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Reviews
Cowboys & Aliens (2011)
"B movie" script with A list actors
I really wanted to like this movie. As a fan of "Army of Darkness", the idea of fighting otherworldly invaders with common household items is a recipe for fun. This movie tries to be serious and epic with a low budget script. Craig, Ford, and Rockwell are wasted on what seems to be a script written as a high school project.
They should've just embraced the B movie script. Once you watch this movie, you'll realize how badly it needs to open with Bruce Campbell falling out of the sky with his chainsaw hand and trusted Oldsmobile. It's begging for "listen up you primitive screwheads".
And that, my friends, is the difference between a forgotten Hollywood bomb and a cult classic.
Halloween Ends (2022)
Not THAT bad
I read the disappointing reviews before we headed to the theater, so I had a low expectation of Ends. Honestly, I don't think it was as bad as a lot of the reviews made it out to be.
We all know Blumhouse had a 3 movie deal. We all know this is the last movie in that deal. The name even says Halloween ENDS. So, naturally, our minds are thinking of how it's going to "end".
Instead of thinking this script was stupid, I thought it was clever. The script gives your mind several rabbit holes to run down as you try to figure out how Halloween Ends. Some have said it's unrealistic to see some of the things that happened in this movie. Does anyone think Michael Myers still being alive after all that's happened to him is believable? Of course not. So why move the goalposts on this movie?
Is this the Halloween Ends movie I would've made? Not at all. But it makes a decent bookend to the Blumhouse Canon of H1, H 2018, Kills, and now Ends.
No Way Out (2020)
Indie movies don't HAVE to suck
But this one definitely does. There is nothing redeeming about it at all. The script is a total train wreck - the characters do things with no explanation that make zero sense. There's a pathetic attempt at a backstory that leaves you confused. Of course there are plot holes, but even without those, it's still a confusing mess. Overall, the concept had promise if a third grade class hadn't written the script.
As others have said, the sound is horrendous. You can't hear half the dialogue, so we did a lot of pause/rewind/play. The acting is honestly fine for a movie filmed on an iPhone.
The one, and only one, good thing was seeing some Alaskan landscape.
Last Seen Alive (2022)
Disappointing
The story of a beta risking his life for the woman that cheated on him. Not your typical Gerard Butler role. Yeah he kicks some bad guy ass, but he's totally whipped by his cheating wife. Embarrassing.
Black Friday (2021)
Not the Bruce Campbell movie you're looking for
Is this a Bruce Campbell-esque movie? Yes.
Is it low budget, cheesy, funny? Yes.
But if you're looking for "Ash" to battle the aliens, you'll be very disappointed. We watched it based on a review that said it was everything a Bruce Campbell fan wanted.
It's not, at least not this Bruce fan. Campbell's character is nothing like Ash. Very disappointing.
Redeeming Love (2022)
A Guy's Review - 50 Shades of Hypocrisy
A went to this movie with my wife because she absolutely loves the book. My take is going to be simple. If you're afraid that you're going to see a "Christian" movie, fear not. This isn't one. If you're wanting to see a "Christian" movie, you'll be disappointed. And don't bring your adolescent kids as the sex and near-nudity are ridiculous and gratuitous.
I'm confused by the double standards of some folks. Let's be honest, this movie is basically a "Christian" version of Pretty Woman. I saw WAY more skin and sex in the Christian version than in Pretty Woman. Clever prop placement (barely) covered the front lower region and long hair covered the upper region of a totally nude female. We saw her rear end. We saw side boob. It was ridiculous. And there was a relatively intense sex scene from a movement/facial expression standpoint.
It's embarrassing that the Christian mommy porn crowd is giving this 10s. Stop being hypocrites and call it what it is. It's not a Christian movie and it's not pleasing or honoring to God.
Aside from that, the costumes are good. The acting is average. The film labors on and on to fill its 2.5 hour window. It could've been done in a lot less time. But at least there's the one great scene where they lynch the child molester.
Deep Blue Sea 3 (2020)
I created an account just to leave this movie 1 star
I can't remember the last time I saw a worse movie. Characters have zero arc. Everything is flat and shallow with the exception of a cheap heartstring pull. Storyline is worse than a cable network movie. Lots of climate change propaganda and hypocrisy. I wasted $4 so you don't have to. Throw $4 out the window of your car. It's a better investment than renting this movie.