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Reviews
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023)
Well this party died!
This whole thing felt like a 2h 30m episode of Rick and Morty written by Justin Roiland.
I'm saying that because it actually is from a writer from Rick and Morty. Because (I think to cut costs) Marvel decides every single thing they make now has to revolve around Rick and Morty writers.
Every single time they even attempt to make a joke it always ALWAYS lands flat. Maybe some slight bits quirky are sometimes cute but for almost everything I watched with a dead face.
However...The only reason why I can say this has any value is M-effing Kang The Conqueror. THIS is a Marvel villain. Literally almost every scene he is apart of is even remotely Good. He's so much a threatening character to be a really good replacement to Thanos and Jonathan Majors makes this performance his own. His acting is almost TOO good for Ant-man and the Wasp: Quantumania.
But unfortunately, there is a Yang to this Yin. And you pretty much know what it is - It's MODOK.
I have never seen something butcher a really good villain so bad it becomes laughably awful even when he's not telling a joke, but here we are. And that Terrible CGI head isn't doing any favors either.
Did they took inspiration from the Patton Oswald MODOK show? Because I swear MCU MODOK and stop motion MODOK are practically the same thing.
However, despite MODOK's head the visual facts are really good especially for a Marvel movie.
My Advice is for you to wait till it's on Disney+ if you just want to educate yourself before the next two avengers movies.
The Bad Guys (2022)
I Don't Get it.......
Why did they just made a documentary about everyday life in LA and disguise it as an adaptation of the books?
Yeah it turns out I need a lot more characters than just that one joke to post this review. I think I'm regretting not getting myself a letterboxd account. Anyway, movie's nice. I like the experimental animation style Dreamworks is trying out in their recent movies and eventually we will see more from Puss in boots. This have some seriously good performances from seriously good actors ( I especially liked Sam Rockwell as Mr. Wolf). And above all else, how it was directed was by far the best part of the whole-wait I'm done? Minimum character limit met? Ok.
Web Slingers: A Spider-Man Adventure (2021)
For Avenger Campus's ONLY (besides GOTG: Mission Breakout) ride...it's fine
Pros:
The attention to detail in this ride is absolutely insane, and possibly the best part of the ride. Keep an eye out for Easter eggs, fun little surprises around every corner, and more.
The ride itself is a fun. Not the greatest Disney has to offer but one fun little thing you could ride if you have spare time. I have heard some complaints that it's a ripoff of Toy Story Mania, and I definitely see where they are coming from. But It does have it own identity that, It would be unfair to call this a ripoff of another ride at the park.
Tom Holland is back (Yay)
For fans of Marvel's signature humor, they do use it in this ride but they don't use prominently across the whole thing. And they certainly don't overuse it.
The Visual effects in this ride are surprisingly good (God knows they definitely told some some VFX artists to stay overtime).
Cons:
Don't go on this ride if you have a weak arm. The whole point of this ride is that you don't have blasters or shooters on your ride like Buzz Lightyear or Toy story mania, instead you have to use your arms and do the spider man hand thing he use to spawn his webs and fire at the spider bots destroying avengers campus. And yes, there are A LOT of them. This is for sure going to give you an arm cramp if your trying to reach a high score.
Micro transactions
The line (Depending on the time of day) becomes unbelievably long for an average ride at Disneyland and if you think it's gonna be worth the long wait if there is a long wait to begin with...it's not. Then again It's Disneyland, they have a reputation for long lines.
It's a pretty weak ride for an opening land, especially a Marvel themed one. That's like announcing Galaxy's edge and the only ride you have on opening day is Star Tours. Not a bad ride but for an entire land dedicated to Star Wars, you would expect something more. I Know that they are planning to make a multiverse ride with the avengers there and honestly...I really hope that comes. Because really avengers campus needs something more beside our friendly neighborhood spider man and the Guardians. It's just a Marvel themed mall at this point.
When Billie Met Lisa (2022)
Well this was a waste of time!
Yeah Sorry... this ain't it, chief.
Pros:
Billie Eilish is surprisingly a really good actor! As we've seen her when she hosted Saturday night live. She can deliver a good comedic timing and tone. As she can have a lot of fun doing this roles as well as singing. (Which is obviously her specialty.)
I liked the little visual gag with the Billie Eilish recording studio and the little sign that said what was Billie's hair today that changes over it.
"Sorry guys, I'm replacing all of you with this little girl I found under a bridge" was funny.
