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The Blacklist: The Kazanjian Brothers (No. 156/157) (2020)
Good Intentions I Guess, but ...
Goodness gracious this was awful. I get the panic porn got to everyone and they wanted to finish what they started but after watching this it would have been to wait and finish filming properly. The animation was just awful, the sound quality at points nearly as bad and the sloppy story to make this the season finale was unforgivable.
Is there anyway to pull the plug on this and try again at a later date? I hope so because if this is how the season ends the show may shed to many viewers to survive.
Always Be My Maybe (2019)
Best of the Bunch
Not usually a fan of the rom/com genre but this one is a best of. Randall Park and Ali Wong are honest, believable and spot on in their roles. Keanu Reeves adds a self-deprecating cameo that pokes fun at his notoriously nice guy persona. Not even a hint of the gender politics that is usually the foundation of rom/coms and it even manages to stick a finger in the eye of celebrity culture.
If you've been starving for decent comedy like us, worth the time to check it out.
MacGyver: Murdoc + Helman + Hit (2019)
It's Officially a Contest ...
Which will happen first, will I quit watching or will it get canceled.
The show has been drifting since the arrival of Meredith Eaton and the loss of George Eads might have been survivable but replacing him with the low talent Levy Tran was a monumental mistake. This tattoo cover bimbo is so utterly unbelievable in her role it's hard to adequately describe and I was already struggling to keep watching the incessant I am woman hear me roar nonsense and thinking of dropping the show from my lineup already, but the scene at the end with Tillis telling her how well she's filled Jack's shoes was like a cold slap in the face.
Please spare us any more and put this miserable thing our of our misery and cancel it. But safe money is on me quitting before it happens because I don't think I can take any more.
Sons of Anarchy: A Mother's Work (2013)
Katy Segal & Kurt Sutter's Amazing Technicolor Ego Trip
Sure the violence has been ratcheted up this season and that's kept it bearable amongst the seemingly endless, often pointless, twists and turns but the 500 pound gorilla in the series that makes it less and less enjoyable with each passing season if not episode is front and center again.
Katey Sagal's character, Gemma, has become one of the most unlikeable, contemptuous and utterly contrived ever to appear (let alone remain) in any TV series. One underlying themes of the series from the outset is that betrayal of the club and/or of Jax ultimately leads to death but oh no not for this character ... no matter how flagrant or openly she schemes and deceives, no matter how many lies she's caught in, no matter much damage her treachery does nobody seems to notice or care. Her ability to inexplicably and effortlessly evade the consequences everyone else must eventually face is mind boggling. Since the middle of season 5 I find myself tuning in for no other reason than the hope I'll get to see this singularly repugnant person "get hers" in the most horrifically violent and painful way imaginable as one would reasonably expect anyone like her in real life would have long ago ... but alas it never happens.
Indeed, one redeeming aspect of the season 6 finale is that it confirms my long held and growing belief that the last few seasons and the one rumored to remain have become little more than a vehicle for Kurt Sutter to preen his wife's ego and keep the illusion of her otherwise non-existent career alive ... indeed her next project is of course one of her husband's.
To say this episode has squelched any enthusiasm for a final season 7 would be a grand understatement.
Game of Thrones: Mhysa (2013)
Easily the Worst Episode of the Entire Series Thus Far ...
... and a truly dismal finale to the season. If you've seen Red Wedding and haven't seen Mhysa yet do yourself a favor and just skip it to avoid the let down as you'll gain absolutely no new information, story lines aren't advanced in any way with this episode and the gritty parts of the series, the sex and violence, that have become a trade mark of what has been a unique and entertaining series to this point, are utterly gratuitous, pointless and without merit.
The most disappointing part of this episode might be the continuing irrelevance and diminishing significance of one of the best storyline and characters in the series, that of Daenerys Targaryen and her dragons. With each episode less time has been devoted to her and when she does appear, as in this episode, it seems to have no importance what so ever and her dialog is beginning to border on silly. Her appearance here seems to be little more than an after thought.
