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McDonald & Dodds: Jinxy Sings The Blues (2023)
Dodds Blows It
Jason Watkins plays Dodds, and in last season's episode he was being accused of murder, and had a non-stop emotional breakdown. Now this episode, the murder victim is a childhood friend, and Dodds is once again a cry-baby basket case.
Really ponderous and annoying to watch a so-called professional detective having emotional fits. I could be watching Lifetime Channel if I wanted to see an infomercial for TOM pads. Maybe he is having a breakdown in the real world and they are customizing the screenplays to fit his fragile psyche? Maybe they need a new Dodds?
Add to that the cynical and sarcastic attitude of Tala Gouveia, and this show is hard to watch. Apparently her only facial expression is between a sneer and a smirk?
The story of the search for the map of the crossroads where Robert Johnson sold his soul to the devil is interesting enough. Unfortunately the story has a pretty lame conclusion. Apparently a college student was disappointed over his grade in his Blues class, and decided to spend millions of dollars to get even with his teacher. He also manages to kill a couple of people. Happens all the time (NOT).
The Lone Ranger: Pete and Pedro (1949)
Dumb and Dumber
A horrible comedy episode with two incredibly bad actors playing one dimensional stereotypes. Pete and Pedro are played by Rufe Davis (Pete) and Don Diamond (Pedro).
Pete and Pedro are constantly fighting with each other, and dueling each other. At one point they are trying to shoot at each other's ears by bending over and putting the guns between their legs. Apparently that was funny in 1949.
It seems like these two were being set-up for the own Western series, but then Don Diamond (Pedro) got hired to be Kit Carson's sidekick (El Toro) on The Adventures of Kit Carson (1951-1955). Don Diamond was Russian, but he spent his career playing Mexican characters, including Corporal Reyes on Zorro (1957-1959).
The non-stop comedy fighting between Pete and Pedro was tough to enjoy. The very pronounced Latin accent by Don Diamond was over the top. He has to be the most unfunny Hispanic character that I have ever seen on any TV series or movie.
When these two characters are not fighting against each other with their outrageous wisecracks, they are romanicing their boss, the owner of the ranch (Sheila Ryan). In the modern times, these two hombres would have a hard time finding a job working the night shift at a cemetery.
Mystery Road (2018)
Slow paced and very boring
I watched the first episode and fell asleep. I watched the second episode, and absolutely nothing happened. Nobody finds the missing kids, nobody knows what happened to them, no clues are found.
The main detective, Jay Swan (Aaron Pederson), has no connection to anyone else and does everything on his own. The reason he is sent to the town does not make much sense, and apparently he is a power unto himself, and the Sheriff has no authority over him. She tries to get him re-called, and is shot down by the regional director.
Thanks to Swan and the Sheriff working seperately, the story goes in different dysfunctional directions, and nobody is working together to find the missing kids.
Judy Davis plays the Sheriff, and she was around 60 years old when this was filmed, but looks really dried up. It is hard to believe that anyone that elderly would be a front line Sheriff in a small town.
Detective Swan's daughter shows up to create stress and teenage angst. She is played by Madeline Madden. Combined with her detective father, it is a big block of arrogance. I did not really like either character much, nor the Sheriff either.
The supporting characters are mostly average Aussie actors. No inspired acting to watch. They just plod along, and say their lines.
FBI: All the Rage (2024)
Bad Joke
Wallace gets another officer killed. Second time she is partnered up with someone that ends up dying. The first one was her informant friend last season. Now its two.
As tradition dictates, she goes on a rampage to avenge the death. As usual, Missy runs around letting everyone know that they have to be professional, and that Wallace needs to calm down. What a drag she is on this show.
Zeeko Zacko who plays OA gives another speech about his people not being terrorists, even though they are. This show is like some kind of politically correct propaganda class. At least for the first time in about five seasons, the bomber was not an Aryan skinhead.
Kitchen Nightmares: Mojito (2010)
Perra Con Pulgas
Mojito Cuban Cuisine is run by Kata and Marcelo, ex- lovers and full-time drama queens. Hard to believe that Marcelo is the man, considering he is non-stop drama and crying and complaining. Kata is no slouch either when it comes to whining, cryihg, complaining, and blaming. The two of them are a toxic couple.
It is no surprise that they cannot stand being together, yet they stay together for seven years after Ramsay filmed them, motivated by greed and Kata need for attention. After Kitchen Nightmares, Kata has appeared on Chopped, Cut Throat Kitchen, and Chef Wanted with Anne Burrell.
