kdcrowley-28003 Reviews

Sisu (2022)

Jalmari is like Tarantino, without talent

[2/10 · 13 January 2024]

If you've ever wondered what a Tarantino film would look like without artistic talent, this is it. Gratuitous violence. Absurd suspension of physics. Ridiculous plot twists. Yes, yes Tarantino does all that but he pulls it off.

Mercifully there is next to no dialogue. Can't imagine what this hack write/director would have done with dialogue.

It boggles my mind that someone, some someones most likely, green lighted this tripe. Let's hope no one ever does it again.

I'd like to say this film has no redeeming qualities, but I did like the dog. The dog gets a 10. At moments, I thought sure the dog would get whacked. Mercifully no. So there, at least this hack had the good sense not to kill the dog.

Maestro (2023)

Vanity project done in vain

[1/10 · 30 December 2023]

Nothing pains me more, when it comes to film, than a great story, a story worth telling, done poorly through bad writing or inept direction. This film manages to do both. We have only one person to blame. Mr. Cooper, please Please PLEASE stick to acting, which even that in this flic was questionable. (Perhaps you were distracted by the lack of a script and longing for better direction.)

Vanity projects such as this nearly always crash in flames. Remember Icarus.

Hopefully Mr. Cooper will learn the lesson and return to what he does so well, act in well written, well directed movies. One can only hope.

Train to Busan (2016)

Brilliant! And not just for a zombie movie.

[9/10 · 8 December 2023]

Yup, it's a zombie movie.

Really it's so much more. When was the last time a zombie movie made you cry? This one probably will.

The performances are compelling, most especially that of the little girl. She is completely captivating.

Then too there's the writing. Rarely am I ever surprised by a plot twist. Never ever am I surprised by a zombie movie. This one took me by surprise over and over right up to the final scene.

Then there's the direction. Scene after scene of cinematic glory. Really! I was blown away by the realism and humanity and beauty of the film. All that and it's a zombie movie. Imagine how hard it is to lull that off.

I gave this film a 9 but expect in future, after it's become a classic, I will need to elevate it to a 10.

Fargo (2014–2024)

Season Five - Buried Alive

[1/10 · 23 November 2023]

WTF is this? Ineptly stealing iconic scenes from the original classic film. Some might call it homage. It's garbage.

Watching this makes me wish the writers had stayed on strike, indefinitely. That's the thing. This generation of writers and directors and producers are, as a cohort, lame, i.e. Lacking talent. Or, as I heard one Wall Street pundit explain, there's only so much talent to go around and it's spread very thin across all the media. That might just explain it. With all the outlets screaming for content, they are inclined to produce and present all sorts of crap. It's a veritable crapeteria.

Then there's the barrage of ads every few minutes on FX. I record and zip. Even so it's disruptive. Maybe try the Peacock model. Gimme ads up front then STFU.

Navajo Police: Class 57 (2023– )

Horrific

[1/10 · 20 October 2023]

This may be the best anti recruiting film ever made. The abusive, militaristic approach of the lead trainer is disgusting to behold. (And they wonder why so many recruits drop out.). Perhaps the instructor just doesn't know any better having been warped and disfigured by his own training. Or perhaps he's just a frustrated Marine Corp drill instructor wannabe. He not only should not be allowed near recruits, he should not be allowed to wear a badge.

What you get when you prepare police officers to go into service as though they are entering a war zone, is a war zone mentality. Every good cop I've ever known, knows that empathy, compassion and communication skills are at the heart of day to day policing.

I expect some viewers will get off on the toxic masculinity of this program. As for me, I didn't make it past the first episode.

Carefree (1938)

Delightfully surprised

[8/10 · 18 October 2023]

I've been a big fan of Fred Astaire most my life. When he dances, his smooth, seemingly effortless movements are captivating. He is the epitome of elegance.

Here's the surprise. While I've always thought Ginger Rogers his perfect dance partner, it wasn't until seeing this film, which I am just now watching for the first time, that truly appreciated her unique talent.