There seem to be a lot of fanboy types marking this episode up and giving it glowing reviews but don't believe them. Amongst the friends, family and co-workers which my wife and I talk about this show on a regular basis there's been universal disappointment with the episode especially as the season finale.
So much so that I can't help but wonder if HBO and the show's producers didn't inflict a mortal wound on the series with this disaster. We won't see another installment until 2014 and our own sentiment is reflected in the answer to the question we've asked of everyone we've talked with; what are you looking forward to next season and the answer to a person is, nothing.
This all seems very reminiscent of the progression of Battlestar Galactica, a terrible season 3 ending that left fans wanting, an extended period of time until the next season premiere in which people stopped caring and then the end.
Django Unchained (2012)
Failed to meet our expectations, and that's a good thing.
Wife and I had no intentions of ever watching this movie; on paper it just had way to many strikes going against it. Never been a big fan of Tranantino's work save Pulp Fiction, Jamie Foxx, Samuel L. Jackson and Leonardo DiCaprio personal philosophies and activism are so wretched the presence of any one of them in a film essentially guarantees we won't pay to see it and their combined presence in a film centered on the subject of slavery seemed a sure recipe for an over the top hate fest ... but friends had the Bluray waiting to go back in the mail and insisted we watch it with them.
As one would expect the film has Tarantino's bloods soaked hoof prints all over it, but not nearly as gratuitously so as say, Reservoir Dogs, and beyond the obvious matter of slavery the story is built upon the politics is pretty much checked at the door.
What's most interesting about about Django Unchained is that while IMDb lists this as Action/Crime/Drama which is pretty much the genre I was expecting, this is also one of the funniest movies I've seen in a long while. Having written several reviews lambasting the preponderance of hate-filled garbage Hollywood has been trying to pass of as humor and comedy the past decade or so, it was more than a little refreshing to see some of the most hilarious, no doubt some will say politically incorrect, bits on the screen in what seems like ages. It's even more impressive that it's all done within the context of such a heavy, dark and violent story.
If you've avoided seeing it because you thought you knew what it was or what to expect based on what you've read from the "professional" reviews you might want rethink that. We avoided it based on what we'd heard and read and thought we knew what expect and we couldn't have been more misled or wrong.
The few knocks against it might be that it's about 20 to 30 minutes longer than it needed to be and the transition to the final act is a bumpy and tortured but enough to diminish the overall experience.
This Is 40 (2012)
This one's for all the man haters out there.
A truly awful and depressing film that continues several trends in entertainment.
The first being that just about every "comedy" produced any more centers around the idea there is humor in dissecting the abject misery of men who are in relationships with emasculating, selfish, miserable witches who loath the men in their lives.
The next being that Paul Rudd and Jason Segel appear to be in a competition of sorts to see who can take on the most roles where they play the pathetic, cuckolded husbands of these revolting women. Indeed this movie was so painful to watch half way through my wife insisted we turn it off stating that if either of these two actors appears in a cast of a film she will not watch it.
Other reviewers have said things like this film is an example of what's wrong with the country, not sure if I'd go that far but it's at the very least an example of what's wrong with Hollywood and its sick, twisted view of life and relationships outside Malibu. Anyone who sees merit or humor in films like this really has some deep rooted issues they should be seeking help for.
Just a horrible film in every possible way.
Last Man Standing (2011)
Hollwyood at it's worst
Season one of Last Man Standing was an enjoyable family sit-com even if it didn't present a great number of new ideas and rehashed some of the Tool Time/Tim Taylor vibe. We were looking forward to season two and then it came and we're reminded of the old adage, be mindful of what you wish for as you might just get it.
