Change Your Image
kkachat
Reviews
Sour Grapes (2016)
Almost a victimless crime.
It's hard to feel sorry for these people. Every wine tastes like floor cleaner. Wine is one of the worst tasting alcohols there is. They talk about having a great palette but I imagine if you love wine so much that your tastebuds must barely work at all. And then you have people raving about how great it tastes and paying insane prices for pretty much the same crap that is chemically identical to what you get for thirty bucks a bottle at the liquor store. I've never heard anybody actually say that excessive age actually makes the wine taste better. It would be kind of like saying "tobacco is just better when you roll it up and smoke it in a Monét painting." And then just imagine what good all that money could do for other people in the world, in terms of improving their lives. It seems like it would be fairly easy crime to commit and when you think about how many poor people are sitting around with nothing to do when they could be filling up old bottles with liquor and aging paper and making homemade glue. Why not if you can get away with it?
Haggard (2003)
The acting in particular is spectacularly bad.
Somebody probably should have told the writer that he's not nearly as funny as he thinks he is... or maybe lay off the drugs for a while. They could use this in acting school to teach what not to do. This movie is might be worse than the piece of crap ICP made. (Big Money Hustlas.)
Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga (2020)
To me this would make a lot more sense if...
...Will Farrell's character was played by a 25 year old. I'm supposed to believe that that jerky father let his son live with him for 30+ years as an adult and is just getting around to kicking him out now??? And I'm supposed to believe that that pretty woman was trying to hump him for 30-40+ years after he became sexually mature and he just decided to remain a virgin all that time?!?! I'm straight and in love with this sexy teenager who's head over heels for me but maybe she'll be hotter in her 50's. Preposterous. Now if Will was supposed to be playing somebody much younger then maybe they could have slighted that to the audience somehow... because DUDE, your face looks old. Old and saggy and super wrinkly. All around a pretty good movie with some pretty decent songs. Not really all that rewatchable though.
But I'm a Cheerleader (1999)
Very funny...
...but the horrible soundtrack seriously cuts down on the rewatchability. I understand the movie is about a lesbian so you need to get lesbian music... but why can't you get somebody good? Horrible singing, horrible playing. These bands make The Archies sound good.
Astérix & Obélix contre César (1999)
Given Asterix's height in the comics...
...wouldn't it have made more sense to cast him with a little person actor? Couldn't be that hard to find a little person who looks kind of like Asterix and can act. He's just like 3 times taller than he's supposed to be. I didn't lower my stars because of that or anything I just found this show not very entertaining. And the fight scenes could have used some touching up with computer to make them seem more comically Asterix-like.
The Do-Over (2016)
I don't even feel like I'm underrating this.
Usually Adam Sandler movies are a little bit funny. I even thought Lil Nicky was underrated. This isn't funny AT ALL. This movie is extremely boring. I think most people would feel the urge to just turn it off around the time they go to his mother's house. Forget about action, Adam Sandler... for some reason it's just soooo boring when you do it.
I Love You Phillip Morris (2009)
I went in thinking this was a comedy.
Jim Carrey playing a southern gay con man? What a hilarious premise. I thought. Turns out it's hardly funny at all. Just another boring movie that tries to be romantic and touching. Bad move! Of course you're not going to make a good romantic film with Jim Carrey and Ewan McGreggor. Are these two lovers even especially in love or watchable at all? Ewan's sappy tears were nauseating. I didn't really buy it. Is any average couple's private business enough for some people? This movie has me convinced that Jim Carrey could play any kind of creep, or even a sociopath. But he would be my last choice for a romantic lead.