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1) Offensive. Harm should be delivered to the filmmakers
2) Film has no redeeming value.
3) Completely forgettable.
4) I can see where it's going, but no.
5) Others may like it, but it didn't work for me.
6) Bland. Could have been better, but pleasing.
7) There were a few interesting parts
8) Great film. Thoroughly enjoyed.
9) A must-see, making life more complete
10) Withstands time. An artistic achievement that transcends.
Ratings
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Reviews
Peter Rabbit (2018)
I laughed until soda came out my nose
I went into Peter Rabbit expecting to take a nap. Instead, I laughed until soda came out my nose. Scriptwriting is near flawless. Byrne and Gleeson both add just enough depth (ugh, I hate that word... "realism?") to avoid cliches. Supporting characters have their own storyline. Modern without being trite. Kind of that Lego Movie humor if that's your speed. Beautiful artwork, natural animation, seamless CGI/SFX, great mixed media... Great variety in pacing. The writing is never lazy. A few great digs at the French. And it takes care to be self-aware and break its own movie tropes. I.e., I'm no fan of shot-to-the-groin humor, but they made it work so the slapstick was relevant. Yes, could have lost the allergy scene. Harmless in the end, but it was so weak compared to everything else it was distracting.
As long as you're not expecting Beatrix Potter, you should love it. Parents and kids in the theater I was in loved it. Near-constant laughter. Every joke or moment hit. On the top of my 2018 list.
The Easter Bunny Is Comin' to Town (1977)
No good, no story
Picked Easter Bunny is Coming to Town off the library shelf, hoping to share some of my childhood memories with my 8- and 10-year old. Didn't work. Not because any issues with dated dialogue or advances in animation technology (which my 10 son incessantly pointed out during the movie), but because Rankin|Bass forgot to tell a good story.
Think about Rudolf. Is it about Christmas? Not really. It's about accepting oneself, overcoming obstacles, friendship, and celebrating differences.
For the EBCT, it's about answering children's questions about Easter traditions. That's it. Why do we color eggs? Why are the eggs hidden? Why are there jellybeans? And so on. There's no reason to spoil you with the answers because zzzzzz
.
The backdrop is recycled. A hodgepodge of familiar Rankin|Bass fare. Newsreel. An orphan. Among orphans. In an orphan village. With a nearby town that's oppressed by an austere ruler
Are you seeing a pattern here?
That wouldn't be bad except for none of it's explained very well. The characters have no motivations. No true or deep relationships are built. Sure, Sunny the Easter Bunny wants to make people happy
something that is stumbled upon
(deeeeep breath) by the nature of building an importing/exporting economic model by capitalizing on their world-renowned (how do they know this?) eggs, thus bringing in better goods for the orphan town of Kidsville. But I digress.
(Mind you, if Rankin|Bass really went for it, to make Sunny Bunny some sort of charitable economic genius, instead of a Santa with furry ears, THAT could have been original and interesting.)
I'll also add that the songs were dull and uninspired. Sunny's sidekick, Hallelujah, isn't very charming as they hope him to be. The three chickens were annoying, near southern-belle stereotypes. Their song about "Firsts," a.k.a., "The chicken or the egg" will have Christian enthusiasts, quietly nodding along while science crawls back into the water.
Speaking of water, the environment is also stiff. There is no magic. One doesn't watch Rankin|Bass looking for Pixar-style graphics or animation but there is absolutely no charm here that made Rudolph, Santa, or even the Heatmiser a visual feast. The characters' fur looks worn, shabby. It feels less crafted and something you might buy pre-made off the craft store shelf. Their motion isn't very sharp or considered.
Aha! I just stumbled on a theory on why this movie is so terrible. After such forcibly secular Santa tales, maybe Rankin|Bass felt the need to capture the good graces of Christian audiences? No, not forced. But then again, is there another movie where a character is named, "Hallelujah?"