Season two has been an absolute train wreck from the opening scene of the first episode. The first problem - the decision to replace Alexandra Krosney with Amanda Fuller as Kristen Baxter might rank as one of the worst casting decisions ever made by a TV series. Where Alexandra was very believable as an accidental teenage mother doing her best to raise her child, remain pleasant and positive with the support of her family despite her self imposed burdens, Amanda isn't at all. Not believable, pleasant or positive, and rarely even appears to be trying, not the character or the actress. She's clearly much older in not only her appearance but in her manner as well, frequently comes off as bitter, angry, vengeful and openly resentful and hostile to everyone but especially her father. Even when the rest of the cast is working their parts and creating a humorous moment her appearance, as well as that of her equally caustic and unpleasant baby daddy Ryan(Jordan Masterson)are like a demolition crew armed with sledgehammers and chainsaws sent to put an end to it.
Second and perhaps the greater problem is the dramatic shift towards being radical left propaganda the scripts have taken. Whereas the first season touched on some political themes in very vague and general ways and made fun of the left/right caricatures every episode of season two has been a recitation of the most radical and dishonest talking points of the left with the "conservative-ish" characters being portrayed as villains with nothing to say in response or in their own defense.
Some of the propaganda is so over the top it is at the very least highly irresponsible if not down right dangerous. A good example might be episode four where a female gold-digger character played by Robin Riker is deemed to be perfectly reasonable and justified in her expectation of getting more money from her ex despite having carried out an act of domestic violence against her then husband that would likely be classified as attempted homicide were it to occur in real life. Hearing a laugh track as 76 year old Hector Elizondo's character Ed describes being stabbed in the chest near his heart is surreal and the stuff of the most depraved minds in Hollywood.
Although this is now par for the course with everything Hollywood touches these days and relentless bashing of anything traditional, American or center-right passes for comedy is the norm, it's very, very and disappointing to see Tim Allen not only allow this to happen to his show but his participation in it as well.
We've watched our last episode and suspect this series won't be around much longer.
Boardwalk Empire: Margate Sands (2012)
One of the best hours of TV I've ever seen
Not sure the show's writers and producers did themselves any favors with fans taking as long to build to this end, but holy cow what a finish. If you're one of those who's complained the show was moving to slowly and not doing enough to keep it interesting this episode should make the wait worthwhile.
There's everything you could ask for in a gangster story packed into one hour, drama, action, violence (a lot), treachery, surprise twists and turns and most surprisingly not many loose ends left hanging. Just enough to give them something to work with for next season while allowing them to change the direction of the story without making seem drawn out or tedious as can often happen.
If the show ended tomorrow it would feel complete, but it doesn't so there's something to look forward to.
Battleship (2012)
The Not So Good, the Really Bad and the Shockingly Ugly Or ...
How much cheese do what on your corn? Let me start with the one moderately positive thing I'll say about this film; if flashy CGI, big fiery explosions and action for the sake of said is all you need to make a movie, there's about and hour and 20 minutes of it here... and absolutely nothing else.
From the outset it's awful. The first 30 minutes of the film is character "development" that is so thin and poor that it actually becomes offensive to members of the United States Navy. *knock* *knock* Hollywood it's 2012, not height of war 1942, the US military does not accept unemployed, alcoholic losers facing felony charges let alone fast track them into line officer positions. If you have the constitution to make it beyond the first half hour of this disaster then you no doubt have what it takes to become a wise cracking naval officer and sociopath who can single handedly defeat aliens invasions as well. Which leads us to ...
Taylor Kitsch/Lieutenant Alex Hopper. On any list of pretty boys with little or no talent who still manage to land roles Taylor Kitsch is a contender to the top spot. Granted the dialog he's working with is truly atrocious to begin with and it's unlikely anyone could have made it work, but the combination of it and his lack of talent result in what starts out as a train-wreck the moment he opens his mouth that morphs into a 28 vehicle pile up with multiple fatalities on a fog blanketed road by the time he shuts up. If any member of the US military were ever to conduct themselves in the manner LT Alex Hooper is portrayed and presented he would face charges before making it out of basic training. Awful, truly, horrifically, unbelievably awful from start to finish. I feel at this moment like I wish to keep typing to try and convey just how bad he is but I know there simply aren't enough of the right kinds of words in the English language that would allow me to, so let's just move on to the next disaster.
