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Reviews
Feast of the Seven Fishes (2019)
This fealt real!
Just a disclaimer: I'm not Italian. I'm not American. I don't have a strong connection with my cousins and my family doesn't have big holiday reunions.
Yet for me this movie fealt real. The character introduction is so organic to the story it felt like someone walking me around introducing me to his kins. The love story also fits perfectly into the holiday plot, not dominating the script just being a cherry on top of a family story. Every dialogue just seems natural.
I'm willing to say this is the best Christmas movie I've seen in years. Hell, one of the best movies I've seen lately. This flick needs more recognition.
The acting is great. The dialogues are great. At first you can get lost at the family connections - but then you just stop caring and enjoy the show.
Definettly worth watching more then once.
The Christmas Cottage (2017)
Noone cared enough...
I get the feeling that noone cared enough about this movie to make it stand out in a tinyest bit.
The script is a run of the mill Christmas themed romantic movie. I refuse to call it a comedy cause it doesn't have a single scene that would make you laugh. The main characters are unoriginal and blend. The acting is mediocre. The plot is predictable. The background characters are just there, the groom has like 5 lines in a movie that revolves around his wedding. The other couple that hangs out with the bride, groom and the main characters doesn't say a single word and noone says a word to them.
Also the locations seem really empty. The lighting of the tree which is supposed to be a big deal for the town has like 20 people around. The Christmas fare is the same. Talking about budget cuts.
You can give it a try, but I guess you won't remember it in about 10 minutes.
Christmas Solo (2017)
I expected worse
The credits section at the beginning looked like the tacky flower pictures my 70yo mom posts on Facebook. I didn't expect much after that - but the movie managed to surprise me im a good way.
You can clearly see it had low budget. It looks like a reality TV episode. Not enough extras on the set. And some od the acting is beyond cheesy (the scene where MJ sneaks up to Charlotte...).
MJ character acts like she is 5. And then from angsty teen she just jumps to being the sweet girl in one scene with mandatory makeup style change to indicate she's a good one now. The parents fall for each other a bit too quickly for credibility. And all the usual romcom BS.
The plot is mostly predictable as hell, but it's a Christmas romcom, it's enough if it entertains me. And it did.
The final song scene is too perfect for an unrehersed performance, but OK, for this kind of movie let's roll with it.
The other thing is that for comedy it is not funny at all. What made me laugh at the end was that the song they played on end credits was not long enough for them to end, so instead of playing another song there was just dead silence.
Finding Christmas (2013)
OK for a hollyday romcom
Let's get one thing clear: when I'm watching a Christmas romantic comedy I don't expect a cinematic masterpiece, just entertainment.
And in that category the movie delivers.
It's the little details that bug me: the girl fixes the gas valve and examines a horse wearing fancy red coat with a white scarf. A guy picks up a guitar and starts playing without checking if it's tuned. Some extras that awkwardly just stand in the scene without saying a word (like the guy holding the said horse). Apparently just 2 people living in an entire building... etc. Just a few tweaks would make this a lot more realistic.
Overall - not bad for what it is. Acting is OK, the plot is predictable and not original but pleasant. Just pure holiday fun if you don't nitpick too much.
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016)
Silly yet entertaining
First off - I'm not a Pride & Prejudice fan. The 2005 film wore me down after about half an hour. But this take I find entertaining. Furthermore - some scenes are so perfect with zombies that I wonder, how would they work without them.
This is not your typical comedy slasher. It is not a "serious" zombie horror movie. It is comedic enough to provide entertainment where pure Jane Austin adaptation made me fall fast asleep.
On the other hand - it is not a movie I'll get back into. It has some extremely silly scenes. The final fight is mediocre. The mother character is just annoying, but I guess that's Jane Austin's fault. Lena Headly has too few scenes in this flick, so has Charles Dance.
So to sum it up: the zombie add on makes this story watchable & entertaining, I'll take this version over 2005 take any day of the week. But it is no masterpiece, not even a flick worth a rewatch.
Eye of the Beholder (1999)
I forgot it for a reason
I remembered seeing this movie back in the day just by it's title. Now after rewatching it 20 years later I know why.
This is one of these movies that try to appear to be smart, deep and meeningfull, but in fact are just boring and bad.
And the saddest thing is I see a potential in it. A wasted potential. The plot would be interesting if it was layed out in a way that would make me care.