In the end, this is a vapid, useless tale. It gets two stars because if you want to keep your 6-year old occupied it may kill 50 minutes. Gadzooks, the evil bear growls a lot and turns good pretty quickly. He shouldn't scare your children unless they're offended by bad voice acting—a trait shared by most of the actors.
Oh, don't bother with the DVD extras. Did you think they'd show a bit of Rankin|Bass history, an explanation on stop-motion animation technology, or at least trailers of their good specials? Nope. Seems like all they could offer were three stop-motion shorts made by some first-time, community college students.
Though this one was a bust, I'm not giving up on lesser Rankin|Bass features. I'm hoping, "Here Comes Peter Cottontail" with Vincent Price as "Irontail," was the movie I was looking for, because it certainly was not this one.
Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999)
A Tiara on a Turd
Browsing through other online comments, I was most surprised to see this one: "If you're a fan of such movies as "This is Spinal Tap", "Waiting for Guffman" and "Best In Show", you'll thoroughly enjoy this movie.' Huh? I believe a 180° correction needs to be said: If you're a fan of such incredibly well-written, thoughtful and satirical movies as "This is Spinal Tap", "Waiting for Guffman" and "Best In Show", you'll thoroughly wish you hadn't wasted your time with this movie. Granted, it's a pretty good cast, but people, people, you can't put a tiara on a turd and crown thee entertainment. Once you've stepped in this movie it's all you can do to clean it off yourself before you track it anywhere else. In fact, my wife sniffed this video out 15 minutes in and left the room before getting it all over herself. Not me, I managed to trudge through this mess for nearly an hour. Yes, in `Drop Dead Gorgeous' Michael Patrick Jann & Lona Williams tried to clone the formula that has worked so well for Christopher Guest, Eugene Levy and others. And no, these writer/ directors do not have proprietary rights to the mockumentary format, but they do have, however, one element that Jann/Williams do not, and that's talent-a flair, finesse and faculty for the form. Aside from a solid performance by Kirsten Dunst, and yeoman efforts by Allison Janney and Ellen Barkin, this movie has more value as VHS tape than a DVD-at least with tape you can rerecord over it. Or maybe we'll be able to look back on this effort and perhaps thank it for ending the truly sorry career of Kirstie Alley, who possesses all the magnetism, charm and ability of a 3- day old bowl of shredded wheat. (And no, hawking bamboo for Pier 1 does not count as a `career boost.' -don't get me started there.)
For the movie itself, it was predictable to waning to miserable in progression. Can anyone say they were surprised by any one element or character in this mess? Bitch Queen Stage Mother with Spoiled Princess Daughter, Apple Pie All-American Girl, Anorexic Champions, Retarded Townspeople. I'm surprised they didn't include a Pregnant Teen Smoker, or an Alcoholic Trailer-Trash Girlfriend, oh wait. they did! (And unless the title of your movie includes `DORF' or `Benny Hill,' getting hit in or falling on one's crotch DOES NOT COUNT AS COMEDY. We've see it every week on `America's Funniest Home Movies' folks, it's played out.)
With the sometime exception of Dunst, by playing each and every character to its extreme, there was little measure left for true comedy-nuance, timing and development. I'd love to continue discussing how horrible `Drop Dead Gorgeous' was, but you get the point, or poop. Dunst earns this mess a pity vote. 2 out of 10 on the IMDB scale.
Different for Girls (1996)
More like, Indifference for Girls
Predictable like an unsalted Saltine, this movie takes what could have been a rich an entertaining story and creates an intriguing blend of indifference.
Unsurprises meet us at every turn. Boy meets... uh, Girl. Boy loses Girl. Boy wins Girl story. The mere addition of a post-op TS does not make for a compelling movie. Add on top of that bland performances by the title characters with all the dynacism of a glass of prune juice. And the extraneous plot lines of their work, his girlfriend (wouldn't you have liked to see a confrontation here?) and her relationship with her sister's family are just as undeveloped, if not vacuous.
Maybe this is a tour de force for post-ops everywhere, but it's really tour de flat.
If not for the music, it would be among the worst movies I have ever seen. Two stars out of Ten.