Rihanna/Petty Officer Cora Raikes. Wow! Whoever is responsible for this casting decision should immediately be fired and never again be allowed to work in any facet of the entertainment industry again. Not only is she lacking in acting ability nearly to the degree of Kitsch, but the this fat-bottomed hip-hop skank with a history being abused by her boyfriends makes her so utterly inappropriate for this role that it should have brought every member of NOW out picketing the studio the moment she was announced. Strong female characters being portrayed by weak, profane punching bags... sad to say the least. Whether trying to convince the viewer that she's a tough enough to play soccer with and against men in an international tournament or incoherently blabbering technoishly terminology in the operation center of a naval ship or going toe to toe with an alien warrior that just knocked down a steel bulkhead, she is so utterly unbelievable doing any of it that it runs from painful to nauseating to watch.
Which leads us to the first completely nonsensical aspect of the script. Apparently the defense budget of the US Navy is in worse shape than any of us has been led to believe. Not only "destroyers" have been brought back into service and are manned with five person crews who do everything from command and control duties in the operations center, to reconnoitering potential threats in assault craft to carrying out search and destroy missions as part of a TAC team and last but not least flawless fire control operations with weapon systems that haven't been in use since before any of the characters were presumably born...
... and then to the next bit of foolishness that is the foundation of this story. Is it even conceivable to anyone that a ship that has been decommissioned and turned into a floating museum has a compliment of functioning weapons, ammo and fuel and can be put into service by the same five crew members and half a dozen senior citizens in just minutes. That the writers, producers and director actually thought that this could be sold as a valid premise just cuts to the heart of how stupid they think the average movie goer is. Patently absurd is the only way to describe it and unfortunately it not the only thing that's absurd and maybe not even the most absurd premise of this film.
I love good science fiction and action films and I get the need to suspend disbelief in order to make certain types of films, really I do. Fantasy technologies, bending of the laws of physics, impossible time lines etc when used properly can make a movie. There is however, or at least should be a limit, but not here. This movies doesn't merely bend the laws of physics and strain believability it shatters them then sweeps the shards up off the floor runs them through an industrial shredder collects the by product melts it down cast them again and then smashes the result with a sledge hammer.
Not a single solitary aspect of the sciencey part of science fiction is even remotely possible or plausible. The action scenes from first to last are so far beyond the limits of believable it almost unfathomable.
This film is so bad on so many levels that if I see the names Peter Berg, Taylor Kitsch or Rhianna associated with any future projects I will do my utmost to avoid it.
Hysteria (2011)
This is a the movie major Hollywood studios are incapable of making today.
One of the best movies, perhaps the best, I've seen all year.
When was the last time a major studio put out a film that was entertaining, funny, informative and didn't have an ax to grind?
Far too long.
Save for one line by Maggie Gyllenhaal's self serving misrepresentation of socialism the movie managed to cover some historical material in a balanced manner while poking fun at authorities, political and social, without being heavy handed, judgmental or crass.
Everything about Hysteria from casting to the acting, the costumes, the scenery... you name it, all was top notch.
Enjoyable from beginning to end.
The Five-Year Engagement (2012)
One of the worst films of the year, one my ten worst ever.
Wife and I watched this movie with high expectations because of Jason Segeland his previous work. 124 minutes later neither one of us had cracked so much as smile, she was utterly offended while I was less so as I've come to expect this dreck from the formulaic romantic "comedies" that are marketed towards women.
Unique only in the level of outright disdain that Hollywood holds for men that is on exhibit here, it is so thick it practically drips off the screen. Every male character, and I mean EVERY one, is a caricature of one type or another of men as slacked jawed, mouth breathing imbeciles who might likely forget to breath or constantly soil themselves were it not for the highly intelligent, wise beyond their years, always sexy and dynamic no matter what women whose lives are limited because of them.
Spoilers Begin HERE: Pretty standard fare now from Hollywood in which the never ending indignation heaped upon one particularly dim-witted male by his manipulative but clearly superior romantic interest is somehow intended to somehow be funny.
