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KillerWorkout
Reviews
Head of the Family (1996)
"A big turd in a small toilet."
That's a line from the movie, and that's what it is. This movie was wacked out from the start. The Stackpool quadruplets each have an odd abnormality. There's Wheeler, whose sense of smell, sound, and sight are incredibly enhanced. Otis has the strength of ten men, Ernestina (?) has, well, some special physical talents, and Myron is a giant head with a tiny body. Myron has cleverly dubbed himself "head of the family" because his special talent is an infinite intellect and he has the power to telepathically control the other 3. What a privilege. This is most definitely one of the oddest films I have ever seen. The southern one-liners are all over the place, and there isn't enough horror to classify this as a horror movie. However, the scene where Myron's big nasty 3 foot tongue slobbers all over Jacqueline Lovell's breast was rather horrifying. While this film was definitely , well, different, I must admit I got some enjoyment out of it.
Bloody Murder (2000)
Friday the 13th -- I mean, Bloody Murder
This atrocious piece of cinema could not rip off Friday the 13th any more if it tried. Here's the premise: Counselor's at a camp are picked off by a hockey-masked killer who may be the legendary Trevor Moorehouse (not to be confused with Jason Voorhies). For the budget this film appeared to be made on, there's an odd lack of gore, no shock value, and acting that makes Elizabeth Berkley look like Michelle Pfeiffer. This film is #2 on my worst horror movie list, for two reasons. 1, because nothing is worse than Killer Workout, and 2, because I don't quite classify Manos: The Hands of Fate as a horror movie. However, this film is worth seeing just to see the character of Julie walk. She looks like she's a power walker who has to go the bathroom really badly. This one gets a 0.1.
Killer Workout (1987)
I loved this movie
This movie is without a doubt the worst horror movie I've ever seen. And that's saying a lot, considering I've seen such stinkers like Demon of Paradise, Lovers' Lane, and Bloody Murder (which is a close second). However, I love bad horror movies, and as you can tell from my username, this one really sticks out. At times there's nothing more entertaining than a poorly made slasher flick. As for this film, the opening scene in which a woman gets fried in a tanning booth appears to have no bearing on the film whatsoever, especially since the movie fails to tell you that the event happened 2 years prior to the rest of the film. The acting is nonexistent, and most of the camera shot are of women's areas shrink wrapped in spandex. The policeman was the most stone-faced, monotone actor I've ever seen. The best/worst part of this movie, however, has to be the murder weapon. A giant safety pin?! What were they thinking? Who's the killer? A disgruntled "Huggies" employee? I'd have to give this movie an overall zero, but darned if I didn't have a blast watching it