 13 May 2024]

I did like the first six episodes, and how both Eric and Claire were at a crossroads in their life paths. However the constant time jumps and partying scenes got too tedious.

There is some debate as to whether the teacher committed a criminal act. Eric was shy of 18 when he started the encounters with Claire. According to Texas law, 17 is the age of consent (and a 17 year old can engage in sexual activity with anyone age 17 and older without repercussions). And based on the lewd text messages that Eric was sending Claire and his insistence that the two run away together for his 18th birthday, this seemed fully consensual.

Eric also did not indicate to the police that he engaged in sexual contact under duress. Claire committed an ethical violation as opposed to a legal violation. So while she'd be fired and barred from teaching, arresting her under these circumstances likely wouldn't happen in reality.

What is evident is that Claire abused her position of power, by driving a student to visit a college, holding the tutoring sessions off school property, and driving to Eric's house. She also didn't report Eric after the initial kiss, which took place on school property.

As for whether a person in Eric's position needed intensive psychological counseling, who knows. There was not really a wrap up to the series of events - we just saw Claire and Eric as confused in trying to reconcile what happened.

Cobweb (2023)

This was a spooky Halloween movie, yet predictable

[6/10 · 12 May 2024]

The creeking, knocking, and shadows worked- I thought this was a pretty scary experience. What was more creepy were the two parents, masterfully played by Antony Starr and Lizzie Caplan. I also think the teacher, Miss Devine, was a worthy character.

Had this movie contained a plot twist, it would have added some excitement. They foreshadowed that the entity inside the walls would be a spider-like creature (when the kid and his teacher found the spider in the classroom). So we aren't really caught off guard when the reveal is made.

Having the bully's family wreak havoc on the main character's home also was out of place. It just seemed like an excuse to massacre more bodies.

Still, with its grotesque and unsettling scenes, this movie lived up to its potential as a horror show.

Meet Cute (I) (2022)

I have a soft spot for this film

[8/10 · 12 May 2024]

I found this to be a sweet and humble picture, with some laughs and brilliant settings of Manhattan's night life.

When you see Pete Davidson on SNL, at a comedy show, or at a celebrity roast he's usually quite blunt and relentless. But in this movie, he takes a step back and really shows that he's capable of headlining a dramatic love story. Kaley Cuoco is eight years than Davidson, but the two are so compatible on the big screen. Cuoco is absolutely gracious and dazzling, this is one of her best roles.

There are a few dry spots in the dialogue, but I enjoyed the film's paradoxical moments and serious tone. It was a dark movie that provides a road map on how to approach a relationship.

Baby Reindeer (2024)

This is about more than stalking

[7/10 · 11 May 2024]

This series is very relevant in showing us Richard Gadd's journey of self acceptance. We see a man named Donny (who is based on Gadd) in his 20s who struggles with a sense of identity: he has no self esteem, he is not great at his stand up comedy routine, and he fumbles around in a manner to discover his sexuality. There are two older people - Darrien and Martha - who both manipulate Donny, yet in some sense are the key to his success as a comedian.

It's an incredibly sad show, but I enjoyed the performances, especially from Nava Mau. She's one of the strongest supporting actresses I've seen and her character Teri is assertive and the beacon of common sense. She provides a great contrast to the naive and hesitant Donny.

The first five episodes are great as we see how Donny is groomed and harassed, and how he tries to minimize the traumatic impact. Donny also becomes an abuser to some extent, which places a tremendous amount of pressure on his relationships and with his parents.

The show doesn't end on a strong note, but as a whole I have to recommend it. It's almost like a British version of the show "Beef", which was also produced by Netflix.

Four Good Days (2020)

This was a complicated and cyclical tale

[6/10 · 10 May 2024]

I can't fully endorse this film. It had some heart warming and realistic moments, but the dialogue was all over the place. Often times you'd have two characters loudly arguing out of no where, and then the next scene everyone was lovey dovey again.

I did enjoy Mila Kunis and Glenn Close's performances. I had extreme sympathy for daughter Molly as she relapsed from her heroin addiction and tried to turn her life around. I also felt for mother Deb as she mistrusted Molly and was reluctant to allow her to stay in the family home.

Including sensible character dynamics would have helped this movie. Stephen Root was fine as Chris, yet he barely had any interactions with Molly and his scenes with wife Deb were daft. I would have also liked to see more of Molly and her ex husband and kids, the scenes with all four of them were sweet yet short lived. Having Deb's other daughter and ex husband in the picture was impractical for telling this story.