In this version one particular clod, played by Jason Segel, is made to look like the bad guy once again because despite his best groveling, boot licking and subservience to his fiancé, up to and including giving up his promising career in San Francisco and putting his entire life and their plans on hold in order to follow her like a love sick puppy to Michigan so she can pursue her post graduate work - the underlying implication that everyone knows academia is so much more inherently worthy than any other career one might choose its a given he would do this strikes one like a sledgehammer - he has the unmitigated gall to react badly when she oh so nobly reveals her recent indiscretion to him with her department head and mentor. Shame on him and how dare he try to shackle her sexuality or some similar clap trap they like to spout in LA these days.
The course of this film is so utterly predictable that no sooner had Rhys Ifans' character been introduced my wife declared "oh well I guess we know who she's hooking up with already." Not to worry though despite having shattered Segel's life in multiple ways and after having spent several sleeping her way into a highly coveted job but not realizing it because she's so innocent and clearly entitled to the job Emily Blunt has "earned" she will ultimately rescue Jason from the clutches of a 23 year old bombshell and their empty, obviously meaningless relationship. But hey, that is after all how how real life works and we all know that every man is just waiting to have the constant affection and physical attention of a younger beautiful woman replaced by the stiletto heal, lash and leash held by the hand of the much less attractive but clearly more introspective and deep academic. *pfffth* I'm sorry but I'm laughing as I type this. Not because anything in the film but because I do realize this is how Hollywood view the world. Of course their reunion won't come because she realizes she made the mistake and did her ex-wrong, of course not she perfect so that's not possible. No it only happens after her mentor is revealed to be just another sex crazed power hungry male who ends up telling her she's easily replaced by the next class of groupies and Jason Realizes how badly he needs the presence of his former emotional dominatrix in his life in order to be complete and runs of to purse her.
I'm probably repeating myself having commented on other equally appalling, anti-male films of the "romantic comedy" genre, but if you laugh at any point in this movie or found it the least be redeeming, you should probably seek our professional help to get to the bottom of your deep seated hostility toward men.
The Help (2011)
You just never know...
I have to state up front I went into watching this film with a great deal of trepidation. My daughter wanted to see it and thought sure I was in for another of Hollywood's kook-left, revisionist political hit pieces that I've become accustom to anytime they touch historical material. To their credit I couldn't have been more wrong nor pleasantly surprised.
A very poignant, sensitive and serious tale about a very difficult time in the nation's history that everyone should see. Everything from the casting to the acting, the writing, the scenery ... you name it hardly a negative thing to say about it.
This is honestly the first movie in at least 5 years my teenage daughter, twenty something son, wife and I all enjoyed equally.
The Walking Dead: Secrets (2011)
Lose the zombie, cue the Hollywood talking points
With the wealth of potential story lines available this was disappointing to see so early on ... in the vernacular I believe this is what is known as "jumping the shark." Another episode on the farm listening to them whine and snivel about the unfairness and injustice of it all *yawn,* Rick Grimes shows he's a proud cuckold in a fancy new skirt and not one but two Hollywood kook left talking points made.
First the absurdity of anyone in a situation like this objecting to guns or learning how to defend themselves with one should be apparent to anyone and the over the top hyper-sexual response from Andrea's after her first zombie shoot is about as cliché as it gets. Now the idea of the original farm members never having had to put down a walker just looks dumb.
Not content with getting in the - psycho sexual cliché about gun owners the writers feel the need to pile on with the pro-abortion it's her choice commentary. Guess the pro-gay, pro-union and anti-conservative/Republican episodes won't be far behind in this now meandering mess - can't wait to see how they get in a dig at Sarah Palin...
Oh wait, yes I can. Get ready to stick a fork in this series it's almost done as the writers have already clearly lost their way and probably deviated to far from the essentials to recover.
Horrible Bosses (2011)
A Rare Product From Hollywood: Real Comedy.
Well it seems that Hollywood can only do it about once every three to five years but Horrible Bosses is evidence that can do it when they want - make comedies that are actually funny.