She sings and dances and regales us with her impeccable delivery of comedic lines. I had no idea she was so funny. Really, she steals every scene. The plot is absurd, of course. Weren't they mostly? She makes it work. She is the star of this film.

America Outdoors with Baratunde Thurston (2022– )

Please please stop it!

[1/10 · 18 September 2023]

Just watching PBS, America Outdoors w Baratunde Thurston. This episode started out fine. Bush pilot. Turquoise water. Then a third of the way in it featured a Biking POC group. This segued to a Arkansas town that in 1919 perpetrated a horrific massacre of black folk.

I was tuning in to watch a nature show. This kind of subterfuge feeds the right. Everything cannot be about race. The strategic stupidity of these efforts is astounding, disturbing and disheartening. Stop shoving ideologies in peoples faces. Stop focusing on the past. Stop making it an us vs. Them issue. How's about we just be humans for a while with common interests like say, nature?

I know from a great deal of experience working on DEI, the more you focus on the differences the more bias you create. Please, please stop it.

Get Shorty (1995)

Spaghetti and meatballs

[8/10 · 13 July 2023]

This film is like spaghetti and meatballs. As a kid, Thursdays were spaghetti and meatballs night. I still make it at least once a month. I've had it, on occasion, at fancy restaurants. It tasted just like spaghetti and meatballs, like home.

Reliable. Satisfying. Filling. Comforting. A bit spicy. I happen to like a spicy a meatball.

I'll bet I've seen this film fifty times, not as often as I've eaten spaghetti and meatballs, but still a lot. I traveled a great deal in the 90s. This film, on DVD, went with me everywhere. On the plane or in some hotel, I could pop it in to my laptop and feel right at home.

I'm watching it again right now, feeling right at home. Like spaghetti and meatballs, it's a staple, a dish I don't think I'll ever stop enjoying no matter how many times I've eaten it.

A Man Called Otto (2022)

Been yearning for a film like this...

[9/10 · 20 March 2023]

I'd nearly given up hope that there are still filmmakers out there capable of a film like this. What a relief!

As to the overly critical critics who just didn't get it, I wish for you the kind of loss that devastates, leaving you a heap, barely able to breathe. I wish this not as a curse but as a blessing. It is the kind of blessing that can tear you down, tear you apart, then somehow build you back up, put you back together, better than before. For if you knew this kind of loss, this film would make sense to you, would touch you, would lift you up and inspire. Please come back again when you're more mature, more seasoned, more wise. Until then, just a suggestion, STFU.

For those of you who get this movie, my heart goes out to you. We are, I'll bet, kindred spirits. Thank you for your courage and your wisdom. Life, as we so well know, is devastating and beautiful, often all at the same time.

Keep being real in your grief and your glory.

Oh, and about the movie: It was good to the last (tear) drop.

Midsommar (2019)

FAST FORWARD

[2/10 · 15 March 2023]

This movie was an inspiration! I learned a whole new viewing technique. Movies like this one, with utterly predictable plots, can be recorded and then viewed mostly in fast forward. It's a variation on the long lauded technique of watching with the sound off, only better.

There's no need to wade through the belabored dialogue and the just going through the motions performances. A great teacher once taught me it's more important what you leave out than what you put in. Midsommar is 2 1/2 hours long. With my approach you can leave most of it out - since the writer/director didn't have the artist sense to do so. I made it through this in less than an hour including the time to write this.

You will, of course, be able to stop FF to watch the shockingly bloody scenes in their entirety, assuming that's what you came to see. There's also some creepy sex scenes guaranteed to leave you limp and lifeless.

I have ranted here from time to time about the poor quality of American film making in recent years. I stand corrected. This films shows that terrible films are being written and produced in Scandinavia as well.

This is intended to be a horror film.

It accomplishes one thing, it is truly horrible.