I can appreciate that this film was based on true events, but the melodrama and family tensions made it a tough viewing experience overall.

Abigail (2024)

The screenplay broke the movie

[4/10 · 9 May 2024]

I thought the first hour was entertaining, musically enhanced, and even had some delightful humor. The array of characters and how they flirted and interacted with one another made for some quality moments. But most importantly the cinematography was crisp and memorable.

Now for the criticism: the bloody moments and f bombs were to excess. I'm all for a slasher movie, but this film was in a league of its own. Seeing bodies explode eventually lost all appeal. The story went from a kidnapping gone wrong to a murder mystery to a survival thriller, but all the violence and gore took my attention away. You'd also see abrupt scene changes which completely changed the film's orbit.

Giancarlo Esposito didn't have an interesting role to play. He was part of the reason I wanted to give this movie a try. For any fans of vampire flicks, it could be up your alley. In my mind, this was something to watch in order to pass the time.

Angel Baby (2023)

I was utterly confused

[2/10 · 6 May 2024]

The acting is pretty top notch and there are a couple of jump scares. However the story makes zero sense, there's a lot of red herrings along the way, and as the viewer we are left in the dark when the credits rolled.

It's pretty obvious that Chloe and Justin are siblings, as evidenced by the fact that the young girl had blonde hair and that as an adult Chloe was close to Justin without being overtly sexual. But all of that aside, I didn't understand why Justin and Chloe were hell bent on having Val live in their childhood house. Wouldn't the siblings want to escape their traumatic childhood memories?

Also the music box and the "Angel Baby" book that kept popping up were meaningless. And it's clear the house is haunted, but what is this ghost's (of the murdered father's) intention other than creeping up on people when they sleep? It seems like as the movie went on, the haunted story diminished and the movie pivoted into a slasher tale.

The whole business with the sheriff, bartender, and the Good Samaritan neighbor didn't add to the story. This movie wasn't worth the time, it seemed rushed.

Unfrosted (2024)

I didn't even crack a smile

[1/10 · 5 May 2024]

I wasn't concerned with the historical accuracy of this. I was more focused on the entertainment factor. Truth be told, this film felt like a series of cartoonish commercials. I gave up after 30 minutes, even though Kellogg's pop tarts and cereals are staple foods in my pantry.

They got so many A-list comedians for this project, and they all were so over the top and rambunctious. Jerry Seinfeld cannot act, he essentially reprised his sitcom character. But unlike the Seinfeld sitcom, there was no story or humor. So many vulgar jokes and schtick are thrown at the audience and none of it worked for me.

I expected this to flop. In fact, Richard Roeper of the Chicago Sun Times deemed this movie one of the worst of this decade.

The Idea of You (2024)

This is a basic background movie

[3/10 · 3 May 2024]

Anne Hathaway has been my favorite actress for years. I've been drawn to her since her role as Princess Mia in Princess Diaries. Usually Anne is known for serious and heroic roles, which accompany her naturally strong wit and beauty.

However in this movie, her character was dumbed down and paired with a lame brained pop singer of a boy band who mumbles all his lines. I have to also mention that the songs are so outrageously auto-tuned and the footage of their performances resembles a bar mitzvah montage.

I didn't feel anything for this 40 year old woman and 24 year old man's relationship. Most of their dialogue felt like it was a mother figure speaking with a misguided and immature young adult. Some cringeworthy stuff overall and didn't generate any laughs or smiles.

It's not a terrible movie, it has some steamy bedroom scenes that slightly propel the story forward. But this isn't a film that I would encourage people to watch.

Making Time (2020)

It's a hokey movie, but had enough spirit

[6/10 · 2 May 2024]

Making Time is an independent film shot in the span of two days. That's pretty obvious given the cheap special effects, strained line reading, and clumsy editing. It's really not a deep or intense story. I almost turned this off at the 10 minute mark, but trudged along as I appreciate a good sci experience.

I probably would not recommend this movie to hardcore time travel movie fanatics, but there were some elements of surprise and laughter during this. The performances were inconsistent and the dialogue is sloppy and over the top, but I'll admit that there's real heart and determination from this main character. I found myself cheering for Nick's dream to come true.