For Kata, it is not the food, it is the audience and her desire to be a TV personality. For Marcelo, he has faded away and nobody knows what he has been doing since Mojito shut down in 2016.
The food itself was standard Cuban food. It was nothing unique or rare, and it seemed like Kata and Marcelo were mostly acting up to exagerate their problems. This was not rocket science. Rice and beans are not that hard to make, and neither are plantains and tostones.
At least Ramsay tried, but it seemed like this episode spent way too much time on the family therapy angle, and not enough focus on cooking food in the kitchen.
Gunsmoke: The Judgment (1972)
Richard Kelton Kills It
Richard Kelton killed any credibility that this episode had. Unlike the rest of the actors, that looked and acted like Western characters, Kelton looked like he stepped out of a 1960s protest or music video. He had nothing Western about his character.
His 1960s layered mullet hairstyle did not help. His whiny 1960s guilting of everyone did not help. His 1960s flip-flopping the lynching to his sister (Mariette Hartley) did not help. This felt more like an episode of The Rookie, Mod Squad, or The Streets of San Francisco than it did Gunsmoke.
Gunsmoke: Ma Tennis (1958)
Chester & Nina should get an Emmy Award
Incompetent moronic Chester blows it like usual when he fails to notice a shotgun in the room where Nina confronts her killer son.
Dillon backs down when Nina aims a shotgun at him, cause she is more macho man than he is.
The rest of this episode is all talk and not much else. Aside from big fat Nina making Dillon back down, it is pretty boring. I expected the ending, because whenever Chester is in charge of securing a prisoner, that prisoner either gets away, gets a gun and kills someone, or gets killed.
Father Knows Best (1954)
Elinor Donohue was cute!
Elinor Donohue was my first crush as a kid. This show was filmed about 15 years before I saw the re-runs, and I was greatly disappointed to find out that she was 26 years older than I. Elinor Donohue was the life of the show. She made it shine.
Robert Young as the father was always a positive influence. He mostly said the right thing, and he was very supportive of his children. Equally sweet and warm was Jane Wyatt as the mother.
Perhaps the least favorite character was brother Bud, who was played by Billy Gray. His only claim to fame is this TV series, and after this his career was basically over. He has spent the rest of his life complaining about Father Knows Best, and hating the morals and positive themes of the show. The highlights of Gray's career are that he played the little boy in the 1951 The Day The Earth Stood Still, and he got his arm ripped off by monsters in The Navy vs. The Night Monsters (1966).
The other daughter was played by Lauren Chapin. She married at 16 years of age, became addicted to diet pills, and she became hooked on speed and heroin, and in order to pay for her drug habits became a prostitute. She was arrested and jailed for forgery. After her jail time she went into rehab, got religion and changed her life around.
The best of this family was always Elinor Donohue!
Here Comes Honey Boo Boo (2012)
Little POS
This show is a great advertisement for abortion. It should be used to encourage the State legislatures of every state to allow abortion until the age of 5, so that if anything like Honey-Boo-Boo makes it out of the womb, there can be a post birth abortion to fix that mistake.
Gentleman Jack (2019)
Gender-Neutral Monopoly
If you ever played Monopoly and you wanted the little guy with the top-hat to be a woman, then this is the TV series for you. It is very predictable except for the same-sex nuances to the characters. Just think of any standard TV series about business, cheating, back-stabbing, etc. Instead of a nasty back-stabbing vicious man, you get Gentleman Jack.
Moon Knight (2022)
Silly Wabbit, Trix are for kids!
What a jumbled up bunch of nonsense! Oscar Isaac plays the lead character, Steve/ Marc Spector/ Moon Knight / Egyptian god Konshou, who are all inside the mind of Oscar/Steve. These four characters all want attention at the same time, keeping Oscar/Steve confused all the time.
None of them can become the dominant personality, so Oscar/Steve spends the entire episode jumping back and forth like some kind of roly-poly fish-head. I spent most of this first episode laughing. It was just a gigantic cluster-puck to watch Oscar Isaac trying to act like he is listening to several voices in his head. He does a terrible job. Something from a bad comedy movie. Maybe Jerry Lewis in Dr. Jekyl & Mr. Hyde?
The only bright side was Ethan Hawke as Dr. Arthur Harrow, the villain who wants Moon Knight's sacred scarab.
Village of the Damned (1960)
Arrogant Annoying Kids Needed a Slap
These nasty kids had some incredible arrogance and treated everyone badly. I saw this movie as a kid, and I wanted the villagers to slap those kids whenever they started talking.