Catherine Called Birdy (2022)

Made it 17:43 into the film when nausea overcame me

[2/10 · 12 March 2023]

Lena Dunham's take on British humor is labored, trite, trivial, and utterly lacking in the most essential element, humor. My deep admiration for Bella Ramsey, and many of the others players, could not forestall my dislike of this film.

Sorry I gotta go with my gut, and my gut churned until I could not but turn away.

The casting is wonderful. The direction and the writing, the writing, the writing, that gawd-awful writing, ruined a splendid tale and wasted a trove of talented performers.

Full disclosure: I have never been a fan of Lena Dunham in any of her ventures. Perhaps I'm just not her target audience.

Perhaps the film improved later in the script. I will never know.

Fall (I) (2022)

Falls...short

[4/10 · 22 February 2023]

This is a pretty novel idea. Who knew TV towers are so tall. (Apparently the tallest US tower being in North Dakota. So ND has that to brag about).

The film has plenty of harrowing moments. Have you ever had a chance to ride a roller coaster over and over, like twenty times in a row? I have. The first five rides are thrilling. The next five less so. By the third set you're going "look ma no hands!" By the fourth you're tempted to stand for the ride. As BB once said, "The thrill is gone." This film is like that. Half way through, the thrill was gone.

Here's my dark confession. I kinda didn't care about the characters, and in an essentially two character script caring about the characters is pretty important. My darker confession is that I found myself at times routing for the Shiloh character to fall. (She's not bad, she's just written that way.). Actually, the acting is pretty poor as well. Clearly Virginia Gardner has the athleticism for the role, just not the acting chops.

In short, this is a pretty flawed film.

Watch Free Solo instead. It's the real deal.

She Said (2022)

See this movie!

[9/10 · 5 February 2023]

I complain a lot about the crap being produced as film today. I love film so the lack of well-written, well-produced, well-directed and well-acted film has saddened and frustrated me.

This film serves my words up as a cold plate of crow.

This movie proves absolutely great films can are are being made.

The content is timely and important. The writing brave, compassionate and unflinching. The production, direction and performances are so compelling I want to broadcast to the world: See this movie!

This film is riveting, provocative, evocative, and relevant. It is a truly great film.

It is also, at times, hard to watch. We are talking about monstrous behavior.

Nonetheless...

Please see it.

Please invite others to see it.

See it because, from the film: "...this is bigger than Weinstein. This is about the system protecting abusers."

A Love Song (2022)

Sweet

[8/10 · 10 January 2023]

It's a 7 but it gets a bonus point for just being so damned sweet. The writing is dear. The direction tender without becoming syrupy. The acting is heartfelt perfection.

Elders reunite with all the same adolescent awkwardness of their youth. Time may have weathered bodies but their hearts are fresh as spring.

She says, "Come inside." So we get to go, go inside lives lived. Hearts beating. People gently reconnecting.

It's playful and tender and quiet and touching and beautiful in ways I did not expect.

I love a good story well-told. This is a good slice of life story told so well it captures the exquisite joy and sorrow, expectation and disappointment, truth and beauty, of life.

The Menu (2022)

Loved Hated Loved Hated Loved

[8/10 · 8 January 2023]

I loved then hated then loved then hated this magnificent film.

Each course of The Menu took me to a new place. Feelings of sympathy and dread, admiration and disgust, hope and dismay stalked me as we moved from course to course.

I recognized myself. I saw friends and foes represented throughout the film.

The casting is spot on. The acting sublime. The writing torturously exquisite. The direction diabolically divine.

I watch a lot of movies. I'm rarely surprised. This flick inflicted one surprise after another.

And as for subtext, The Menu is a seven layer cake. Sweet. Savory. Salty. Subtle. Sickly sweet. It pushed all my buttons. Love. Hate. Fear. Longing. Indigestion.

I'm spent.

Check please...

P. S. As it usually does, dessert left me unimpressed with a mild sugar high.

Nope (2022)

Was this supposed to be a comedy?

[4/10 · 3 January 2023]

I laughed and laughed at the ineptitude. That is until I just plain got frustrated. The failure to, even for a moment, create suspense. And the flaming stereotype of the female lead.

