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Thunder in Paradise: Dead Reckoning (1994)
Abrasive French Accent
It's Jessica's birthday. Some muscular men float around and talk about brotherhood endlessly. Tedium Magnum.
If they cut out all the boring parts you'd be left with 60 seconds of delectable bikini beach running and dancing. So I'm gonna recommend giving this one a pass.
Thunder in Paradise: Blast Off (1994)
Babysitting - Trashcan Hero
Senator catches a marlin. Hulk catches a torpedo launched by a Russian serpent monger.
Hurricane based. Broo not. Bog standard "thriller".
Mostly inane banter interspersed with a few really weird ROFL moments. 0 stars. Four superior quality jugs. 3 Stars.
Skip it. Sniff dogs in the park instead.
Thunder in Paradise: Deadly Lessons: Part 2 (1994)
Two thumbs up for Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa
Dope ass villain takes school hostage. He's way cooler than the dweeb in the fancy boat. Justa weebit evil :-D
Hogan's line delivery so wooden it creaks :-D
Don't try to hide margaritas in your pants. That never ends well.
Thrilling thriller. Action-packed and violent. They knew you wouldn't settle for less :-)
Thunder in Paradise: Deadly Lessons: Part 1 (1994)
Constance Towers Kicks Ass
Scintillating Dialogue - Recitazione in Legno. Big Blond Stashio Will Smack Down Cocaine Cartel. Buxom broads invade the beach. Boobiefest to die for. LaRew crushes little Catholic girl's career like a bug. Somehow it's all Bru's fault.
Santiago has the fakest beard ever, and Spencer's phone call is hilarious. It's a wild ride.
I doubt it's worth your time, but it is an experience.
Thunder in Paradise: Endangered Species (1994)
That Boy Has To Die - Is clumb a word?
Marine mammal rescue. Thunder will not be denied vengeance.
Spence has to fight a biker gang to get his wolf boy back :-D
Hard to believe they never won an Emmy :-D Eu sou Caranguejo de Areia? Ou eu sou Valéria São Jorge fingindo ser Caranguejo de Areia? This episode is trash. Don't watch it. Throw carrots at UPS guys instead.
Thunder in Paradise: Eye for an Eye (1994)
deja vu beaucoup
They invade Cuba again. And the daughter reverts to the one they had in the pilot. What is happening? I've seen these scenes before. Is she the specialized Cuba-invading girl-child? Talk about division of labor. Maybe stage mom Gorrell has political views preventing her offspring from supporting/opposing communism.
Thunder in Paradise: Queen of Hearts (1994)
Hot Steel
Monster Trucks! Bikini babes a la mode. Bumblebee outfit. Fine fine. Woody-inducing awesomeness. Mustache man kicks butt. Lemon not to sour. Groovy amoríos peligrosos. It's terrible when you remember a certain sailor who shouldn't'a been drunk. Giant killer dinosaur robot. Unsurpassable!!
Thunder in Paradise: Plunder in Paradise (1994)
Disengage Battle Cloak
Hostages Wear Bikinis. Pirates! Estampido bullisioso. Skinnydipping! Carol Alt is Exquisite. The Frenchman is a diabolical villain. Fois Gras! Sword fight! Trudging through the jungle. Spence psyches out Sasquatch!! Ep Ick Ep!!
Thunder in Paradise: Identity Crisis (1994)
super excited about graphite
Spence has to stop nefarious Hammerhead from obliterating Miami. But he can't 'cuz he doesn't have $100 million dollars and also he's in jail for threatening to obliterate Miami. Spence really reminds me of a wrestler I used to watch in the 80s. Trewlaunee is a thespian savant. Or is she a hairdresser from Detroit? Only lust will tell.
Thunder in Paradise: Distant Shout of Thunder (1994)
Junk Tug Boat
What's better than Scottish blokes tossin' the caber? Heidi Mark makin' popcorn.
Sinister invisible evil hacks into Broo's boat and controls his hard... drive. This is an exciting but not boner producing predicament. They dribble on bikini babes as they leap the pier. Pipe smoking lunatic George Jefferson talks to his tug boat. Does Spence have a tug job for him?
