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JerichoSquad
Reviews
Diary of the Dead (2007)
The Demise of Romero?
Did Romero actually direct this or was it one of his relatives 1st film? This was way sub par, far worse that Land of the Dead.
Every one of the characters tried to make out they hated being filmed during this by the (wierd/annoying cameraman who couldn't shut up for 5 minutes (wasn't he a film student, guess he's never heard of suspense = FAIL*) but they had no problems applying their hammy acting when said camera was on them, especially the English guy, loll at him.
Sadly/Gladly I didn't watch all they way through because this was like Cloverfield except with zombies (IMHO films like these/those 2 are trying to do what the Blair Witch done, but with budgets, and they just don't get it) the actors/actresses (ahem!), if you like cheese and wine nights, rent this and you only need the wine.
*the narrator said she added music to scare us, she should have muted the jabbering moron with the camera :(
I'd have to rate 5 for the Zombies, they were the best part of this and they kept getting shot loll, someone on the casting couch must've got things backwards ;)
Within (2005)
Started Okay, Ended Badly :o(
Like I said, at first it seemed like it could be okay, but as soon as they went into the cave it went horribly wrong, the size of the boulder used to cover the hole they went down could never be moved by a human/caveman, (plus why would he have that setup, just in case any explorers happened to stop by??), camera shakiness was overly overused, I was waiting for it to stop shaking just as they ran in to a scary monster (moneyshot like in Creep or The Descent), sadly, never happened, even by the end. I've seen far worse, but if you want to see a movie about Caves you'd be better off with The Descent, this film if you injected with 300ml's of Hollywood you would have The Cave, another one to avoid.
Ps. If the wing of the plane which i'm assuming was still attached to the plane (if not why no wreckage outside) was in the cave, why was the boy burned, don't planes blow up when your inside on impact, not when you fall out of them as your parents oddly manage to fly through thick rock (as the Religious guy said) leave a cavern and bury itself in dust???
Just My 2 Cents...
Creepshow 3 (2006)
I've Seen Some Stinkers, But This!!!!
It's hard to explain how bad this film was, in case some people think "Ohh! Another So Bad It Was Good!" film, if thats what you want look elsewhere the only good/redeeming qualities about this travesty is the ending credits, if you haven't already snapped the DVD (god forbid anyone buys it), buy a blank DVD, I guarantee watching that will make you laugh/cry/more scared etc. etc. etc. than this crud ever will.
Ps. Am I the only one who thinks the story about the Tramp choking on a hot dog was a bit too similar to the "Thanks For The Ride Lady!" story from Creepy 2? That said, that was story 4 or was it 5 (Hard to remember because every tale had the same actors), by that time whoever came up with this garbage was probably all out of ideas, after all they had just come up with the ground breaking starting cartoon (Sarcasm Alert).
In short this is an abomination, there is nothing good here, watch the other Creepies again, the stories/entertainment/lack of obvious rubbery masks are far superior to this film, 1* is being generous!!!
Lady in the Water (2006)
Depression In The Water!!!
This film is a mess, i'm sure in the directors head it makes sense, it's just unfortunate we are not all on (Hollywood) drugs, guess he must have stopped watching the X-Files before making this film ;o) Don't know if i'm the only one, but it was actually uncomfortable to watch, not in a scary way or an ooOOOOOH! way it was just creepy. All the people who gave this movie full marks, I bet any money (the money you were paid to lie about a film as bad as this)you probably haven't even watched it.
Redeeming Qualities - The End Credits!!!!
Ps. Why does everyone in this film seem suicidal, it's almost like they were watching the film while making it :oD!!!
PPS. I do like fantasy films and not completely negative but for what spectrum of movie watchers this film is aimed at is beyond me, maybe when i'm a catatonic old fart drooling into my porridge it'll make sense but i'm not yet that guy so at the moment this film is pants!!!