No political agendas, none of the stock premises like men are all stupid buffoons who couldn't live without some enlightened leftist woman to around to remind them to breath and wipe their bottoms or middle America is comprised of uneducated religious fanatics and closeted deviants ... none of the anti-male/anti-American/anti-religious screeds that have become the staple of Hollywood "comedies" the past few decades and driven theater patronage to new lows year after year, just funny.
Can't comment on whether this is the best work of Jennifer Aniston's career as others have stated as I tend to avoid the movies and shows she typically appears so I have little to compare to but she is hilarious in Horrible Bosses. While I enjoyed her in Just Go With it as well this character is quite different and she nailed both so I guess that says something about her ability.
Definitely worth going out of your way to see this one.
Man on Fire (2004)
The "Pros" get it wrong, again!
Read the critics reviews... now check the rating and reviews from regular folk... now you why the views of people paid to review films aren't worth the paper they're printed on.
Everything in this movie works! It's been a long time since I've been this drawn in by the characters of a film, felt empathy for them and sat on the edge of my seat not know what would happen next. And holy cow, no political agenda, heavy handed moralizing or and of the PC nonsense that ruins just about everything Hollywood touches these days.
Even the ending, which most of the critics who gave poor reviews made a point of attacking, is more clever and rewarding than just about anything I've seen the last decade.
Eat Pray Love (2010)
Women pay to watch this crap?
I didn't want to see it because I knew what to expect, she did and it was her birthday... 'nuff said.
When people wonder why women suffer from higher rates of depression and why studies show women who watch chick flick have higher divorce rates and lower satisfaction levels from their relationships show them Eat Pray Love as an example of why ... on what planet does this story represent reality? Is this the worst movie I've ever seen, no. It was however one of the most painful to endure I can remember. Filled with every PC talking point you can think of each cliché is delivered like the drips of some cruel Chinese water torture ... contrived, simplistic, touchy-feely ... these words don't begin to convey the shallowness, the pure superficiality represented here.
Guys do whatever you have to - beg, barter, lie anything to avoid this nonsense. Of course the woman in you life is probably going to want to see it and you're still going to end up failing to meet the unrealistic expectations it set ups for her but at least you can have a few hours to get blind drunk and hopefully deaden some of the ensuing suffering.
My Mom's New Boyfriend (2008)
Meg Ryan and her character wrecked this...
Could have been one of the better romantic comedies, marquee actors, a somewhat clever story line and a stock but well played plot twist at the end. Could have been, but wasn't because Meg Ryan is a one woman wrecking crew from beginning to end. Her character idea is clever, but Meg Ryan plays her like a chipmunk on crank - constantly hyper-energetic, late sixties/early seventies cliché spewing, hippy-trippy-chippy. We're to believe this unbelievably annoying person attracts men of all ages to her like a mythical siren and women adore her as well. Reality check Hollywood; men run for the exits when they encounter women like Marty Durand who all but has a sandwich board sign declaring her bi-polar/border line psychotic personality disorder and women loathe self-centered attention seeking vapidness that she represent. Less than half way through the movie my wife said she was hoping for a plot twist that involved the gun toting FBI son shooting this insipid twit just to shut her up - I enthusiastically concurred! As bad as the Marty Durand character was, Meg Ryan playing her only made her more unbearable. Hot, she's so hot, so so so hot Marty Duran is so freaking hot or so every single character in the movie tells us, again and again and again and again and again and again please god make them stop - prompting me to ask is everyone from the casting director on down is utterly blind? Meg Ryan looks horrifically bad.
If she had attempted to squeeze one more droplet of collagen into her fat, drooping under their own weight, lips I have no doubt they would have exploded all over her botox hardened face the moment she uttered her first line. There are few things more disturbing than watching someone play chipper and happy when their eyebrows and forehead are frozen stiff.
Yes Meg you're thin and in shape and that's great, but do us all and yourself a favor by laying off the facial injections and try aging gracefully.
A truly bad casting choice and a horrible performance killed this thing out of the gate.