The Greatest Hits (2024)

The creative spark stopped after one hour

[5/10 · 28 April 2024]

I thought the movie would have had a bit more adventure, as time travel was the main plot device. Over time the script became dull and a lot of the music was a distractor as opposed to tying in with the story. The writers needed to smooth out the rough edges on the script and simplify the story a bit. For example, the therapist, Harriet's best friend, and David's sister were useless characters who had nothing to contribute. I did appreciate the chemistry between David and Harriet, and that both characters suffered an immeasurable amount of grief.

If you're a record collector or someone who is a sucker for romantic movies that tug at your heart strings, you might like this. From my perspective, the fun moments were infrequent and forced. Think of the movie as a Powerpoint presentation that moves so quickly, that you don't have time to take in the details.

I'll Follow You Down (2013)

An inconsequential mess

[2/10 · 20 April 2024]

Giving it one extra star because the first few minutes were sweet, when we saw the father and son relationship. It all went downhill from there. The 30 minutes I watched were filled with bland dialogue, melodramatic family moments, and poor casting choices. This was supposed to be a science fiction mystery movie, but quickly became a Hallmark Channel feature.

I think this would have been stronger if you showed the point-of-view of the father as he abandons his family and embarks on his mission to time travel.

HJ Osment was a benevolent and shining star in The Sixth Sense, and I haven't seen him deliver a good performance in any recent movie.

10x10 (2018)

Pay no mind to this horrific movie

[1/10 · 18 April 2024]

Imagine two cocky high school drama students putting on a play. Then also imagine that the script has no meaning and that every character decision is counterintuitive. That's the equation for this mess of a film. I simply didn't understand the storyline or direction on this- it turned into background noise after an hour.

I also have to ask - how is this woman locked in a room for days at a time and never uses the restroom or consumes even an ounce of liquid? She looks perfectly healthy and shows no signs of lethargy at all, which is totally bogus. In fact, Kathy had every chance to overpower this kidnapper and failed time and time again.

Every 21 Seconds (2018)

A victorious movie

[10/10 · 16 April 2024]

After seeing the 2-hour running time, I thought it would be another melodramatic or preachy human interest story. This really deserved a full theatrical treatment, it was that impactful.

I loved everything about it because we see the contrast between past and present. A hard working and devoted husband and father of two has his life torn away due to a demented guy punching him at a bar. We see how victim Brian Sweeney rehabilitates his mental and physical states to become the person he was prior to the attack. Brian's outbursts and forgetfulness cause a lot of emotion turmoil for his wife and kids.

A round of applause for everyone who worked on this film.

How to Date Billy Walsh (2024)

This just didn't come together

[4/10 · 14 April 2024]

If the Harry Potter franchise and a Nickelodeon pie-in-the-face bathroom joke-filled movie had a child, this would be it. The movie suffers because of unflattering sex jokes and constant breakage of the fourth wall. It may have been a satire, but the script was very disorderly.

I laughed only once, and ironically it was from a character who got seconds worth of screen time (the restaurant waiter). I did enjoy Charithra Chandran's performance, but she couldn't salvage the overall viewing experience.

It felt like every character was stuck in their own fairy tale universe. Plus the film tried the "influencer" type angle, complete with slow motion scenes and text message bubbles. The ending was mildly cute, but it was too little too late.

Suncoast (2024)

A generic story, but the movie teaches us a lesson

[7/10 · 13 April 2024]

I wasn't enthusiastic with the entire story, yet this still was a very good movie. Nico Parker is a gifted and beautiful young actress, and her scenes with Woody Harrelson were endearing.

The crux of this film involves Doris' mission to be independent and lead a normal life. This plan is sidelined as Doris is forced to spend overnights at the Suncoast hospice facility, where her cancer-stricken brother is on his deathbed. She has to decide whether to enjoy her teen years (i.e. Going to prom or clubbing with her preppy friend group) or spend time with her mother and brother. Seeing Doris assert her independence during this family tragedy was what made this movie worthwhile.

There were some fluff high school class/party scenes throughout the movie that didn't resonate with me. I also think having more focus on Paul's personal struggle was necessary. But I ultimately smiled right before the final credits rolled.

Night Shift (I) (2023)

It's imperfect, but I ended up enjoying it

[8/10 · 7 April 2024]

This filled its purpose as a slasher horror film and Phoebe Tonkin is quite electrifying on screen- I'm ready to watch more of her works. This film really blows a lot of the Blumhouse Production movies out of the water.

Certainly the film is a slow burn, off beat, and was filmed on a low budget, but the payoff is huge once the twist is revealed. The end scene also tied everything together.

