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Reviews
Más negro que la noche (1975)
She's dead! Anyway...
A small group of shallow women easily brush off each other's deaths after moving into an old house. The free house comes with a cat, and somehow that's a big problem.
The plot moves like molasses and doesn't establish any stakes until an hour in. The acting is fine, but the characters are two-dimensional.
Scares are non-existent and deaths all happen off screen.
It's really hard to care about the women being eliminated when THEY hardly care. Each death is treated with the significance of roommate moving out.
Much like Disney's Aristocats, the story starts with a wealthy old woman adoring her only loved one, a pet cat. Unlike the Disney movie, the two are separated by the death of the old woman. The house and cat are inherited by a distant family member who moves in with two friends and a woman she just met. The characters mostly focus on money and clothes and treat the housekeeper poorly. They are strangely antagonistic about caring for the cat and it eventually dies.
Soon the women start dying, but they don't seem too bothered. Eventually the truth comes out, a d the plot resolves with a final death.
Left Behind: Rise of the Antichrist (2023)
Sorbo's belated love letter to Tucker Carlson
Astonishingly dated for its release year, this is largely a vehicle to express Sorbo's venom for public health officials fighting a deadly pandem-er, a spate of mysterious disappearances.
The actor/ director/ reluctant-vaccine-recipient puts his rejection of evidence, expertise, and decency on display by employing the bizarrely confused, Buck(er) Williams. Buck is "only asking questions" when he isn't launching into endless, half-baked monologues about the "pandemic of fear," shadowy corporations changing votes-er...data, news networks spreading state propaganda, or the United Nations controlling the world.
The movie creates a contradiction by repeatedly comparing the biblical rapture with the Covid-19 pandemic, while also pandering to people who deny that covid ever killed anyone. It also targets those who'd profit from the rapture-demic, despite being the THIRD film attempt at the Christian novel series.
Kevin Sorbo doesn't attempt to fill the shoes Nicholas Cage threw out after the 2014 film, instead replacing him with...himself and a teleprompter? His replacement cast (which includes his wife and son) somehow fails to reach even his poor performance level.
All that said, I'm sure the Christian faithful will stand by this film and its sequels; sequels assuredly filled with broken metaphors for gender-inclusive bathrooms and white replacement, probably sometime in 2028.
She-Hulk: Attorney at Law (2022)
Very enjoyable. Good sense of humor
A very good start. Love Tatiana's take on the character. The show has some great humor and doesn't take itself too seriously. Plot is a little rushed, but that fits the character (in the comic she very quickly learned to balance herself as a hulk, too).
I like the show's take on woman's experience in the world, having to control herself around toxic men. That said, the writing for that is a little heavy-handed. I would have rather had time to develop that moment than the unnecessary fight scenes. But people need to see a big hero battle, I guess.
I'm completely confused by the villain's brief appearance. It seems a waste of Jameela Jamil if that's all we're going to see if her.
The visual affects are getting some grief, but I can't disagree more. Most of the moments I've seen in the show (not the trailers) are flawless. A couple uncanny valley moments, but none of it takes me out of the movie.
In Gramps' Shoes (2014)
Narcissistic, Controlling, self-aggrandizing, boorish
Writer/Actor/Director Donald James Parker once again convinces his fellow church members to praise him on film for his health, gumption, generosity, religious zealotry, and...youth. I don't know what he pays these people to pretend he's tolerable, but it can't be enough.
The tiny gaps between these conceited segments are sprinkled with his unhinged ramblings on smoking cigarettes, Harry Potter, and general altruism.
The mastermind behind this work, who once wrote and paid an actor to say the line, "some would say he's handsome," clearly believes himself a misunderstood ubermensch. If only people would give up their prideful, sinful lifestyles and live more like a spry, hard-working, incisive, wise, ruggedly-handsome, martyr such as Donald James Parker, their problems would all wash away and their lives would be simple and righteous.
Father Stu (2022)
So BOOOOOORRRRIIINGGG
He doesn't actually DO anything. Sorry he had a terrible disease, but that does not make for an engaging story. Everything the character attempts (which isn't much) is for his own gain or satisfaction. The dialogue is painfully drawn out, the acting is wooden, and there's just so little story to stretch into a two hour movie. There's even very little actual religion in it. Who was this for?!
Is It Cake? (2022)
Great show. Creepy host
I love the concept of the show, love the camaraderie of the contestants, love the cakes they make. However, the host is very unsettling, and that's before they give him a big knife with which to play. He's not funny, he's not enjoyable to watch, and he draws too much attention away from the talented contestants. I hope they consider a warmer host for next season.
William Kelly's War (2014)
William Kelly is a lie. Billy Sing was the real deal.
This film whitewashed an Australian-Chinese soldier named Billy Sing. Apparently the filmmaker didn't feel the man suffered enough anti-Chinese racism in 1917, so he rewrote him as strictly Anglo. The battle back home seems to have been invented from whole cloth.