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Reviews
Great Great Great (2017)
Great Great Great is Not Not Not
Long boring scenes with no dialogue. When there is, it's poorly written and executed. Character development is non-existent. And where do they find these cheesy actors? Just another example of bad Canadian film trying desperately to be something real and comes off being desperately phoney. I don't know what movie the other reviewers were watching but it can't be this one. Don't waste your time.
Never Rarely Sometimes Always (2020)
Garbage. Just garbage.
Give a nine year old a camera and get a 10 year old to write a script and you have a good chance of producing a better result than this sorry excuse for a movie. Unbelievable.
Cliffhanger (1993)
Pretty good but...
When the rope snaps the 3 cases drop still connected together. The shot shows them dropping towards a slope with trees (below the tree line). But the story continues with Tucker and Walker climbing rock faces with no trees visible( way above the tree line). But the big question is how did one of the cases end up so far away on a different mountain?
Rule of 3 (2020)
Unbelievable
Bad script, bad acting and overall poor quality storytelling. It tries too hard to be thriller and ends up falling flat on its face. Hard to believe anyone could be entertained by this flop. Don't waste your time.
Wet Bum (2014)
Don't bother
If you were hoping that this might finally be the movie that breaks the mould of poorly made a Canadian movies, it's not. It's just another overly artsy, poorly acted, poorly written example of movies made in Toronto for the tiny community of film makers who just don't get it. The rest of Canada doesn't want this kind of self indulgent drivel. Just another excuse to pay lousy film makers for substandard work. When will we get something that's truly entertaining?
Keyhole (2011)
OMG
Do not bother with this film. It looks like an art school editing project. Bad dialogue, silly camerawork, just plain bad production values. Good actors trying to save a lousy script. It's trying to be ERASERHEAD without the character. Goofy special effects and crumby sets. It's like they gave a bunch of children cameras but no idea what the story is about. BTW, shooting in B/W doesn't automatically make it "artistic".
In short - OUCH! What a waste of time.
Brightburn (2019)
Don't waste your time
Brian and Mark Gunn owe me an apology for wasting my time. This was such a bad movie I don't know where to start. Perhaps it's best to leave it at that. Critqueing this disaster gives it validation it doesn't deserve. Go clip you toenails or clean out the p-trap in your bathroom. Much more satisfying.
Ally Was Screaming (2014)
This was not funny
MikeyB1793 nailed it. Unrealistic dialogue, poorly developed characters, sloppy camera work, characteristic gaps in dialogue that seems to be the hallmark of Canadian productions. When will Canadian film makers realize that when you leave film school, your audience is the general public, not your classmates. Stop trying to impress your friends and deliver a product the everyday person can understand without all the artistic fluff.
Easy Land (2019)
Dazed and confused
This film more closely resembles a documentary than a movie. Long drawn out scenes with no dialogue. Dialogue that is poorly written and actors with no talent. It looks like it was shot with a home video camera by someone constantly searching for the subject. Very sloppy.
There is no semblance of set design. Just walk into someone's apartment and start shooting. Poor lighting, poor staging, poor direction. It looks like it was shot with a home video camera. And this annoying background noise that permeates the entire film and punctuates the lack of good sound control.
The characters are poorly developed, as though the director believed the audience would do it instead. Or just understand the angst all Canadians feel.
Canadian film makers are so obsessed with not looking like American made films that they forget that the audience wants to be entertained. Instead they create "art films" with "deep messages". This may work in a film school environment but the general public doesn't want that. They want to relax and enjoy a story that doesn't make them work to understand it.
You'll never hear "box office hit" and Canadian movie in the same sentence and this movie is a perfect example of why. Quit trying to teach us a lesson and gives us a good story without the attitude.
Radio stations don't play experimental music. They play songs that people can sit back and enjoy without having to find some deep meaning. Canadian film makers seem to be dazed by self righteousness and confused about who their audience is. Enough already.
Jean of the Joneses (2016)
Not a comedy
Boring script, poor acting and if this supposed to be a comedy, the director must have hidden it somewhere. Having the actors laugh while carry on mundane conversations isn't funny. I couldn't finish watching it because it got lost about ten minutes in. It came across more like a documentary with unbelievable characters and situations. Definitely not a comedy.
Astronaut (2019)
Astronaut
Another example of a typical Canadian movie. Too much art and not enough entertainment. Canadian films suffer from directors and writers who believe that people will watch their movies out of loyalty to Canadian film makers.
Unbearably long sequences with mournful music in the background, static shots of talentless actors staring into the distance with no dialogue. Even a talented actor like Richard Dreyfuss can't save this movie from the plodding, slow moving, badly written efforts of the production team..
An example is the nursing home staff. Every time Angus' family mentions he doesn't do something at the time the Nursing home specifies they answer back with "He will". They're portrayed as brainless robots who lack any emotion or concern for their patient. So cliche
And that's how the entire movie goes. No creativity from the writer or director. It doesn't cater to the viewer, it panders to the pretentious self-absorbed art community in downtown Toronto. The rest of the world be damned.
The problem is that Canadian content rules dictate that Canadian cable providers must program a certain percentage of government approved films and music. This means that it doesn't matter the whether content is entertaining as long as it meets the prescribed Canadian content standards. It's a quota system. I challenge anyone to name their favorite Canadian movie or actor/actress. You're likely to get a blank stare and no answer.
So here you have a potentially good story compromised by over regulation and government interference. This will continue until Canadian film makers stop taking handouts from government agencies and learn to rely on box office revenue. I believe that will break the curse of the Canadian content rules give Viewers something truly engaging and entertaining.