Change Your Image
tntbandit
Reviews
Family Vanished (2018)
Enjoyable
Look, it's a freakin Lifetime movie! And it was Good! A bad family mirrors a genuinely good one and they were able to get revenge. As a lover of Lifetime ridiculousness, this was definitely a good one to watch. Though I wouldn't have minded if Brian shot Mike in the knee, and would've loved to see the family be able to gloat a bit more, it was all around cute. Albeit the most unbelievable part was neighbor Peter going after them with ZERO protection, but it's a Lifetime film, no need to take it so serious, just enjoy! I did!
Jakob's Wife (2021)
This is where Barbara Crampton Belongs!
Up in the front. I've always had a feeling Barbara could be a leading lady, and there have been plenty films she's clearly the star of but this was it! She goes through the transitions of reserved minister wife to woman with an edge very smoothly. Pre-bite, she's clearly a shadow not just in Jakob's life but of her former self. She's just drifting through life, and its reflective in her clothing, very muted, very subtle. Once she has a chance to meet up with (dreamy) Tom, a former flame, she jazzes it up with some red lipstick but quickly backs out and switches to pink. You know what happens when u visit an abandoned warehouse and see giant coffins...yep, vampire. Anne turned is living her best life, the colors are bold, SHE is bold and feelin herself. Only a bad timed feeding stops the enjoyment. Larry as Jakob is refreshing too, since 90% of the time he plays a hillbilly, but his straight man to Barbara's lively 2nd act is appreciated. He could easily play Jakob as a jerk and sometimes he is but not completely, things have been that way for years and when they finally have an honest conversation they realize their mistakes. Bonnie as the Master is awesome, you can tell she goes all in when she plays a character, u want her bad? She's bad, u want a baddie vamp? Give her some fangs! The costumes, the set (their house would make Jesus say, isn't this a little much?), the FX (lots of blood), the acting is all aces. Yes its a B film but so what? Is it enjoyable? HELL YEAH and I'm excited for the sequel...should it happen. Would love another Crampton/Fessenden team up for a film. Sidenote: their version of Bloodletting (the vampire song) is dope!