I was prepared to nit-pick character decisions or some of the dark comedy scenes (for instance the oddball married couple who wanted a room for recreational activities), but I sat back and accepted the movie for what it was. It was an adventurous independent movie that could be enjoyed by casual and diehard horror fans alike.

Sometimes I Think About Dying (2023)

There wasn't any structure to this

[3/10 · 4 April 2024]

I can understand that it is a character study, but this has the feel of an indie film and most of it is filled with awkward pauses and feeble attempts at humor. The first 25 minutes were an elongated introduction, but even so I failed to recognize what the story was. I ended up turning this off at the one hour mark. As for the character who plays Robert, the love interest, he's not compelling enough to help bring a positive light to this film's murky atmosphere.

The music was actually pretty upbeat considering how depressing the main character's life is. Other than that there's not much to praise.

Ricky Stanicky (2024)

This was a golden buddy comedy

[9/10 · 31 March 2024]

Never in a million years did I think John Cena was a strong comic actor- he knocked it out of the park. It's a goofy, impractical, and raunchy story filled with slapstick, but I fell in love with this movie and was laughing consistently. Aside from the humor, it's a strong script with good performances and just enough heart.

The energy level of the main friend foursome is unmatched and seeing roast master Jeff Ross portray a stand-up comedian mohel was delightful. Certainly a lot of the punchlines were obvious, but there were still a plenty of surprises along this journey.

It's 20 minutes too long and the laughs fizzled out during that time period, but otherwise I have no major issues.

Sight: Extended (2023)

This was riveting

[8/10 · 18 March 2024]

In a Black Mirror-type format, we see a story about how people wear virtual reality contact lenses (think Apple Vision Pro but less bulky). The main character is gifted an app that helps him combat agoraphobia, clean up his apartment and physical image, and socialize with a high school crush. I was mesmerized for the first hour, but the excitement plateaued and I was slightly lost at the end.

How or why this technology was introduced is not clear, but I can say that this is the best science fiction movie I've seen in a decade. The main actor performs the anxious and diabolical elements of this character to a T.

Love on Repeat (2019 TV Movie)

Good thematically speaking, though an obvious plot

[4/10 · 18 March 2024]

This involves a Groundhog Day scenario that takes place inside an office. The characters aren't constructed very well and the bulk of the movie was campy and filled with sub optimal music. For some reason I ended up enjoying the last ten minutes, even though i knew precisely what would happen.

I liked seeing Andrew Lawrence, who perhaps is best known for voicing TJ on Disney's Recess. He was really the star of this movie, despite not having discernible chemistry with Jen Lilley's character.

It's a tired plot and doesn't deliver on laughs, but there was a sincere message in how someone should lead their life.

Buried (2010)

A harrowing thriller

[8/10 · 17 March 2024]

For years I've considered Ryan Reynolds overrated and superficial. My opinion of him has suddenly changed - he is captivating as truck driver Paul Conroy in this survival movie.

The movie isn't scientifically accurate, but all of that can be put aside because we are focused on Paul's difficulty in getting search and rescue. While this movie is serious and macabre, there are brilliant moments when Paul cracks some jokes and tells people off. I was invested in this story right until the final credits rolled.

Many of us have our own idea on how to survive this ordeal and we do see that Paul wasn't conserving oxygen optimally, but I didn't let that ruin the fun.

Bad Sister (2015 TV Movie)

Ned's Declassified Catholic School Survival Guide

[5/10 · 14 March 2024]

Probably could have been an anthological short story, but this served its purpose as entertainment. It ended up being a predictable and there weren't any surprises for the viewer. There needed to be more shocking thrills, but overall it was enjoyable.

I think the actors put a lot of chutzpah into this project and there were some casual scenes with romance and humor to keep the movie flowing seamlessly. Devon Werkheiser is highly talented as a musician and actor, and was able to work effortlessly off his cast mates here. Alyshia Ochse was great as a two-faced character: seductive yet deceitful.

The Wrong Teacher (2018 TV Movie)

A very ragged script

[4/10 · 14 March 2024]

I've mentioned in other reviews how movies with student/teacher intimate relationships are uninteresting and overdone. This one is no exception and the story is predictable, right down to the main character not alerting law enforcement when she finds out damning information about this student.

I really love how the doors to this school are wide opened at night time and that there's no security guard or cameras to catch any mischievous behavior. And this vice principal must be the biggest idiot to just let his suspicions about this teacher slide.

I don't mind a movie that can make me laugh, despite how poorly constructed the dialogue is. In that sense, bravo Lifetime.