It was like watching old episodes of Sanford and Son turned into Close Encounters of the Sanford and Son Kind meets Cowboys vs. Aliens.

The big finish with the "Sergio Leone" music. OMG.

The best part is the name, Nope.

Kept thinking, why is this called "Nope."

Now, sitting here stunned by just how bad this movie is, I get it.

Nope!

Should you watch this film?

Nope!

Should the film have even been made?

Nope!

In conclusion, yup, Nope it's not a very good film.

Max Steiner: Maestro of Movie Music (2019)

LoVe and HaTe

[1/10 · 8 December 2022]

I love the work of Max Steiner. And hate this film.

I love documentaries. And hate this film.

I swear I've not seen any documentary this bad since grade school some fifty years ago. Remember the one about the clever stoat? This is worse.

Check out the credits. Looks like nepotism run a-mock. Clearly they wasted their time on this. Let's hope they also only wasted their own money. Let's hope no poor, no doubt poorer now, investors were involved.

Perhaps this is just a vanity piece financed and produced by a family of over-resourced under-talented film makers. From the writing to the direction to the whining narration (really the narrator is the very worst part) this film is just plain terrible.

It utterly fails to do justice to the wonderful career of Max Steiner.

P. S. I notice it got very few but very high ratings here on IMDB. I suspect further nepotism.

Let the Right One In (2022)

Unfulfilled Promise

[3/10 · 30 November 2022]

This had so much promise. The premise is tantalizing. The young actors are superb. Alas, the writing and direction are often formulaic, predictable and just plain lame. The key to a suspense thriller is the thrill of suspense. When you already know what's going to happen because you've seen it all before, there is no suspense. There is no thrill. I just finished the last episode, episode 8, the last episode for me that is. I'm done. So to the director and the writer of episode 8, thanks for making it painfully plain. You and the show are a disappointment. Perhaps you can learn from your failure. Failure often is the best teacher. Better luck next time.

The Lion in Winter (1968)

"Well, what family doesn't have its ups and downs "

[9/10 · 24 July 2022]

This is one of the most brilliantly written screenplays. It is full of intrigue and wit and gravitas and humor and despair and resolve.

It is equally well acted and directed.

It is, in short, a work of art!

The Man Who Fell to Earth (2022)

Breakthrough programming

[6/10 · 23 July 2022]

Really enjoying The Man Who Fell to Earth. Most of the lead characters are black and none of it is about them being black. Race is incidental. Love this! When race is truly incidental then there is just being. Just being human. One race. The human race.

Night Sky (2022)

BORING

[5/10 · 20 July 2022]

Spacek and Simmons are marvelous! Everything else about the show is tedious. The plot meanders. The remaining cast is not ready for prime time.

Really disappointing. Nothing worse than a sci fi mystery thriller than one without thrills.

Leave No Trace (2018)

Right and True

[9/10 · 9 July 2022]

Everything about this film felt right and true. The writing, direction, casting and superb performances all came together to take us on a journey, a journey that moves and inspires. In less than 2 hours I came to truly care about these people. I know no higher praise.

Against the Ice (2022)

Not so hot

[4/10 · 20 June 2022]

A really good story that just failed to engage emotionally. It had all the elements of Castaway with none of the heart. Movies that fail to move are a terrible waste.

Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore (2022)

Almost watchable

[4/10 · 19 June 2022]

I kinda liked the story. The production, effects, direction, all worked. But something was off, as it has been in the previous Fantastic Beasts. Then it hit me. So obvious once you see it. Eddie Redmayne ruins every scene he's in. He is sniveling creepily. Really. Really. He'd be much better cast as Renfield in Dracula.

Hustle (2022)

A hidden gem the hopefully won't stay hidden

[8/10 · 12 June 2022]

This is the Adam Sandler I love. The actor with depth. The guy who makes you laugh and makes you care. Not the goofball. The guy from movies like Spanglish.

Also, the story told, the direction, the other performances, all really excellent.