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Anaconda (1997)
7/10 may be generous but 4.9/10 is wild
Seriously!? 4.9/10!? What's so bad about it? Honestly, what did you expect; Jaws? I've got news for you, nothing will ever be like Jaws. I in no way hold any creature feature to the standard of Jaws because frankly, it isn't fair. Also, this movie isn't trying to be Jaws. I'm honestly tired of people just comparing every creature feature film made since Jaws to Jaws. Jaws is a character story about redemption in a situation of Man vs. Nature. Anaconda is just about a Snake. It's very simple; Snake kill human, human try kill snake. It was entertaining, and I mean really fun. I thoroughly enjoyed myself watching this movie; and not because it's so bad its funny. It's just simply a fun movie. Does the snake maybe do some unrealistic things? Maybe, I'm not an expert on snakes, but at the end of the day, who really cares? The things the snake does aren't that far fetched.
I wen't into this movie excpecting a so bad it's good kind of thing but I was decently suprised that the movie was actually pretty well thought out. The plot is actually something that I can tell the writers put some effort into. Jon Voight's character has some pretty interesting aspects and the script does a good job building mystery with him. On that note; John Voight does a great job in this movie, like really very good. The acting from everybody may not have been Oscar worthy but for a movie of this caliber, I thought the cast (especially John Voight) did a fine job.
All in all, this movie delivered thrills, some unexpected intrigue, and above all, fun. It's a fun movie. It's not long. You'll enjoy yourself for 90 minutes. Yes, there may be one or two unrealistic parts, but it wasn't to a degree that took away from my enjoyment. If anything those parts add to the enjoyment. I could understand that this may not be a movie for everybody. But if you generally like creature features, this is a classic.
Secret Invasion: Resurrection (2023)
Was the whole show AI generated??
I just found out that the extremely weird opening title sequence to this show was AI generated. It begs the question- was the show itself AI generated? It really seems so because this is the most generic, uninteresting, un-thrilling thing I've seen from Marvel in a while. There's a scene in this episode where a public place is blown up and I felt nothing. It's not because I'm a cold cynical man, it's because the show genuinely did not make me care. The music was atrocious and didn't help build tension, the actors all seem like they'd rather not be there and the script tries so hard to be mature and "smart" but fails in the most basic way: keeping me interested. Why do you keep telling me that Nick Fury was "changed" from the blip when he just acts like regular Nick Fury. The only difference to his character is that he has a limp, an old man beard, and no eyepatch, yet the characters keep saying that he's "changed." Also, on that note: I don't want to see a Nick Fury who's out of his prime. I want to see Nick Fury. You wan't to make a Logan story line out of him fine, but give us a better reason for him being out of his prime than "the blip changed him." Did the blip age him??? It didn't seem to age anyone else. Honestly, I would forgive this plot point if the rest of the show was good, but so far, it's not, it's just adding on to my distaste for it. I don't want to see an old man just kind of being cool. I want to see Nick Fury being NICK FURY!
I have so many questions: Why does Fury have a limp? Why wasn't Fury and Captain Overpowered able to find the Skrulls a new home when there are hundreds of inhabitable planets in the MCU galaxy? Why does Nick Fury's friend think the best way to get in touch with him is to kidnap him? She says it was to test him to see if he was on his game, but what if he was on his game? What if he killed the men she sent? Then she wouldn't have been able to have that really boring conversation with him (oh no). Why doesn't the American government know where abandoned Russian Nuclear sites are when we are clearly scientifically advanced enough to be building a defense system in the atmosphere (something Fury had been working on). How does the Skrull transformation work? One Skrull changes form multiple times within a sequence and changes not only skin, but clothing within seconds. However, when another Skrull dies, the only thing that changes is skin, not clothing.
The very opening of the show was fine; one pretty cool shot involving automatic lights on a flight of stairs. Other than that, it doesn't make sense. It's not suspenseful. It's not exciting. I honestly feel like Disney was in a time crunch to make this show and just asked Chat GPT to write it a thriller script about the Skrulls and Fury.