Innocent investors. Volatile. Jessica's wisdom flood shall prevail. Too much brilliance to describe here. Solid 10 Star Goodness.
Thunder in Paradise: Nature of the Beast (1994)
Orchid Hunter Jackpot
Starts out with a bowl haircut and a ukulele. Then it brings in a sci fi swamp demon and PTSD. All the makings of a truly abhorrent ep. :-D
Somehow it's surprisingly not terrible.
Minus two for Tres-looney still doing that dumb Jamaica thing.
Minus three for missing marvelous mouth-watering milk maidens.
Thunder in Paradise: Gettysburg Change of Address (1994)
new lows of lowliness, brother.
Sexy seadoo rides. Pathetic losers keep losing battles. Alt keeps loving losers. Some complicated army officer hates them. Three stooges recruited. 19th century fratricidal háború never ends. Sharp tone set by bold implementation of the Strasberg-dissenting Stiff Cardboard Method. To get over a bad breakup you must win at motorsport.
A couple o' funny moments. Mostly trite nonsense.
Thunder in Paradise: Changing of the Guard (1994)
Granny lives in a castle
And Thunder fights a helicopter. And aquatic tasers.
J. Peterman tries to steal Hogan's kid. I did not ogle Heidi. Would you look at the bazookas on that soldier? I categorically deny visually savoring Miss Mark's treasure chest. The shopping montage is dozy, dopey, yawny, and drab. Jessica digs the dungeon. Spence n Broo not so much. The rack there's not as nice as Heidi's.
Five under par is good in golf. Not in Thunder.
Thunder in Paradise: Sealed with a Kismet: Part 2 (1994)
commando raid
Carol Alt spends her time in the iron grip of Giant Gonzales. Broo and Spence netted by zaporaky. Electric cellular action. Jubilant wedding bells followed by tubular banquet. The boys are sorely tempted. But decide not to go halfsies.
Thunder in Paradise: Sealed with a Kismet: Part 1 (1994)
destruction inevitable
It's a shimmering showcase of thespian brilliance.
The ol' Brewster knows best. Troolanee's magic vine crowns toss them into a sinbad-esque parallel universe (maybe?)(every time I try to make sense of it my head explodes and I have to start again.)
So it's a wild camel ride. Babes, giants, bikinis, artillery, boobies, mangoes, epic high-tech sea battles, flowing jet black manes of sexy princes, who sweep. Not like floors tho'. Like, off your feet.
Hey Yo Sheikh Dude!
There's no way Chekov could write a script like this.
Thunder in Paradise: Strange Bru (1994)
human shish-kebab
Femme fatale's hold on Spence is strong as ever. She sends him on a dangerous mission. Broo takes a spear through the arm. The underwater fight is vicious. Zombie powder raises the steaks. All tremble 'cuz they're sure big blonde stashio is gonna get black widowed. It's really funny. There's too much scrumptious wackiness to describe. Watch this episode.
Thunder in Paradise: Sea Quentin (1994)
volleyball challenge and local color
You read the plot summary. It's all that and so much more. Heidi Mark rocks my world. The Hulk's at the top of his game. So glad he doesn't do any of that lame intonation stuff most actors do.
Thunder in Paradise: Tug of War (1994)
epic grunting, brother
Must defeat the evil Hammerhead. Totally drops the ball as a father. Will they talk sense into Spence? Will Jessica move to England? It's got fights, boat chases, and more swimwear than you can shake your stick at.
Thunder in Paradise: Thunder in Paradise: Part Two (1994)
My those are lovely bazookas
It's funny, noot only because Spence forgot about the prenup, and he's assaulted by Lisa Stahl with a southern accent. The Limey chick is stiff. Sandra Thigpen is very sexy. There's treasure island, cave diving, Giant Gonzales, and a naval battle. It's got it all.
Thunder in Paradise: Thunder in Paradise: Part One (1994)
from the makers of Baywatch
Beaches. Buxom bikini babes. Hulk Hogan invades Cuba. He somehow acquires an 8 year old daughter. It's a bit dismaying. Carol Alt is GORGEOUS. They pull treasure outta the belly of a murdered shark. There's a guy named Broo. Acrimony with the ex. Too much drama. Can they sell the boat? I gotta go watch part two Right Now.