Their evil powers did not manifest until their eyes started glowing, so it seemed to me like any smart villager would just slap the daylights out of these kids before they energized! Unfortunately, nobody wanted to hurt the kids, so they were kings for a day.
George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing (2005)
Bitter Miserable Old Jerk
George Carlin's claim to fame was the seven obscene words, and in every show he spends close to ten minutes doing words and rhymes and he thinks he is really hip. I thought it was boring as hell. 50 years of doing words and rhymes gets old, like Carlin.
From there he spent at least thirty minutes talking about how life sucks and all the reasons to commit suicide. I guess that is the best he can do for humor? Talk about washed up!
Doom Patrol: Doom Patrol Patrol (2019)
Whiny Depressing Loser Patrol
The flaccid creeps go visit the original Doom Patrol losers in the nursing home where Chief (Timothy Dalton) has socked them away. They are all really old, but thanks to the drugs that their caretaker Joshua Clay (Alimi Ballard) gives them, they imagine that they are still in the 1950s and that they are teaching at a school of mutants (X-Men?).
Joshua Clay is an interesting character who is not whiny, too bad he is not a recurring character. The original Doom Patrol are three losers who got their butts kicked by Mr. Nobody (created in 1948). Jane only screams and shouts in this episode, and Rita Farr (April Bowlby) spends the entire episode whining and regretting her hurtful acts from 70 years ago.
Nothing happens in this episode, it is totally boring all feelings and discussion. At the end they all go back to the Chief's house, and they are still whining and complaining and depressed.
Highly Questionable (2011)
Gas Bag Comedy Show Cancelled
Over-rated fart-sucking gas bag finally left ESPN in January 2021, and he is busy doing his comedy show outside Sam's Club on Miami Beach. His best boyfriend and pretend Daddy still hanging tight. Greg Cotex of the Miami Herald serenades them with goofy songs about the benefits of NMBLA and the AARP.
Bomani managed to avoid getting sucked in when the show cratered, but Katie Nolan got stuck with clean-up crew duty and she just got fired from ESPN. You gotta know when you are being set-up for failure. Sad but true.
Loki: The Nexus Event (2021)
Resting Witch Face & Loser Loki
What a boring, repetitive, and predictable TV series. Every episode, Variant Witch Face Loki beats up everyone, and outsmarts everyone. Loser Loki is exposed over and over again as an impotent cry-baby seeking validation. Hack Wilson over-states the obvious and makes this show even more ponderously stale than it should be.
Loki: Lamentis (2021)
Horrible Chemistry, No Story
This episode feels like a corporate educational video that you watch about workplace relationships. Loki and Bit Loki announce that they have both been in relationships with either sex during the train ride. Check. They do not have success in relationships. Check. They are going to try and force some kind of relationship or friendship. Duh. Really dumb move, since the two actors have less than zero chemistry between them.
Bit Loki just looks totally lacking in any type of human feelings. She has resting bit face. They got the actress that had the least possible attraction to Tom Hiddleston, and vice versa. I could not even believe they could be friends at any level. At best, if they were co-workers maybe they could tolerate each other.
The actual story in this episode is a total rip-off of any number of Doctor Who TV episodes.
Evil: N Is for Night Terrors (2021)
This Show Blows
Michael Emerson's mousy face is hard to take when this episode is all about close-ups of him. Even Ben the useless tekkie spends every night looking at Emerson, because he put a spy camera in Emerson's apartment. Just watching what may be the most boring TV episode in television history caused me to develop a satanic hemorrhoid in my buttocks. It looks like Michael Emerson.
If you want to waste your life, go out to the sewage treatment plant and watch the sewage get processed. It is better than this garbage.
WandaVision (2021)
Robo-Witch & her imaginary kids
I slogged through all nine episodes, and the only action happens in episode 8 & 9, when Agatha Harkness finally reveals herself and takes on the Scarlet Witch.
To say that Scarlet is psycho is an under-statement. She takes over a town and invades the minds of about a thousand people for a year. Basically the entire town are her prisoners. Personally she deserves the death penalty for taking a year from the lives of families and their kids.
In the meantime she creates imaginary kids and rebuilds The Vision from scrap and her magic. The twist comes in the last episode where there is a surprise reveal about The Vision. Overall this story could have been told in a two hour movie. The incredibly boring waste of time that was the first seven episodes borders on inhumane. I certainly will never watch this garbage again.