Bart Simpson, while not being there for quite awhile and only had one line was cute in here. He had cute little visual gags and his one line very much sounded like him. So he was fine.
"Free us!" Was funny.
Cons
There's little to no value. Mainly because there's no message to truly make this a worth while watch.
There's no character development or real emotion between Billie and Lisa mostly because it's literately 3 minutes long and half of the whole short is just this the musical notes from the Simpsons theme song sheet springing to life and performing silly hijinks with the citizens of Springfield.
I Barley remembered the whole thing literately two seconds after writing this review so i had to re-watch it again to Romberg what i hated about it.
Doesn't Billie live in LA, why does she have a giant freaking recording studio in Springfield, let alone IN Springfield to begin with?
Finneas is barley in here and does practically nothing but sit there and have a couple of lines.
The John Coltrane joke felt weirdly cramped in there
The Disney plus gag also felt weirdly cramped in there.
Army of the Dead (2021)
4/10 What. A. Mess.
If I were to say anything actually cool about Army of the Dead, it went be the opening credits. There's the Zack Snyder I know. Beautiful shots of buildings being destroyed, awesome scenes of people getting eaten, and done WITHOUT being unfocused and hard to look at. That's the only thing that warrants its 4/10
The rest of the movie of the movie is a badly written, infuriatingly bad shot, and annoying bad directed dumpster fire of a movie.
First of all: Why out of all things, does THIS get a cinematic universe. (I'm not joking, Snyder thinks that there's a bigger universe inside Army of the Dead) In fact, there's at least 3 more projects that are being made for this universe, including: An anime prequel, another prequel following a few thieves that tried to get the money first, and a sequel that will take place in Mexico. WHAT? I mean, this won't be the worst thing to give a cinematic universe to, but it will be the most MEANINGLESS thing to give a cinematic universe to.
Second of all: Did anyone else notice that nothing is Accomplished in this? (Spoiler Warning) In the end: The money wasn't stolen, and head of the Queen that apparently is worth more than the money They're trying to steal falling down being crushed, everyone dies (except Kate), they didn't save Kate's friend that was captured by the zombies they made a big deal out of, and in the end the black guy that got bitten survived because he was locked in a vault, on which he got out of which will then set up the sequel. So they didn't won anything, they died for nothing, and brought about the end of humanity. So this movie pretty much has little to no value and isn't even worth your time to watch it. Pathetic.
Third of all: I think was is the movie in Zack Snyder's career where he was given little to no studio interface and did whatever he want because he's an infamous director and then used that chance to do whatever he want to make something stupid. It happens to some great directors from time to time, Patty Jenkins has Wonder Woman 1984, M. Night Shyamalan has almost his entire career, and James Cameron has Avatar (2009). And it clearly shows.
Thats' s all.
Star Wars: The Bad Batch (2021)
10/10 Fate has good plans for Star Wars
I know that series isn't over yet, and there is still PLENTY more episodes to go before it's the end of the series (16 episodes).
But I can't help it, Dave Filoni is a Genius, except when he's being forced to be one (Star Wars: Resistance)
While I admit, some of the dialogue from the bad batch can be very specific to the point of being unrealistic and even childish. But at the same time, there is so much personality and motives in SOME of them (Echo). This series has some much creatively and beautifully written characters that you feel actually danger when characters like Omega are in trouble. And not to mention Crosshair can make you feel dread and sometimes misery for the character even if you've haven't seen the clone wars. Speaking of that, they do a title thing at the intro in the first episode where you see the clone wars title, but then it burns showing the new bat batch title. Signaling that this is a semi-sequel to the clone wars.
The world building is cool, the comedy from mostly the droids can be funny, when wrecker gets wholesome, he gets wholesome, and the characters ( some aren't) are very nicely written. And safe to say, can't exactly wait for more of the bad batch.
The Invisible Man (2020)
10/10 Wow....Kinda surprised.
While it does has some problems in connection with The Mummy (2017), as it is confirmed that The Invisible Man (2020) is part of Universal's Dark universe. But...it's pretty much a crumbling, broken, mess that Blumhouse is looking to clean up so, how can I blame it? But as a movie, it's one of the best horror movies I've seen ever! However, it does have those traditional horror movie flaws. The ones that make you go, "Oh my god, turn around, grab the knife and kill it! Standing around is not doing anything!". But, it does make it up for some brilliant directing and artistically clever and actually scary scenes. The Characters are pretty much the best part. They spent time with one another, they give them realistic personalities, and the acting is phenomenal!